Hey everyone! Gomen nasai for the delay! There are many excuses, but I'll save that for another time!
Apologies if this chapter sucks, but I wouldn't normally write this kinda thing - I simply bowed to growing demand. I hope you enjoy it anyway, it was quite good fun to write!
This chapter is dedicated to everyone who asked for it, and to DAU - hope you enjoy this as much as the rest of it!
And guess what? I resisted the urge to include Spam in this chapter! ^_^ Go me!
Hyfen: You're a moron -_-'
Baz: *pouts* Leamme alone...
*~*~*~*~*~*
"But Yami!" Yugi whined. "He keeps picking on us and someone's gotta make him stop!"
Yami sighed. As anyone who's tried can tell you, when someone's drunk and in the mood for a fight, it is very hard to make them see sense. Especially when they are your hikari and so you can't use any physical force on them. "Look, Yugi… It really isn't worth it. After all, he's only a tomb robber - you're the hikari of a Pharaoh! He's not worth the breath spent walking over to him!"
This - as you could easily guess - did very little to sway Yugi's mood. "But Yami, if we let him get away with it, he'll keep doing it!"
Bakura watched this little 'discussion' with much amusement. "What's the matter Pharaoh? Can't even keep your hikari under control? How on earth did you manage an empire? Oh, wait…" Bakura sniggered slightly, a cocky grin adorning his features. "You were only in charge for… what, a year?"
Yami glared at Bakura, and Bakura could almost see the flames leap into his eyes. For possibly the first time ever, Bakura wondered if he'd gone too far. He'd clearly hit a nerve, at any rate. Bakura could swear storm clouds were beginning to gather around Yami, and for half a second he thought he could see an angry purple vortex open behind him. Quite *how* a vortex could be angry, he didn't know - but this one was.
"YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, TOMBROBBER NO BAKAYARO!" Yami bellowed, practically spitting balls of lightning at Bakura. Were it not for the fact that Bakura was already hiding behind Ryou, Yami may well have swung at him.
Yugi sighed. "See Yami? That's what I was talking about. Hey Yami… hey, that's not fair! No, you said I wasn't allowed to hit him! No, stop it Yami! That's not fair! STOP IT!"
Yami paid Yugi very little attention. He was currently chasing Bakura around the room, slightly foaming at the mouth with a demented snarl on his face, hurling abuse in as many languages as he was possibly capable. Ryou couldn't help but grin at the sight of his yami fleeing from the enraged Pharaoh, the look of terror on his face one that Ryou wanted to capture in his mind forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Suddenly, the chase was halted by a blob of rather hastily made mashed potato hitting Yami on the back of the head. Yami spun round, first looking at Ryou. Ryou stared innocently back at Yami, and showed him his hands. "Nani?"
When he saw Ryou had nothing in his hands, Yami turned to Yugi in disbelief.
Yugi was stood, swaying slightly from his alcohol-fuelled efforts and looking rather sheepish, with a bottle of water in one hand and an empty Spam tin now lined with mashed potato in the other. Behind him was a torn-open packet of Smash [that's instant mash, for those who don't know]. "Yami… I know Bakura pushed it… but I'm not letting you be a hypocrite!"
Yami gaped at Yugi. After a second, his gape became a grin, which quickly transposed into a maniacal glare. "So you want to throw food eh?" he muttered through clenched teeth. He reached for the first box he could find - eggs. "Perfect."
Yugi's eyes opened wide. "Yami… you wouldn't…"
Just to be safe, Yugi dived as Yami pulled his arm back - straight behind Ryou. Or, to be more exact, INTO Ryou - alcohol doesn't really help your aim, especially when you aren't even looking where you're going.
The two boys fell onto the floor in a pile of arms and legs, Yugi yelling in surprise at hitting something and Ryou yelling in annoyance at being hit, both oblivious to the hail of eggs that flew over them. Ryou pushed Yugi back down as he stood up. "Why the hell did you -" Ryou was cut off as an egg hit him on the cheek. For a second he thought it was a fist.
He spun round to face where the egg had come from. "Yami!" he cried, a look of utter annoyance crossing his face. "What was tha-?"
Ryou was cut off as another egg struck him square on the head. Yugi giggled from the floor. "Looks like you've got egg on your face, Ryou!"
Much to the surprise of Ryou, Yugi and Yami, Bakura actually sniggered at that one. "Not bad, carrot-boy!" he chuckled. "Mind if I have a go?"
Before anyone knew what was happening, Bakura leapt off the shelf he'd climbed up on, straight over Yami. As he flew over, a faint sludgy sound was heard, before Bakura dropped onto his feet with his trademark smirk back where it belonged. "Gee Yami, looks like you're in a bit of a sticky situation right now, ne?"
Yugi gasped at Yami's predicament. "Bakura… HOW is Yami going to get that SYRUP out of his HAIR???"
Yami simply stood still as the syrup began trickling down his face. A vein had appeared on his temple, and he closed his eyes as the syrup reached his eyebrows. "That…" he began, pausing to take a soothing breath. "Was too much."
Before Bakura knew it, the whole remaining box of Yami's eggs had been smashed into his face. Yes, even the box.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Yugi knew his chance when he saw it. And he saw it now. He spun round and grabbed a bag of flour off the shelf behind him. "Stop calling me carrot-boy!" he screamed, before ripping the top off the bag and launching it at Bakura. Bakura, who had looked toward Yugi as he'd screamed, barely managed to get half of his shriek of surprise out before the bag hit him.
The albino boy was suddenly much whiter than usual. Two chocolaty brown eyes stared out of the sea of flour and white hair that now made up Bakura's head. All of his shirt - the nice green one Ryou had bought him for Christmas that he secretly loved - was also white, and so were his trousers, down to the knees. Bakura couldn't even choose which term of abuse he wanted to scream first. Before he had a chance, Ryou came bounding over.
"Oh 'Kura…" he trilled. As Bakura turned round, Ryou pulled his hand back and rammed it into Bakura's face. Yami and Yugi gaped at the cherry that had just been shoved up Bakura's nose. Ryou simply smiled. "Don't you see? Eggs… flour… cherry… we've made a 'Kura-cake!"
Yami and Yugi couldn't help themselves. They both doubled up laughing, leaning on eachother and gasping for breath. Bakura, on the other hand, didn't see the funny side of it. He saw red.
Bakura bent over and picked something up before walking over to the two teens, who were still giggling. He suddenly snapped his head forward, sending up a large cloud of flour… which stuck to Yami's hair. Before Yami could react, Bakura shoved him away and turned to Yugi, who gulped slightly. To be fair, who wouldn't when confronted with a carrot-wielding maniac?
Bakura wasn't wielding the carrot for long. In the twinkling of an eye, he jabbed his hand up towards Yugi's face. Fortunately for Yugi, it was only a baby carrot - still, that didn't stop it hurting as it was implanted into his left nostril.
"There we go!" Bakura cried as Yugi stumbling away, his eyes watering. "'Kura-cake just made a carrot-boy!"
With that, Bakura turned his attention to Ryou. "Ah, my dear little hikari…" he sneered. "You're so good to me, aren't you?"
Bakura grabbed a bottle of pure orange juice from the small chiller unit as he passed it. "How'd you like some orange Ryou? You must be so thirsty, all that laughing you were doing at my expense."
Ryou tried to protest, but all that came out were mumbled stutterings.
Bakura lunged forward and tipped the orange over Ryou's head, who shrieked. "KISAMA! Bakura, that was cold!" Ryou suddenly realised something else. "And that's orange! And I have white hair! Bakura, ORANGE STAINS WHITE!"
Bakura chuckled. "Isn't it wonderful?"
Ryou turned round to look for something to retaliate with. In a dark corner, he saw what looked like a rotten turnip. He lunged and grabbed it, before spinning back round. "Hey Bakura, have some of this!"
No matter what anyone tells you, rotten turnips don't squeak like rats when thrown.
"Oh shit…"
*~*~*~*~*~*
There we go! Gomen nasai again for the delay, please review! ^_^
Apologies if this chapter sucks, but I wouldn't normally write this kinda thing - I simply bowed to growing demand. I hope you enjoy it anyway, it was quite good fun to write!
This chapter is dedicated to everyone who asked for it, and to DAU - hope you enjoy this as much as the rest of it!
And guess what? I resisted the urge to include Spam in this chapter! ^_^ Go me!
Hyfen: You're a moron -_-'
Baz: *pouts* Leamme alone...
*~*~*~*~*~*
"But Yami!" Yugi whined. "He keeps picking on us and someone's gotta make him stop!"
Yami sighed. As anyone who's tried can tell you, when someone's drunk and in the mood for a fight, it is very hard to make them see sense. Especially when they are your hikari and so you can't use any physical force on them. "Look, Yugi… It really isn't worth it. After all, he's only a tomb robber - you're the hikari of a Pharaoh! He's not worth the breath spent walking over to him!"
This - as you could easily guess - did very little to sway Yugi's mood. "But Yami, if we let him get away with it, he'll keep doing it!"
Bakura watched this little 'discussion' with much amusement. "What's the matter Pharaoh? Can't even keep your hikari under control? How on earth did you manage an empire? Oh, wait…" Bakura sniggered slightly, a cocky grin adorning his features. "You were only in charge for… what, a year?"
Yami glared at Bakura, and Bakura could almost see the flames leap into his eyes. For possibly the first time ever, Bakura wondered if he'd gone too far. He'd clearly hit a nerve, at any rate. Bakura could swear storm clouds were beginning to gather around Yami, and for half a second he thought he could see an angry purple vortex open behind him. Quite *how* a vortex could be angry, he didn't know - but this one was.
"YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, TOMBROBBER NO BAKAYARO!" Yami bellowed, practically spitting balls of lightning at Bakura. Were it not for the fact that Bakura was already hiding behind Ryou, Yami may well have swung at him.
Yugi sighed. "See Yami? That's what I was talking about. Hey Yami… hey, that's not fair! No, you said I wasn't allowed to hit him! No, stop it Yami! That's not fair! STOP IT!"
Yami paid Yugi very little attention. He was currently chasing Bakura around the room, slightly foaming at the mouth with a demented snarl on his face, hurling abuse in as many languages as he was possibly capable. Ryou couldn't help but grin at the sight of his yami fleeing from the enraged Pharaoh, the look of terror on his face one that Ryou wanted to capture in his mind forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Suddenly, the chase was halted by a blob of rather hastily made mashed potato hitting Yami on the back of the head. Yami spun round, first looking at Ryou. Ryou stared innocently back at Yami, and showed him his hands. "Nani?"
When he saw Ryou had nothing in his hands, Yami turned to Yugi in disbelief.
Yugi was stood, swaying slightly from his alcohol-fuelled efforts and looking rather sheepish, with a bottle of water in one hand and an empty Spam tin now lined with mashed potato in the other. Behind him was a torn-open packet of Smash [that's instant mash, for those who don't know]. "Yami… I know Bakura pushed it… but I'm not letting you be a hypocrite!"
Yami gaped at Yugi. After a second, his gape became a grin, which quickly transposed into a maniacal glare. "So you want to throw food eh?" he muttered through clenched teeth. He reached for the first box he could find - eggs. "Perfect."
Yugi's eyes opened wide. "Yami… you wouldn't…"
Just to be safe, Yugi dived as Yami pulled his arm back - straight behind Ryou. Or, to be more exact, INTO Ryou - alcohol doesn't really help your aim, especially when you aren't even looking where you're going.
The two boys fell onto the floor in a pile of arms and legs, Yugi yelling in surprise at hitting something and Ryou yelling in annoyance at being hit, both oblivious to the hail of eggs that flew over them. Ryou pushed Yugi back down as he stood up. "Why the hell did you -" Ryou was cut off as an egg hit him on the cheek. For a second he thought it was a fist.
He spun round to face where the egg had come from. "Yami!" he cried, a look of utter annoyance crossing his face. "What was tha-?"
Ryou was cut off as another egg struck him square on the head. Yugi giggled from the floor. "Looks like you've got egg on your face, Ryou!"
Much to the surprise of Ryou, Yugi and Yami, Bakura actually sniggered at that one. "Not bad, carrot-boy!" he chuckled. "Mind if I have a go?"
Before anyone knew what was happening, Bakura leapt off the shelf he'd climbed up on, straight over Yami. As he flew over, a faint sludgy sound was heard, before Bakura dropped onto his feet with his trademark smirk back where it belonged. "Gee Yami, looks like you're in a bit of a sticky situation right now, ne?"
Yugi gasped at Yami's predicament. "Bakura… HOW is Yami going to get that SYRUP out of his HAIR???"
Yami simply stood still as the syrup began trickling down his face. A vein had appeared on his temple, and he closed his eyes as the syrup reached his eyebrows. "That…" he began, pausing to take a soothing breath. "Was too much."
Before Bakura knew it, the whole remaining box of Yami's eggs had been smashed into his face. Yes, even the box.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Yugi knew his chance when he saw it. And he saw it now. He spun round and grabbed a bag of flour off the shelf behind him. "Stop calling me carrot-boy!" he screamed, before ripping the top off the bag and launching it at Bakura. Bakura, who had looked toward Yugi as he'd screamed, barely managed to get half of his shriek of surprise out before the bag hit him.
The albino boy was suddenly much whiter than usual. Two chocolaty brown eyes stared out of the sea of flour and white hair that now made up Bakura's head. All of his shirt - the nice green one Ryou had bought him for Christmas that he secretly loved - was also white, and so were his trousers, down to the knees. Bakura couldn't even choose which term of abuse he wanted to scream first. Before he had a chance, Ryou came bounding over.
"Oh 'Kura…" he trilled. As Bakura turned round, Ryou pulled his hand back and rammed it into Bakura's face. Yami and Yugi gaped at the cherry that had just been shoved up Bakura's nose. Ryou simply smiled. "Don't you see? Eggs… flour… cherry… we've made a 'Kura-cake!"
Yami and Yugi couldn't help themselves. They both doubled up laughing, leaning on eachother and gasping for breath. Bakura, on the other hand, didn't see the funny side of it. He saw red.
Bakura bent over and picked something up before walking over to the two teens, who were still giggling. He suddenly snapped his head forward, sending up a large cloud of flour… which stuck to Yami's hair. Before Yami could react, Bakura shoved him away and turned to Yugi, who gulped slightly. To be fair, who wouldn't when confronted with a carrot-wielding maniac?
Bakura wasn't wielding the carrot for long. In the twinkling of an eye, he jabbed his hand up towards Yugi's face. Fortunately for Yugi, it was only a baby carrot - still, that didn't stop it hurting as it was implanted into his left nostril.
"There we go!" Bakura cried as Yugi stumbling away, his eyes watering. "'Kura-cake just made a carrot-boy!"
With that, Bakura turned his attention to Ryou. "Ah, my dear little hikari…" he sneered. "You're so good to me, aren't you?"
Bakura grabbed a bottle of pure orange juice from the small chiller unit as he passed it. "How'd you like some orange Ryou? You must be so thirsty, all that laughing you were doing at my expense."
Ryou tried to protest, but all that came out were mumbled stutterings.
Bakura lunged forward and tipped the orange over Ryou's head, who shrieked. "KISAMA! Bakura, that was cold!" Ryou suddenly realised something else. "And that's orange! And I have white hair! Bakura, ORANGE STAINS WHITE!"
Bakura chuckled. "Isn't it wonderful?"
Ryou turned round to look for something to retaliate with. In a dark corner, he saw what looked like a rotten turnip. He lunged and grabbed it, before spinning back round. "Hey Bakura, have some of this!"
No matter what anyone tells you, rotten turnips don't squeak like rats when thrown.
"Oh shit…"
*~*~*~*~*~*
There we go! Gomen nasai again for the delay, please review! ^_^
