Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. A company named Gainax does. If they request I take this off of the net then I will.

A/N: OK, I'm real sorry for the long long wait. It's out now though ;)

If you people want to read copies of it sooner, it should be out on www.evamade.com earlier than FF.net. OK, this one seems broken up into too many pieces to me, but I'll let the people be the judge of that. Big thanks to my pre-reader Seranov, wouldn't be the same without you man!

If it is in Italics, it is thought

If not in Italics it is either descriptive or action

If it is in "…" then apparently this is speech.

The Ikari Doctrine: Chapter 9 / Magmatic Situations


Shinji peeked over the edge, into the depths of the volcano, "It's lava, alright!"


Asuka rolled her eyes inside her Eva, while said biomech was now attached to a crane and fully outfitted in what Asuka dubbed 'stupid volcano armor.' As it swung none-to-gracefully, side-to-side, she turned on her intercom.


"Okay. Pack it up people; our invincible leader has identified the problem…. There is lava in the volcano. Way to go Shinji, way to think that one through!"


I can't take it anymore… She's relentless! Shinji raked his fingers down his face while his counterpart smiled evilly.


Left yourself wide open for that one, didn't ya!


Back on ground level, Misato, Ritsuko, and Maya were gathered around a bank of computers known as the temporary command center.


"Don't you think you should put some order back into this operation, Captain?"


"No, not really…. They're entertaining me for now. Once the insults veer in my direction, I'll put my foot down." The beautiful captain said this as more of a passing thought, rather than a response to the blonde's question.


"Of course… how noble of you." Whether or not the response was directed her way or not, she still didn't approve of the Captain's flippant behavior.


Just then Shinji came in over the comm. channel "Misato…. Why are there so many planes flying above us?"


"Oh that" Misato waved her hand dismissively "they're there in case we fail our mission."


Asuka just had to interject on that note, "What are AIIIRRRR DEFFFFENSES going to accomplish that me and my Evangelion, can't?" You could feel the sarcasm coming off the statement, but the good doctor answered her query.


"They will use N2 mines to destroy both the Angel and us."


"THAT SUCKS!!!!" Asuka really wasn't THAAAT surprised… but it still sucked rat droplets.


"Who would give such an order?


"That would be the…"


"Wait- it was my dad's order, wasn't it?"


That has to be one of the stupidest questions I have ever asked.


Maya piped up "Yep, the Commander sure is adamant about destroying the Angels."


No shit. Thought more than two hundred separate entities at the same time… and in varying locales.


"Hey Shinji, what the hell's the matter with your dad? He must hate you as much as I do." Asuka had no idea how much that would sting Shinji… but if she had… she still would have said it.


"Yeah, this is definitely one of the nicer things he's ever done." Shinji hung his head low and his tone definitely weakened, as opposed to the previous weeks… and everyone could tell.


No one disturbed the silence that prevailed, not even the overly proud redhead, because she knew first hand how parents could be.


The crane broke the silence first as it began to lower Asuka into the blazing hot magma.


"Hey, Asuka?" Shinji's tone remained somber.


"Yeah, what is it?" She felt for him… but she wasn't getting too carried away with it, and she was feeling a little stressed about the whole "magma diving" operation.


"Your ass is HUGE in that thing!" Shinji and his mood took quite the upturn, it appeared.


The temporary command center burst into laughter. Asuka tried to wiggle her way out of the crane harness to get to Shinji, cursing all the way I might add.


"Calm down Asuka, calm down… (background laughter) …you'll break the harness and be lost in the magma otherwise." Misato said this in between fits of laughter.


Asuka surprisingly did what she was told, but she pointed the pincher of her Evangelion at Shinji's.


"I'll pinch off your manhood after I finish the op, Baka!!!"


The pinchers on Asuka's Eva began to slam back and forth together as she was lowered down. In fact, after her overly-large robot was totally submerged, the pincher burst back out of the lava, giving Shinji quite the scare, to give one final snap before it, too, was submerged in the lava as well.


Why does everything have to revolve around ME and my manhood???



Gendo Ikari walked down the halls of NERV… his own personal kingdom, where HIS law was absolute.

Feels good to be king.

Gendo rounded the corner into the command center, and was quite surprised to see the largest girl on girl porn picture he had ever seen floating in mid air, where strategies and planning usually hovered. Of course it wasn't one of those 'My grandma just got hit by a truck' surprises, quite the contrary. Truth be told, Gendo was a big fan of it. While looking at the picture, Gendo was quite surprised to see one woman's head being cut out of the picture…. And what looked like his secret lover's head being put back in its place.

What in the hell???

Gendo stepped from out of the shadows only to observe the long-haired bridge tech working diligently to cover any blemishes that occurred in the image transplant.

Damnit… I should really remember these people's names.

Instead of booming out the tech's name, which in his personal opinion would have induced much more anxiety in a subordinate, he cleared his throat loudly, only to witness the underling jump up to attention.

Eh… It worked well enough.

"Lieutenant, exactly what are you doing?"

Needless to say Aoba was sweating some might fierce bullets… and wondering exactly what God he pissed off and how he could make amends.

"Sir… I am editing a picture as a…. joke."

OH SHIT!!! That was pathetic.

"Indeed… who will this… joke… be played on?"

"Lieutenant Ibuki, sir."

"So in other words… her face will be replacing the other woman's face?"

"Sir… yes sir?"

OK… This is not what I expected… but better than what I did… so…what-the-fuck-ever.

The tech wasn't going to be the one to screw up his own good luck.

She is a cute one… I can't say I haven't thought it before… it is a quality picture… Gendo made up his mind on a course of action.

"And what of the operation?"

"The operation is proceeding as scheduled, sir."

Aoba had no freaking clue how it was really going. For all the tech knew it could have failed and everyone would soon perish. Truth be told… he forgot all about the Angel…and operation, but damned if he was going to let his commanding officer know THAT!

Gendo took a quick look at the document heading of the picture… for future reference and all that sort of thing.

"Carry on then."

Gendo spared one last look at the picture and headed for the elevator that took him back to the "throne room". In contrast, Aoba plopped back down in his chair with utter shock written on his face. That was not the way that was supposed to happen… I should have been fired, or reprimanded, or something!!! Right? Aoba just thanked his lucky stars and put the finishing touches on his picture… Then he made sure to email it to everyone in NERV. Of course he did this while trying to laugh evilly… but it only came out girly-like.

Gendo was silent for most of the elevator ride up to his office… until he took off his glove to reveal the embryo of Adam, one of the most powerful Angels, and he spoke to him.

"Scream all you want to…. No one's going to save you now!"

It seemed Gendo was planning on studying the picture more closely.

A tear formed in the corner of Adam's eye.

________________________________________________________________________

"THERMAL EXPANSION!!!"

"This is no time for your boob grabbing antics!!! This is serious!!!"

"NO… THE COOLANT!"

OK… the fact that he wasn't talking about some form of perverseness was shocking enough to Asuka, but add to it that he actually used his brain for some form of strategic thought… and that stumped her a little bit.

"RIGHT, PUMP ALL COOLANT THROUGH PIPE FOUR... NOW!!!" Asuka yelled out her orders from the front lines as Misato confirmed the orders in the command center with short nods. Tearing the specified coolant pipe off her suit, Asuka jabbed the end of the pipe over the Angel's core. She then hacked away at the red orb, which could have been green, but the lava had a way of making things red. With Shinji's borrowed prog knife, she kept stabbing the orb until it finally sank its way up to the hilt in the Angel's power source. Asuka let out a sigh of relief as the Angel started to disintegrate in the lava… However, it was short lived though as the Angel's clawed extremity shot out in a last-ditch effort, tearing the last three remaining coolant pipes. In doing so, it only left the beautiful redhead with a quickly depleting scrap of support.

Well shit!

"I defeated the Angel… but that's it… I'm done for." She sounded defeated, she had accepted the inevitable. What she didn't know is that someone up there secretly loved her… and the inevitable doesn't mean shit when love is involved… especially when a giant robot that somehow feeds off a person's emotions is involved.

As Asuka's last support cable snapped, she began to sink deeper into the magma. Her decent was suddenly jerked to a stop, however. As she looked up she found herself staring into the eyes of Evangelion unit 01… her savior. The two began to ascend to safety once again.

He saved me… Adoration seemed to permeate her features...

"You show off."

Then she remembered her promise…. And owned up.

Maya knew everything would be okay when she saw Unit 01 go into the lava… it just seemed that Shinji always got what needed to be done… well, done.

Once she had confirmed that Asuka was safe she proceeded to think about other things… even though the sounds of Shinji's howls, whimpers, and pleas coming through the loud speakers permeated the tent.

So she decided she needed to check her email. What she found there was her regular bank notifications, jokes of the day, and SPAM. There was something from the NERV STAFF that she noticed was odd… it had a picture link on it.

That rarely happens.

Once she clicked on the link she noticed that she obviously had some fun with her sempai that she had forgotten about. Either that or Aoba was going to have to pay… and Shigeru would have to suffer as a consequence. Wasting no time… and hoping too many people hadn't saved that picture on their hard drives; Maya replaced the picture with that of Aoba and Shigeru in a very provocative position. She had made multiple pictures like this in case revenge needed to be exacted in a hurry.

"Always be prepared."

Gendo sat in his "throne" studying 'thoroughly the picture that in his opinion was a work of art.

The First Angel on the other hand was none too impressed with the picture that was the cause of his current "situation." The First Angel's plight would soon come to an end though. As Gendo was enjoying the picture particularly well, it changed.

Gendo was so shocked by the sudden metamorphosis that he jumped back in his seat, causing it to flip over and leaving him in a very embarrassing position sprawled out on the floor. At this moment Fuyutski made his entrance, reading a document as he walked into the office.

"Gendo these rep..." Fuyutski looked up only to see his commanding officer sprawled out on the floor, pants around his ankles, and staring back at Fuyutski. Fuyutski looked back on Gendo's desk to find an image of the two male techs having some personal time together. Fuyutski did an about face, shook his head, and exited the office.

"I'm too old for this shit!"

Toji Suzahara was having a wonderfully spectacularly, stupendous day.

He had finally gained some ground in his relationship with the Class Rep.

Even though spawned through talk of his hospitalized sister, Toji had become quite familiar with the Class Rep's family as well… They had talked for 2 whole hours (much to one Kensuke Aida's dismay) while waiting on their turn to go out on the boat and start their diving adventure. She had shared with him that she basically took care of her sisters, because her dad didn't have too much time to deal with them. He had in turn told her of his own dad's absence at his household. The chit chat led to Shinji and Asuka, then to the organization NERV, then to how all of their lives seem to be stolen by that sole organization. Of course, it was rare form for Toji. Normally he would have said that deep thoughts and chit chat with girls was for plain ole wussies. Toji Suzahara found himself falling for the Class Rep… and when you're falling for someone, you really aren't listening to logic or reason any more. Whether it was the electrical shocks he had received earlier or just plain growing up, he decided to be daring… he asked her to a movie. Yep Toji Suzahara's first date would be with a girl he had secretly admired for a long while- if only all guys were as lucky. But all that was earlier… this is now.

Toji had beaten Hikari back to the boat after they decided to conduct a little race. Kensuke would have been there to race as well but he had premature equipment failure and was already on the boat. He watched Hikari swimming back, the sun glistened off her beautiful skin as she swam gracefully back to the boat, and that's when Toji saw it, a fin was following his budding romantic-interest, and she was still a good fifteen feet away from the boat! Toji decided to take drastic measures... but he didn't particularly feel like becoming shark food that day. Taking the next best alternative, he grabbed his friend out of his seat and slung him directly in the path of the fin and Hikari.

What did all this earn him you might ask?

Toji was severely reprimanded by his instructors, and put on warning: not for what you might think, but for the fact that Kensuke soiled himself upon seeing the approaching fin, and they had to ride back with him for thirty minutes. He would also be berated for years to come about how he sacrificed his child hood friend for some girl he had a crush on, who just happened to have been being followed by a tuna fish.

It all didn't seem worth it… that is until he got that little peck on the cheek. The rest of the consequences didn't seem all THAT bad then.

Shinji was learning the pains of heroism first hand. The neural feedbacks sent the burning sensation of lava on flesh right to his own nervous system. That compacted with the fact that the LCL had actually reached scalding temperatures was making life a little unbearable at the moment. The fact that he now had to cradle his groin because of Asuka's pinchers wasn't helping things either. The support crew that ran over to Shinji found out quickly that touching him was a bad idea after the first one that did so got pegged in the head with a neural interface. Shinji made his way to the command tent only to receive a great big slap on the back and cheerful smile from the operations director. Choosing not to strangle his roommate with her own flight jacket, although images of such did run through his mind, he silently made his way to the temporary changing facilities, not once speaking to a person but to tell them to "back off!".

You're not going to strangle her… You're not going to strangle her… You're not…

Just then Shinji's thoughts were interrupted by something propelling him against the side of the truck he was about to enter.

OK WHAT S.O.B. HAS A DEATH WISH!?!?!?

He was pressed flat against the side of the truck by none other than the person he saved… And the person who had showed her thanks for the saving in a rather strange manner. Now she was the person who had caused him intensified pain by TOUCHING HIM.

"Listen up loser boy- don't ever try to steal my glory again… I could have handled the situation myself."

Shinji closed his eyes, repeating a simple mantra to him self.

You won't kill her… you won't kill her… you won't kill her

His mantra was interrupted by something soft and moist touching his cheeks. It stayed there for a little while, but Shinji dare not open his eyes in fear of it only being a dream.

When the object detached itself from his cheek he heard Asuka whisper right next to his ear

"Thanks anyway."

The pressure on his arms disappeared, but Shinji stayed where he was for the next five minutes, trying to catch his breath… not opening his eyes once.

The First Child was enjoying a day off of work. It wouldn't seem like she would be capable of such a thing, from past reference. Regardless of that, there she was sitting at a computer console and learning how to manipulate information via web connections.

The little Angel clone seemed to be doing quite well with it, too.

A smile slipped its way onto her face as she sent the best of the pictures of Asuka's night sleeping atop Shinji. It was the picture of Asuka barely lifting herself off Shinji to see what was poking her. That picture would appear on the desktops of people's computers worldwide.

Revenge is sweet.

Her smile broadened even more.

"OWW, you jerk!"

I just did what you said.

"What happened Asuka?" The concerned roommate's voice wafted over the bamboo wall to Shinji.

"He hit me in my most sensitive area!"

HOLD IT WITH THE IMAGERY!

"Oh, let me help!" Misato's voice had turned playful.

Shinji turned around as quick as he could; only to slap his other roommate/penguin in the face with… well... you know. For those of you who don't know… PenPen is NOT a good enemy to have.

PenPen gave Shinji what all males know as the "Evil Eye". Turned his head in defiance and paddled away. Turning once more towards Shinji to give a final squawk. This meant War.

Yeah…you'll be sorry.................................. bitch.

Shinji knew he was screwed; PenPen could take out Asuka if he wanted, and he didn't stand a chance…. He looked down.

Damn you… you're a curse to all men.

A/N: OK, it's done(that part anyway)I hope you like where it's going so far. As you may have noticed I'll be taking the romance part slow, so don't get your hopes too high for some instantaneous romance. Come visit us at and chat with a couple of really great authors and if want... just to hang around. I am also opening www.evamade.com for people to put they're works up. I'll accept pretty much anything there(of course, other authors will have to look at it as well). Have fun and laugh hardy peeps!

Till next time.