Dearest Reader,

The true identity of Gandalf has recently come into question. An individual styling him or herself "Vindalfr" put forward a claim that Gandalf is actually his dwarven name-twin. Gandalf immediately made an attempt to correct this obvious fallacy himself in a statement that was rendered sadly credible by his blatant ignorance of traditional dwarven culture. It is clear that Gandalf still subscribes to the outdated "secret sinister dwarf name" myth. Dwarves Middle Earth around have worked long and hard to break down the hurtful stereotypes into which we have been cast. For us, our dwarf names are a special link to our heritage. Dwarves are and always have been very open about their dwarvish names, and we do not, as Gandalf implies, use these names to mock or otherwise belittle members of the elven race. At least, it's frowned upon. Most of the time.

Had Gandalf actually bothered to read the Völuspá before attacking it he might have saved himself quite a few lines of rant questioning the veracity of what is, in reality, the official Bi-Ageual Dwarven Handbook of Aliases, from which every dwarf is free at the age of maturity to select for himself or herself a non-Dwarven name of choice. This document fell into human hands at some unknown point in time, which has resulted according to our reports in the addition of a plot and a catchier name. However, the substance of the work is still essentially the same, and as such is certainly not some mere manuscript that someone dug out of an old box and called history, as Gandalf seems to be asserting.

The copy of the Völuspá that "Vindalfr" is going by is clearly outdated, as the modern spelling of this name is "Víndalur" and today only an individual of Gandalf's age would spell it in its more archaic form. In fact, only an individual of Gandalf's age would spell it in its more archaic form, since its more archaic form is actually a misprint, found only in the Welcome To Arda: Third Age Welcome Wagons edition of the Völuspá. This was an error that, needless to say, was discovered quickly on in the age and every possible effort has been made to remove these incorrect editions from circulation, an effort that I may venture to say has been quite successful.

Gandalf is correct when he states that the name "Vindalfr" means "wind- elf", an extremely silly and unsuitable title for a dwarf. However, as has been mentioned above, this is actually a misprint of the legitimate and respectable dwarven name "Víndalur", "Valley of Wine", a popular non- Dwarven alias though not quite as popular as the perennial favourite Öldalfur, "Valley of Beer". Similarly, "Gandalfr" is actually a misprint of the name Gandalr, which translates roughly into English as "Twitchy Valley". This, admittedly, is not a very common name for a dwarf.

One thing is clear. Whoever this Vindalr is, we may safely assume that he is as ignorant as Gandalfr is when it comes to matters of scholarly integrity. It may be that Vindalr considers that this to be an extremely funny prank. But by preying on the innate beliefs that society as a whole holds about dwarves in order to mock Gandalf, Vindalr is in reality perpetrating the very images of us that we wish to break down.

Yours concernedly, Gimli, son of Glóin

(Paradise, son of The Glow)

PS. And those comparisons between me and Gandalf are just sick. The wizard doesn't even know how to braid his hair properly.