~*~*The Refrigerator of DoOm*~*~

by Halimeade

(( A/N: Yes, this is a parody. An original parody, if such a thing is possible. It doesn't particularly follow any it of plotline from the original series, but makes fun of its more pokable aspects. It's a story I wrote years ago when the idea of Sailor LoOn and the Whatsits was first concocted, and only now am I getting around to posting it ^.^; I do hope you enjoy it. Oh, a companion piece to this is LoOn Goes of Hogwarts by Mystica. Please read that as well! ))

~*Part I: Enter the Teacake King*~

            "LoOn, run slower, or walk faster!" Dee puffed as she began to lag behind the Whatsits's leader, who was dashing at top speed.

            "But if I do, there will be no more free food at the bakery when we get there!" LoOn pouted, but stopped running and waited for everyone to catch up, looking anxious.

            Kaliae, who was on the school's soccer team (not because she had any school spirit, mind you, but because there were no other teams to play on) jogged easily up beside LoOn. "It's the grand opening. There's going to be plenty of food." LoOn grunted in response.

            "Yeah, and if we don't slow the pace, the only thing there won't be anything left of is the Whatsits." Cera added dryly.

            At a more relaxed pace, the group made their way down the sidewalk. Their destination? A brand new eat-in bakery that was opening up that day, called Happy Teacake Bakery.

            " I still don't see why someone would name a wonderful place full of yummy cakes after something like *shudder* teakcakes," LoOn mused.

            "What about teacakes?" Kaliae said edgily.

            LoOn didn't respond, even though she looked like she really wanted to. This was probably because Triesta had her by the hair and was now dragging her down the sidewalk away from Kaliae, LoOn whimpering about the evil teacakes to her.

            Kaliae tugged on one of her odangos. She was a very big supporter of the teacakes, who the others always insisted were evil. 'They aren't evil' she thought. 'The fangs are just for self-defense. Besides, how could anything so cute be evil?'

            The rest of the trip went peacefully, till the bakery came into sight.

            "FOOD!" LoOn cried, and ran off before Triesta could get a hand on her.

            "~.~"

            "I guess it's safe-" Cera began, but was cut off by an ear-piercing scream from the direction of the bakery.

            " AAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S THE TEACAKE KING!"

            "...............?" The Whatsits ran towards LoOn's scream, Kaliae in the lead. The scene was indeed not pretty.

            "Take that, and that!" LoOn, now transformed into Sailor Lunatic, cried as she beat a large pink mass on the ground with the LoOn Bracelet.

            "But but-" The pink mass rolled over, curled up in the fetal position. It was a guy, maybe 17, dressed up in a giant pink teacake suit. "-I'm not a real teacake!! Leave me alone!"

He rolled again dodgingly.

            The Whatsits stared with the rest the gathered crowd, stunned.

            Suddenly, Kaliae jumped into action, throwing her transformation pencil into the air.

            "Obviously Transforming into a Sailor Whatsit!" and in a whirl of light and other pretty things that no one in the crowd (of course) saw, she transformed into Sailor Obvious.

            In the time this took, Sailor LoOn had backed up, the LoOn Stick now held out in front of her. "Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!" she said, and lifted the stick to cast one of her many attacks.

            "Noooooooo!" Obvious cried, and over-dramatically dived in front of the teacake-clad guy, shielding him from LoOn's sight. "Don't hurt him!"

            Sailor LoOn paused, looking very confused. "But but- Teacake King!" she whined.

            Obvious stayed where she was, arms outstretched. "No! The teacakes aren't really evil! And the Teacake King is our friend, too." She turned and looked down at the guy. "Right?"

            The accused Teakcake King poked his head out from between his hands. " My name is Boben, I just work here part-time! ."

            " Boben. Like Bo-ben?" Obvious asked, pronouncing his name oddly the second time.

            Boben nodded, and curled back up into a protective ball.

            Obvious turned back to Sailor LoOn. "See?!"

            Not really understanding what had just happened, LoOn lowered the LoOn Stick, a look of hard thinking on her face.  "Well......" she said slowly after a few tense minutes, "Alright, but just because he really doesn't look very scary." Then she untransformed and wandered into the bakery to sample some of the free food.

            Obvious also untransformed and began prying Boben out of his protective knot. "Are you okay? Did she hurt you? I'm really sorry Teacake King-guy-person, LoOn didn't mean it. Can I call you TK? It's much easier to say."

            "But I'm not a Teacake King-"

            Kaliae patted him on the head. "It's okay. I'm friends with the teacakes." She leaned in closer, and whispered conspiratorially. " I won't tell anyone else for you."

            Boben, now dubbed TK by Kaliae, just nodded again dumbly and scurried off into the bakery, running into a wall in his confusion. Kaliae sighed, looking after him wistfully.

            "I never knew there was a Teacake King," Triesta said suspiciously from behind Kaliae.

            "Maybe he's just the quiet type?" Crissy asked.

            ".........................." Kaliae added.