~*Part IV: At Ground Zero*~
"Maybe if you throw it up in the air like this!-" Sailor Airhead tossed the Evil Transporter Button into the air. "-and say 'Take me to King Barrel's Evil Lab Where Kaliae Is!' "
The button fell unceremoniously back to Earth, Gravity itself wondering if it had really been worth the effort.
"Well, I'm dunno then," she said, adjusting the powder blue bow on her fuku.
Sailor Cynic retrieved the button from the ground, and turned it over in her hand. "How tasteless," she sneered at the smiley face, passing it on to Sailor Contradiction.
"We can draw fangs on it," Sailor Random offered.
"Oh, Mamoo, don't hit your head on the light pole!" Sailor Lunatic pleaded from somewhere behind the close-knit group.
TK, nearly forgotten, stood nearby wishing he could just go home without guilt. But he couldn't, his thoughts returning to the insane girl that was trapped with a bunch of psycho ward residents somewhere in town. 'Kaliae.......'
"Hey, what's this?" Sailor Con pointed to a small bit of torn plastic on the edge of the button. All the Whatsits gather 'round closely to see, TK looking easily (being pretty tall)
over Random's shoulder.
"How.......unimpressive," Cynic said.
"Con!" Lunatic cried, "Don't rip it!-"
The button began to glow, and engulfed the group in light, transporting them to King Barrel's lair.
Mamoo looked up from his place behind the streetlamp, very confused. "LoOn?" he asked tentively. The only reply he received was from a passing cricket.
"Oh......" he sat down on the curb to wait patiently for her return.
~*~*~*~
The confusion that ensued was no less like a moonbounce at a five year-old's birthday party.
"What just happened?!" LoOn cried in dismay.
"It's dark in here," Con commented.
"Okay, someone is crushing my leg!" Cynic snapped.
"Who turned out the lights?" Airhead chirped.
TK, who unluckily ended up on the bottom of the dog pile, grunted.
Random, standing slightly apart from the group, flipped the light switch.
"Aww, now you've ruined my surprise entrance!" King Barrel, upon his dais-throne-booster seat, holding what amounted to several remote controls, dropped them in disappointment. "Oh well," he sighed. "Welcome to my lab Sailor Whatsits!"
However, his audience wasn't being rapt with attention, as they struggled still to disentagle themselves. He waited for them to stand (for no small amount of time), then tried again. "Teacake King, you've done well!"
TK continued to lie on the floor, pretending to be dead. He wasn't very brave when it came to this sort of thing. The Whatsits spun around.
"It's /not/ him!" Con declared.
"Where have you taken Kaliae, King Fishbowl!" LoOn demanded.
"That's King /Barrel/. And you're getting ahead of me." he said, and pushed a button on one of his remote controls. A curtain hanging from the roof on the left dropped, revealing his lab, and the small gaggle within.
"Kaliae!"
"Whatsits!" Kaliae cried back, trying to pull away from the grasp of the Generals, who held her near the Giant Refrigerator of Doom. A pink teacake was gnawing on the hem of Notbright's cape. The Generals waved slightly, making some Whatsits blush.
"We won't let you get away with whatever you are doing!" LoOn pointed at him.
"Ha! Prepare to see the first of you fall victim to my eeeeeeeevil! Generals, put her inside!" Kaliae was shoved inside the Refrigerator promptly, with slight relief evident. King Barrel then pushed another button, and a spectacle of lights began to flash on the machine, along with a slight hissing sound.
Kaliae banged and kicked at the Plexiglas door. "Help!" she shouted over and over. She didn't want the potassium sucked out of her body!
The Whatsit team stared, entranced by the shininess. Almost all.
"/Guys/," Cynic sighed, "Now is /not/ the time!" She snapped her whip weakly a few times at them, trying to draw their attention away, but they were stuck oogling like bugs to flypaper. Was she the only one not affected by anything shiny? "How dare you disable them!" She snapped at Barrel. "It'll take hours to get them conscious again!"
King Barrel cackled. "Yes, now I can slowly suck the potassium out of all you bodies at a time that is convenient with my cooking classes!"
".....What?"
"....Jay, JediKnight, get her!"
A rather violent fighting scene ensued, best not described for the more sensitive readers.
Inside the Giant Refrigerator of Doom, Kaliae's struggles had ceased as she slowly slipped into cyrogenic sleep. Leaning against the wall her eyes fluttered open and shut weakly. She couldn't get out, the Whatsits couldn't help, and Cynic was busy too. Was this going to be it? Would the Whatsits lose to Barrel after all?
TK slinked along the walls of the lab, trying not to be seen (Note this is difficult and pointless because the entire place is white and he is wearing a pink shirt from his work uniform).He crept up to the side of the Giant Refrigerator of Doom, and peeked inside at the now unconcious Kaliae.
"Can we.....help you?" Kachoonzite asked, turning him around.
"You tell him, Kachoonzite!" Notbright added. He hopped up and down trying to get the teacake to let go of his cape.
"Bless you?"
Notbright blinked. "I didn't sneeze."
Kachoonzite rolled his eyes. "What are you doing, Teacake King?"
A moan of slight discomfort came from inside the machine.
"Ummm....." TK paused to look at Kaliae. Being the heroic type-figure wasn't coming easy.
"I was....just curious to know how this thing turns off..-and on," he added hurriedly. He smiled weakly, a sweatdrop forming on his head.
The white-haired General narrowed his eyes in calculation. "I don't think you need to know about-"
"- Over here-!" Notbright pointed to a glossy yellow button. "On in depressed, Off is up. And this lever controls the potassium drain. Oh hey, it's almost halfway done," he piped happily. "And- can you get this teacake off me, please? ;.;"
Before the more lucid of the two generals could protest, TK threw his weight at Kachoonzite. It was barely enough to throw the bigger man of balance, but enough for TK to slip away and press the yellow button. There was a series of pops and creaks as the Giant Refrigerator of Doom shut down and the blinky lights went out, freeing the Whatsits.
The door popped open, and Kaliae slumped onto the floor.
King Barrel turned with a start. "Drat! I let myself be distracted by a really good fight scene, and look what happens! Generals, hurry, get them all!"
"Haha, too late!" Cynic snapped her whip. "C'mon Whatsits!"
"Oh no....." all four Generals groaned.
"LoOn Scepter Sparkles!"
"Random Elemental Blast!"
"Icy Flames Attack!"
Whatsit attacks rang throughout the room. When the dust cleared, the Giant Refrigerator of Doom had been destroyed, as well as anything else that had been in room. Strangely, Barrel and his Generals had escaped into thin air (also known as the emergency exit). The team now surrounded TK, who had Kaliae leaning against a large piece of scrap...well, you couldn't be sure anymore.
Airhead was shaking Kaliae violently. "Obvious! Obvious! Wake up!"
"Er, I don't think you should do that, " TK suggested.
Airhead whined slightly, to which Random pat her head calmingly. The teacake sat on Kaliae's knee and made a squeak.
"Kaliae?" Con asked with concern.
Kaliae shifted slightly. Her eyes fluttered for a moment, the reluctantly opened. "Guys?.....What happened?"
A stammer to reply came from Airhead, but Cynic cut her off with a look.
"King Barrel stuck you in his machinery thing and we were distracted and somehow you got free- what did happen?" LoOn asked.
"TK turned off the machine," Cynic said.
It took longer than usual, but that very sentence made Kaliae have her second obvious moment in just as many hours. "They stuck me in a machine that sucks all the potassium out of your body and I almost died by it but TK must have turned off the machine so I could get free and none of you would be hurt!" She leaned forward and clung to the afore-said hero. "I knew you weren't evil!"
TK shifted slightly, but couldn't get her off, and admittedly, didn't really want to. "...Your welcome," he said after a moment.
"So, who's hungry?"
