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A Ranma 1/2 Fan Fic
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Switch
by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo
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Please do remember that Ranma 1/2 is a trademark and a copyright of and 
by some big name people and companies I am not even worthy to introduce. 
Anybody who says that I took any of their stuff better not find me 
hiding. Also, great thanks to whoever reads this and likes it, good 
thanks to whoever reads it anyhow, and teeny-weeny thanks to whoever else 
even saw this. 
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Book I: Herbs and Spices
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Day 1



 First Flick



	Ranma returned to the dojo to find the breakfast Kasumi had 
spirited away when the more bottomless members of the household were not 
aware. Mumbling thanks, he decided to eat at racehorse speed before 
retiring to the bath to return to more comfortable trappings (all the 
while avoiding Akane). The coast being clear, he had hoped the rest of 
the day would be as uneventful. It was a useless wish, but someone had 
to ask, and it could just as well have been him.
	He couldn't have been more safe, as Akane had already donned her 
gi, and was taking the strain out on her hollow blocks. Her rhythm 
belied the concentration on the mantra as a focus, but telepathic 
inspection would reveal that the mantra was, in fact, "Ranma baka." 
After dishing out the last of her anger replaced with a warm glow of 
indignation, she felt herself go loose. Pepped up, she bounded up on the 
balls of her feet and started priming for a workout.
	The good thing about indignation is that the mind is clear to focus 
on the matter of a problem, without release of heat from the argument. 
The kata brought her body into a trance, which freed her mind to connect 
with the events of the day's destruction. Ranma was in the bath again, 
peeping on her. But there was something wrong with her recollection of 
his face in the fog-filled bath. It was ... wrong. As though there was 
something there he was hiding behind. Hiding behind what? Then he was 
peeping! But he was just sitting there, slightly sagging forward, facing 
her naked form. That pervert! Except, she couldn't shake the feeling 
that he wasn't exactly peeping. Or that it wasn't him. Or something.
	She finished her kata, then went straight out into the streets to 
jog a few miles. If she had just happened to turn right instead of left 
as she departed the house, she would have probably crossed paths with a 
confused looking pet of hers.
	Ryoga cursed his luck. He was sure that his disorientation with 
the apparent change of his sleeping area had blinded him to the straight 
and true path to the bathroom. He held his head low, for he was sure 
that it would take another week to return to the dojo. He held his path 
forward, and therefore was farther from the corner where the dojo was. A 
few blocks hence, he started to wonder whether to change back into human, 
before something unsavory happened to him. The next left he took brought 
him facing the Cat Cafe.
	Incredible forces had changed his luck, it seemed, so he entered 
through a window into the basement, so as to avoid the Amazons within.
	The aforementioned Amazons were, in fact, preparing the menu for 
the day, whilst the industriously conniving Shampoo was deciding what to 
feed her future husband. Cologne had let her go early, as it was summer, 
and that men tended to eat more frequently in the mornings, i.e. a chance 
to take the groom once and for all was presenting itself. Shampoo had 
picked a recipe which required, unfortunately, eggs. She sighed. Mousse 
had done all sorts of stupid things with the eggs, like stuff them with 
explosives and such, which gave her the right and privilege to beat the 
living daylights out of him. Plus, they were producing way too much 
pastry in her get-laid-quick schemes. Angrily, she sped away to purchase 
a few dozen at the nearby marketplace (which, she could protest, did not 
have fresh poultry shops anymore). Somewhere nearby, Mousse threw away 
the pages of recipes that did not require eggs, and went to help Cologne.
	Tsubasa held the fillers which held some decades of secret Amazon 
alchemy which concerned enchantments of the heart, with some doubt. He 
could not, and would not, force his beloved Ukyo to love him if it wasn't 
real. He would try, yet again, to let her see how she could learn to 
love him, but never, ever without her conscious consent. It would be too 
much like forcing himself upon her, and the thought would never cross his 
mind, normally.
	He threw the neatly inked Chinese texts, with the disgust of 
incomprehension, into a nearby (real) garbage can and then changed his 
disguise into one of a telephone pole. He was starting to run out of new 
and innovative disguises which he could use to get closer to the 
Ucchan's, but somehow, one weirdo or another would pass him by, and he'd 
have to assume an inanimate position, which would be normally abused, as 
property damage was particularly high in the area. He's been careful, 
then, to use one of the lesser passed routes. This one took a rather 
long swath of walk into the zoo.
	He successfully changed from the pole, to a signpost which read 
"Osaka this way", then into a statue of a horse, finally into a park 
bench, before entering the zoo. He quickly peeked. There were lots of 
people, especially children, in the crowd which formed a knot in the area 
near the gate. Wearing a bamboo shoot, he edged closer to the crowd, 
with hopes of leaving quite rapidly.
	Genma was grinning ear to ear, something he would not do normally. 
But he was having a hard time concealing his joviality. As a panda, he 
felt he could be his true self, free as the wind. Although he was 
getting hungry, he was starting to enjoy the various attentions the 
little squawking children were raining upon him. A little nervous pat 
here, some weak (but heartfelt) rappings on the other side, little tugs 
here and there, but all the laughter was becoming infectious. Just a few 
more moments, and the secret Saotome free-food-will-come philosophy would 
see justice. And with a turn of his head, he noticed the bamboo shoot 
approaching him. Gratefully thanking Kami-sama, he took it and bit off. 
	There is a heaven, he thought. But a rather surprising view of 
someone he didn't exactly want to see yet arrived, reminding him that 
heaven wasn't where he wanted to be going to quite yet.
	Nodoka passed by a weird-looking bamboo with an arm with the sleeve 
of a girl's dress sticking out from it. Some people were staring at it 
bug-eyed, but most of them just took it as nothing out of the ordinary. 
It must be some sort of street play or another unorthodox impromptu, 
which could explain the panda. Obviously, someone took care of building 
a fine panda suit, but the outstanding human traits of pantomimed fear 
were enough to show the skill in acting of whoever had donned the suit. 
Funny, though. This panda-suited actor seemed familiar. She shrugged. 
It was all that she couldn't distinguish between this obviously fake 
panda and Ranko's pet. She could swear that there was a connection, but 
the more pacifying edge of taking care of a martial arts family kicked 
in, and explanations would come, later if not sooner.
	She exited the zoo, hugging her groceries tightly. She remembered 
with some amusement the purple-haired foreigner (she had this funny 
accent) who practically blew up when she couldn't find any eggs. 
Apparently, she hadn't heard of the recent shortage due to the fear of 
poultry shop owners that the animals in Nerima had acquired something 
akin to the mad cow disease (insane sightings of animals duking it out 
with people and themselves), but with less discrimination (a pig, a cat, 
a panda and a duck were among others mentioned). So, live poultry had to 
be removed first, since they were used all over the district, and might 
spread this disease quicker than any other animal group. So eggs in 
Nerima will not return until the end of this summer. Nodoka was partly 
glad of her intuitive skills, which allowed her to stock a crate of eggs 
a few days before.
	She probably couldn't eat them all, she thought, passing by the 
restaurant district. She might visit the Tendos' sometime soon. She 
sighed. Maybe she might see her family. She walked on, just before a 
human Ryoga crossed confusedly into the yard of a mansion.
	He knew that the place was familiar somehow, but couldn't place it. 
He been here a couple of times already, but no idea of where he was 
popped up. This was close to the dojo, he was sure of it. Now who to 
ask.... He wandered off not quite sure if he was still within the 
grounds because he had seemingly stepped into a forest.
	Off in the branches, Sasuke giggled. Then he gave up and belted a 
full blast guffaw, with some chuckles and wheezy high-pitched nasal 
sounds for flavor. It was important, the master said, to laugh, in which 
he had taught all the servants to have a particular laugh. He had not 
spared the children either, thus a person could distinguish any member of 
the Kuno household from any other by way of their laughter. 
	It was perfect. He knew this one, who had been hounding mistress 
Akane, albeit from afar. He had often fought young Saotome (he spat, as 
a reflex taught to him by his current master) for her hand, and has, to 
date, not satisfactorily beaten him. To catch him upon the hallowed 
grounds of the Kuno estate was a sure sign of skullduggery and 
underhanded tactics, of which Sasuke would not become a party to by 
omitting his duty to his lord and liege.
	He haggled over which trap he could operate on the young trespasser 
could be the most appropriate for the intruder while switching places 
amongst the branches, keeping an eye on Ryoga. Impaling was out of 
style, and any chemicals would be criticized from technique to usage by 
mistress Kodachi, and any mistake would be intolerable. At the mention 
of her name, an idea struck, which he sought to implement by going ahead 
of his prey.
	Kuno was practicing the basic katas, while honing his wit by 
composing soliloquies on the often trivial bestiality of man succumbing 
to the tranquil nature of Venus's spring, only to rear its raging forces 
come summertime. It was while he was posing to practice glinting 
sunlight off of various molars, when he heard the branches of the nearby 
trees at his back rustle slightly. Nonchalantly, he turned and swung his 
bokken with the air pressure to hurl an unsuspecting Sasuke into the 
atmosphere. He had missed this spectacle by turning yet again, in order 
to contemplate the void which was his mind. He did this in total 
ignorance of the fact that Ryoga had crossed behind him, only to fall 
into Mr. Turtle's pool.
	The cloud which was on the way to wreak chaos upon the hallowed 
grounds of Kuno was turned about by the body of the manservant. 
Promising revenge, it went to find a regular customer, who had started 
this vicious water cycle.
	Kodachi on the other hand was on her way to the garden/laboratory 
on the other side of the forest. She spied her brother locked in another 
battle of wits with himself, which she feared he was losing. She heard 
some splashing and found that Mr. Turtle was playfully jumping up and 
down in the pond, as if in supplication for its owner's affections. "Not 
now, dear," was all Kodachi said, as she turned, entirely missing the 
little black piggie jumping not quite out of the jaws of death for dear 
life.
	She had found Sasuke napping in a tree in an awkward fashion and 
immediately berated him. He apologized profusely, and asked her if she 
had seen anyone suspicious in the premises. Since she had not noticed 
any, Sasuke wandered off to apprehend the hooligan, after borrowing some 
potions from his mistress. 	
	She turned on her heel to enter the greenhouse, noticing slightly 
that Mr. Turtle had just stopped its splashing about. On that note, she 
went to in to continue her latest project, while laughing a happy tune 
(in that distinctive way she does).
	Kuno had gravitated to the pond while his buggy of thought had 
drifted to sailing the high seas, as is his yen in the summers. Truly, 
he would have to invite the pig-tailed girl and Akane, to partake in the 
splendor of the blue deserts and to bask in his undying love. This was 
when he noticed two figures floating in the pool. The larger one was an 
alligator, and the smaller one was that of a piglet. Both were familiar 
as pets, the former of his wretched sister, and the other of the 
beauteous Akane, and in a state of unconscious akin to that after a 
fierce battle. Sensing an opening, he picked up P-chan, and asked Sasuke 
to get him two bouquets of roses from the greenhouse. Sasuke informed 
him that his intolerable sibling was about the area, which meant he had 
to go and get the flowers elsewhere. Grasping his bokken, he left Sasuke 
in pursuit of the missing unwanted visitor, and went to the nearest 
florist's shop.
	As he went in, he had not noticed that the objects of his affection 
had passed by. Upon his arrival at the dojo, he was informed that they 
were on the path to the chiropractor's clinic, and would he mind if he 
went in to wait for them to return? Kasumi was on the way there herself 
to return a book on acupuncture literature. Could he wait inside with 
father?

	The man sighed. Lunch was over, and the day looked grim. He would 
expect no better tomorrow, and knew he would be right. Anyway, in his 
case it was better to live for the past than the future, and so read an 
old newspaper he had acquired in the hopes of finding an adventure in the 
offing.