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* Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction *
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Switch: Herbs and Spices (Chapter 04 / 22) by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo
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Please do remember that Ranma 1/2 is a trademark and a copyright of and
by some big name people and companies I am not even worthy to introduce.
Anybody who says that I took any of their stuff better not find me
hiding. Also, great thanks to whoever reads this and likes it, good
thanks to whoever reads it anyhow, and teeny thanks to whoever saw this. 
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Day 1


 The Light on the Fourth Floor



	Nodoka was baking a set of cookies for her neighbors to eat as a 
gift for seeing the house for the time she'll be at the Tendos'. While 
waiting for the oven to signal her, she was reading up on her 
international news. Her index and pinkie fingers were twirling 
themselves upon a strand of loose bangs, and she noted that they had been 
starting to straighten again. She sighed. She would have to have her 
coif set again. No matter. There'll be time for that.
	The oven pinged for her attention, and she hurriedly extracted the 
latest batch of goodies, which she then put into a small tray. Counting 
pieces, she realized that she had planned to make a last batch of sugar 
tidbits for the children of her neighbor, which they loved co much. She 
moved to the crate she had hoarded in order to claim the half-dozen eggs 
she needed when she suddenly realized a peculiar thing: some eggs were 
missing.
	She was sure they had been there earlier, and that she hadn't used 
any unaccounted for. Maybe she had misplaced them. She absently took 
note of it for later investigation.

	Out in the rain which had suddenly fallen in sunny summer Nerima, 
two females ran drenched into an overhang. They began to systematically 
dry their hair as they waited for the sunshower to pass. Akane was 
trying very much not to get annoyed.
	"I knew I should have brought an umbrella," she said.
	Her companion shrugged. "Good one."
	She gave the redhead a cleaving look which prompted momentary 
silence. It didn't help any at all, and none would be the better. They 
both knew that. A silent drizzle began to trail. 
	She sighed to tilt her head skyward. It was a brilliant sunshower, 
where the sun's still out to catch each droplet in mid-air and give it a 
slightly crystalline look. She must have cocked her head to one side 
because Ranma-chan had sidled up ever so cautiously. She permitted 
herself a small smile before the sneeze caught her by surprise.
	A fit of déjà vu filled her when she felt the muscular arms of her 
fiancée embrace her form. A haze of red began to form, only to be 
stifled by the look on the smaller girl's face. She turned her gaze 
skyward once more to wonder when the rain will end, and as the arms 
cradled her waist to offer some of the warmth she needed, she hoped it 
wouldn't for some while, some while.
	
	Nabiki had gotten home just before the downpour, but she was still 
drenched. She caught Soun preparing bleary-eyed for a tragically delayed 
lunch. Leaving him almost in tears in the waiting room, she phoned for 
an order of six teriyakis on rice with the payment on delivery to the 
Tendo dojo. You know, the one near the high school, across the fenced 
walk near the river? Good.
	As soon as she had dropped the phone, Mr. Saotome entered rudely. 
	He looked left and right and saw Soun near tears. Knowing all too 
well that his friend would be beyond words at this point, he aimed his 
sign at the female.
	Where is he? he said.
	"If it's that son of yours you're looking for, he should be coming 
home from Dr. Tofu's. What's got you so riled?" she said, catching her 
breath.
	Nodoka's coming.
	Oh, so that would be it. She wasn't very surprised.
	"Then I'll just make sure that he finds out before any incidents 
can occur," she concluded, grabbing an umbrella. "He's probably changed 
for the situation already," indicating the weather.
	Thank you said the panda, setting himself upon the task of 
drawing his friend back to the living, not exactly realizing that he was 
slated to pay for their lunch today, as Nabiki left for her best sources 
of income.

	Finally, as sudden as it had appeared, it had passed.
	Ukyo had briefly left the customers to take care of the fallen 
teen. She brought him up to her waiting room upstairs. After she had 
set him up with a towel on his forehead, she felt necessary to close shop 
early. The people were audibly disgruntled, but mostly did not argue the 
assessment of the management. After quickly tidying up the stalls and 
the grill, she closed the doors and the windows, and went up to check on 
her charge.
	The sunshower had barely shown itself than it passed, giving Ukyo 
the mild assumption that there was peace in the world. But, in her mind, 
there was only turbulence and questions.
	She pulled out an electric fan to cool the passed-out wanderer. 
Then she started to undo his footwear. This latter maneuver 
unfortunately required that she partly undo his pants, which she did with 
little delay. She just hoped that he wasn't going to wake up on him just 
yet, because after what he's gone through, his poor little brain couldn't 
handle the attention, not to mention his overworked ego.
	For the moment though, introspection was required. So, on the 
couch nearby, she promptly, but properly, fell asleep.

	Shampoo did not exactly believe her luck.
	For one, the first eggs she had chanced upon belonged to her 
mother-in-law. She didn't actually believe that this in itself was a 
good thing. She knew that her husband-to-be was not showing himself to 
her yet, and it wasn't easy for him to do so. Neither was it easy on his 
mother, but it was the way it was. It was the type of thing that only he 
and his father could resolve, and so some deception was in order to 
acquire the needed foodstuff. After all, what's six eggs when she's 
ready to provide their bloodline with good and strong children? Surely 
any woman can appreciate that.
	Secondly, she couldn't find him. She saw only the stupid stick-boy 
and the mustached father of Akane. She was a bit annoyed to think that 
they could be together as they sometimes were, but she had checked the 
clinic and there was only the doctor acting funny, and Akane's nice 
sister. They couldn't be at the school. So she just kept jumping up and 
down with the food in a steam container when the rain passed by. She 
cursed the goddess of the rain with her poor timing when the oven jumped 
her.
	Tsubasa didn't exactly believe his luck, either. Here was some 
free food, with just a cat beside it. He was wondering where the nicely 
curved female he was following went, as he sort of lost her because it 
was hard to jump while wearing an oven, but this will do. He opened the 
grill door to gather the dumplings, not noticing that the cat was heating 
a kettle of water.
	Shampoo was sure that she was going to kill this girl. She was 
eating the love dumplings she was going to give her future groom, which 
she had to borrow eggs for. The pangs of defeat began to twitch her 
changing muscles. Frustration was starting to bubble as she began to 
wear the skimpy oriental dress she had brought along with the kettle, and 
was slightly glad that summer rains in Nerima only lasted seconds counted 
on two hands. 
	She slid gracefully to her opponent to establish the exchange of 
blows properly: with a kiss of death. Quickly was it done, so that 
bloodshed could occur, as this was mostly what was on her mind, beside 
the queerness of the opponent. So it totally took her off guard when her 
opponent stared at her with great big doe eyes.
	Tsubasa was stunned. There was this total knockout of a babe that 
was modeling some form of lingerie/swimsuit that was thinking of 
revealing enough of her to leave one in traction. And the first thing 
she did was kiss him! Not only was she a great body, but she had an eye 
and fashion sense to boot. He gratefully took her hand in his and asked 
politely, "what is your name?"
	The Amazon was wondering what had gone wrong. Her recipe was only 
supposed to make whoever ate the dumplings fall in love with the first 
member of the opposite sex he/she will encounter, no big deal. Kid's 
stuff, really. Something terrible had happened. "What you talking 
about?" She tried to move slightly out of range of the range.
	The girl just moved with her, never losing her grip on the warrior-
maiden's hand. "But, my beauteous silk-skinned one..."
	This was something Shampoo had to refer to her great-grandmother. 
"So sorry, must be going," she muttered and flew into the air.
	Not to be outdone, Tsubasa followed once more.

	Nabiki had used the excuse to leave the house once more in order to 
set the matters of the rather extreme events of the morning into clearer 
focus. She passed by the park to check if her contact was there, and, 
sure enough, there he was.
	He was entirely nondescript. Nothing could be said about his 
features, save for the fact that there was nothing out of the ordinary. 
She stood near the bench he was sitting on and said, "it was there."
	He stood up. She had the most distinct feeling that the 
conversation, like all conversations they had, were completely under his 
control. "So it was." He looked her in the eye. "You did do as I 
asked, should the money be there."
	At that, she blushed ever so lightly. "Yes."
	He slightly sagged, as if the news served to depress him instead of 
elate him. "You'd like to know what you did that for."
	Again, she nodded.
	He sighed inwardly. "You've been doing some of the reverse 
engineering. You should be able to find out what would happen."
	Nabiki said, "I've gotten the two together."
	He nodded.
	Nabiki was about to ask, but his hand silenced her. "It is 
important that they get together now, instead of later."
	She could only ask, "But why do they need to get together now?"
	He only looked at her askingly, as if to pose the same question to 
her, leaving Nabiki to ponder the possibilities she could have not 
considered.

	The two left for their destination in silence. It was just a small 
game they had, to figure out who would break this fragile mood, and how 
long this comfortably warm non-verbal interaction would last. They 
actually made it to the road which leads straight to the dojo grounds 
before anyone dared to speak.
	"I'm hungry."
	Ranma-chan immediately considered the effects of having said I'm 
hungry at this point in time. He had quickly ditched the okonomiyaki 
through the ever efficient Saotome digestive system, and now he regretted 
it. But he had to hide it from Akane. It would have precluded their 
slightly weak moment earlier.
	But whenever Ranma would mention his need for sustenance, he felt 
he would immediately be assaulted by the fawnings of one or (usually) 
more of his fiancées would jump at the chance to outdo all the others, 
claiming that this would be the ultimate proof that she was the one for 
him.
	It was usually either martial arts or cooking in which the four 
would fight over him for. He was having slight problems accepting that, 
even though she was greatly lost in either compared to the others, he 
still chose Akane. It wasn't the practical choice, nor was it actually 
the wise choice. He just knew somewhere deep down that it was the right 
choice.
	Now how was that for sappy? He stared at the one he cared for.
	What would happen if he had lost her? He wouldn't know. He tried 
not to think about it, as often as it almost happens. He admitted to 
himself that he didn't want to know.
	He felt a kinship to her. She was his, and he hers, and there was 
nothing that could shake him from that. Not Mikado. Not Ryoga. Not 
Shinnosuke. Not even Kuno. Not his other fiancées. And definitely not 
Kodachi.
	He honestly did not know what to do without her by his side.
	If only they could see that together.
	He just waited for the reaction his statement evinced.
	
	Akane pursed her lips as they walked the damp road. She dared not 
to speak, for fear of words which could bind them, words which could tear 
them at each other. It always came to these, words. Little nothings in 
all senses of the word. What would happen to words if you hear them 
backwards? They lose meaning. How can we go on like this? She stole a 
glance at the pretty face which held her at a loss at times.
	What kind of poetry could the old masters write which could involve 
us without gender? The tomboy and the half-boy/half-girl. Not a he nor 
a she, but a you and an I. We were meant to come together now, here. 
The real and the mystic. Like some uncommon sort of soulmate, the 
complement of the other, yet reflecting one another.
	She wondered slightly. She was romantically thinking about him. 
It was delicious irony, but it was too dear to her for her to dismiss. 
He was always there for her, even though she felt... undeserving. He 
would never leave her. 
	But, how would life be if he was here with her, forever? After all 
those times when trouble would lead to him. Could they be able to stick 
it through? With all these people keeping them apart, and pushing them 
together. They were just fighting all external forces. How did he 
really feel? How did she really feel?
	Would it be the right thing to happen?
	Would there be the right words to say?
	She closed her eyes to hear his voice.
	"I'm hungry."

	The man woke up again, with his head ringing. The way the light 
crept into the room told him that it was very close to lunchtime, and 
that it will rain very recently. He blinked a bit, then breathed in 
deeply.
	He stood up to the window, then closed the blinds. He then went to 
the light switch, to get a handhold on the amount of light at least.
	Nothing.
	He groaned. The switch was busted, he forgot. Stupid, stupid.
	Wheedling to the window, he slid the venetians slightly, so as to 
provide just the amount of light needed. He remembered to keep tabs on 
the date, and today was the day he was supposed to meet with Nabiki. 
Another groan. He won't make it if he didn't hurry up.
	He's just glad he won't get caught in the rain. Nerima always had 
rain.

	Shampoo didn't exactly know where to run. This girl was more 
trouble than she was worth. Whenever she would try to turn around to 
assail the overeager poseur, she'd have gone into a different guise. 
Then, when she thought she was safe, the girl would jump out of a nearby 
tree or garbage can. This was starting to stink, too.
	Down the road she barreled at cheetah speed. Luckily no one was 
near enough to be barreled down, or else they'd grab a hefty helping of 
Chinese. She thought of going down the road, when she realized that this 
was where the Tendo dojo was. She almost was able to pass by the fence 
when a fire hydrant slammed into her. They fell into the river.
	How predictable, they thought, oblivious to the commotion for the 
moment. Akane and Ranma-chan heard and saw the splash of water, as they 
had been on the self-same road. They quickly ran to the action, which 
had started building a chokepoint on the path.
	At the scene, they saw Tsubasa (in a ruined fire hydrant costume) 
holding an oriental dress of sorts. He was crying, "she's naked! I must 
clothe her before anyone can defile her body with lascivious glances," 
and ran through the other side of the road.
	This scene flew through Ranma's brain (with only the mild essence 
of: Tsubasa seems to talk like Kuno now, is he dressing up Chinese, 
too?), as Akane quickly summed up the logical course of action: "Let's 
go, Ranma."
	This, of course, was due to the pinkish cat she held in her arms, 
screeching and scratching. She, of course, kept this from her 
houseguest's (or is it, housepest?) eyes and ears.
	Not too successfully, though. "What was that?"
	Akane feigned ignorance. "What was what?"
	Ranma-chan cocked her head. "Nothing. I just thought it was..."
	Akane took the phrase. "Nothing."
	Ranma-chan glanced at her. It could have gone well, too.
	They just went ahead, the girl in red on the fence, and the girl 
with the cat slightly behind. She whispered, "we'll talk about this 
later, Shampoo." The pink cat just made a tiny screech, and continued to 
protest.

	 Mousse woke up. He opened his eyes. Nothing. A muttered curse 
that ended up as a sound like that of a crumpled clarinet confirmed the 
worst: he was, in fact, a duck. He sometimes wished that he had some 
sort of fastening for his glasses like that of Mr. Saotome, so that they 
wouldn't sneak up and away from him.
	He tried standing, but his wings were kept where they were by some 
unseen force. He felt sure of only a few things: someone was planning 
to cook him, and it wasn't either Shampoo or Cologne.
	The latter meant mainly that this was no dream. He was sure of it 
because he could hear the slashing motions made by the butcher's knife 
being tested for sharpness. Most Chinese recipes he knew the Amazons 
used involved using unprepared meat and fowl. No, this chef was planning 
to chop his head off before dressing him. 
	No, this was not the way a good day would be going.

	"What did you say, Saotome?" Soun bellowed to the panda practicing 
looking innocent while playing with a beach ball.
	The panda fished around for something. He withdrew the sign which 
said "Nodoka's coming", and flashed it at his host.
	In turn, Tendo bugged his eyes out. Much as Nodoka was a welcome 
guest, lately, it never brought any good out of the house. Or in it, for 
any matter. "When?"
	Don'know was the reply.
	Soun started to show large veins on his forehead while speaking. 
"So you're planning to take your son with you on a training trip, just to 
avoid the heat, knowing very well that the Master could strike at any 
point?"
	At that, the panda quickly hid the backpack he had recovered for 
his cursed family members. Now, that you think about it...
	Tendo sat cross-legged looking at the panda. "And until then, 
you'll just be doing that, eh?"
	The panda nodded, returning to rocking a tire.
	He also nearly avoided a few neatly thrown tables.
	When the delivery man arrived, Soun left the unconscious "bear" 
floating face-down in the pond, betwixt strewn table entrails.

	Sasuke was really glad that he had snooped on the Amazons earlier. 
	It's been a while since he's cooked Peking duck, that he really 
wasn't sure that he was going to do it right. But, oh joy of joys! Here 
he was with a duck he just picked up on the street in the marketplace on 
the way back. The duck was high-quality meat, with good stuffing. It 
was kind of heavy as well, too heavy for a mere duck, which made him kind 
of wonder. What was kind of weird, though, was when he picked the 
waterfowl up, it was wearing a set of glasses. At least, that was what 
it looked like. He kept the latter for later inspection. (a ninja 
doesn't just return objects picked up, they have to check it, you know?)
	He was playing with a butcher's knife. He could remember someone 
warning him not to play with sharp objects, but being in the servitude of 
the Kunos, it was unavoidable. There would be times when he would have 
to clean a set of hoops which had dulled due to hitting posts in 
gymnastic rings, or sets of grass-cutters (with black-tinted clippings) 
or razors. A butcher's knife was one of the more safe things he's 
handled recently.
	He was also swinging it in mid-air, making slicing motions. That 
was the traditionally martial-arts way of testing snappiness and 
sharpness, if there was a whoosh of air filling in a vacuum, or a sharp 
hiss. Why, in China, they'd test the sharpness of their weapons by 
simply slicing through the air, as the air over there was hard enough to 
sink your teeth into.
	Smirking, he chopped at the head of the duck.

	The man woke up. He tried to flick on the light, as the blinds 
were drawn. He flipped it on.
	Nothing.
	Oh well, that would explain the new bulb yesterday.
	He drew the blinds open. The streets were only slightly damp.
	He yawned.
	He rolled up into bed.