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* Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction *
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Switch: Herbs and Spices (Chapter 05 / 22) by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo
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Please do remember that Ranma 1/2 is a trademark and a copyright of and
by some big name people and companies I am not even worthy to introduce.
Anybody who says that I took any of their stuff better not find me
hiding. Also, great thanks to whoever reads this and likes it, good
thanks to whoever reads it anyhow, and teeny thanks to whoever saw this. 
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Day 1


 Five to Nine



	Kasumi folded and put down the apron she had borrowed for the 
doctor and sat on one of the beds. That doctor! She chuckled to 
herself. Although he had put on this horrendously funny act, he had left 
rather hastily with his skeleton Betty. It was rather nice of him to 
entertain her, when she was only here to return a book. (but wasn't this 
what happened every time?) She had already picked out the book she 
wanted to borrow (an old tome on the virtues of herbs as practical gift 
items), but still, Dr. Tofu hadn't come back. She was worried that he 
would be gone for quite a while, and she had to cook lunch. Poor father. 
He'd be worried sick. Maybe I should call home? Yes, that would be the 
proper thing to do.
	Kasumi tried to call home, but the phone was uncharacteristically 
busy. After three tries, she hung up. Maybe I'll call a bit later.
	The motherly Tendo went back into the reception room of the clinic 
to read the book she had borrowed. I'll just wait for the good doctor. 
It was there that she saw the letters scattered on the table. "What's 
this?" she asked openly. Since she had cleaned the clinic, she would 
fix this up a bit, too. She almost whistled a happy tune, while absently 
filing away the unopened letters and subscription forms. She glanced at 
a few of them, and was almost done when a sheet of folded paper fell. 
She had settled the rest on a cabinet in the inner room when she picked 
it up. Not meaning to pry, she noted that the letter was for his mother. 
She smiled slightly at that. Such a lively woman she was. It shows of 
good health and vitality.
	She put that atop of the rest, and returned to her book.

	Cologne was busy filling in orders at the Cat Cafe when some sort 
of ruckus could be heard above the din. As it came from the outside, 
several of the diners were peering through the windows. But almost 
immediately, they returned to their seats, and returned to their usual 
state of chaos.
	She grunted. So, Kasumi Tendo was cleaning up at the young 
acupuncturist's clinic again, eh? Shampoo must already be on the way to 
the groom's lunch table. Things are definitely looking up. Too bad that 
Mousse seems to have gallivanted looking for the girl. If it wasn't 
lunch time, I'd have knocked him silly. As it is, though, I'm sure that 
the two won't have too much trouble.
	
	There.
	Mousse thrust the left wing at the butcher's knife, confident that 
his aim would be dead-on. 
	Sasuke opened his eyes. Instead of finding a headless duck, he 
just saw that his hands were no longer on the knife. After a moment's 
searching determined that it had in fact imbedded itself onto the ceiling 
of the kitchen, he began to wonder. He must be using too much force, and 
had let go of the knife before impact. If he could just stop from 
blinking whenever he swings the stupid thing...
	Mousse started to fuss in his awkward position, looking for a 
suitable tool to use in this predicament. He had to keep calm in order 
to use his other senses, and being hounded with a butcher's knife while 
tied up was not the most calming of situations. He had almost gotten his 
left wing out when the ninja had returned from the roof.
	Most interesting, Sasuke said to himself. The menu was giving a 
chase. So be it! he thought, as he was used to fighting in the most 
unusual of venues against the most ridiculous of opponents. This would 
most certainly qualify.
	He had leapt into the air and was heaving the blade mercilessly 
toward the fowl, shouting a battle cry (which, as could be added, is not 
what your everyday ninja would do), and, as a result, got him a mouthful 
of explosive eggs. He fell down as MuMu-chan righted himself, shaking 
off flecks of wood and eggshells.

	Kuno stood at the dining table in the estate. He waited as 
patiently as he could. But he could not take any more of this insolence. 
"Sasuke!" he bellowed, temerity brimming. He was kind of hungry, and a 
true warrior does not keep himself hungry. If only such fools around him 
would realize and submit willingly. 

	Ranma-chan and Akane were about to go in when Nabiki met them. 
They entered the gate when the phone rang. Inside, they could here the 
baritone of Soun Tendo responding to an unknown dialogue.
	The redhead was greeted by a bellowed, "so, how did it go with the 
doctor?" The raven-haired one answered, "he was able to stop the hair 
growth." Soun was just nodding.
	He said, "that was Kasumi. She said she'd be waiting for Dr. Tofu 
in the clinic. Have any of you seen him?"
	Ranma-chan and Akane stared at each other. The some-time pig-
tailed goddess said, "try the park," and went into the dining room.
	It had caught the young martial artists' noses that there was 
already hot food on the table. Since their young cook was not around, it 
was decided that someone had ordered for delivery and that it had been 
reheated. To whoever that was, Ranma could not give enough thanks. He 
could only avoid grinning because his nominal fiancée was at his side.
	At once, the two who came from the clinic ate. They were joined 
soon after by the middle Tendo sister sans umbrella. They ate in 
somewhat silence, which Ranma soon broke by announcing that he was to 
take a bath again (making it his fourth). The siblings merely took the 
utensils and bowls to clean. 
	For a while, only the grunting sounds of a panda at play were 
heard.

	Shampoo didn't exactly wait where she was. Having to stay here 
while her husband was taking a bath was no fun, but, admittedly, having 
him pass out in hideous fear was another. It, well, just didn't suit 
him.
	She waited where she was when Akane arrived with a kettle of hot 
water, a towel and a dress of sorts. She was going to be civil as long 
as it was getting her something, and for now, it's simply shelter.
	Akane started, "what were you doing with Tsubasa?"
	Shampoo stared at her, wondering if this was the first time that 
only they were together, and not at each other's throats. And, if it 
was, why. "You know crazy girl, Akane?"
	They didn't meet before, of course. "Tsubasa is a guy. But I 
thought he was after Ukyo."
	"This Tsubasa is guy? Oh." She hit a hand with the other. So it 
wasn't wrong after all.
	At this point, Akane was openly wondering why that dress didn't 
look quite comfortable with Shampoo in it. She realized that it was 
because it was just a bit too tight around some areas. She slightly 
flinched at the thought. "What? Why is he after you, Shampoo?"
	"Maybe Shampoo have something Ukyo don't," she cryptically said.
	Cryptic doesn't do Shampoo well. Akane was close to asking again 
when Shampoo stood up. "I go now." And with that she left for the roof. 
	As Akane, too, stood, Shampoo peered from above. "I return dress 
later." Then she fled.

	Dr. Tofu was busy retracing his steps. Having gotten to the other 
end of the district on foot was no easy task, and something he had to 
redo soon. He was still grinning ear to ear, though.
	Not wanting to remove Betty from her piggyback position, he trudged 
quickly down the path to the clinic.

	Kuno had had his lunch, but had to get it from Sasuke after he had 
been revived. Evidently, he had been trying something with eggs that did 
not do well. 
	He was on his way to the open court in order to practice some katas 
and hone his eloquence when he had chanced upon a duck. The duck acted 
like it was a bit drunk, swaying about and bumping into posts and such. 
He picked up the fowl and placed it into Mr. Turtle's pond. It was 
probably past his lunchtime.
	Kuno left the pond amidst the sounds of the second battle there in 
hours for his afternoon fancy.

	A cherry blossom festival was being held in Tokyo. Among the pink 
and brown background, one could not notice a diminutive, venerably aged 
man carrying an ice box. He trudged along unnoticed, sadly noting the 
presence of kimonos and fineries which hid the true wonders of the human 
body. Had to wait until the summer. He came and left.

	Cologne was not surprised to see Shampoo in a school uniform. The 
traditional white and green-blue ensemble was a regular enough sight at 
the diner. She quickly discarded this in search for some flimsier 
clothing.
	"Granddaughter, where have you been?"
	Fitting herself into a short-sleeved affair she said, "at Ranma's."
	Cologne knew that that answer didn't add any to her confidence in 
her descendant's abilities in the marital arts. "Where is that bird-
brain Mousse?"
	The younger Amazon replied, "don't know, great-grandmother."
	She hopped on her staff a bit, leaving the ramen in the wok. "The 
numskull was just supposed to buy me some pork and potatoes. Where could 
he have gotten off to?"
	Shampoo was only minutely vexed by the concern the elder had. "Why 
great-grandmother worry about Mousse?"
	"I just don't want to be left out on the information, child. He 
could be plotting something right this minute."
	Shampoo only smirked. "I no worry. Ranma ready for anything."
	"Oh, I'm sure son-in-law would, child," she said as she went back 
to her cooking.

	Kodachi woke up on the floor of her lab. Strewn about the doors, 
several househands were lying unconscious. She stood up and dusted 
herself with her gloves. She then went to the sink and washed off the 
grime from her face. That was one formula she'd have to test again. Who 
would imagine that a love potion would have paralytic properties? It was 
probably used to succumb the target for more amorous purposes, not 
necessarily of the target's liking. It could prove useful.
	It was, in fact, when she was planning to cook up a larger batch of 
this particular recipe when she heard the fight.

	Nodoka was about cleaning the yard of the house when she had seen 
the unusual sight of a young man with a skeleton on his back. He was 
definitely a martial artist of skill: not only was he moving at an 
exhilarating pace, he was doing this without upsetting the dust that she 
was gathering into a pile, nor with a sound. Not recognizing the style 
of martial arts which practices that particular style, she went back to 
her sweeping.

	The man shifted unnaturally in his sleep.

	It was when Ranma was taking his fourth bath when he started to 
relax, again in tune with his own body. He hated not having complete 
control over his body; a martial artist keeps it upon himself to 
harmonize body and mind, in order to perfectly coordinate and adapt. It 
couldn't do good just to know how to use an attack or a defense, but 
when.
	As he sank in the pool, he would remember to keep these hot baths 
to a minimum, as there was only so much that their overworked heater 
could stand. He would probably have to take more cold baths, as his 
mother was expected to return. He had gathered as much without being 
told by Nabiki: his father was so transparent you could see him inside 
that panda suit.
	He tensed slightly at the twists fate had thrown him in. Having 
girls chase him wasn't exactly new, as he wasn't exactly unpopular in his 
youth. It's just that he never saw females as anything more than just 
different people, with all the same problems that come with being human. 
He slightly blanched at the fact that having not exactly the same body 
parts caused their own problems. That's probably why he and Ukyo were 
having problems now: He still saw her as the friend he left and met 
again, because that's who she was. He... couldn't respond. He wasn't on 
the same wavelength.
	But being a girl was another matter. He had to keep himself from 
revealing their curse to his mother, the one woman who had meant to him 
all that time they were on the road. And the cat-fist technique, which 
gained full control of his sensibilities. He somehow lost more of his 
life to fate. 
	He scrubbed down to dress up to continue their shared vigil.

	Mousse felt that he had to get away. Just because.
	He was kind of sure that he didn't want to go into the maw-like 
thing with rather sharp teeth attached to it that seemed to bear itself 
upon him. 
	Also, he could hear and feel a certain amount of jostling, 
amounting to the cavalry. Not very good odds, but he's been in worse.
	First, the Abyss. A few well-placed eggs would do fine, but the 
finesse would be lost. Replace with a well-placed bo, and we're in 
business. 
	What would do fine would be to get the hell out of here. Simply 
flight with duck wings wasn't going to get him through much, as he 
couldn't exactly see where he was going. He kept his spare sets of 
spectacles out of his cache of weaponry, as glass tends to break within 
the confines of sharp and deadly instruments. No, guided telemetry was 
needed.
	Upward, he threw a grappling hook attached to strong wire. Feeling 
for the bob, he held on to the largish metal ball attached to the end of 
the wire. Knowing full well that the physics of it would hold, he 
followed the path of the grappling hook as followed by the bob. 
Incidentally, the grappling hook went over a wall, and thus the Kuno 
servants watched the duck (that stuck a wooden staff across the 
mistress's pet alligator's mouth rather well) hang on to the ball of 
metal into the springs of the Kuno mansion. They knew better than to 
touch the reptile, they filed instead into the other end of the mansion, 
as this was the only path into the Jacuzzi of the manor. As they did 
this, they passed by the greenhouse, which had been cleared of the 
dreadful stuff the mistress had been brewing. 

	Ryoga noticed the afternoon sun peeking through the window, as it 
directly flashed into his face, waking him. He had a damp (and cold) 
cloth on his forehead, which wasn't quite enough to turn him into a pig. 
He discarded this, and tried to assess his current situation.
	He was in someone's bedroom. He hoped it wasn't Akane's. It 
wouldn't exactly be good to have her come in on him in his current state 
of (somewhat) undress. He slipped on his sandals and fastened his pants, 
as he was getting the heck out of wherever he was. He reckoned he was 
where he was earlier this day, when he thought that he was at the 
Tendos'. But how or why he ended up here was a mystery. Nothing that 
should actually bother him, though.
	He noticed an assortment of pictures of a family set on a side 
cabinet. He couldn't identify much in the faded photos except for a 
vehicle of sorts which was always there with the family. He went past 
this unto the window pane, to open it further.
	It wasn't as though he could recognize where he was through 
landmarks. His last count ended him somewhere in the sixth floor of the 
Diet building, so that was of no help. 
	His ever-reliable reflexes alerted him to some movement. He 
quickly turned towards the source: a couch near the mat he was lying on. 
As slowly as he could, he inched closer and closer to the furniture.
	As he peeked over the top, he had the unfortunate experience of 
losing blood for the third time in the day, unconsciousness mercifully 
claiming him.

	Kodachi was quick to note that the duck had its trajectory vectored 
to the hot springs. It was lucky to note that no one was using them at 
the time. Not that she'd care. If that duck had only thrown it 
arbitrarily in the exact opposite direction that it did, it would have 
left the premises. The unforgivable creature had harmed her pet, and she 
would make sure to give it the full treatment. There was something 
itching in the middle of her head (which would make it the back of her 
brain) about the waterfowl, but it was naught of any consequence.
	She leapt unto the wall that separated the baths from the forest in 
time to see the bird rush headlong into the nearest pool. She allowed 
herself a slight smirk in appraising the advantage in her position.
	No mere bird will make a mockery of Kodachi Kuno, or her pet.
	No mere bird will survive. Even if it is just a bird.
	She jumped down, almost exactly into the arms of a young man she 
hadn't seen there.
	Mousse was now human, he could tell: the water was warm enough for 
bathhouses. He rose in the robes he had brought with him for such 
occasions, and ascended, reclaiming the hook-and-ball. If anybody had 
been noticing, his figure silhouetted against the steam, encloaked as he 
was, seemed like the ascension of an angel of mercy.
	Which was what Kodachi was thinking.
	She fell on the tips of her feet, as any gymnast would be able to 
do with minimal discomfort. Bringing her hands to her face, she tried to 
discern the features of the man she fell in love with immediately. 
Through long tresses of hair, his blue eyes fell upon her vulnerable and 
frail frame, as though to caress it. Truth to tell, Mousse couldn't tell 
a telephone pole from his darling Shampoo from two paces away normally, 
so Kodachi being just beyond two meters in the foggy environment could 
not exactly have been caressed by sight. It also didn't matter.
	She took no time at all to glomp onto the stranger.

	Nerima sighed.
	The sun was beginning to leave its lazy arc, into the quicker yet 
equally lethargic drop into the horizon. Things become such during the 
summer days here. Another uneventful day was wrapping itself up, 
preparing to throw itself into the ditch history prepared entirely for 
days like these.
	And night was to surround, bringing the peace that the dark takes 
away to far regions of the world.