Christmas Magic -
Ginny rolled onto her side and snuggled down into the warmth of her bedding. Her senses told her that it was morning, but she wanted nothing more than to go back into peaceful slumber. Just as she began to drift off once more, she heard a deep sigh and the quiet creak of wood. Ginny slowly opened her eyes; the first thing to come into focus was Harry, fast asleep in a chair beside her bed. She slid her hand beneath her cheek and studied him. His head was tilted towards his shoulder with his arms crossed and his legs stretched out before him, one ankle crossed over the other.
What Harry had done for her the night before touched Ginny in such a way, she didn't know if she would ever be able to thank him. He never once questioned her, never tried to pry for answers to what had happened. Unlike several members of her well meaning family. It was as if he knew and understood. In the end, he had simply held her. She never expected to find him there come morning. Ginny glanced to the floor and found the broken latch of the door, her brows knitted in puzzlement, trying to figure what was amiss. Her eyes wandered back to the man sitting before her. It took a moment for Ginny to fully realize that Harry was awake and staring at her. Harry smiled tiredly and stretched.
"Happy Christmas, Ginny."
She had completely forgotten it was Christmas day.
"Happy Christmas Harry," she replied, smiling back at him.
Harry stood, stretching once more and rubbed the back of his neck before he returned the chair from where he had got it the night before. Ginny's eyes went back to the door of her room. She sat up slightly; pulling the covers over her shoulder to stave off the early morning chill, the fog within her sleep filled brain began to clear.
"Harry?" said Ginny, sitting up further, her hair fell over her shoulder as she stared at the door.
"Yeah?" Harry answered over his shoulder, pushing the chair back in place.
"Exactly how did you get up the stairs?" Ginny asked.
"Oh, that. . . ." said Harry, walking over to the door. He pulled his wand from his pocket, with a wave and the word Reparo, the door was whole once more. "I suppose when the need is great enough," he said with a shrug, "you sort of find a way."
"Meaning?" asked Ginny, tucking Clark against her side after he jumped over her shoulder and rubbed his cheek against her.
"Meaning, I found a way," answered Harry, checking the door once more before straightening. He turned to face her, his hand still on the newly repaired latch.
"You mean you're not going to tell me?" said Ginny, more curious now than anything as to how Harry had gotten past the loud alarms and sliding stairs.
"I'm going to go change, I'll see you downstairs."
"But Harry, how ---" Ginny asked as Harry walked out of her room, closing the door behind him.
Ginny scurried out of the bed, snaring herself on her bed sheets as she heard Harry's muffled voice cast a spell from beyond the old door.
"Dammit!" She threw the covers aside and hurried to the door; Ginny jerked it open and looked out. Away from the landing of her dorm lead the spiral staircase, smooth as a slide, but no alarm sounded. Faintly, a sparkle of white from Harry's spell still remained in the air as it faded away. Ginny's lips parted and she stared down in wonderment; from below she heard a quiet thud, indicating that Harry had reached the junction where the set of stairs split. "I'll figure it out Potter!" Ginny called down the stairwell.
"You do that!" was the chuckling response that echoed back to her.
Ginny arrived in the common room to find a decorated tree bright with twinkling white candles, red orbs and golden tinsel, tucked in a corner with several colorful packages beneath it. Harry sat at the table, once again spread with breakfast foods, pouring a cup of tea; he watched Ginny closely as she made her way to the table and took her seat.
"Going to tell me how you did that trick?" Ginny asked, reaching for a scone.
Harry grinned, taking a bite of toast.
Ginny gave a mock scowl and placed the scone on her plate. She watched Harry glance over to the stairwell, his expression sobering as he chewed thoughtfully. Ginny averted her eyes, not wanting to think of what was going through Harry's mind. She poured herself a cup of tea and lapsed into silence. The aura of the room grew increasingly solemn with each minute that passed as they ate their breakfast. Occasionally she'd glance up to find Harry silently studying her. Ginny began to feel uncomfortable beneath his gaze; she tried her best to avoid it by concentrating on the flickering candles of the Christmas tree.
"Ginny, do you want to tell me about last night?"
Ginny's hand froze in the middle of reaching for a glass of juice; she swallowed the remaining bite of food in her mouth that went down like a dry lump. She quickly looked up at him and then away again.
"I'd rather not," she said, sitting back in her chair and taking a sip of juice.
Leaning forward, Harry caught Ginny's gaze and forced her to stare back at him.
"Something serious happened last night; I'd like you to tell me about it."
"I said, I'd rather not," said Ginny, becoming agitated. The feeling of being cornered was one she didn't enjoy.
"I—I understand having nightmares," he said with a slight shrug. He glanced down at his hands. "I thought . . . I could help." Harry offered.
Ginny clenched her jaw, gripping the napkin on her lap.
"Ginny has this happened before?" Harry pressed on.
Ginny had had enough. She abruptly stood and threw her napkin on the table.
"Dammit, Harry, I said I don't want to talk about it!"
Harry sat back in his chair, looking surprised.
"Ok Ginny, if you do change your mind, I'm here," said Harry. The hurt, from her rejection, was clear in his voice.
Ginny's stomach clenched and she had to hold back the desire to tell him everything, to simply blurt out all he ever wanted to know, anything -- if only to get rid of that look of hurt. But, she knew it was better that she didn't, it would only add to his mounting worries. Harry already had an unbelievable amount to deal with on his own, far too much for the short amount of time he'd been on this earth; he didn't need her troubles as well.
Ginny closed her eyes and slowly inhaled; opening them again, she exhaled. Harry reached out and fidgeted with his fork. She glanced over at the Christmas tree in the corner, the presents beneath it yet to be touched.
"Let's go see if any of those packages have our names on them," said Ginny, looking down at Harry.
He glanced up at her, stubborn determination apparent on his face. Ginny had the feeling he wasn't going to give up that easily, but Harry nodded and dropped his fork back on the table, seeming to put their conversation aside for the time being.
Childlike excitement took Ginny over as Harry handed several package to her from beneath the tree. She wasted no time in tearing open her many presents from her family and friends, smiling broadly at the wonderful gifts she received. With wrapping paper strewn about and packages laid open at their feet, Harry and Ginny talked about the nice presents they had received while sharing one of the many chocolate frogs Ron had given them.
Ginny sat back in a worn armchair, chewing on a chocolate frog leg and glanced down at the moving picture of Artemisia Lufkin on the chocolate frog card. She reached up and gripped her pendant, stroking the smooth stones with her thumb. Harry looked over at her from his island of wrapping paper and boxes and glanced at the Christmas tree.
"You forgot one," said Harry, getting up to retrieve a rectangle box that had been hidden in the back of the tree.
Ginny gave him a questioning look and took the box; she lifted up the edges of the large golden bow but failed to find a card. Harry watched her closely from his chair as she carefully took off the lid. Ginny set the top aside and folded back the tissue paper to reveal a beautifully pale, silken material that shimmered in a rainbow of color in the fire-light. Lifting the material out of the box she quickly realized it was a fine cloak. Ginny gasped, standing and raising the cloak high to examine. She hugged it to her chest, searching the inside of the box for a card.
"I can't find who this is from," she said, searching the box once more for the elusive card; out of the corner of her eye she caught Harry slightly jerk his chin upwards, indicating towards the cloak. "It's just so beautiful," she muttered, turning the cloak over once more. A small label on the inside of the collar caught her eye.
To Lily, with all my love, James
Ginny took a sharp and ragged breath, tears instantly blurring her vision. She sank slowly into her chair, staring at the cloak's label.
"It was my mum's," Harry said softly, staring down at his hands before fixing her with his gaze. "I thought -- I wanted you to have it."
Ginny's heart shattered that very moment. The gift it was too much, such an unbelievably precious item. The pressure on her chest was unbearable. How could she possibly accept something that had to mean so much to him? Ginny's mind rang with confusion and pain. The need to escape was overpowering. She couldn't pretend anymore. She knew that feeble promise she made to herself was never going to work, and she couldn't take it any longer.
"I can't do this," she said jumping up from her seat. Harry stood, grabbing her wrist as she tried to leave.
"Do what?" Harry demanded.
"Do this!" Ginny cried, looking around the common room, "I can't take it Harry!"
Harry looked bemused, glancing around the common room and back to her. "I don't understand."
Ginny's chest convulsed as she choked on a bitter laugh though her tears. "Can't you see? . . . You're breaking my heart, Harry."
Harry's grip tightened on her wrist but Ginny wretched it from his grasp.
"I can't continue to do this, it hurts too much!" Ginny began to laugh, a sardonic and grief filled laugh, through her sobs.
She took a few steps backwards and stumbled. Harry reached out but Ginny sobered and put a stop to him by putting her hand up.
"Don't, please, just don't . . . Have you any idea what it does to me when you touch me?" She was beyond the point of caring if Harry knew her every secret feelings; it was like a healing balm against her tortured emotions to finally get it all out. "My heart leaps from the mere brush of your hand against me. Your voice it -- it gives me chills. I look into your eyes and I simply . . . I simply lose all track of space and time."
Harry stood rooted to spot, his hand still slightly raised where he had reached for her again. His face was a mask that she couldn't read, but still she pressed on. Now that her dam had broken, she couldn't stop the flow of words coming from her mouth.
"You have me so I don't know if I'm coming or going, do you realize that?" Ginny's voice rose louder. "One minute, I -- I think you're going to kiss me, the next -- you're treating me like I'm a part of the scenery! You hold me as if you fear to let me go, then you turn and walk away as if you feel nothing." Ginny savagely wiped the tears from her face. "I can't handle you caressing me, I can't handle you holding me, and I can't handle you being so near me . . . only a casual friend." She felt herself nearing hysterics, but couldn't stop if she'd tried. "I can't accept such a precious gifts . . . I can't do this. . . ." Ginny looked at Harry, shaking with raw emotion.
"Do you even know what you want Harry?"
Harry merely stood by silently, his jaw clenched.
Ginny's pressed hands to her chest through the fabric of the cloak she still clutched and began to gasp for breath.
"I -- I can't breath . . . I have to -- I have to get out of here," She spoke between sobs, looking madly around the room for an escape.
"Ginny. . ." said Harry desperately. He stepped towards her.
"Don't!" Ginny said pointing at him, "Please don't . . . I can't take it."
Harry dropped his hands to his sides.
"I have to go," said Ginny, letting the cloak finally slip from her fingers and land on the floor. She turned and ran to the portrait, refusing to look back.
The portrait closed with a thud that seemed to echo dully. Harry stood in the common room alone, looking around; he caught sight of the shimmering of Ginny's cloak, left in a pool of fabric. Harry walked over and carefully picked it up; he held it to his face and inhaled deeply in frustration. He sat down heavily on a stool and buried his face in his hands. Only the crackling fire caught the whispering words of the man before it.
"Damn . . . What am I going to do?"
Hours crept past as Ginny wandered the empty halls and stairways of Hogwarts. The tears had long since stopped, leaving her feeling hollow. Throughout the course of her endless walk, she would occasionally stop, if only in an attempt to find mild distraction. One of those times was at Sir Cadogan's portrait, where he was repeatedly attempted to mount his pony for a ride only to fall again and again. Perhaps another day this would have made Ginny laugh, especially once the knight realized he had an audience and attempted to woe her with his charms; but at the moment, it only caused Ginny a half-hearted grin before she moved on, his calls for the lovely fair maiden to return going ignored.
Later in the day, Ginny found herself down by the kitchens, though she wasn't hungry, she decided tea would probably help pass the time. Ginny was immediately approached by several cheerful house elves offering her an array of treats. With declines for anything other than tea, she was left to her own, sitting on the bench at a freshly polished table. A folded issue of the Daily Prophet lay close by. Ginny opened it and was greeted by a photo of the Dark Mark, sinisterly hovering high above a cottage in the tiny village of Kelby. Ginny stared down at the sickly green glow of the now familiar mark, which only meant heartache and devastation to so many. She crumpled the page in her hand and angrily brushed the entire paper onto the floor. Silently, a group of near by house elves hurried over and cleared away the mess. Ginny bowed her head, staring down at the table top, adding shame to her list of woes. Several minutes later, a lone house elf approached her with cup and saucer in hand. Winky quietly set the tea before Ginny and stood beside the table for several seconds.
"Is there anything else Winky could be getting Miss?" her high, squeaky voice finally asked as she waited, looking over her shoulder at the other house elves who would glance at Ginny concernedly from time to time.
"I'm fine, thank you," muttered Ginny, slowly stirring her tea.
Winky gave Ginny a long glance with her large eyes. When another smiling elf began to walk towards the table with a plate of biscuits, Winky moved to hurry the elf off in the other direction; she returned and sat opposite of Ginny, where the house elf remained, keeping silent company, and watching out to prevent other elves from intruding.
As the sun sank beyond the horizon, Ginny's lost wanderings led her, eventually, to the courtyard, now barren and still, save for a solitary snowman standing guard, the kiss still starkly vivid against the white snow. Ginny glanced over; in the fading light she could barely make out any traces of the snow angels she and Harry had made the day before. The cold winter wind gusted and Ginny shivered uncontrollably, wishing dearly she had remembered her cloak. She turned to go, giving one last fleeting glimpse to the lone snowman before making her way back inside the castle.
Night has finally fallen before Ginny returned to the Gryffindor tower, mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.
"Password," yawned the Fat Lady.
"Tar Valon," Ginny muttered, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular.
"Get some rest dear," the Fat Lady said kindly. Ginny nodded, glancing down at her shoes as the portrait swung open.
The first thing Ginny noticed when she entered the dark common room was that it had been cleared of all wrapping paper and ribbons from earlier. An inviting fire burned strong in the hearth. Ginny wandered slowly across the room, deep in thought, with her arms crossed protectively in front of her. She stopped before the fireplace, welcoming its warmth and stood staring at the flames. An uncomfortable feeling being watched nagged at her. Ginny glanced around and was startled to find Harry quietly sitting on a couch against a far wall, in the shadows. He stood and walked over to her, stopping less than an arm length away. He stared at her for several minutes, when he finally did speak it came out in a sharp whisper.
"Have you any idea what this is like for me?" asked Harry. Ginny stood silently, her heart squeezing tightly. "To have you so close -- and yet not be able to reach out and touch you whenever I want." Harry jaw clenched and unclenched. "All I do is think about you -- worry about you. It's killing me . . . the fear."
"Fear?" whispered Ginny, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Yes fear, Ginny." Harry bit the words out harshly causing her to wince. "Fear that if I allow myself to admit anything . . . if Voldemort found out that I care for you so deeply --- I know he will do his most to try and destroy you!"
Harry's voice grew harder and louder. "Do you know what it's like to know that the one person you've fallen in love with more than life itself you can't have -- and worse yet, you have to watch her eventually move on with her life and find someone else?"
Ginny's head snapped up. Her expression was tortured, though her eyes held a faint shadow of hope. She knew, knew more than he could imagine. Harry reached out grabbing Ginny by the arms, his fingers biting into her flesh.
"I can't let him hurt you again, Ginny! I won't allow him to target you to get to me!" His voice was full of anger, hurt, and determination. "I couldn't take it if something happened to you!"
To this day Ginny couldn't tell if the fates had finally stepped in to possess her or if her clouded mind and pained heart had finally snapped . . . whatever it was, she found herself swiftly moving forward to reach up and kiss Harry before he could say another word. Her lips pressed soundly against his for a brief moment in time. She broke the kiss and abruptly pulled back in shock.
"I--I'm sorry," she stammered and turned to escape.
Harry roughly pulled Ginny back to him. She gasped in surprise, being almost knocked off balance. Ginny's hand flew up against Harry's chest to catch herself. She felt little electrical sparks beneath her fingertips. Harry stared down at her, his eyes darting between her eyes and her lips. He ducked his head and hesitated for a moment before firmly kissing her. Ginny's mind exploded with a million stars dancing behind her closed eyelids. Harry slipped his arms tentatively around her waist at first but soon was gathering her against him. Ginny felt Harry's heart hammer against her hand and she whimpered into his mouth, causing him to deepen the kiss. Ginny snaked her arms around his neck. She felt his tongue gently tease her lips to have access which she willingly gave. The taste of him was perfect, sweet, familiar, and comforting.
Harry tightened his arms around her. The scent of him made her head spin; she could hear nothing but the roar of blood rushing in her ears. Harry ended the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. His breathing was labored and he was trembling. He ran his hand up her side coming to rest on her neck; her skin tingled beneath his fingertips trail.
"I won't let him hurt you." Harry gently kissed her forehead. Moving his head, he placed light kisses over her eyes and along her cheek. He held her even closer against him, kissing down her neck. Ginny's pulse jumped beneath his touch. Brushing his lips up to her ear he whispered, "I'd be empty without you."
Ginny held him tightly; the battle with tears long since lost, her heart broke for him. His mouth came to hers again, his kiss felt urgent with fear and need. Whimpering, Ginny leaned against him, her knees growing weak. Never in her life had she experienced a kiss that was so all consuming, that overpowered her every sense and threatened to take her over. She moaned into Harry's mouth, clinging to him for fear of drowning. Harry slowly broke the kiss and stared down at her. His breath was ragged as he reached up and trailed a finger down the side of her face. His eyes were a dark storm of emotions. Ginny's eyelids fluttered with his touch.
"I want you. . . ." he whispered.
Ginny nodded, her heart pounded behind her ribcage as she struggled for breath. Harry leaned in slowly, brushing his lips across hers. Ginny no longer cared about the future, or the dangers that she knew lie ahead. Her focus was on the present, which was the only thing that mattered to her, the future could be damned. She'd face the next day when it came.
