II. Wahl
choice, selection; option, alternative.
A light wind softly ruffled the leaves of the god-tree overhead as Inu Yasha and Kagome sat talking in the forest clearing. On Kaede's advice, they had left the village to deal with the possible reconstruction of the complete Shikon Jewel. No one was sure what would happen if they had in fact found the last pieces and tried to rejoin them, and the weary villagers had only recently finished their latest demon-rampage repairs. So the two of them had left the others back in the village, preferring to try to finish what only they two had started when the Jewel was broken.
Kagome held the small vial of shards open in her palm, and Inu Yasha brought closer the small cloth bundle holding his piece. As soon as the wrapping was loosened, all of the fragments began to glow with an eerie, multicolored light.
"I can hardly believe it, but I agree with Kaede. I think we really do have all of the pieces, Inu Yasha."
He closed his fist around the bundle, and the glow diminished. "Yeah, you an' me both." He paused. "But now what? We've got to make some decisions."
Kagome nodded. "Yeah. I don't suppose we could just leave it like it is... that's wishful thinking, isn't it?"
He rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah."
Kagome tapped her chin with one finger thoughtfully. "Oh, yes, that's right... you probably still want it for yourself..."
Inu Yasha stood. "Unless you want to live your life like Kikyo did, protecting the Jewel your whole life, we have to do something with it."
"You could become human."
"With all of the weaknesses of a human."
"Would you rather become a demon?" Kagome snapped, expecting the usual quick and condescending reply of 'of course!' but none came. Inu Yasha turned slightly away from her in silence, his hands tucked into his sleeves and his gaze unfocused.
Finally, quietly, "I thought I did."
Kagome couldn't help her small gasp, and his eyes flicked briefly to hers before moving away again.
"But after all that we've seen the Jewel fragments do to people, mortals and demons alike... how do I know I'll be different? Just about everyone we've ever seen with a shard of it was consumed by their desires, their obsessions..." Inu Yasha paused. "Plus, I don't want to lose the strong parts of what I am to become some monster whose overconfidence gets him killed."
Kagome looked slightly incredulous. "What?"
He faced her. "Well, face it, having the shards didn't protect all those demons we've killed over the years. They were overconfident. Granted, I was just better than most of them in the fights, half-demon or full, but still..."
Kagome shook her head. "You sounded so serious... but now you're blustering again. Or are you just..." She paused for a deep breath. "Are... are you sure this isn't about your feelings? For humans?"
"Demons don't have feelings for humans."
"That's what I mean. I think... you like having some of your feelings."
He turned away from her again. "So what? That's prob'ly just my human side trying to hold me back."
"What? Oh, come on, Inu Yasha!"
He glared pointedly at her. "You mean your feelings don't make you weak?"
She didn't back down. "Sometimes, yeah. But other times, they make me strong. But you know all this already! Why won't you admit it?"
"Grrr... You just don't understand!" This time he turned away completely.
"I understand that you don't want to ever be weak. I understand that you've needed to be strong all the time to survive."
He began to pace back and forth in the clearing, surefooted among the gnarled roots of the god-tree. "Yeah, but it's more than that... I can't protect you if I'm weak. I can't protect you if I'm human. If I don't use the Jewel to become human or to become a full demon, we're stuck with it. The constant temptation to use it one way or the other wouldn't be much fun, and there's no one else I'd trust with the Jewel but you... but I won't let what happened to Kikyo happen to you!"
"You're not making any sense! You think I'd... Naraku is dead! Besides, now that we know what really happened before, I wouldn't fall for that sort of trick even if he wasn't!"
Inu Yasha held out his palms to stop her, the small fabric bundle still in one hand. "No, that's not what I mean... she told me once that she couldn't be just a woman and still protect the Jewel. She had to be brave and fearless and flawless all the time, and it killed her inside." He paused, and then spoke gently, "Protecting it for the rest of your life, fending off demons all the time and losing all joy in living... I don't want you to have to go through that."
"So what's the other solution? You take the Jewel, don't use it, and go through that kind of loneliness yourself guarding the damned thing? That's no better!"
"Kagome..."
"No! I don't want that for you, either! There's got to be another way! Some way to destroy it, maybe? Without using it?"
"No mortal can destroy it... or Kikyo would have."
A familiar voice interrupted from the shadows at the edge of the clearing, "You're right."
