------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Switch Part 13 of 12: "The End of Switch" by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please do remember that Ranma 1/2 is a trademark and a copyright of and by some big name people and companies I am not even worthy to introduce. Anybody who says that I took any of their stuff better not find me hiding. Also, great thanks to whoever reads this and likes it, good thanks to whoever reads it anyhow, and teeny-weeny thanks to whoever else even saw this. Wouldn't Switch be a little more understandable if we - ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why? or Wouldn't Life Be a Little More Understandable If We All Spoke English (or Japanese)? There are no innocent people in Nerima. There are only two major partitions in the populace in Nerima. The first of which is the one separating active and passive people - the active people are the main cast and some of their friends, who might have been passive before, except that they got witty one-liners or had to be first in line to be victimized by whatever monster of the week had arrived. The passive people had been given all their actions in passive voice, obviously - whereas Ranma would have the wind run through his hair, the random passer-by would have his hair run through by the self-same wind. Nonetheless, the wind would be thorough with the strands of hair on each and every single person in Nerima. Nerima is that kind of place - where it would make no distinctions on doling its inescapable attentions, it would make its choices on who gets to do what to who. The secret to this led, inevitably, below the surfa "What the hell?!" Across the room, the hand that flicked on the light switch waved off the animosity that came from near the low-rad screen it had managed to outshine. "Mr. Switch." The man stepped closer. An author's spider-sense would immediately be alerted to the fact that he was wearing genuine Ray-ban sunglasses, in a spiffy three-piece suit with tie, all in a funereal tone that said that someone somewhere was dying, and that someone would be joining soon. The author sat up and thought: If I'm going to be dying soon, there have to be a few things that I have to say. I've done a lot of things badly, a lot of things wrong. It's been, what? Barely four years. I've been writing for almost four years, and I've done nothing but gripe. [3] If I haven't given you a bad impression of my personality, I've probably given you such a wrong impression of this place, Nerima, which has been my home. I've never really changed my impression of this cozy little nook. You might have read about how I've described the weather conditions here, about the way the climate is accelerated. It's really nothing that goofy, at least before Ranma came, that is, and that the Principal from Hell came back, so I've heard. I mean, hearing that he came back, that is. I keep thinking of the canal along the way to Furinkan as a river, but I've always been a city boy, even back in the Philippines, so I've never really seen a river that clean. Neither have I tried to change most people's perception of this strange rectangle on the dot of Tokyo. You figure most of the gossip in school goes around the topics of who's been seen with whom, who's been chasing whom, who's engaged to whom, but with friends like Daisuke and Hiroshi (more of the latter, of course), add to that list who's been fighting whom, when and where did they say the challenge would take place, how Ranma found out about this latest move, But, you may wonder, what have I been doing in the last year or so? Wouldn't you like to know. What happened when we all graduated from J____? Or that last, fateful summer? Did I go to Furinkan, like all my friends and lover? Or, as someone with more tact would have mentioned, what happened between me and Yuka so that she'd end up with good ol' 'suke-boy, and that it took me that long to mention? But wait, my tormentor wishes to say something. [3] Before that, of course, a footnote. I had wanted to try annotating Switch to clarify all the nitty-gritty throwaway references and expressions I had used in the series. [4] I tried it with the prologue, and ended up with 30-odd notes to tack. Where was I? Oh, yes. [5] [4] 'Twould give a Pratchett feel to it. I also tried removing the chapter separations, but 'twas never written in that way. Strange how the first parts of this series reminded people of Pratchett, when I had first read "Good Omens" in the second year of writing. Douglas Adams had always been an influence, however. I had read the Hitchhiker trilogy in the order of 2-5-1-4-3. [5] Chronicled in "In-Between the Lines", Years 1 through 3, by Switch, the second prequel to the Switch series, after "The Way of the Parting Waters", by Switch, goo, Yebah, Pervert and Vector. Unless anyone else is interested, episode one will never be written, nor will there be a third trilogy. To anyone whose interests lean toward a concatenated series of fanfiction, I suggest Radler's mega-crossovers. However, there are rumors of a "Young Switch Gets a Hand" in the making. "You seem to have a lot on your mind." Ah? Sorry. "Ah?" "A lot on your mind, Mr. Switch," he reiterated, and held a cloth petal of a plastic plant standing on a corner with fingers in a morbidly black leather glove. "Always liked plants," the author replied, all weary. "Too lazy to water, though." "Maybe you were a little busy doing your research." The man ran the hand on top of the blue water bottle on the dispenser. "Too busy." "Okay, okay," Switch said, noticing that the man was relishing the fact that no fingerprints would be found in the room. If he was not careful, even the author would have no fingerprints in the room. He shook off the sudden and unnecessary recollection of Encyclopedia Brown, and focussed on his companion. "Enough hyperbole. Is there something you're here to give me or do I have to beat it out of you?" It would be hard to believe that the short, frail-looking teenager would be able to make good on his threat, and the man raised his eyebrow to convey that remark. Daisuke knew better, at least that, if anything, there'd be at least a two-chapter fight from it. If the man were unarmed, that was. "You will get what is coming to you, Mr. Switch," the man assured. It would be easier to understand all this diplomacy if I were to elaborate. Let him think that I'm zoning out due to fear. My name is Michael, often Mike, sometimes Mikeru, recently Switch. Four years ago, I came to Nerima. Two years ago, Yuka and I were something of an item. A year ago, I thought I was going back home. Last summer, I went back to the motherland, touching base with the parents, the siblings, the dogs. Three years in Japan had been good to me, they said. Maybe now I should go to the special high school (t)here? I'd be a freshman as old as a senior. Funny. What was important to me was to become normal. Being a normal student in a special school didn't necessarily occur to me as something that ended up, in the absolute scale, according to my plans. I came back to Nerima after two weeks. Admittedly, the first thing I did was look for Yuka. Right after the big break-up, the last thing on my mind should have been looking for her. I missed her. A whole damned lot. I transferred to Furinkan the next week, right into 1-F. I remember the first time I stepped into the homeroom. The teacher had called me in, and I hadn't told any of them that I had come back. The moment I stepped through the door, I looked for her, trying to catch her expression. She was sitting next to Akane - a surprise, since they weren't that close in junior high - across her was Sayuri, and the two of them - Sayuri and Akane, that was - were talking, apparently clearing a topic that came in class. Yuka was writing something down, bowed over her hands, leaned slightly forward. Another step forward, and she had raised her head. She sighed, done with her small chore, leaning slightly back, lips in position for a simple kiss, it would seem now, and met my expectant eyes. She smiled. "Something about this... situation... amuses you?" You could feel that this was the type of man who pressed downward with ellipses to emphasize his point. "Nothing," the boy known as Switch demurred, "it's just the way I'd phrase it." As though nothing was obviously wrong, he fished in the drawers of the relatively low-slung desk supporting the computer's monitor for a free diskette. This motion was made harder by the fact that the boy was sitting on an air-filled bean-baggish chair. He placed the keyboard he was cradling on top of the printer, taking care not to jostle the nearby phone handset. He found a pink 3.5", and plugged it into the disk drive of the CPU, standing to the right of the desk, all carefully. Scene break here. Some people have probably figured, "he's the man." I'd normally respond, "'the man'?" They'd, of course, have to continue, "you know, the man. The guy who was moving around in the series. The guy who talked to Nabiki. [6] The guy who told Nodoka that Genma had sold Ranma to the Triad. [7] The man in the room with the broken switch [8], whose narrations are out of sequence." Some people are saying, "when did Nodoka think that Genma sold Ranma to the Triad?" Others are going, "huh?" Now, why would I self-insert as a completely unremarkable plot device? At least, that's what he seems to me. The man, I mean. How'd you think I'd know that he's completely unremarkable? You'd figure I'm just really lazy, trying to pass him off as that. You should see the guy. Blends in better than Tsubasa in a junkyard. And he acts just like a convenient plot device, right? Now I know this would be confusing, with the man in the room with me, and the completely unremarkable man in my chronicles. Let's say that, for clarity, the unremarkable man, the man who talked to Nabiki, talked to Nodoka, sleeps in a dark room, and is not me, his name was Bob. That should be a bit clearer. [6] Switch Book I, "The Light on the Fourth Floor". [7] Switch Book I, "Ten to One Against". [8] Switch Book I, "The Light on the Fourth Floor". It was funny that the chapters had titles which had numbers, straight from chapter one, "First Flick", through to chapter twelve, "The Flirty Dozen". Chapter thirteen was called "The Empty House" because I really felt that I wanted to poke at the superstition. "Fourteen Snakes and Ladders" through to "Seventeen Myths and Legends", then "Parental Guidance" for chapter eighteen, "Chapter 19" (really witty, non? :), "Twenty Questions Unanswered", "The Jack of Spades is Wild!" for twenty-one, then "Wheel of Fortune". The last is a slightly mistaken take on the Tarot deck, which has 22 cards in the Major Arcana. "Wheel of Fortune" is numbered 21, of course, I think, unless you're using Hitomi from Escaflowne's deck. Thought break here. A really neat eye-catch, with the name "Switch" emblazoned in Japanese and in English. Then a neat pose of mine. Then a commercial about aluminum siding. I've always hated posing for pictures. That's why my space in our yearbook was a black rectangle, under a suspiciously American-sounding name of a Filipino transfer student in a Japanese junior high school. Sounds trite? I never bothered. Don't have a yearbook. The graduation pictures are enough. Ranma arrived about a month after I did. Of course I'd heard about Kuno's stupid proposal. Watched the next day, never bothered for the reruns. Of course I fit in well with the rest of the weirdos. The gang I've had for three years were all there, our sentai group, and even Akane and Hikaru were there. It was as though I'd never left, as though I'd never thought of leaving. Of course I spoke perfect(ly passable) Japanese and I was acing English. Been here three years, remember? I remember when it was hard enough getting directions to the public bath - I even remember how hard it was getting used to using the public bath. Still felt the need to be normal, though. Good thing - being Miss Hinako's pet student was not, despite all indications otherwise, the best of career moves. That woman is a back-breaker. Of course Yuka and me got back together. I wished. I wished really hard. I even asked, thrice. ... ... If Yuka knew everything I was doing for the past months, she'd probably say, "you saw Ranma and Akane naked?!" [9] She has had quite a nudity fixation, by the by, as most of the girls in Nerima did. [9] Switch Book I, "4X4 FWD/RWD". What's Book III? [10] [10] A little joke, of course. I wouldn't want to explain how I got "Tree", "Park Life", "Battle of Witlesses", "First to Last", "Letter #361" and "Just Damp", though. "Three White Lies" might not be sufficient. "Letter #361" and "Battle of Witlesses" were written that way because I was so bored that I wanted to try things out. And don't ask me how I was able to write "Battle of Witlesses" if I wrote "Eighth Hour's Sleep and a Moment's Dream" through "The Flirty Dozen". Come to think of it... "... is that why you're here?" "What?" The MiB was taken aback. "Come again?" "The way I've been writing it, I mean." Playing it cool, hmm? "The way I've been writing 'Switch'." "Oh, the way you've been writing... 'Switch'," he said with some distate, "has been... interesting. Too -" "Too interesting," Switch ended. "It's not perfect or anything," he admitted. "But it... it explains so much," he countered. Switch could have mentioned similarities in his narrative to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which, while exhaustively comprehensive, was mostly apocryphal. "I've had time to think about it." "Really?" The man (not-Bob) seemed surprised. "Doesn't seem like it." The boy (also not-Bob) flapped his mouth open, about to say something, but suddenly caught the gist of the last statement. It was sad that his brain didn't need to be consciously in control for him to make sounds with his mouth. "They're interesting people," it said. "They are," he acceded. "So much going on with them." This was the heart of the problem, of course. That is the head of the matter. Ranma came to Nerima one month after I did. Suddenly, there was nothing else anyone could talk about animatedly. His single-handed defeat of the athletic-club membership of the school was headline material, and his engagement to Akane Tendo, who was once the perpetually sad Madonna, now the fiery and angry bachelorette [11], was grist for the rumor mill. His manga-like hyper-powered martial-arts skills, calling out stranger single-minded adversaries, coupled with his mystical gender-changing abilities [12], made for the most popular ring of the largest circus in Tokyo, the other two rings covered by aliens and robots, excuse me, androids. Many a conversation now was opened with the line "how's about that Saotome today?" basically because the weather was predictably rainy when something was bound to happen to Ranma, and it sped up ice-breaking rather handily. I... I wasn't jealous. Surely, he was just a transfer student, a martial artist, as I wanted to become. Daisuke was just one belt ahead of me, dammit! That was a chasable goal. This... this new guy was a windmill. (Okay, so maybe even Kuno was way above my league but, gods, the guy had a stick. Ranma didn't even use his hands on him.) I... I wasn't jealous. I was curious. But I didn't want to ask him straight out. It wasn't right that way. I may just have been not curious enough. Then... she came along. I didn't notice her at first. Hell, I don't think anyone would notice a male transfer student anymore, until they showed an interest in Ranma, then an interest in rearranging the landscape with his face. Then he'd usually be another grumbling face in the crowd. Ukyo... Ukyo is different. You could tell that she's living off of some kind of death in her feet. I mean, no one deserves to be so sad. She loses her family's cart of livelihood. Then she vows revenge, gives up her womanhood and takes on the life of a modern samurai or something. And then, when she finally finds him, finds Ranma, he goes and twirls her head so fast she's reeling. I mean, how can fate be that cruel? Each time she gets to a major turning point, the sign always says "Detour". [11] Anybody would've probably snapped into annoyance with guys trying to beat you up just to get a date. Akane was very popular, even then. [12] It's strange that no one really knows how Ranma came about his "curse". There's probably some sort of dimensional displacement, some other world where the female Ranma comes from, otherwise the mass differential would probably cause chaotic thunderstorms about everywhere except Peking, where there was always a butterfly. So, anyway, I figure, I'm writing this for the company, right? They did say that it was a continuing work, of sorts. They must have some idea on how this whole situation came about. Imagine my surprise when I found that they had a whole library on Jusenkyo, and all the cursed springs, and about Nerima, and - Oh. Oh shit. "Too much," Switch concluded. He started to stand. "And that started me thinking," he said, pushing the boy down with one hand on a shoulder. "I'm thinking, 'some of those insights, some of those ramblings, they said too much. It's like he knows some of the things that are really going on.' And, suddenly, it's too late, because you did know it, you bastard!" "Hey! HEY!" He saw the gun. The shiny black barrel did not even end in a silencer. Hell, it was a damned shiny black-barrelled pistol, you can't even put a silencer on that. "You're gonna kill me because I wrote a damned STORY?!" "YOU POSTED IT ON A DAMNED MAILING LIST!!" He put an exclamation point on the exclamation point. Switch was surprised he was taking it so calmly. Then again, he figured it would happen, since he noticed that the last e-mail to the company he had cc:ed to ffml@fanfic.com. "As fanfiction! Fan Fiction! Fiction! You know, make-believe!" "It would've been that, wouldn't it? If you kept to the damned narrative!" He shot. "Oof." It would've probably been a scream, except that he barely was able to get out harm's way, the heart moved only by inches. Blood was flowing into the left lung. "Wha... what... tipped you off?" The participle hung painfully. "The bit... on... exporting... males?" The man who was not named Bob did not bother to advance. "Nope. You got careless, Switch. You had to write about the prince, didn't you?" Switch was coughing blood and phlegm, and knew he didn't have time left. "Prince...?" "You had to put that in, had to make her talk. You had to make the Storyteller weave her tale once more." Switch smiled crookedly. "'twas... a... good... story..." "But the Storyteller doesn't talk." He took aim. The boy pulled himself up, a very painful motion, along the desk, a hand leaning on the mouse. "Because I cut her tongue long ago." Two fingers tensed. Switch stared at him, blood welling in his mouth, tried to focus, tried to say what he wanted to say, but didn't have the breath... ... Rollo Tomasi... "Well, shit," he muttered, looking down at the profusely bleeding body of the writer. Then he noticed something on the computer screen. The Eudora mailbox logo looked different. He realized, the flag was down. It was up before. "Shit!" He sat down, tried to locate the last message sent, but couldn't find it. This was definitely worse. He had to find a way to shutdown the FFML before that last post was sent. He stood up, hearing the sirens that could not be more than three blocks away, and shot at the water canister. Unnoticed, a woman with red hair clandestinely left the apartment building where a tragic murder was committed that night. The suspect, a twenty-something man in a three-piece suit and sunglasses, could not be located. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Detach here) THE CHRONOLOGY OF THE COMPLETE SWITCH RANMA½ FANFICTION STORY The Way of the Parting Waters* Originally the first Ranma fanfic conceptualized in the series – set in feudal Japan, a sort of altered universe Ranma story dealing with the original Tendo dojo. Bits of this story are what the Storyteller mentions. And, yes, this is a significant part of the entirety. Book III: Park Life The origin of Tsubasa Kurenai. Book III: Tree Ryoga and Ukyo: hit and miss and miss and twenty more misses. In-Between the Lines (Years 1 through 3)* Another prequel, this self-insert deals with the junior high mis-adventures of Hiroshi, Daisuke, Sayuri, Yuka and a Filipino student named Mike. Very little of this has any significance, although it was a nice thought. A spamfic was written before about this. Gosunkugi, Akane, Rio the fortune-telling girl make appearances. Book III: Letter #361* When Kasumi dumps Dr. Tofu. A one-act play. Book III: First to Last* Let's say I wanted to substantiate the Ukyo/Ryoga friendship. Okay, okay, RpM, I'm not. Book I: Day 1 What if people that never met in the series met? Book III: Just Damp A dream that was moist. Book I: Day 2 What if we got rid of Ranma for almost one day? Book III: Battle of Witlesses* Who did the most damage at Mt. Fuji? Comic-book script. Book III: Three White Lies Is Ranma a boy, a girl or a cat? Book I: Day 3 What if everything you ever held true was wrong? Book III: Goddess of Cookery* When I come back and finish this after three years, I find myself writing way too much in chapter 21, so I take out the cooking sequence and place it here. A Stephen Chow send- up. Book III: Why? I slay me. Book II: The Episode Scripts* Now, take everything that was there, make new stories and somehow explain this entire mess. What happened to the Tendos, the Saotomes, the Kunos, the Onos, the Amazons and to Nerima, and why it has something to do with Bob and a company named Switch. Book III: Necessity's Child* In a parallel dimension, paradox occurs. SWITCH ENDS HERE Ranma 1/2 is by Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Kitty TV and Viz, LLC. Thank you for your characters. I have learned much from them. (Detach here) -------------------------------------------------------------------------
