(brief cut to black)
(Because they're only so much you can do with this concept, J. C. gives the cameraman permission to only print clips from the next traps. First is using one of Doc's own inventions against him. Gina hefts a strange-looking gun.)
GINA: (grinning) It's a freeze gun! We hit Doc with the mist, and he'll freeze in place! Then we just load him onto a scooter and take him away! Granted, he's gonna be a statue for a few hours, but that's a small price to pay for having him, finally.
J. C.: (off camera) Gina! I need you to hold this while I tighten it!
(Gina puts the freeze gun down in a "safe" spot and goes to help J. C. The shadowy presence from before comes up. We can see clearly this presence is female now. She takes a small knife and notches a tube running to the nozzle of the gun. A thin stream of gas starts to escape. She quickly high-tails it out of there.
Gina returns and picks up the gun, now trailing J. C. J. C. gives the cameraman a big grin.)
J. C.: The common Doculus Brownis is very active, and enjoys many activities. One of the most familiar is communal grooming, usually performed with the Canis Familiaris companion.
(Pan over to Doc, throughly soaked, attempting to give Einstein a bath. The girls sneak forward.)
J. C.: (quietly) Okay, Gina, let him have it!
(Gina pulls the trigger of the gun. The stream of gas shoots out the opening, a very thin mist escaping from the main nozzle. The mist lazily drifts over Doc and Einstein. Doc hold his back, wincing.)
DOC: Ouch. My back feels a little stiff.
(Pan back over to J. C. and Gina. They are standing very stiffly, covered in a light blue substance. J. C. wrenches her mouth open.)
J. C.: (barely comprehendible) Next time, check all equipment throughly. Come along, Gina.
(Gina makes grunting noises. J. C. realizes Gina can't move and very stiffly picks her up and drags her away.
Cut to Eastwood Ravine. Gina and J. C. are standing at the edge, holding a rope. J. C. ties it around Gina's waist.)
J. C.: The Doculus Brownis behavioral patterns are fascinating. It has a compulsion to protect those it loves. A known mating ritual is to save the potential mate from danger. Roll footage.
(The famous "saving Clara" clip from BTTF III plays.)
J. C.: So, we're taking advantage of that. Gina here will play the damsel in distress, and hopefully her calls will attract Doc. Then, when he attempts to rescue her, I'll take him down from behind.
GINA: (looking a little pale) J. C., are you sure I'm gonna be safe?
J. C.: Of course! I'll lower you onto a ledge of some sort. And you can tie the rope to any protruding rocks or the like. You do want to get Doc, don't ya?
GINA: (nodding rapidly) Yeah. Lower me down.
(Using the net's pulley system, J. C. gently lowers Gina down. She swings herself onto a little ledge and ties the rope to a tree branch sticking out from the side.)
GINA: Okay, J. C.! I'm set!
J. C.: (hiding the rope) All righty then, start screaming! I already called his house with a message to come here, so. . . .
(She ducks behind a tree. Gina starts screaming for help at the top of her lungs. Small animals flee the area. Doc quickly appears on the scene. His eyes widen with horror as he hears the yells.)
DOC: Great Scott! (runs to edge of ravine) Miss! Miss!
(Gina gulps in some air and begins to cry.)
GINA: Oh, help me! I was trying to get to the bottom of the ravine, but the rope snapped. Please help me. . . .
DOC: Don't worry, miss, I'll help you. Can you throw me up any of the rope?
GINA: I already tried. Can you see if any is up there?
(Doc looks and spots the rope. He picks it up and gives Gina a reassuring smile.)
DOC: I have it right here in my hand. Don't worry, miss, soon you'll be safely on solid ground again. Can you walk up the ravine for me?
(Gina nods. Doc starts pulling on the rope, and Gina starts walking up the side of the ravine. J. C. oh so causally walks over to Doc and starts helping him pull. Gina is towed to the top rather quickly. Doc leans over and catches Gina's outstretched hand.)
DOC: Just a few steps farther, miss. . . .
GINA: Thank you so much! You saved my life!
(Her face pokes over the edge of the ravine, smiling at Doc. Doc screams again, pulling back. J. C. quickly tackles him, but the force of it sends all of them over the edge! Luckily J. C. had the sense to anchor the rope. They all cling to the rope, looking rather desperate. Doc is trying to control his shivers.)
J. C.: (shaking head) Must remember not to activate "100-mph hug" mode while tackling.
DOC: (eyes fixed on Gina) You -- you -- you're -- you're from -- that -- that fight --
GINA: (confused) Heh?
J. C.: Well, someone's bound to come along and save us. And this rope is anchored pretty tightly. Nobody worry.
(She happens to look down. Unknown to Doc or Gina, J. C. has a form of severe acrophobia -- she's afraid of heights if she's not on a solid platform. They quickly find out, as she grabs them in a crushing grip.)
J. C.: GET ME BACK ON SOLID GROUND!!!!!!!!!!
GINA: (rasp) J. C. . . . You're choking me. . . .
(A shadow falls over the trio. Doc turns frantic eyes upward.)
DOC: Help! I'm trapped down here with two insane girls!
GINA: Hey!
(A thick rope appears over the edge. Doc grabs it and is towed back to solid ground. Gina cries again as he disappears.)
GINA: I want my Doc!
J. C.: (hysterical) Help us! Get me on solid ground!
DOC: Thank you so much for helping me.
OFF-CAMERA VOICE: No problem. I'll take you home.
(Their voices fade away. The girls look at each other. Then J. C. remembers the cameraman.)
J. C.: PUT DOWN THAT DAMN CAMERA AND HELP US!!!
(Cut to Doc, in the shower. This is PenCam view. All you can really see is an indistinct shadow, but that's enough for the girls who are wielding the camera. J. C. is whispering excitedly.)
J. C.: A cleaning ritual. So fascinating.
(Doc begins to sing "How About You?" by Cole Porter.)
DOC: (a little off-key) I like New York in June; how about you? I like a Gershwin tune; how about you?
(The girls sigh. Doc turns, still singing.)
DOC: Holding hands in the movie show, when all the -- YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
(The girls jump back. Doc runs out of the shower.)
DOC: Clara! Clara, those girls are back again!
J. C.: RUUUNNN AAWWWAAAAYYY!
(The girls run. Clara bursts out of the house and runs after them, waving a broom.)
CLARA: (furious) Get away from here, you perverts! Shoo!
GINA: (glaring back) Let's fight her, J. C.! She's our enemy!
J. C.: (stopping) Yeah! And I have just the thing! (pulls out strange-looking device from her knapsack and aims it at Clara) Hang on, Gina. OMNI-TASER SUPREME!
(She activates the device. There's a flash of electricity, then Clara is seen all scorched, her hair all frizzy. She looks shell-shocked. Pan over to J. C. and Gina, who look about the same way.)
GINA: (weakly) Medic. . . .
J. C.: I shoulda asked Riff if he had fixed the settings. . . .
(All collapse.)
OFF-CAMERA VOICE: Wow. I didn't even have to do anything.
(Cut to Gina and J. C. rigging up a pair of ACME Jet Propelled Pogo Sticks. They hop on and wait for Doc to pass by. He does, trying to convince Verne to walk Einstein.)
DOC: Verne Calvin Brown, you have to perform some duty toward this household!
VERNE: But I did the morning dishes, Dad! Make Jules walk Einstein!
(J. C. and Gina power up their sticks and start hopping as fast as possible toward Doc. Doc hears the boings, sees the girls, and bolts. Verne dives for cover as they speed past.)
J. C.: (Animaniac voice) Boingy boingy boingy!
GINA: Come back Doooooccc!
(They're catching up quickly, but then there's that glint of sunlight on glasses again. The mysterious girl dumps ACME Oil in front of them. They both land in the puddle and fall. Oil splatters all over their clothes. They try to get back up, but an ACME anvil falls on them, flattening them. Verne, a little curious, goes over.)
VERNE: What the hell happened to you?
J. C.: Just peel us up and take us to the bike pump, please.
(Cut to the girls behind the garage, cleaning themselves off. J. C. looks at the camera with a sigh.)
J. C.: You know, Austin, you could have helped us. You are a T-1000.
(She activates PenCam, showing the evil Terminator from Terminator 2: Judgment Day. He looks miffed, which is odd.)
AUSTIN: I don't owe you any favors. You screwed up my programming. I used to be pleasantly programmed to kill the Connors. Now I'm a cameraboy.
J. C.: But you're so much cuter neurotic!
AUSTIN: (to himself) I so wish I could reactivate "Terminate" mode. . . .
J. C.: (to Gina) Well, Gina, I think somebody here doesn't want us to capture Doc. We'll have to leave the territory and pull out the big guns.
GINA: Big guns? I don't want to hurt Doc! Clara, on the other hand. . . .
J. C.: Once we get Doc, I'll put Austin in "Terminate" mode, with Clara as the target.
AUSTIN: Hey!
J. C.: And I meant that we have to do something very drastic. We must deny Doculus Brownis social contact with other species.
GINA: You mean. . . ?
J. C.: Yes. We have to kidnap Marty.
(Ominous Music here.)
J. C.: Where is that coming from?
AUSTIN: KID! STOP TRYING TO HACK ME! I'M NOT A DAMN RADIO, EITHER!
JULES: I'm just fascinated by your internal structure.
AUSTIN: She messed with me enough!
J. C.: Right after we straighten this out.
(brief cut to black)
"Omni-Taser Supreme" and Riff copyright Peter Abrahams, "Sluggy Freelance." All ACME products copyright Warner Brothers, "Looney Tunes." Austin the T-1000 copyright James Cameron, "Terminator 2: Judgement Day." (Although his neurotic form is mine. :))
