"Where is he?" Hermoine moaned, racing round the Gryffindor common room, uprooting chairs and peering under beds looking for her friend, who wasn't at breakfast and was about to miss a very important potions test. She knew that when Gryffindors turned up late, Snape would often use them as test subjects, instead of the Rhesus monkeys Dumbeldore ordered in especially for the purpose, and considering today's test was on a potion that, when administered wrong, had the effect of making the subject's hair fall out, clothes mysteriously disappear, and worst of all, it made them incapable of lying. Harry might accidently spurt out the truth about that night in first year when they were just discovering their sexual identity...and that would be quite tragic, for all involved.br
As Hermoine was interogating the Gryffindor toaster, screaming 'WHERE IS HE!!!' Ron ran in, tripped over a misplaced cushion, and fell at Hermoine's feet. Her usually messy hair was even more messy, from stress and having not been brushed. Ron thought if the hair on her head was this bad, how her pubic hair must look right about now. The thought made him dive for a cushion, and upon finding the one he tripped over, sat urgently down on the nearest couch, cross-legged and blushing. With his hair and his face as red as they were, he could've put on a beret and been right at home in a bowl of tomatoes. ' I wish I were a tomato' he thought, he was looking for any way to get out of the bizarre love triangle he, Hermoine and Harry were stuck in. It wasn't bad enough just pining away endlessly for Hermoine, when she was in love with Harry , it was made infinitely worse by the nights he woke up, with Harry stroking his hair, kissing his neck and whispering in his ear "Don't worry, it only hurts at first." But no, he shouldn't think about that. It wasn't a good idea to think about anything sexual related, especially after Hagrid learnt how to make mind reading potion out of the urine from three headed dogs. Hagrid was still under investigation for Peadophilia, but that didn't really matter to Ron anyway, everytime the three of them visited Hagrid (it always was the three of them, Ron always seemed to be in the shadow of the attractive and the famous, why couldn't it just be him, Ron, the....slightly nerdy?) He spent most of his time looking down Hermoine's top, or talking to Harry about girls (Ron found this extremely funny though, seeing Harry blush and go silent as Hagrid asked if Harry fancied anyone, and Hermoine slid closer and rubbed her leg against his) Ron snapped out of his dream state when he heard Hermoine scream at him "Ron, Ron, wake up, this is hardly the time for your pubescent daydreams!"
"Huh?" He realised that the rest of the Gryffindor house were gathered in the common room, all staring at Hermoine and Ron. A few near the front were giggling, and Ron was sure there would be rumours by lunchtime about the relationship between the two. Which he considered a good thing, it made it easier for him to bring the topic up, not that he ever would, it was still a nobel thought.
"OK," Hermoine said to the group "Are you sure none of you saw or heard anything strange go on during the night?" A second year, shorter than all the rest and near the front suddenyl sat up, as if remembering something.br
"Oh yeah," She said, " I was just going to photograph Harry while he was sle....and yeah, a ten foot tall man in a glowing white robe puched past me, dragging a student behind him. I didn't see who it was, but when I got to Harry's bed he wasn't there."
"Oh really?" Hermoine said, "And do you remember anything else, like did he say anything?"br
"All I heard them say is 'damn witches, I wish they'd burn them at the stake like they used to'"br
"Shit," Hermoine mutered under her breath. "You know what this means, Ron?"br
"No." He replied,"But can we make out?"br
"For god's sake boy, put some pants on, we have to go to heaven to save Harry. Again."br
Ron sighed, why couldn't be have gone to a public school. Or befriended a rhesus monkey. At least that way you 'd know your friend would never lie to you.
As Hermoine was interogating the Gryffindor toaster, screaming 'WHERE IS HE!!!' Ron ran in, tripped over a misplaced cushion, and fell at Hermoine's feet. Her usually messy hair was even more messy, from stress and having not been brushed. Ron thought if the hair on her head was this bad, how her pubic hair must look right about now. The thought made him dive for a cushion, and upon finding the one he tripped over, sat urgently down on the nearest couch, cross-legged and blushing. With his hair and his face as red as they were, he could've put on a beret and been right at home in a bowl of tomatoes. ' I wish I were a tomato' he thought, he was looking for any way to get out of the bizarre love triangle he, Hermoine and Harry were stuck in. It wasn't bad enough just pining away endlessly for Hermoine, when she was in love with Harry , it was made infinitely worse by the nights he woke up, with Harry stroking his hair, kissing his neck and whispering in his ear "Don't worry, it only hurts at first." But no, he shouldn't think about that. It wasn't a good idea to think about anything sexual related, especially after Hagrid learnt how to make mind reading potion out of the urine from three headed dogs. Hagrid was still under investigation for Peadophilia, but that didn't really matter to Ron anyway, everytime the three of them visited Hagrid (it always was the three of them, Ron always seemed to be in the shadow of the attractive and the famous, why couldn't it just be him, Ron, the....slightly nerdy?) He spent most of his time looking down Hermoine's top, or talking to Harry about girls (Ron found this extremely funny though, seeing Harry blush and go silent as Hagrid asked if Harry fancied anyone, and Hermoine slid closer and rubbed her leg against his) Ron snapped out of his dream state when he heard Hermoine scream at him "Ron, Ron, wake up, this is hardly the time for your pubescent daydreams!"
"Huh?" He realised that the rest of the Gryffindor house were gathered in the common room, all staring at Hermoine and Ron. A few near the front were giggling, and Ron was sure there would be rumours by lunchtime about the relationship between the two. Which he considered a good thing, it made it easier for him to bring the topic up, not that he ever would, it was still a nobel thought.
"OK," Hermoine said to the group "Are you sure none of you saw or heard anything strange go on during the night?" A second year, shorter than all the rest and near the front suddenyl sat up, as if remembering something.br
"Oh yeah," She said, " I was just going to photograph Harry while he was sle....and yeah, a ten foot tall man in a glowing white robe puched past me, dragging a student behind him. I didn't see who it was, but when I got to Harry's bed he wasn't there."
"Oh really?" Hermoine said, "And do you remember anything else, like did he say anything?"br
"All I heard them say is 'damn witches, I wish they'd burn them at the stake like they used to'"br
"Shit," Hermoine mutered under her breath. "You know what this means, Ron?"br
"No." He replied,"But can we make out?"br
"For god's sake boy, put some pants on, we have to go to heaven to save Harry. Again."br
Ron sighed, why couldn't be have gone to a public school. Or befriended a rhesus monkey. At least that way you 'd know your friend would never lie to you.
