Easy Love

The Pier.

Dawson and her had said their good-byes and had dropped her off at her
house but there was no one there. Her father was probably at his
office trying to avoid having to say good-bye to her and her brother
wasn't back from walking Jen home. And she really didn't want to be
alone at the moment so she took a walk. It would be her last most
likely in Capeside. She buried her hands inside the pockets of her
jeans as she felt the crisp Fall wind brush over her face and through
her hair. She stopped briefly and stood there in the night hearing the
crickets and the lapping of the water.

"Catching the night air huh?" He asked.

She jumped slightly as she heard the voice and turned to stare at him
with wide blue eyes. "What are you doing out here? I thought that you
would be home by now. or at least snuggled close to a certain
brunette." She remarked with a smile.

"She is snuggled close to a fire with her brother and I. I needed to
take a walk." He remarked. "And you?" He asked.

She smiled. "I. needed to take a walk." She replied.

"Well being that I am taking a walk and you are obviously taking a
walk it would make the most sense to take that walk simultaneously."
He stated.

She raised her eyebrows for a moment. "Well, I guess we can do that.
It would be the most pragmatic, sensical thing to do because you and I
both know that I am a pretty pragmatic, sensical, human being." She
stated looking over at him with a smile.

"Stalwart too." He added.

"I thought that I told you that I refuse to take on that adjective as
a part of my personality description."

"And I thought that I told you that you were stuck with it, McPhee."
She simply shook her head as they fell into step together and made
their way down the pier. "So are you packed?" He asked.

She nodded. "Like you even have to ask. I've been packed since the
moment I decided that I was leaving."

"I should have known that." He replied stuffing his hands in his
pockets. "So what's the first thing that you plan to do when you get
there after unpacking and having the traditional greeting with your
aunt?"

"I am. going to walk along the bridge."

"The bridge?" He asked confused.

She sighed. "Yeah there's this bridge about a mile away from my aunt's
house and I swear Pacey the river that it crosses looks like it goes
on forever. For a long time Jack an I believed that it was this magic
river that went on without an end. When we were kids we used to go
down to the bank and make these paper sailboats. And then we would
take tiny slits of paper and put destinations on them like Paris or
Atlantis. We would kiss the tops of the sails and send them down the
river." She replied as they stopped at the bridge at Capeside.

"Well, this obviously can't compare to Italy's magical, fantastical,
river or it's impact on your adolescent life but it has its own
special quality you have to admit."

"You would be surprised how much this bridge means to me." She
remarked softly staring out into the endless strait that greeted them.
The water lapped beneath them as the city lights reflected its images
in its depths. " I came here a lot after you and I broke up. even more
when you and Joey sailed off into the sunset. I would stand here for
hours you know. And I would just think about all the things in my life
and everything that I had lost and everything that I had gained."

"Which list one out?"

She shrugged. "It depended on the day. Sometimes I couldn't keep track
of all the regrets that I had in my life and what I lost over the
past. And then there were other days when I felt like I hadn't really
lost all that much because what I had found was more then I ever
thought I could imagine. I lost Tim but I found Jack. I lost my mom
but my dad came home to us. I lost you." She whispered softly and took
a moment before continuing. "But I found a really great friend in the
last place that I expected. You want to know a secret?"

"Sure."

Taking in a deep breath she sighed. "I'm scared. I'm really scared,
Pacey. And you're the only person that I've told that to." She looked
over at him. "I know that you said that I'm not allowed to use that
word when being self-referential but the truth is, that's what I am. I
am so scared about leaving and I'm even more scared because."

"Because what?" He asked.

"Because. honestly I'm not sure that I really want to go. I'm not sure
that I'm doing this for the right reasons and yet there is something
that is propelling me from ceasing this entire trip. You know how some
people have these impending thoughts that continuously remind them of
why they should go? Well, I have just the opposite. I have this
abrading feeling that is waiting for something to happen that will
stop me. But until it comes. I am one night away from being Italy
bound."

"Why can't you just make the decision to stay?"

She shrugged. "For the same reason that people don't make the decision
to just go. They always weigh their options you know. They teeter back
and forth with the pros and cons but in the end it's always that one
thing. that single unprecedented factor that makes the conclusive
decision." She remarked honestly. "Like that night in the bathroom. I
didn't just make the decision to come out of that bathroom. It wasn't
until you pleaded with me and you asked me to choose you. You asked me
to come out for you. Not for Jack, not for me, or for the greater good
of mankind. You asked me to choose you and in that moment everything
changed because I knew. that you were the single most important thing
in my life. And I would have done anything for you. I gave up the one
person in my life that I thought would never leave me. just to be with
you."

He sighed not sure of what to say and thinking about the right words
that once came so easily to him but came up empty. So they simply
stood there in the night waiting for whatever would come their way.

"What's your biggest regret Pacey, other then the way everything went
down between you and Dawson?" She asked.

He furrowed his brow. "How did you know that I was going to say that?"

She shrugged. "I just did." She answered and they held a stare.

He looked away for a moment thinking over her question. "It would have
to be. not catching the signs of what was happening to you at the
rave. I should have known. When Joey and I first began our
relationship I mean her and I were so concerned with Dawson and his
reaction because of their obvious history; but you and I had history
and I just never gave any thought to it. I was worried about her and I
was worried about him but I am really sad to say that at the time I
wasn't worried about you. And we grew so far apart that the obvious
changes in you had become indistinguishable to me." He remarked. There
was a silence that enveloped them as though they were stuck in some
kind of alternate universe where they were the only two that existed.
"What about you?"

"That's easy. For not fighting to be with you and for not swallowing
my pride and admitting to you that us being apart hurt me more then
you will ever know. When I apologized to you on the pier that night
for sleeping with Marc and you told me that you would never be able to
forget it; I took that as some kind of ultimate rejection and walked
away from us when I should have done everything in my power to get you
back; because guys like you Pacey are worth fighting for." She
whispered feeling the tears fall onto her cheeks.

"Do you want to know a secret?" He asked after a moment.

Wiping at her tears she nodded. "Sure."

"I really wish that you weren't leaving tomorrow."

She smiled sadly. "Me too." She whispered.

Then there was a quietness once again and this time neither one of
them broke it.

McPhee Household.

Her father turned to look at her as he loaded the last bag into the
car. "Is that everything?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, just about." She answered.

He sighed. "Are you sure that you don't want to wake your brother? You
know that he would want to see you off." He remarked.

She smiled. "He would want to do more then see me off. He would say
something extremely emotional and have me become an emotional wreck
before I even got my bags checked. I don't want to do anymore good-
byes, Daddy." She whispered softly.

He shook his head understanding. He wasn't big on them either.
Reaching out he kissed her forehead. "Okay. are you ready?"

"Almost. Just give me a minute." She replied and disappeared into the
house and up to her brother's room.

She smiled staring down at his peaceful face. She knew that this
wasn't good-bye because with family there were no good-byes and yet
this felt like one for some reason. Walking over to his bed she
reached out and brushed a few strands of dark tendrils away from his
forehead. "I'll see you." She whispered reaching into her purse and
pulling out a folded sheet of paper with his name on the front.
Placing it on the small desk beside his headboard she smiled sadly and
then was gone.

She met her father outside. The sun blazed brightly in the sky despite
the fact that it was merely thirty degrees. Pulling her hat further
down over her blond tresses she turned to stare at her home one last
time. There were so many memories in this place even though she had
spent less then two years here. This place felt more like home then
her house back in Rhode Island. With one final look she got in the car
and let her father drive her off.

Dawson sat in his bedroom with the fall wind blowing through his
window. The chill felt good over his skin as he thought of what Andie
was probably doing at the moment. Loading her car and getting ready to
leave was his guess. The night had been well spent. He sighed as the
images danced across his screen but he paid no attention to them.
Looking over at the clock he rubbed his hand over his face tiredly. He
hadn't slept all night. All he could do was count down the hours until
her plane departed. She would be gone and out of his life forever.
okay maybe that statement was a bit dramatic but the truth of the
matter was that what they had would forever be changed. They would
never be able to get back the months that they were apart and soon the
friendship that had become so important to him would be reduced to
impersonal, redundant emails and quick phone calls. Was that really
enough for him?

Without thinking about the answer he jumped out of his bed threw on
the first items of presentable clothing that he could find and ran
with everything that he had.

McPhee Household.

He heard the annoying beeping of the alarm clock. Turning over he
reached out to hit the mechanical contraption and heard it fall off
the desk and land with a cracking thud on the wooden floor. Moaning he
squinted from the sunlight and exhaled deeply as the morning greeted
him. He lye there for a second with his ears perked wondering what was
wrong and then it hit him. There wasn't a sound being made in the
house. no one moving bags or opening doors. there was just utter and
complete silence and in that moment he knew that she was gone. Sitting
up now fully awake he looked around and called out her name knowing
that she wouldn't answer. He shook his head not willing to believe
that she would leave without saying good-bye. "Andie!" He yelled again
and was met with the same deafening silence. Throwing his legs over
the side of the bed he went to stand when he felt the paper beneath
his toes. Picking it up and unfolding it he read the letter that was
addressed to him.

Dear Jack:

Tell me that's not a melancholy way to greet someone that you love! So
if you're reading this then I'm probably well on my way to the airport
by now. I know that you think I copped out once again and sneaked off
into the night and maybe on some level you're right. Out of everyone
in this town that I would have to say good-bye to, you were the
hardest because I didn't know what to say. I mean yeah, I can tell you
that there are no good-byes or farewells with us but that doesn't
change the miles that will be between us. It also doesn't change how
much I'm going to miss you. You are so special to me and there aren't
words that can describe in accurate detail how much you mean to me. I
guess that's my round-about way of telling you that I love you and
I'll see you.

Love always,
Andie

PS: No more tears okay?

He sighed deeply as he wiped the wetness from his eyes. "I'll see you,
Andie." He whispered softly. The sound of the doorbell broke him from
his sentimental reverie. Grabbing the nearest pair of jeans he threw
them on and ran downstairs and opened the door. "Dawson? What are you
doing here?"

"Where is she? I need to see her. I need to tell her something." He
rushed out breathlessly.

"I'm sorry man. She's gone. Her and my dad left at least a half hour
ago." Jack was about to continue when Dawson rushed to his car and
headed off the down the street. He refused to believe that he was too
late.

She watched the scenery go by in a blur. The trees melted into the
buildings as they drew closer to the airport. They stopped at the
front and her father looked over at her. "Are you sure that you don't
want me to go with you to the gate?" He asked.

She stared at him with smiling eyes. "I'm sure."

He sat there for a moment just looking at his little girl who wasn't
so little anymore. "I really love you Andie. I really do. And I want
you to know that I'm so proud of you. and I would be just as proud of
you if you hadn't gotten into Harvard. I am proud of you because you
are my daughter and that's enough." He whispered taking her into his
embrace and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you too Daddy." She whispered softly into his shoulder as she
held onto him for dear life. A moment later she extracted herself and
got out of the car taking her bags with her. With one final wave she
disappeared inside the building and her father drove off.

Dawson drove like a man on a mission and that he was. He parked his
car and ran inside. Looking up at the huge flight itinerary he spotted
her flight and noted that it was boarding. Taking off at breakneck
speed he ran for her gate. Rushing up the steps he apologized briefly
to the woman that he knocked into on his rapid journey. He stepped on
someone else's foot and even managed to knock an old man's hat off his
head before he even reached the home stretch of where the gates where
lined. Of course hers had to be all the way at the end. Panting hard
and practically out of breath he ran to her gate and spotted her in
line about to hand her ticket over to the flight attendant. "Andie!
Andie!" He screamed causing people to stare in his direction.

She turned around at the sound of her name and spotted the blond boy
running up to her. Stopping right in front of her he bent over leaning
the palm of his hands onto his knees and heaving hard. "Dawson? What
are you doing here?" She asked.

"I have. I have something that. that I have to tell you. I should have
said this. last night but I didn't. I was trying to be noble and the.
better man but the truth is I can't. I can't be that person this time.
I did it with Joey and maybe I shouldn't have because I lost her. I
lost her and I couldn't stand it if I lost you too." He ranted through
his gasps.

She furrowed her brow. "What are you talking about?"

"This may be the most selfish thing that I've ever done. But I am
asking you. to stay, Andie. I don't want you to go. I know it's unfair
of me to ask that of you but with everything that's happened in my
life this past year I couldn't just sit by and watch someone else that
I care about walk out of my life. Because the truth is, I need you. I
know that we haven't been in synchronization with one another but I
couldn't stand to see you leave. I need to know that you're only a
five minute walk or a local phone call away. I need that stability
right now. And I know that I could make it through the next few months
without you but the truth is. I don't want to. So I am begging you
with all my heart to pass up an opportunity of a lifetime and to stay
with me, right here in Capeside."

She stared at him with wide blue eyes not believing that this was
happening. "I can't believe this." She voiced her thoughts out loud.
"I. I can't believe this." She repeated staring at him.

He smiled. "You said that already."

"Yeah. yeah I know but that's what I'm thinking right now. This is.
this is. unbelievable." She whispered.

"Excuse me ma'am. I need to know if you're boarding the plane. If so,
I need your ticket." The flight attendant remarked holding out her
hand.

Andie looked down at the blue and white rectangular piece of paper
that was her future and then back at the attendant. She swallowed
hard. This was it. This was the moment.

Turning to look at Dawson she handed over her ticket and smiled.
"Yes." She answered.

He took the ticket within his hand and stared down at it. Looking back
up at her he stared. "Yes? Yes you'll stay?"

She nodded letting a laugh escape her lips. "Yes. I'll stay." She
whispered trying to hold onto her excitement.

Reaching out he grabbed her tightly and spun her around lifting her
feet off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck holding onto
him for dear life both completely oblivious to the attendant who had
now closed the gate and gave the signal that everyone was loaded.

That world to them didn't exist. Only the two of them and this one
decision that would change the lives of six friends forever.