Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Ron or Hermione or Sirius or any of the terrific characters JKR created for us to enjoy

A/N I haven't really been working on this lately because I'm trying out a L/J fan fic, but I hope people are reading this and reviewing it if they can because that really helps. Thanks so much for reading!! You're awesome!

~*Breakfast and Diagon Alley*~ aka Chapter 3

Harry woke up quite early on the day that was really in early August, but since time sped up rather quickly, it will be the day they're going to get ready for Hogwarts and school will start the following day. Okay? Good. Anyway, Harry stretched and yawned and performed typical early morning tasks such as splashing some water on his face, getting dressed, and heading downstairs to breakfast (hence the chapter title). He was rather shocked when he found the rest of the household already seated at the table, waiting for him to arrive.

"Why- have you- lot- come down- so early this morning?" Harry questioned, speeding up at the end because he found that he could speak much more quickly when he didn't have to draw out any syllables.

"Harry, I'm sorry, but haven't you read anything? Ever? When you go to a magical sort of hiding place there is a time difference and since we've all been here for a while we've adjusted and you obviously haven't. It must seem quite early in the morning to you, but we're used to it. Please, I'm begging you just a few pages a week. It won't hurt I promise," begged Hermione.

"Shut up- Hermione. I read. Yes- I know it's Quidditch related -material and only required- school reading, but too- bad. I'm happy and-I can defeat Voldemort faster than you can so na na - na na- boo- boo."

"Erm.ok Harry."

"Don't worry about him, Hermione. He's just cranky in the morning," whispered Ron to the object of his affection.

Hermione giggled and replied, "Just like my granny!"

Harry sighed and sat down.

"Now Harry, after we finish up our breakfast you'll all head out to Diagon Alley and pick up all of the school supplies. We already ate so please hurry and scarf something down," said Sirius.

"Ok," replied Harry, "But why can I sometimes talk in the beat and sometimes not?"

"Oh, that's quite simple Harry. Honestly, Harry. I don't even think that warrants an explanation," stated Hermione.

"All right then," Harry agreed immediately.

In the following minutes Harry took Sirius's advice and ate hurriedly. Soon after he finished all the kids went to their respective bedrooms and retrieved their trunks. They were to spend the night before their trip to Hogwarts at the Leaky Cauldron and arrive at Platform 9 ¾ quite early the next morning.

"Oh my," gasped Hermione as she looked inside a store window and saw a stack of brand new books, gleaming and glossy, reflecting the fluorescent lighting of the tacky storefront.

"Geez, Hermione," started Ron, "Getting all excited over a stack of boo- Whoa! Get a look at that broomstick would ye? That's just beautiful." Harry turned his head to look at the broomstick but instead found himself face to face with Draco Malfoy who was sneering as usual.

"Potter, Weasel, Mudblood," Malfoy spat, looking at each of the three friends as he said his nicknames for them.

"Oh go stick a broomstick up your bum, would ye?" suggested Ron.

"RON!" Hermione exclaimed, "Don't say something you'll regret just because of this piece of filth."

"I think you'll be the one to regret something, you bloody come to our school thinking you're great just because you're smart. You're still a stupid Mudblood and nothing will ever change that."

Hermione first sighed and then yawned. She then decked Malfoy and he was out cold for at least ten minutes. The other Weasleys assisted the three friends in carrying him over to an alley and left him lying next to a woman named Mildred who sold plums and Fig Newtons.

"Hermione! That was brilliant! I think I love you!" cried Ron.

"You do?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"Well.erm.figuratively speaking."

"Oh.ok."

Hermione and Ron quickly turned away from each other to avoid further embarrassment. Harry began giggling and soon fell over. He just could not stop giggling.

"Harry! Harry! What's wrong? Speak to us!" cried Ginny in an extremely frightened manner.

"I - haha- just can't -hehe- stop - ho ho ho- laughing-haha hehe hoho."

"Uh oh. Ron, do you know what this means?" asked Hermione.

"Um, no. Duh Hermione, that's your bloody job, isn't it?"

"Someone's put him under the Ridere Perpetuum (laugh forever) curse!"

"Oh of course, why didn't I think of that," scoffed Ron.

"It's serious, Ron! Harry could suffer humiliation beyond belief! The person who cast the spell must be around here somewhere. Let's go look. Ginny, you stay here with Harry, ok?"

Hermione and Ron go off in search of the culprit and find themselves encountering swarms of laughing, giggling, and even hysterical witches and wizards! Hermione shook her head worriedly while Ron glanced about nervously, afraid of looking stupid like the rest of them. Suddenly Oliver Wood appeared!

"Have no fear! The hottest guy in the universe is here!" the extremely hot Oliver stated loudly.

Hermione tilted her head, sighed, and wished to be his. Then she remembered that Harry was in trouble. Then she looked at Oliver Wood some more. Finally, Ron gave Hermione a bit of a punch in the arm and told her they needed to ask Oliver Wood about the culprit behind this laughter.

"Ok, fine, but I get to talk to him!" Hermione said excitedly.

::ahem:: "Oliver? Do you have a spell to stop all the laughter?" Hermione questioned timidly. "Of course I do!" the nice sexy man replied, "Sistere Stupidus Animi Motus." (stop stupid emotion in Latin, roughly)

"Thanks ever so much," Hermione sighed.

"Any time sweet cheeks."

Sadly, Oliver Wood had to go away again, back to Puddlemere United Quidditch practice.

"Hermione, what's wrong with you? You totally change whenever that Oliver fellow comes along. You get all dopey and mushy and act like a git," Ron observed.

"Oh honestly Ron! Have you LOOKED at the man? He's flippin' gorgeous!!"

Ron shook his head slightly, realizing that he'll never be able to understand women.

"At least he got the spell to stop all that annoying laughter done." Ron stated.

"We'd better go back to Harry!"

So, the two teens who should be going out walked back to Harry to find him sitting down next to Fred, George, and Ginny, eating a bit of chocolate. He had figured that since chocolate had helped him before he should try it again.

"Goodness, Harry. You need to stop scaring us like that!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. I'm good at that, eh?"

"The question of who performed the spell still remains."stated Ron.

"It was I!" admitted a vaguely familiar voice.

Who performed the spell? What was their motivation? DO wizards pay taxes? For answers to these questions (and perhaps even to the tax question!) please stay tuned and please write a review for this utterly ridiculous story! Thanks ~*gillian