A/N: If Lily seems a little odd to you, tis not my fault (well now that I
mention it, it is). She seems kinda pathetic but well . . . shes going
through hard times and ignoring it while dealing with this emotionally
handicapped moron. Well yeah the next chapters being a pain but I think Ive
just managed to wrap it up.lol R/R
Chapter Two- Alley Arguments
Lily stormed down the streets of Diagon Alley until she arrived at Gringotts. She had left James on the bed stunned, literally. She would have loved more than anything to perform one of the illegal curses on him, but Dumbledore had just gotten her out of muggle prison. Once she was safely in the cart leading to her vault Lily released some very needed tears. She felt anger, no doubt about that, but more than anger she felt her heart breaking. All these years she had thought of James Potter, he had kissed and held her so tenderly, but all along he had wanted only another ninny to add to his harem.
"I acted like such an immature fool!" she sobbed as she collected the galleons.
Her initial impression had been correct. He was a gorgeous, clever, snake tongued, quidditch playing, jerk who wanted more than to corrupt the entire school with his laziness. He was the biggest disgrace to Gryffindor.
"He's the most vile, vicious, corrupt, evil," she sputtered as she entered the alley again.
"Anyone I know?"
The smooth tone was one she feared she would never be able to forget. He was standing there with her giant friend Hagrid, neither looked amused.
"Lillian I am bloody surprised that you stunned our friend James here. I found 'em lying frozen on the bed all shocked like and I couldn't believe the firs' words that came out. Lily he says she's gone and left me. Bloody mad she was, got the wrong impression off me he says. Then o' course I gotta help me lad here. Now what's gotten into yea?"
The affectionate look James had showered on her earlier this morning was gone from his face. Instead she could see a restrained anger in his eyes. Partly she knew was because Hagrid had probably yelled at him on behalf of her honor. 'He really is a good friend' she thought to herself with a relieved smile. As long as Hagrid was around they wouldn't really have to talk about what had happened in the bedroom. Had she really misunderstood what James had meant? Had it been her eagerness to find something wrong with him?
"I may have misunderstood Hagrid, but I seriously doubt it. You've heard the rumors. I've had to listen to what a good lover James Potter was since we were fourteen."
Hagrid nearly choked, but James did not move the slightest muscle. It seemed Lily had hit a nerve. She replayed the last sentences carefully in her mind. He should not have looked so furious at being called a good lover. As for the age, well James was always a quick study, Hagrid and the staff may not have known but most of the students were aware of such status. It was not uncommon; most of the pureblood girls were still getting married at age fifteen.
"Rumors?! Just because people talk doesn't mean it's true. How dare you assume to know me you filthy mudblood!"
Hot tears filled her eyes as she refocused them at a spot above his shoulder several times, making sure not to look at him. Yes her parents had been muggles, but it hadn't been their fault. Malfoy often called her the same thing; never did it hurt as much as it did now. He had stabbed a knife into her breaking heart. 'I actually wanted to believe he liked me' her mind sobbed. She however wouldn't allow him the pleasure of seeing her cry.
"I may be a mudblood, but at least my parents loved me! At least I'm not some pureblood jerk who couldn't manage to think about other people if it was to save my own goddamn life! At least I'm not some random whoreson! At least I am somebody!!"
The entire street heard her outburst and as she said her piece before racing down the alley she felt the tears slip. It sounded stupid to her now, but she had been so hurt. She still was.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The way you kiss The way you cry
The way you move when you walk by
There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James growled loudly as he put a dent into the nearest metal post. He wanted to strangle her until she turned blue, he wanted to race after her and kiss her until she didn't have any more will to argue with him. He wanted to wipe those tears away and promise he wouldn't be the cause of them ever again. Hagrid had not said anything to him as they checked things off his list. He felt a twinge of guilt, maybe he had made it seem like he didn't respect her, but she in turn had embarrassed him in front of the entire street, calling him a whoreson. 'But then you had also inadvertently put down her dead parents.'
"Hagrid I'm going to go find Lily and make sure she's alright." Hagrid rolled his eyes and pushed him toward the right direction.
"She went into Blorish & Blotts. I was starting to wonder if you would ever leave!"
He found her crying quietly in a corner pretending to be studying some rainbow ink. For the second time that day guilt reared its ugly head. He had never felt guilty before, not when he went on his adventures, not when he picked on Severus. It was quite an unpleasant feeling, one he was determined never to feel again.
"Lily? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a mud . . ." he flinched at the glares he was getting, "What I mean to say is that I'm sorry I'm such an insensitive jerk, and if I in any way suggested that I wanted you to be one of my whores I apologize."
There were gasps from the women in the room and outraged hisses from the men. 'Just great, now I'll never hear the end of it when mother gets word.' On a good note he found that she was no longer crying, but laughing hysterically. It seemed that she enjoyed his awkward, self-conscious moments. 'Wonderful, anytime you need her to forgive you just make a fool of yourself in public' he thought sarcastically.
"Do you forgive me?"
The fact that she, Lillian Evans, was getting an apology from the self- centered Mr. James Potter would have been enough. In fact she almost felt bad about the things she had said out there in the crowded alley. All self- control had been thrown to the winds and she had taken out all her pain on him. Sure some of those things he had deserved but it wasn't his fault his parents were still alive. She was sure they loved him, who couldn't?
"Uh Lily? Woo-hoo! Anybody home?"
'I don't have a home anymore, and there isn't anybody.' Hot tears fell out of the corners of her eyes as she began sobbing into his supportive shoulder. The crowd turned back to their business assuming she had forgiven and was crying tears of happiness on her boyfriend. Only James knew the truth, or rather he felt it.
"Shh its okay Lil. You're hurting, go ahead and cry all you need."
She hugged so tightly after that, he couldn't help cradling her delicate body against him. Never before had he ever seen the girl known as Lillian Evans cry in public. She was always quiet, never allowed herself to show any emotion other than happiness with people around. 'Well things have changed now haven't they.'
"James? I'm sorry . . . about everything," she whispered softly.
Chapter Two- Alley Arguments
Lily stormed down the streets of Diagon Alley until she arrived at Gringotts. She had left James on the bed stunned, literally. She would have loved more than anything to perform one of the illegal curses on him, but Dumbledore had just gotten her out of muggle prison. Once she was safely in the cart leading to her vault Lily released some very needed tears. She felt anger, no doubt about that, but more than anger she felt her heart breaking. All these years she had thought of James Potter, he had kissed and held her so tenderly, but all along he had wanted only another ninny to add to his harem.
"I acted like such an immature fool!" she sobbed as she collected the galleons.
Her initial impression had been correct. He was a gorgeous, clever, snake tongued, quidditch playing, jerk who wanted more than to corrupt the entire school with his laziness. He was the biggest disgrace to Gryffindor.
"He's the most vile, vicious, corrupt, evil," she sputtered as she entered the alley again.
"Anyone I know?"
The smooth tone was one she feared she would never be able to forget. He was standing there with her giant friend Hagrid, neither looked amused.
"Lillian I am bloody surprised that you stunned our friend James here. I found 'em lying frozen on the bed all shocked like and I couldn't believe the firs' words that came out. Lily he says she's gone and left me. Bloody mad she was, got the wrong impression off me he says. Then o' course I gotta help me lad here. Now what's gotten into yea?"
The affectionate look James had showered on her earlier this morning was gone from his face. Instead she could see a restrained anger in his eyes. Partly she knew was because Hagrid had probably yelled at him on behalf of her honor. 'He really is a good friend' she thought to herself with a relieved smile. As long as Hagrid was around they wouldn't really have to talk about what had happened in the bedroom. Had she really misunderstood what James had meant? Had it been her eagerness to find something wrong with him?
"I may have misunderstood Hagrid, but I seriously doubt it. You've heard the rumors. I've had to listen to what a good lover James Potter was since we were fourteen."
Hagrid nearly choked, but James did not move the slightest muscle. It seemed Lily had hit a nerve. She replayed the last sentences carefully in her mind. He should not have looked so furious at being called a good lover. As for the age, well James was always a quick study, Hagrid and the staff may not have known but most of the students were aware of such status. It was not uncommon; most of the pureblood girls were still getting married at age fifteen.
"Rumors?! Just because people talk doesn't mean it's true. How dare you assume to know me you filthy mudblood!"
Hot tears filled her eyes as she refocused them at a spot above his shoulder several times, making sure not to look at him. Yes her parents had been muggles, but it hadn't been their fault. Malfoy often called her the same thing; never did it hurt as much as it did now. He had stabbed a knife into her breaking heart. 'I actually wanted to believe he liked me' her mind sobbed. She however wouldn't allow him the pleasure of seeing her cry.
"I may be a mudblood, but at least my parents loved me! At least I'm not some pureblood jerk who couldn't manage to think about other people if it was to save my own goddamn life! At least I'm not some random whoreson! At least I am somebody!!"
The entire street heard her outburst and as she said her piece before racing down the alley she felt the tears slip. It sounded stupid to her now, but she had been so hurt. She still was.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The way you kiss The way you cry
The way you move when you walk by
There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James growled loudly as he put a dent into the nearest metal post. He wanted to strangle her until she turned blue, he wanted to race after her and kiss her until she didn't have any more will to argue with him. He wanted to wipe those tears away and promise he wouldn't be the cause of them ever again. Hagrid had not said anything to him as they checked things off his list. He felt a twinge of guilt, maybe he had made it seem like he didn't respect her, but she in turn had embarrassed him in front of the entire street, calling him a whoreson. 'But then you had also inadvertently put down her dead parents.'
"Hagrid I'm going to go find Lily and make sure she's alright." Hagrid rolled his eyes and pushed him toward the right direction.
"She went into Blorish & Blotts. I was starting to wonder if you would ever leave!"
He found her crying quietly in a corner pretending to be studying some rainbow ink. For the second time that day guilt reared its ugly head. He had never felt guilty before, not when he went on his adventures, not when he picked on Severus. It was quite an unpleasant feeling, one he was determined never to feel again.
"Lily? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a mud . . ." he flinched at the glares he was getting, "What I mean to say is that I'm sorry I'm such an insensitive jerk, and if I in any way suggested that I wanted you to be one of my whores I apologize."
There were gasps from the women in the room and outraged hisses from the men. 'Just great, now I'll never hear the end of it when mother gets word.' On a good note he found that she was no longer crying, but laughing hysterically. It seemed that she enjoyed his awkward, self-conscious moments. 'Wonderful, anytime you need her to forgive you just make a fool of yourself in public' he thought sarcastically.
"Do you forgive me?"
The fact that she, Lillian Evans, was getting an apology from the self- centered Mr. James Potter would have been enough. In fact she almost felt bad about the things she had said out there in the crowded alley. All self- control had been thrown to the winds and she had taken out all her pain on him. Sure some of those things he had deserved but it wasn't his fault his parents were still alive. She was sure they loved him, who couldn't?
"Uh Lily? Woo-hoo! Anybody home?"
'I don't have a home anymore, and there isn't anybody.' Hot tears fell out of the corners of her eyes as she began sobbing into his supportive shoulder. The crowd turned back to their business assuming she had forgiven and was crying tears of happiness on her boyfriend. Only James knew the truth, or rather he felt it.
"Shh its okay Lil. You're hurting, go ahead and cry all you need."
She hugged so tightly after that, he couldn't help cradling her delicate body against him. Never before had he ever seen the girl known as Lillian Evans cry in public. She was always quiet, never allowed herself to show any emotion other than happiness with people around. 'Well things have changed now haven't they.'
"James? I'm sorry . . . about everything," she whispered softly.
