Toby Boy


A/N: This is based around the Irish Ballad, Danny Boy. FYI: Ave (a - vae) means prayer. The song is about the Hundred Years War. Women would send their husbands to war and took the chance of never seeing them again. Vice-versa, the men might come back and find that there spouses have died waiting. Anyways, I used this song to describe how (maybe) Rachel and Tobias promised they would be together (and human) forever but circumstances caused them to be separated. In a sense, Rachel died waiting for Tobias to come back from his hawk life. But, after some reflection, Tobias realizes that they will be together forever. Oh well, just imagine that Rachel is singing, and instead of 'Oh Danny Boy' she's singing something like 'Oh Toby Boy.'


Rachel - in the time of book #1


Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen and down the mountain side.


I remember the first time we went down to the yeerk pool. I remember the screams didn't use the same vocabulary, if any at all, but I knew their souls (as one) were screaming, "Save us!" This is just one pool, I realized. These things are all over the world! There could be thousands or even millions of these on earth. One for every town, or county, or region.

Their screams were a calling. I remember hearing the story of David and Goliath. Israel wanted a big strong guy to come out and save them from the giant. The big, strong guys ran away. (It seems kind of ironic now.)

The only person that came forward was David, a teenager like me. What is ironic is that he only wanted to visit his brothers, not save the world. (I remember one Friday night when I just wanted to go home.) David probably heard screaming when he went there, and was scared, but he knew it was his divine calling. So, here am I. I know something called me into this. It could have been God or the Ellimist or some other weird hyper-dimensional being. I don't know, I just want to live.

The thing about this war is that it is not local (like Goliath) and it won't be cured by a magic rock thrown in the right place. I remember being down there for the first time. The echo in that damp place made it seem like it was coming from the entire bowels of the earth.


Rachel - in the time of book #13


The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.


He came to my window that night after the awards ceremony. We discussed his options. He could be hawk and he could be human. Both of them had their advantages and disadvantages. If he stayed hawk, he could fight, but I would worry about him. I insisted I could take care of myself, but he doesn't listen. I don't want to be protected and I certainly don't want to worry about him. But wait a minute, I just said that there were advantages to both situations...

What is he getting by being a hawk? He has no need for school. He won't ever need a job. He won't have to worry about finding a place to live. Also, humans, in general, can be real asses. He escapes the basic trash of life by being a hawk. (Flying is also a plus.)

If he were to remain human, he could basically lead a normal life. He could live a life set out before him from his birth. Whoa, wait a minute, was his life normal before? Would he be sent back to his abusive relatives? Wouldn't people get suspicious of his returning? He could go into hiding. He could live with the Hork-Bajir. I chuckled. That would never happen.

If he were human, he couldn't help us for sure. We might end up leaving him behind. I couldn't bear that. Well, I can conclude from here on that I care about him too much. I love him is all. We'll probably be arguing about till kingdom come, but inside I am happy with whatever he chooses.

Rachel - in the time of book # 49


But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.


My relationship with Tobias is a good one, but there is always that nagging desire to force him to become a human. The reappearance of his mother had kind of added fuel to the fire. I want him stop! I want to scream at him that he is not a HAWK but a HUMAN. Of course he had trouble calling Loren - Mom. He doesn't believe his mother is actually human.

Okay, maybe I'm rambling. But one night, I said all this to him. He was a hawk at the time, of course. He flew away. I didn't see him until the next day.

I convinced him to come with me again.

"Tobias, I'm sorry." I was fighting a few tears. I knew he could see them. He was the only one who could see them.

I know.

"I worry about you all the time."

He exploded with anger. Don't you think I worry about you too! God, maybe I stay this way because I don't want to leave your side. I don't want you to be out there alone, if something happens. Sometimes, I think you're being a little selfish, that maybe you want the fight to yourself. I know what will happen if it gets that bad...

I had my hands over my face and I was on my knees about ready to puke. I didn't even think to rebuke what he was saying. I knew it was true. It was good to have him around. When I got confused, he knew the answers.

"Well, how about this?" I said silently. "When there is no fight, when it's all said and done, winter or summer, you become human and then we can be together." I was sobbing by this point.

Rachel, I love you and I promise you.

"I love you too, Tobias. And I'll always be there. We won't have to be alone ever, I promise you."

He morphed human and we stayed in each other's arms until it was time for him to demorph. I think no matter how close we get, physically or emotionally, this is when we were the closest. After that, we flew back to the valley and planned our next mission........


Tobias - in the time of book #54


And if you come, when all the flowers are dying

And I am dead, as dead I well may be

You'll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.


Well, Rachel, I did as you said. When there is no fight, when it's all said and done, winter or summer, I'll become human. I did it, Rachel, as I promised. I'm human. I did it because I don't have to worry about you anymore. It's all said and done.

I think you'll like the epitaph the Animorphs and I came up with. Each one of us came up with one word to describe you and used it for your epitaph.

Brave, from Jake. Friend, from Cassie. Warrior, from Ax. Beautiful, from Marco. I came up with Lover. It reads like this: Brave, Friend, Warrior, Beautiful, and Lover. We put it on a rock in the secret valley.

The valley still has it's magical ability to disappear. I guess that way we can have our own place. The valley's magical ability seems to represent a place where a person is not one form or another. A person is what is in there soul. A soul takes no shape and does not conform to anything, but you still recognize it when you see it. What's interesting is that I read in the Bible that when two people are married they become one flesh. I know we weren't married, but I think our souls connected in that special way to make ONE soul, neither a hawk or human soul, but something so beautiful no one on this earth or any other could imagine!

I knelt on the ground. I thought I should look down, but instead I looked up. I don't know why. Soon, I started to pray.

Dear Lord,

I've never really spoken to you before, but I know you know who I am. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one who made this all happen. Don't worry, I'm not angry at anything you did. In the city, someone gave me a Bible. I started reading it and am amazed at the events that happened in ancient times. I was surprised to learn that the Bible relates to real life. I can relate to people like David, Gideon, the disciples, the apostles. You called them and they came. Even Jesus wanted to back out of your plan. They could have said no, but they knew someone else would take their place. They knew if their replacement paid the ultimate price, the blood would be on the God - denier's hands.

I realized that during the war. When Rachel said I was crazy for being a bird, I knew I had to stay because I couldn't leave her to be my replacement. I loved her was all.

I want you to tell Rachel that I still love her. She's probably in among your soldiers. I read about the Battle of Armageddon. :) Lord, can she hear me? Can she hear me cry at night? Can she hear my angry words when I expect her to be there? Wait a minute, don't answer that.

Just tell her that I'm still here.

Amen.


Tobias - same time as before


And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me

And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be

If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.


Your gravestone is dirty, I thought. It was kind of vain to think that, but it was. I couldn't get it out of my mind for a few minutes.

Just tell her I'm still here. Amen.

"I remember those few times you cried for me", I said as I grabbed a handkerchief to wipe off the stone. "No human eye could see the tears, but I could." I said. Just then it started raining. At first, I noticed it was cleaning off the stone, then I realized it was falling only on me and the marker. Anybody would guess that it was rain, but I knew where it came from. I was still the only one who could see her tears.

"I love you, Rachel." I said. I got up and immediately it stopped raining and a single ray of sunlight fell upon me and the gleaming stone.

She knew I was still here. Her dreams would be kinder knowing that I was still here and I would never be alone. I also know that when she wakes up I will be with her.


I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me......












A/N: I had a real message to send here. Did it get through? PLEASE R/R and TELL me!!!!!

Disclaimer of a different sort: I have not read the last four books out of fear of crying my eyeballs out or becoming homicidal against Miss Applegate. So, I don't know how Rachel died or if the war was won or lost or stalemated, so please allow respective errors in plotline.