Disclaimer: Pooh!
XXX
Devi D. stared out the window of her apartment, looking down at the people walking by in the rain. She grumbled at herself.
"Devi, you stupid thing. How could you let this happen?" she asked herself, looking down on a dog lifting its leg on a nearby fire hydrant, a man with a yellow umbrella, an empty car. Nothing of interest, but looking out the window helped her forget her internal problems she was facing right now. She sighed.
She was shaken out of her stupor by the phone ringing. She stared at it for a few rings, and then walked over and picked it up. She stood there wordlessly for a moment.
"Hello?
"Devi? Please don't hang up. It's..it's Johnny."
Devi's heart gave a stupid little jolt.
"Johnny? What do you want?" she asked dazedly, hoping that he couldn't read minds.
"I wanted to apologize again. Needless to say, my last attempt at an apology didn't come out so well," Nny said. He sounded slightly nervous.
"Yes, I was thought you would try again," Devi said tensely, messing with the phone cord.
"Will you forgive me?"
"Yes. I suppose so," Devi said in what she hoped was a casual manner.
"Devi, I feel terrible for what I did and...I hope we can be friends," Nny's voice came though the phone in Devi's hand, sounding like he was right beside her. She closed her eyes and tried to captivate that feeling.
"Yes, we can still be friends if you don't try to kill me again," Devi said, he heart doing an annoying thumping routine in her chest.
"We can have a lovely friendship if we can forget the past...though I know it's hard," Nny said, his familiar voice sounding so pleasant to Devi's ears, surprising to even herself.
"Yes...friendship," Devi said, squeezing her eyes shut.
Yes," Nny said, which was followed by a long silence. Devi opened her eyes and looked back out the window. She sighed softly, so that Nny wouldn't hear her.
"Devi? Are you alright?"
"Yes. Fine."
Devi felt so stupid. Why couldn't she just say it? Maybe he'd say the same thing if she could just..but probably not, since he was talking about being friends. But maybe he was just doing the same thing she was.
"Devi? Are you still there?"
"Yes I'm here."
'And I'm denying my feelings right now, do you mind?'
"Are you sure you're alright?"
'No.'
"Yes. I'm sure."
Devi couldn't really deny how she was feeling right now. She tried to avoid it. The feeling was so strong. It was crazy. She had to refuse it...
"Devi? You're quiet."
"I'm still here. Don't worry."
'Deny it Devi. He's offering you friendship. Just take that and forget how you really feel.'
"Devi? You OK today? Sounds like you've got something on your mind."
"I do."
"Can you tell me what it is?"
"Nny?"
"Yes. What is it Devi?"
"I-I can't let myself be your friend."
"Why not?"
"Because...it's because I love you."
XXX
That was kind of foolish.
