Disclaimer: *mournful look* I still have 12 more disclaimers to do for this story unless I decide to be lazy and refer everyone back to the last disclaimer. Which is starting to look like a very tempting prospect…
Look the Other Way
PM *hiding behind a couch*: Are they gone yet?
Yami: Actually, they just came. (a/n: He's taking an unnatural enjoyment in PM's suffering)
PM: AHHH! *ducks* Please don't kill me anyone! I'm sorry I broke them up, I really am!
Ryou: LIAR! *slightly unhinged by the tranquilizer he got hit with*
PM: O_O Somebody ask Ryuuji-kun to check his tranquilizer dosages or I'll take that gun away from him… Anywho, chapter takes place on Sunday, namely Sunday afternoon. ^-^ Enjoy!
Anyhow, I would like to thank rayemars-san for her wonderful beta-reading *GLOMP*, as well as fani90 (:P Demo, my profile is quite boring), No Name (*laughs herself sick from the dream* I told Kei-kun about it, and she adored it! *laughs*), Wildwolf (Gomen for not replying to your e-mail yet! Me so lazy… -_-;;), Sad Andy (^^;; I hope I don't dissapoint you), Shenya (Craziness is fun! Especially when you scare a lot of people at school… *long story*), tuulikki (^_^ Well, I missed all of you too! :P), AB, dragoneyes, Shikou Yamitsuki, Sailor Comet (*glomp* Yea! Glad to have you around for the insanity… ^^;;), Amiasha (Yuugi majored in innocent cuteness and dueling… *ducks rotten veggies*) Neko-chan (*innocent grin* Nani, Neko-chan-chan? And no bribing me! Your offers are wayyyy too tempting…), Sam Baku (Ahhh… your computer sounds more evil then mine! O_o), Erfaciel (*bonks with mallet* No, you may not keep this fic! Unless you want to write the rest of it… *impish grin*), Shade Azuna (Seto was a bad boy. *nods* He was found sleeping with Otogi… AHHH! *runs away from everybody…. I WAS KIDDING!), and Dani (Yeah… they are old! O_O You should have seen me debating whether Sugoroku would be dead or not… :p). But for everybody… it really was great seeing all of you again! I missed getting your replies and I felt all lonely for the past month… :P Arigatou na, mina-san!!
~ Illusion ~
The morning did not start off too well, although I suppose that it's not that much of a surprise… considering everything else that has been going on, at least.
Anyhow, since I didn't have time to yesterday, I decided to take a shower this morning. The night had been as pleasant as one could expect from seeing friends after eight years. I must admit that I often forget that friendship is one of the best ways to escape bad memories, as it takes your mind off of the unpleasant things in life and allows you to dangle in a world where you jabber blithely and with no concerns to deal with.
It's a very nice situation, even though I know that it's unrealistic. And it's worse when you're having the time of your life and suddenly, in the back of your mind, a little whisper of doubt echoes through your brain and refuses to let go of the stranglehold it has, causing a small cloud of depression to drift over your head for the rest of the night.
It was to be expected.
Basically, after we helped Honda-kun with the groceries and I had a chance to settle down for about an hour, the three of us went out to join the others for dinner. It was really nice seeing everyone again, and even nicer that we all got to be together. Although I guess that I really can't say 'everyone' since Malik-kun, Rishid-san, and Isis-san weren't there… but that's because they're still in Egypt and only come once in a while when the time is convenient. Then again, I was never very close to them, despite the deal that Yami Bakura made with Malik-kun… a deal that more or less went to pieces when Yami no Malik took over Malik-kun's body and wreaked havoc for the duration of Battle City until he was more or less confined to the belly of a shadow monster. [1]
I wonder if it's the same one that ate me…
I can't help but shiver and quickly shake off that thought, although I admit that I really don't remember any of that. All I do remember is waking up feeling a bit groggy in Mai-san's room. Mai-san was unconscious… I later found out that it was because of a batsu game that Yami no Malik had played… and so I sat with her, waiting for her to wake up. Heh, I remember Jyounouchi-kun's reaction when he thought that Mai-san was still unconscious… he started screaming and looked ready to cry until she suddenly woke up and started laughing! Of course, she had warned me beforehand, which made it very hard to keep a straight face when Jyounouchi-kun went into hysterics… [2]
Anyhow, this morning I went into the bathroom to take a shower… and what I found was a new, unopened bottle of shampoo. Glittery, sparkly shampoo. Before I knew what I was doing, I stalked out of the bathroom in order to hunt down Otogi-kun and found him drinking melted marshmallows in hot chocolate. I have no idea how he can drink that stuff, nor do I have any idea how Honda-kun can let him drink that stuff, but that's a different story.
"You hate me, don't you?" I demanded, glaring angrily. If I really could stare daggers, Otogi-kun would be skewered by now, and I couldn't truthfully say that I would be depressed or guilty.
"Huh?" he croaked back, sounding like he has a frog down his throat. It is only because of university that I know he always sounds like that in the morning, rather than actually being sick and needing a trip to the emergency room.
He blinked at me as if I was insane and had forgotten to take my medication, which probably isn't that far off from the truth seeing that I am most likely insane and I don't take any pills. However, this only caused my eyebrow to twitch, somewhat like how Yami-kun's eyebrow twitches whenever Yami Bakura pisses him off. Which is pretty often.
"This… this… thing!" my voice came out as a high-pitched squeak, something that was rather embarrassing but I didn't bother to pause, "What is this?!"
He stared at me for a moment longer, then back at the bottle of Fairydust shampoo, then back at me.
"That's yours."
"It is not."
"Yes it is," he took another swig from that disgusting concoction which I swear is going to get him killed one day, "A little before college graduation, you lent me a bottle of your shampoo. But you left before I could return it."
"Are you telling me that you saved a bottle of shampoo for over eight years?!" I screech like a chicken about to get its head cut off, And you're making me use it now?!
"No. I finished using it and since you're back, I bought you another one to repay you for the old one."
I stared at him for a moment longer before stalking off to the bathroom.
I swore I heard him laughing a couple seconds later. Which only increased this insane, murderous rage within me… for reasons I simply cannot conceive.
Reasonably enough, I was in a pretty rotten mood, a mood that has not been kind enough to fade away yet. Perhaps it seems a bit… idiotic to be mad about something like that, but I still think that Otogi-kun did it on purpose. The only other person who gave me that shampoo was….
My thoughts cut off sharply there, as if his name is poison. It's gotten to the point where I've avoided using his name so long that it's a wonder I can still remember it.
Otogi-kun has always been a subtle person, so I know for sure that the shampoo was a message. He isn't the type of person who is so obsessive with small details that he would remember an unreturned bottle of shampoo after eight years, knowledge that only serves to cement the fact that he's trying to do… something. I don't quite know what, but I have a feeling that whatever it is, it'll be in my best interest to stay very far away from it.
After all, I hate it when I'm being manipulated like this. Especially since I know that I haven't gone through all of the crap in life only to be strung up and danced around like a puppet on strings.
~ * ~
Although my friends have not changed much over the past couple years, the same cannot be said of Domino City. Despite my reassurances to Otogi-kun that I'm not so pathetic that I need to be led around by the hand, I have now discovered that some of his guidance might actually have been accepted, especially since I now feel like I've been dropped onto an alien planet. Absolutely nothing is familiar except a few important landmarks such as the high school and the train station… but everything seems to have changed.
The hamburger restaurant where Yuugi-kun and Jyounouchi-kun found Anzu working at (also the restaurant where Yami-kun first rescued her from an escaped convict, which resulted in Anzu falling in love with her 'hero') [3] is no longer there. Instead, there's a small game store that sells, among other items, M&W and DDD. And speaking of game shops, Yuugi-kun's ji-san [4] finally had to close his shop due to competition, but he was 82 at the time and definitely deserved retirement. The game shop is still there, and Yuugi-kun's okaasan lives there with ji-san, although they are never at loss for company since Yuugi-kun and Anzu drop by to say hello quite often.
I dropped in briefly to say hello, much to their surprise and I suppose my own. I wasn't really planning on doing that, but I like ji-san and Yuugi-kun's okaasan is a very nice person. In the back of my mind, Yami no Bakura grumbled, but I tuned him out. He doesn't like ji-san very much (not to imply that he likes many people), and I think the feeling is mutual despite the fact that Yami no Bakura helped Yuugi-kun win against Otogi-kun in DDD. [5]
The Black Crown's ashes are no longer there, as they were long ago covered by another building. The fire that Otogi-kun's otousan accidentally caused due to a hallucination caused by the Sennen Puzzle completely destroyed the place, and it was lucky that the firefighters got it extinguished before it spread to other buildings. The ownership of the new building has changed hands several times, and currently it is a Chinese food restaurant.
Otogi-kun must be pleased about that… I've learned long ago not to stand between him and his favorite Chinese foods, or else risk impalement by chopsticks.
I don't know how I did it, but I somehow walked to almost every significant place in Domino City. Some were still there, like Domino futou [6], the port where the Duelist Kingdom ship had left from and where the Death Anchor battle between Jyounouchi-kun and Yuugi-kun took place. Others, like the hospital where I spent a lovely day in nursing a cut that Yami no Bakura had made himself, are no longer there, moved or replaced or just allowed to decay. It's almost depressing, but I suppose that we are all deadened to thinking that way. After all, isn't that what progress is about, to be a bit cynical? Moving into the present and ignoring the past as it rots into something unrecognizable?
Yet, above the rising city line of Domino, stands the new symbol of Japan technology business. It's inescapable, standing there for all to see its suffocating, pressuring presence. Everywhere you turn it waits, a cruel little sign that seems to follow me no matter where I go.
I don't need to look in a mirror to see the mask my face has twisted itself into.
I can't help but wonder though… is he up there on that tallest floor, looking down on the streets like a god who can change the world with the flick of a finger? Who can make and break a person, depending on his mood?
Although I try not to think about him anymore, it's impossible to just forget four years of a life. Impossible to forget those feelings and emotions that have embedded themselves within me along with memories of a time long lost but refused to be forgotten.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. [7]
Who was the American writer who wrote that line? I read one of his books when I was taking a refresher course in the English language, getting ready to integrate myself into a new culture that was quite different from the one I was used to. I remember the book… it was about a young man who devoted his life to winning back the love of a former girlfriend, who was already married, but he was too caught up in his impossible dream to be able to realize that it was useless.
Am I to be doomed to be like him? Why can't I let go of my past dreams either?
I blink at the huge letters above me, probably looking like a total idiot standing there in the middle of the street staring at something that has become all too commonplace for everyone who lives here. When something becomes familiar, it starts to fade away from the vision and then from the mind, until you look at something and never bother to think about what is there and what is not. The mind ceases to care, too caught up in its own workings to worry about a sign that has no impact on the life that is so fleeting it rarely ends up making a difference to more than a few people.
I understand why he does it, although understanding does not necessarily make the pain go away. But although I stand here half torn between wanting to curse him or hiding from him for the rest of my life, I can still… sympathize.
Being under such public scrutiny is difficult for anyone, and although we often forget it, the appearance does not necessarily show the reality. Perhaps he seemed fine with who he was, but eventually he broke and left us with where we are now. I can't understand as well because I've never been in his position before (not exactly, anyhow), but I have managed to get the basic gist of it.
Suddenly, I am abruptly forced out of my reverie by a red-faced, angry man who did not take my standing in the middle of the sidewalk not moving very well. He starts to curse me fluently as my face turns red and everyone stops to stare at us as if it's a freak show.
Perhaps I should charge money.
I quickly apologize, which is barely audible over the fury of his curses and insults, and slip away from the crowd to take shelter in the closest store. Even as I walk through the door and it shuts behind me, I can still faintly hear his angry cries, directed at a person who is no longer there. I wonder if he even noticed that I am gone, or if he just needed to vent his anger and has gotten too caught up in his words to notice that the subject of his rage has long ago escaped, leaving him ranting there like a madman.
To be truthful, I'm not that sympathetic. If there was ever need to be in the first place.
~ * ~
I don't know how long I wandered around in my chosen safe haven before I realized that it was a department store… but I think it was sometime after I nearly walked out of that section of the store with approximately fifteen anime music CDs… none of which I had paid for. Luckily, the security guard glared at me in time, and I appropriately blushed and slinked back to return the CDs to their rightful places before rushing out of the store, all the while feeling the guard's eyes glaring into my back until I turned the corner into the next area. [8]
However, upon doing so, I realized that it was actually quite convenient 'cause I needed to suck up to several disgruntled friends of mine anyway. And since I was already here and there was no reason to put it off since I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I might as well finish all my shopping before pleasantly shoving it all out of my mind.
I've always hated shopping for people because I feel inadequate. As soon as I realize that a birthday or any one of those major gift-giving holidays is coming up, I'm absolutely petrified due to the usual rising bout of lousy self-confidence. It's just that I can't help but stand in a store, remembering all those wonderful things that I really wanted that my friends gave me… and I can't for the life of me think of what I should get for them. It seems odd that I should feel that way since they're all very good friends, but I do. My mind just shuts down and I can't think of a single thing they want. Sometimes I wish that they would just give me a shopping list of wants and I'll be able to figure it out from there, but unluckily for me, that ruins the element of surprise and besides, the thought is supposedly more important than the gift.
Feel free to prove me wrong at any time.
I scowl bitterly at the stacks and stacks of manga that literally cover two walls and several more bookshelves. A friend of mine was interested in obtaining some, and since it's more expensive back in America, I promised her I would get some. But since I'm no expert in shoujo manga [9], I have no idea what to get for her.
I have only heard of a couple of these manga, especially the more popular CLAMP creations like Cardcaptor Sakura or personal favorites of friends like DN Angel. But most of these, I have never seen or heard of in my life. It's at times like this that I wish Anzu was a little less tomboy-ish and read shoujo manga 'cause maybe then I would have heard of some of these. And it doesn't help that the salesgirl keeps watching me, and I feel completely out of place.
Which isn't anything new, I suppose. In fact, if I should ever be crazy enough to write a book of my life, a vast majority of it will probably involve me feeling as much out of place as a daisy growing in the middle of a thorn bush.
Some time in the midst of all these usual depressing thoughts, I find myself blinking at a manga that causes me to jolt with the sudden flow of memories which I have been carefully keeping locked away (as best to my ability as I could, although that really isn't very much).
"Kaitou Saint Tail" by Tachikawa Megumi.
It's not a very long manga, especially compared to some of the others out there. For example, Detective Conan is well past a conceivable number, as is other popular manga like Shaman King and One Piece. "Kaitou Saint Tail" is only seven volumes long, and it was one of the first manga to be translated to English when manga (known as graphic novels) started coming out in America. But that isn't what I remember about them, it's the other things…
He liked this manga.
I read it once, and I must admit that it is very good although it reminds me greatly of Magic Kaito by Aoyama Goushou. The story of an eighth grade student, Haneoka Meimi, who was a 'kaitou'–a fandom word for 'phantom thief'—who stole from the villains in order to return prized possessions to their rightful owners. And always in the background, vainly trying to catch her to accomplish a dream that was impossible to fulfill, was a detective, Asuka Daiki--known more commonly as Asuka Jr.--who was so clueless that he never figured out that the little thief was his own classmate until he finally caught her.
One of the things I could never understand about that manga was why Asuka Jr. and the other police never took her robberies one step further. What I mean by this is that Saint Tail sent 'calling cards' to Asuka Jr. telling him what she was about to steal, but although he knew that she only stole things that were already stolen from legitimate owners, he never bothered to figure out why she was going to steal before she actually committed the robbery. It always seemed so obvious to me that I am constantly surprised that he never bothered to think that way.
Or… perhaps he did think that way, but he was so driven to catch his phantom that he ignored that ringing, prominent fact.
My fingers brush lightly against the spine of the book, gently, as if I'm worried that the book will suddenly jump and bite off my fingers. What an amusing headline that would be! Person gets fingers eaten off by monster book! See page 12 for details! It sounds like something out of that English children's book Harry Potter.
"Tousama [10] named me after the main character in that manga," a voice suddenly interrupts me out of my reverie.
Much to my embarrassment, I yelp and jump, startled, as if the book really had bitten me. Immediately, cheeks flushed and a lovely shade of crimson red, I turn to apologize, only to realize that I'm staring at empty air.
I don't know how long it took me to figure out that the sweetly childish voice had come not from next to me, but from behind me and at a different height level, but I'm sure that it was an embarrassingly long amount of time and I wouldn't have been surprised if she was already gone.
But she wasn't, and I found myself staring at a little girl who looked about six or seven. Her large blue eyes were sparkling innocently and she had long brown hair that was tied back… just like Saint Tail, although Saint Tail's hair was orange rather than brown.
I can't help it, but I just stare at her, at a total loss for words before my brain desperately clings for the first thing that I can think of which sounds somewhat intelligent.
"So then your name must be Meimi, right?" I ask as I crouch down so I'm eye level to her. Her face blossoms into a radiant smile which makes you feel special that you're being honored with it.
Only one other person had a smile that could make me feel that way. Like I was the only person that mattered at the moment, and that he really did care.
And one by one the illusions disappear until there is nothing left but an empty shell.
"Hai!" she grins, her voice filled with such cheer that I can't help but smile myself, "Tousama likes that manga, so he's always telling me that he named me after it. And he tells me that he's waiting for me to reach eighth grade before he gets me a costume so I can dress like her and perform magic tricks." Her face scrunches up in a slightly disgusted look, as if embarrassed by her father's childishness, but I can only laugh.
"He sounds wonderful," I find myself saying before I can stop myself, and I glance up to see if her father or mother is there, perhaps looking at the novels.
It ends up being much more than a glance, especially when I realize that there is nobody there. Nobody that looks like they could be remotely related to her, at least, and nobody that seems the least interested in the concept that his (or her) daughter is talking to a stranger, a stranger that could very well be a crazed, deranged serial killer who is about to kidnap his daughter.
Meimi-chan, who is apparently very perceptive, a characteristic that surprises me in such a young child, follows my glance and immediately figures out what I am trying hard not to say.
"I lost tousama," the way she words it makes both of us smile. It almost sounds as if her father is the one who is lost (and is going to be gently scolded as soon as he is found) while she is the one doing the searching (and will be doing the scolding when it comes down to it) rather than the other way around!
"You lost him?" I repeat, still smiling, "Shouldn't you use your magic to find him then, just like Saint Tail does when somebody loses something precious to them?"
"I forgot my top hat in the car," she replies with wide-eyed innocence as she refers to the top hat that is the basis for most of Saint Tail's magic tricks before slipping her hands onto mine, "Can you help me find him?"
Of course, it's not possible to refuse such an offer, so I nod and stand up, her hand clenching mine protectively.
"My name is Ryou, Meimi-chan," I introduce, "We're going to go to the front desk and wait for your otousan there, okay? Because there isn't much point in wandering around the store. But I'll stay with you until he comes and if he doesn't, I'll be more than happy to adopt you."
I assure you that I am in no way kidding, although I suppose that it'll be odd if I go back to Otogi-kun and Honda-kun's place with Meimi-chan. Not only will it raise quite a few awkward questions, but I have a feeling that any loving parent would hunt us down, especially for someone as sweet as Meimi-chan.
She giggles, apparently at ease with a total stranger. I can't help but wonder why it is that she trusts so easily, or is this a quality that is in most children, but quickly suppressed as reality takes its bitter toll?
"Hai, Ryou-san."
How can she make me smile so much with a few words? It's so disturbingly familiar, but it's hard to feel ill at ease when you're with someone like Meimi-chan. It's like being with a real life version of Kinomoto Sakura in Cardcaptor Sakura, who was so cluelessly innocent that you couldn't help but be endeared by everything about her.
However, there was always that nagging little thought… what will it be like for her when she grows up and realizes that the world around her isn't as pleasant as she? For although she can be the most darling thing out there, it certainly doesn't mean that the rest of the world will acknowledge and treat her as thus. And it makes me quite sad to realize that it's almost impossible for her to remain as she is, although we all wish she could.
But then again, who needs age?
Seriously, is it really necessary to grow up? Perhaps it is not realistic, but it is a pleasant thought… Just try to imagine a world where we all have those wonderful characteristics of children that we do not notice until we no longer have them. Innocence, simple trusting, the ability to enjoy what is there rather than longing for things that are no longer there.
~ * ~
The department store was huge and I'm not quite sure how many times we got lost and walked around in circles. But I have to admit that it was the most fun we've had in a while, especially when Meimi-chan put on a Pikachu mask that had light-up cheeks and had me wear an identical mask (in adult size) on my own face.
I think the security guards and sale clerks thought we were insane.
Anyhow, we finally managed to reach the main hallway after getting lost in the clothing department, toy section, book store (twice), music department, and quite a few other places that I don't even remember! But I have to admit that it was quite amusing and entertaining, and I really didn't mind getting lost although I should have been able to maneuver myself.
Perhaps it was a bit of a bad idea to let Meimi-chan lead, but she really wanted to and kept insisting that she knew where she was going.
"We're almost there, Meimi-chan," I inform her as we pause to look at a map, something we should have done a long time ago but simply didn't bother to.
"Yay! Then you can meet tousama!" she starts tugging on my hand towards the front desk, "Come on, Ryou-san! It's just around the corner!"
I laugh, "Don't worry, I'm not going to leave…"
Before I can finish the sentence, a familiar voice cuts me off as its owner yells, "What do you mean you can't?! Don't you understand that this is an emergency?! She's only seven, and she's by herself! And if you think I'm going to just wait around here for her to wander over you…"
"Tousama!"
The pit of my stomach drops out as shocked blue eyes… his blue eyes immediately come up and look in our direction, look at us.
And then those piercing blue eyes which I have not seen for eight long years look at me again, and I quickly realize that eight years simply weren't long enough.
They haven't changed since the last time I saw them, I realize dumbly… not at all. They still cut through the skin and head straight for the soul, dissecting every part of my personality and processing the information in less than ten seconds flat. I've seen them filled with a multitude of emotions, from anger to bliss to anxiety to confusion to…
Shock.
He hasn't changed. My mind is numb as I stare into his eyes, that intense shade of blue which could seem so cold and full of life at the same time. He hasn't changed at all, has he? He still looks the same, the light skin and caramel-colored hair tamed. It isn't always like that, you know. His hair isn't always submissive to his whims. How many times have I woken up to see his hair sticking out in every direction, a sight that made me laugh myself sick the first time I saw it… resulting in him hitting me with a pillow, thus initiating a pillow fight and involving quite a few feathers flying in different directions?
I should have known. Oh Kami-sama, how dumb can I be?
"Will Kaiba Meimi please come to the front desk. Will Kaiba Meimi please come to the front desk?" a cold, mechanicalized voice asks several moments too late. Much too late… how long have I been standing here frozen in shock as I stare at the man I was hoping I would avoid for the rest of the trip?
She has his eyes, his hair, his smile. That smile that was so rare it always made me feel good inside. But it wasn't so rare when we were around each other… he didn't mind smiling. Does he know how happy it made me feel to see him smile? Did he ever know?
Oh Kami-sama… oh Kami-sama. How can this be happening? It wasn't supposed to happen… it was never supposed to happen. Not like this, not like… anything. We just weren't supposed to meet… Domino City is a big place! What are the odds that I would meet him in a big department store?!
He doesn't even need to go shopping, does he?!
"Ryou-san? Tousama?" I can hear the confusion in Meimi-chan's voice as she looks from one to the other (at least, I assume that is what she is doing). I can only stare at…
Seto.
The name is whispered in my mind, barely audible over the chaos that my thoughts are generating as they stumble over each other to make themselves known. And rising above them all, squeaky and desperate, is the thought that this just can't be happening. That it's so impossible and so surreal that any moment… any moment now… he'll fade and disappear and leave me alone to deal with all of this in peace.
As if.
"Ryou…"
His voice saying my name… before I know it, I'm snapped out of my cage of frosty ice and I finally drop Meimi-chan's hand, which I had been clutching so tightly that I'm surprised she was able to handle the pressure. Why is he saying my name? Why now? It hurts so much to hear it from his lips.
And with barely a word of apology to Meimi-chan, who I'm sure is ready to cry from frustration due to confusion of her father and new friend's actions, I turn and literally run away. There's a sharp cry of protest from Seto… Kaiba-kun… Kaiba-kun… but he doesn't matter anymore as I push the heavy glass doors away and escape into the crowd, praying that he doesn't see my white hair which I am sure stands out too much… I walk as quickly as I can to avoid him seeing me… or if he does see me, avoid any further contact by putting enough distance between us that he won't be able to catch up even if he sees where I'm going.
Kaiba Meimi… Saint Tail. He introduced me to Saint Tail… why wasn't I able to take all this information one step further and figure out the connection?
But I didn't want to think that it was his… daughter. And wouldn't that imply he has a wife too?
I nearly start to laugh at that thought… And I have no idea why I want to.
~ * ~ Seto
I want to hurt the man standing before me. Hurt him very badly, but only common sense restrains me. And even then I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, especially when he starts to speak in an unsympathetic tone.
"I'm sorry, Kaiba-sama, but we simply cannot afford to send any employees to find your daughter. I will send out a message over the speaker so if anybody sees her, they will bring her here."
My teeth grit and I struggle to keep from slamming him into the wall.
"That is my daughter out there," I growl from between clenched teeth. Since he doesn't want to listen to polite words, I'll try and force my words through. Who knows what madman might have found her by now, and what he would do to her? And all this asshole can do is tell me that he'll send a message out to all the employees since he can't spare any right now? I'm about two seconds away from seeing red and more than willing to take out my anger on him.
"I am sorry, Kaiba-sama, but…"
"No, you are not sorry. You are not going to give me any of that crap. I don't want to hear any of that crap. What do you mean you can't?! Don't you understand that this is an emergency?!" My temper is starting to get the better of me, but it's understandable, "She's only seven, and she's by herself! And if you think I'm going to just wait around here for her to wander over you…"
"Tousama!"
I immediately turn and relief washes over me, gentle and soothing in its warmth. But… there's somebody with her, somebody that…
Oh dear lord.
It's you.
"Ryou…" the word comes out softly, but I can tell from your flinch that you heard it. It's barely noticeable, but I know you well enough to immediately see it. And I know your eyes well enough to know that you were not expecting this, that you didn't want this meeting and confrontation.
Understandable. If I was in your position, which I am not, I don't think I would want it either. But that's because I created it for both you and I, and I know that.
Your white hair hasn't changed, I realize dumbly. It seems that my eyes are the only things working right now, staring at you as if you are an illusion as my mind frantically works to tell itself that this is real and that you're not going to suddenly fade away into the air.
An unconscious glance shows me that Meimi is holding tightly to your hand, and I cannot help but think that she has similar tastes to her father. Was she drawn to your snowy white hair and soft blue eyes as I was when I first saw you back in Domino High? I still remember that, you know… I still remember every detail of it even though it's been an unbelievable amount of time since I last saw you.
I didn't want it to be this way…
And just as I am reading your face, you are reading mine. You are poring over every detail, every mark, every telling sign that will allow you to get a better look at what you have not seen for… how long has it been, Ryou? How long has it been since that morning?
Perhaps I should have called that day to ask if you were all right. But I already knew the answer to that question… for how could you be all right?
But I wasn't expecting you to just pack up and move… I didn't expect that from you. You didn't seem like that type of person, but… after that, I really shouldn't be surprised. At the time I thought nothing could surprise me or make me even more miserable than I was, but suddenly I got a call from the make inu [11] telling me that you were gone and the usual threats which have become so common and stale that I brush them off without even bothering to listen and acknowledge them.
I should have though. I should have known you well enough to comprehend the multitude of his words.
Suddenly, you smile sadly… but not at me, of course not at me. I don't exactly deserve it, not after what I did to you, and I can't help but acknowledge that you are right there. No, your smile is directed to Meimi, who is staring at you with confusion and a complete lack of comprehension.
An unconscious acknowledgement of her feelings quickly flicker in your eyes, and I know that if you can, you will try to make it up to her.
And before I completely acknowledge your presence, for I still feel as if I'm staring at a mere illusion of a life I had once, you turn and run towards the exit.
Millions of thoughts run through my head as you flee, and I don't know which one I should yell at you. It's Meimi's birthday on Friday… I bet you didn't know that. How could you, unless she told you? But that's why we were here today… I wanted to get her something, but I turned away for one moment and she was gone, and then the fear swept me up in its chilling embrace. You know I don't get scared often, so you must know how scared I was… I was even more scared than the time Mokuba was kidnapped by Pegasus.
But then once again you assuaged my fears when you appeared with her, her hand clenched so protectively around yours, as if she unconsciously knew exactly whom she had found.
Did she know? I wonder… I wonder sometimes if she knows the real reason why it never worked out between her mother and myself.
I couldn't love her mother. I couldn't love somebody that way when I was already love with someone else and had been for so long. And apparently still am.
Suddenly, I take off running after him, yelling for Meimi to stay put and that spineless idiot to watch over her, trying to reach Ryou before he can disappear again. Before I can allow him to disappear out of my life again, when all I ever wanted was for him to stay in it.
But I couldn't… doesn't anybody understand? Don't I understand? It just wouldn't have worked, it wasn't meant to work. It was a dream that we both harbored… a delightful dream but an impossible one.
Why can't I understand?
I push the doors open, ignoring the stares I'm receiving as I stare at the sea of heads, trying to see that familiar burst of white which always stood out above everyone.
That's what fascinated me so much about you, Ryou… you stood out. You stood out with that white hair and those soft blue eyes which seemed to harbor some secret sadness which refused to be alleviated except under special circumstances… I always prided myself in making that sadness leave… but it's there again. Stronger and more deeply embedded than it had been before, and I know that it's my fault.
There's a little bit of white at the end of the street… at least, I think there is, but the sun is in my eyes and I can barely see over the glare of the sunlight.
Is it you?
Even if it is you, I realize, you are too far away to allow me to catch up without leaving Meimi alone with that idiot for longer than I trust him to. In fact, I'm already getting worried about her safety.
You probably did that on purpose… walked so fast so I wouldn't be able to catch up.
I want to try though. Do you know that, Ryou? I want to try to catch my dream even though it's as impossible as trying to catch a star from the heavens to place in a jar as a gift to a lover….
Translations and Notes:
[1] Yami no Malik takes over Malik in volume 25 after Rishid goes unconscious during his battle with Jyounouchi. Yami no Malik is eaten in volume 31 after Malik forfeits the duel to Yami no Yuugi.
[2] Batsu game is translated to 'punishment game'. Although Yami no Yuugi sometimes uses 'Mind Crush', he usually plays a batsu game, as does Shaadii, Yami no Bakura, Pegasus J. Crawford, and Yami no Malik. Basically, the only Sennen item holder I haven't seen playing a punishment game is Isis. Anyhow, the part about Mai's joke on Jyounouchi-tachi is from volume 31, shortly after the duel between Yami no Yuugi and Yami no Malik.
[3] Reference to volume 1. Some people may remember this episode in the anime, although it was changed quite a bit from the manga. Contrary to the dub, Yuugi and Jyounouchi did not give Anzu a letter saying they found an abandoned warehouse which she could use as a studio. What actually happened is that she got a note from an anonymous source saying that if she didn't do what the letter told her to, then her 'secret' would be exposed. On the back of the note was a picture of her in her work outfit. Basically, students are not allowed to work or they will be expelled (in reference to Jyounouchi delivering newspapers, he explains to Anzu that he got special permission from the school to work in order to pay for his own tuition). Anyhow, Anzu thinks that the note came from Yuugi or Jyounouchi, so she's really mad when she goes to the designated place only to find a pervert with a video camera. Yuugi, I assume, followed her and Yami ends up rescuing her.
[4] I actually do not know what Ryou calls Sugoroku, so I'm going to assume that he does what the others do and call him 'ji-san'. I could be wrong though… (I know that in the anime, Yami no Bakura calls Sugoroku 'jiji', but my guess is that that's very rude.)
[5] Reference to volume 16-17. In order to get revenge on Sugoroku, Ryuuji's father had Yuugi arrested for shoplifting and then Yuugi and Ryuuji played DDD to win ownership of the Sennen Puzzle. Yami no Bakura comes in towards the end of volume 16 and helps Yuugi win.
[6] Futou is a shortened version of the Japanese word for 'harbor' or 'port', so basically it's just Domino harbor.
[7] The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Had to read it for English class… my English teacher will be so thrilled… :p
[8] This is actually modeled after a department store that I went to. Basically, each section was specialized and you pay for what you want there before moving on to the next area.
[9] Shoujo is girl, so shoujo manga is manga that is directed towards girls. Shounen manga is manga directed towards guys, although girls often read them. Shounen Jump is also directed towards guys, but a lot of girls still read it.
[10] My reasoning for how Meimi calls her father is that Mokuba calls Seto 'niisama'. So instead of 'otousan' or 'chichi', I chose to imitate how Mokuba calls Seto for how Meimi would call Seto. So I took off the 'o' in 'otousan' and used the honorific 'sama' instead of just 'san'.
[11] Pathetic dog
PM *grins*: You know what? This is the chapter that inspired this story… I was working at the library when the scene where Ryou meets Meimi and takes her to the front desk where he sees Seto before the announcement comes across the speakers popped into mind and I realized I had to write this fic. *laughs* Volunteering at the library is probably bad for the health, ne? *nervous laugh as she ducks more rotten vegetables* And moving onto a completely different tangent, I have decided on something very important.
Yami: Oh Ra…
PM: Hushy. Anyhow, due to an enactment of the Great Depression in US History where I lost 80% of my 'money', I've decided it's not safe to put my money in the bank or invest in Wall Street. But due to the robbery in which my real money got stolen, it's not safe to leave my money in a little jewelry box that most people never notice. And since all the clothes in my parent's drawers were thrown out, it's not safe to stuff the money into a sock and stick it in the corner of a drawer. So I've decided to put all my money at the base of a Yu-gi-oh toy box (from the dub, no less), and then lie to everyone on-line about it.
Pikachumaniac
