Disclaimer: This little piggy went to the lawyer….
Look the Other Way
PM: *tries to send subliminal messages to all her readers* You will go watch Spirited Away. You will go watch "Spirited Away" as soon as you finish reading this chapter. You will watch it. You will.
Ryou: How about something pertinent to the chapter?
PM *keeps trying to send her message to the audience*: You are getting veryyyyyy sleepy. You wish to get away and watch Spirited Away. Yesssssssss.
Yami *knocks PM out*
Ryuuji: *snicker* Chapter takes place on Wednesday night. And maybe PM will come out to talk to you… if she's still alive by the end of the chapter.
PM *unconscious and STILL trying to spread the word… You willllll watch Spirited Away*
Anyhow, the usual thanks to rayemars-san for her editing :P, and to the reviewers! Sorry I don't have time for notes, but I'm in a rush, so I'll see you all next time! :)
~ Dancing Around Destiny ~
Lesson number thirty-eight when living with a certain black-haired nosy game inventor: getting flowers is a pleasant experience, but as soon as you get them… hide them. Hide them or prowling eyes will see them. And if prowling eyes see them, then you'll never get the end of it.
You would think that I was used to it after living in a small, cramped dorm room with a very suspicious Jyounouchi-kun, but I have come to discover that Otogi-kun and Jyounouchi-kun are very annoying in their own, special ways. And I hate them both very much for that.
"You got flowers," Otogi-kun announces in a sing-song voice as I enter the apartment after a deafeningly silent car trip back from Mokuba's home. Seto hadn't even been speaking on his cell phone, which was still a pretty common situation even when we were together. But maybe he's loosened up because of Meimi?
I just stare at him, blinking once or twice as I wonder if one of us have recently been taking hallucination-causing drugs and the effects are finally starting to catch up to us.
"I think they're from Kaiba," he continues brightly as he hands me a vase of long-stemmed roses. I just continue to stare at them as Otogi-kun mock-pouts, "Hiroto never gets me flowers."
"I heard that," Honda-kun calls from the living room, "And that's not true. I got you an orchid once."
"Only after Shizuka-chan rejected it."
"So?"
Otogi-kun sighs exaggeratedly, something that Honda-kun ignores. Half the time I can't help but wonder how the two manage to stay together, but as soon as the words run through my head, they go into another one of their displays of affection which always made us gag. It's not disgusting, per say, but they really need to show some restraint.
I'm proven correct as I walk to my room, still holding the vase way out before me as if the petals are being inhabited by poisonous insects. Kinda like the ones that Mai-san got trapped with after Yami no Malik's batsu no game [1]. I wouldn't be surprised… after all, how could it be possible that Seto was the one who sent me these flowers? He was with me for a vast majority of the day.
However, all these thoughts drop out of my head as Honda-kun snags Otogi-kun's wrist and proceeds to drag him into their bedroom. I never knew Honda-kun to be so… err… frisky?
Oh Kami-sama, where did that word come from?
I quickly shut the door to my room and strap on a pair of headphones before anything can happen. Not before, of course, setting down the vase on the desk. They're red, and each rose is as perfect as the last. They must have cost him a lot… if it was even him. I have a suspicion that it might be Otogi-kun or oniisan or somebody playing a prank on me. Because that's what it usually turns out to be. My friends in America always found it weird that I was still single, and they did everything from setting up blind dates to not-so-subtle hinted introductions to fake love letters. Which I always found out about because they weren't very good at keeping secrets, and the news would reach me sooner or later through the illustrious grapevine.
I never told them about Seto.
I didn't mean to do that… it's just that I didn't really want to think about him then. I had left Japan to establish a completely new life, and I didn't want anything holding me back.
But I don't think I succeeded. There's no way I could have, especially if I remained single. But there just wasn't anybody who could replace him… somebody who had the same odd quirks which made him so unique and… darling. Yes, darling. Singing anime theme songs, reading shoujo manga, watching Disney movies… who else? Well, there are probably lots of people who do that, but they're not Seto. They're not him. And I wanted him.
And I still do, but my mind is pulling me in a different direction.
Let's suppose, for one insane moment, that the roses really are from him. But what is he trying to say? He already apologized and I already rejected him. Why is he still trying to reach something that he has no chance of attaining? Or does he just know me better than I know myself?
Possibly. It's been my experience that none of us know who we are very well. We think we do but then we keep acting in ways that surprise only ourselves. It's a very annoying thing, if you ask me, but it's happened so often to me and the people I know that I don't really think about it these days.
But… those were usually small things. This is bigger. Much bigger. This can determine my future.
I sigh and have the strange desire to start hitting my head against the wall. But I know better than to do that. There was this girl in one of my classes who would do that when she got frustrated, and her head started bleeding. Not a very fun scenario, let me tell you that, but I learned not to hit my head on hard objects. Pillows and blankets, sure, but not hard objects. I already have very few brain cells, and there's no need to go off killing anymore than I need to.
I honestly, honestly don't understand myself and how my mind works.
Another sigh escapes my lips as I finally tear my eyes away from the roses, which stand there so innocently against a backdrop of the setting sun. Domino looks beautiful right now, all things considered… but still, why did I have to return? Why did I have to come back to face the things I didn't want to face anymore? There's only so much I can blame on oniisan and Jyounouchi-kun… in the long run, the blame ultimately falls to me. And even though I might try to ignore that fact, and I've done it many times, I am still the culprit that I'm searching for.
America is, supposedly, the land of opportunities. Of new beginnings, I suppose. Most of that is confined to the past and sometimes not even then, as we have many thousands of stories of America being anything but the golden world which had been so casually promised. But it was a new start for me, and I was able to establish myself there… with quite a bit of trouble, granted. I did what I always wanted to do though… wrote books describing the plight of the environment and in doing so, make enough money for a decent lifestyle.
I made new friends, some of which I have become very close to. Sure, it wasn't Yuugi-tachi, but nobody could be Yuugi-tachi. But the same applies the other way around. It's difficult to be somebody you're not. It's not impossible, certainly, but there's only so far you can live a lie before your nerves start to fray.
Could it be that I was starting to unravel? That this trip was not only opportune, but necessary to my mental state?
My mental state? Kat, who really isn't one to talk if I do say so myself, once told me that I should leave my brain to medical studies because they would have a field day trying to figure out what goes on in there. The way she said it, you would have thought that my brain was… multi-colored or something. Maybe interchanging maroon and hot green stripes, completed with sewage colored polka dots.
Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was.
~ * ~
A little while later, much to my complete amazement, I am sitting on the train on the way to a… karaoke bar. Currently, I am wedged between Honda-kun and the barrier. The subway is disgustingly crowded, and I'm finding it difficult to breath. In a few moments, I think I'll be finding myself claustrophobic.
This event is random and very much unexpected. I had been sitting on my bed, engrossed in a book, when suddenly Otogi-kun bounces in. When he saw me sitting there, his expression immediately became annoyed, "What are you still doing in bed?"
I stared before venturing nervously, "Reading?"
Apparently, this had not been the answer Otogi-kun was expecting, "Reading?! We need to go right now or we'll be late in meeting the others!"
My heart practically leapt out of my chest at that startling announcement, "What?!"
"The others. Remember?"
"NO!" I screamed.
Otogi-kun looks startled for a moment, "I didn't tell you? We're meeting the others at that karaoke bar close to the station in half an hour."
"What?!"
"Oh. I guess I didn't tell you."
My eyes nearly rolled up into the back of my head, but unfortunately I didn't faint like I was hoping to. It happens to be that I remembered that karaoke bar very well. Not only did Jyounouchi-kun nearly kill us from his singing (luckily for us, Mai-san was screaming at him so loudly that it almost drowned out his attempts), but I had a nosebleed when watching Seto sing a romantic song by Utada Hikaru [2]. Which, of course, led to teasing and scolding from Jyounouchi-kun, which nearly led to him getting pummeled into the ground. And meanwhile, I'm bleeding excessively into a tissue as Anzu and Yuugi-kun ran around trying to find something else I could bleed into. What ended up happening was Seto donating his shirt, which resulted in giving one of the girls a nosebleed as we left. [3]
He did not just say that we were going there.
But alas, it was not to be. Before I could squeak, Otogi-kun and Honda-kun took advantage of my momentary loss of thought by hauling me up and dragging me out of the apartment. And it wasn't until I found myself sitting here that I fully regained motor abilities. And of course, it's too late for me to escape now.
I want to get on my knees and scream one word.
Help!
~ * ~
"It's about time you guys made it," Jyounouchi-kun grumbles as we enter. All three of us can't help but roll our eyes… it's only two minutes past the designated time. There's really no reason to make a big deal out of it.
"It doesn't matter now, Jyounouchi-kun. Let's go get a room," Yuugi-kun suggests brightly. Anzu and Mai-san nod their agreement, and next to them, Seto just….
What is he doing here?!
I'm frozen as Jyounouchi-kun and Mai-san lead the others towards the room. The others minus Seto, of course.
"Hey," Seto smiles as he stands up and walks over.
"Hey," I squeak back in the most pathetic of voices. He is still smiling as he offers his hand.
For now, I can only stare at it. If there's one thing that both annoys and impresses me about Seto, it's that he has this amazing ability to ignore everything that could possibly be detrimental to his goals. Such as rejection, apparently.
A moment passes, but the hand is still there. He doesn't say anything, just continues to wait patiently. I realize now that it's my turn to make the move, and that I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for things to happen to me. It would be nice if that is the case, but… sometimes we just have to do things for ourselves.
I don't fully realize what I'm doing until I feel his hand clasp itself around mind. And for a moment, it's almost like we're back to a happier time where such doubts about our relationship didn't exist.
His smile broadens, and I can't help but smile slightly myself. It takes all my self-control not to just throw my arms around and embrace him, but I know I won't. That's just pushing it too far. After all, in less than two weeks… I'm going to be back on the plane and heading home. And maybe then I can pretend that this isn't happening.
I don't even know why I'm doing this right now. I should stop it before it goes too far….
"You guys coming?!" Jyounouchi-kun's voice interrupts. We both blink. Seto rolls his eyes and we walk towards the room, hand-in-hand.
In the back of my mind, the little voice is still screaming that this is wrong and shouldn't be happening. And the only thing I can say is that I'm very grateful that I'm able to ignore the little screeching voice, even though deep down I know that sooner or later, it's going to come back and bite me in a most unpleasant place.
Luckily for me, I proceed to ignore the little voice and walk over to the room, which Jyounouchi-kun reserved for us. It still amazes me that Jyounouchi-kun can be this organized, which I suppose says very little about my faith in him.
However, as soon as I walk into the room, I label Jyounouchi-kun demonic and insane.
The room is furnished with the usual things you find in karaoke bars, like comfortable couches, a karaoke machine (of course), some tables… and a DDR machine.
Oh no….
Anzu's eyes brighten as she sees the DDR machine. She is unable to dance right now with her load, but she never had any problem with making the rest of us dance. She even managed to get Yami-kun onto the stage once, a very interesting event. His face was bright red and it was apparent to us all that he wished he could be trapped in a room with Yami Bakura and Yami no Malik rather than being where he was.
And speaking of Yami Bakura, Anzu never managed to get him to try out DDR. Not that she ever tried, mind you. Anzu is much smarter than that, and she happens to value her life highly.
But DDR… short for Dance Dance Revolution… is one of the banes of my existence. I do not know what cruel person came up with the idea, but it is evil and should be destroyed. None of my experiences with DDR are good. They usually end with me falling and making a complete prat out of myself, or at the very least me doing something embarrassing. I nearly sprained an ankle on one of those devious contraptions. Like it or not, those machines are dangerous and I wouldn't mind avoiding them for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, DDR is not as accommodating as I wish it was because it keeps showing up everywhere! I swear, it follows me! The local movie theater back at home had a DDR machine, and my friends would not listen to my protests that I am uncoordinated. They wouldn't believe me until they saw for themselves. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I nearly burnt down the movie theater with my missteps.
Honda-kun also sighs as he looks at the DDR machine with apprehension. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I am not the only one who is capable of causing property damage when on one of those machines. If I am dangerous with those machines, Honda-kun is practically lethal. I honestly don't know how it works, but somehow we come close to an apocalypse when he's trying to do DDR.
Worst of all, Anzu always seems to forget these little facts when she forces us to dance.
"I'm not going up there," Honda-kun mutters as he flops down on the couch. Otogi-kun smirks deviously before sitting in his lap.
"And how long do you think that promise will last?"
~ * ~
It took approximately thirty minutes for Otogi-kun to be proven correct. Mainly because it took two minutes for everyone to settle down (our seating arrangement was two people on each side of the table, which resulted in Seto and I sitting next to each other), one minute to get the menu, twenty minutes to argue over food orders, two minutes to order, three minutes to set up the machines, and two minutes for the combined forces of Anzu and Otogi-kun to get Honda-kun up on the DDR machine.
So now Honda-kun is tripping and falling as Yuugi-kun calmly obeys each command with an ease that we are all jealous of. I suppose that he picked it up from living with Anzu for as long as he did, or maybe she's been training him for these moments. Since it's one of the simpler levels, Yuugi-kun is having an easy time.
As for me, I keep glancing at the clock which is moving at snail's pace. I'm silently begging for the food to come because at least we wouldn't have to play with that blasted machine anymore. Singing I can live with, even though I'm convinced my voice can break glass. Besides, Seto used to accompany me on duets so I wouldn't be too embarrassed.
Seto….
My face turns pink, and I pray that nobody notices it. Which there's a pretty good chance of, since everybody is busy cheering Yuugi-kun and half-heartedly encouraging Honda-kun not to give up.
Everybody, of course, except Seto.
"Are you okay?"
I get that urge to hit my head against the wall again. Why me, why me, why me?!
"Of course," I lie in a very unconvincing way.
Seto raises an eyebrow, "Why do I doubt you?"
My expression darkens as I whisper, "You of all people should know the answer to that."
There is silence before he grabs my hands, pulling close to me, "Listen, Ryou. I know what I'm asking for is a lot, but couldn't we just try…"
"Seto, this really isn't the place to be talking about…"
"Damn it, why won't you just…"
"Don't you dare lecture me about…"
I'm abruptly cut off when somebody who most obviously wants an extremely painful death puts a hand on my shoulder. From the look on Seto's face, you can tell that the other hand is probably on his shoulder. And considering the disgust and utmost loathing on his face, I know who's hand it is.
"Done talking?" Jyounouchi-kun asks pleasantly.
"No," Seto snarls, jerking away from Jyounouchi-kun's hands. Jyounouchi-kun doesn't look the least bit worried or annoyed; I have the feeling that he's very used to it by now.
"Oh well." There's a sadistic smile on Jyounouchi-kun's face that I honestly don't appreciate. "I suppose you'll just have to put it off for a while longer. It's your turn."
My stomach plummets as I fully realize the implications of his words. Seto doesn't look ill, he looks like a mad bull and I can't help but feel slightly sorry for Jyounouchi-kun.
"What are you waiting for?"
I definitely don't feel sorry for Jyounouchi-kun anymore. If anything, I feel a new sense of loathing for him that I never had before. But he deserves it, let me tell you that!
"You have got to be kidding me," Seto looks like he's starting to get a headache from Jyounouchi-kun's stupidity.
Jyounouchi-kun just grins. And inside my head, I start to scream.
~ * ~
"So which song?" Yuugi-kun asks as I am dragged up there.
"How about Paranoia?" Mai-san asks innocently. Jyounouchi-kun snickers, Seto glares, Yuugi-kun sweatdrops, and Anzu sighs. Otogi-kun is too busy pampering Honda-kun to take part in the action.
"How about something easier?" Yuugi-kun suggests as he picks a song which has a steady beat that sounds easy. But I know it isn't, even if it's the easiest song on the list.
I feel like crying as the characters on the screen get ready for pain and agony. I can't help but sneak a look at Seto, who is glaring at the scene as if he would be able to burn holes into it. I wish he would, but I suppose that that's asking for a bit too much. I've never seen him on one of these machines because he had a habit of coming to our little karaoke 'sessions' after the food had been served. Very wise of him, and now I wish I could have followed his example.
Well, I suppose it was impossible since I was with Honda-kun and Otogi-kun, but maybe I could have faked dire illness or run away. Neither of which would have gotten me out of this mess, but at least we might have missed the train and come late enough to just have to… sing.
"San, ni, ichi… iku yo! [4]" the others chant as I feel the sweat start to drip off my face in nervous anxiety. I keep waiting for my miracle to occur… after all, whoever is controlling the world's happenings owes me one.
As usual, I don't get my miracle. Instead, I find myself tripping along with the music, desperately trying to keep up and not fall on my butt. I have this urge to start whimpering unhappily when Seto suddenly places his hand on my shoulder.
"Daijoubu," he smiles slightly, "You're much too nervous. This isn't a matter of life and death, Ryou."
I must be pouting because his smile widens, "Honestly."
"Honestly what?" I can't help but hiss back. Oh dear Kami-sama, there has to be something wrong with me. Maybe I can just blame it on Yami Bakura?
One more comment like that and you'll be dancing for the rest of the night.
Eep. Definitely don't want to tempt the fates. Or really the spirits, in this case. Oh bother, my mind is such a mess right now! Somebody must have slipped some drugs into my drink, or maybe it's a slow-acting poison that will kill me in the middle of the song. Yes, I quite like the sound of that. No, I'm not being pessimistic.
"You're being too stiff."
I gape, "I'm too stiff? I'm not the one who always sits as if I have a board strapped to my back!"
That probably wasn't very nice, but I'm feeling extremely edgy and being nice is not very high on my list of priorities. Surviving is, but Seto is distracting me too much to worry about making a fool of myself.
"Insults do nothing for you, Ryou. And physical appearance has nothing to do with what I was speaking of."
If I wasn't in the middle of some ridiculously complicated step, I would have reached over in an attempt to strangle him. Or at least I would have tried to, but I would have stopped midway. Although if I don't stop, I might actually be able to succeed considering how everyone thinks of me as cute and innocent and would never dream of me doing such things.
I hate my life sometimes.
I do too.
"You're one to talk, Seto," I mutter darkly, "Who's the one always calling Jyounouchi-kun a 'make inu' or 'bonkotsu duelist' or 'zako' [5] or…"
"Ah, but you see I'm supposed to arrogant and insulting. You're not," Seto smirks. I stop, drowning out the music and everybody else.
"That's not true, Seto. The only reason why you think that is because you want to, but lies don't make it true. Besides, you weren't always that way. Mokuba talks a lot about you, and you can't say you were 'meant' to be that way because it's not true. Besides, why can't I be arrogant and insulting if I want to?"
"Because you're very bad at it."
"That's beyond the point!"
"Oh yeah? Why don't you try it then?"
"I can't just do it whenever I want to!"
"You see?" he grins as he leans over to pinch my cheek, causing me to flush angrily, "If you have to try it, then it's not natural. And if it's not natural, then you're not very good at it. Understand?"
"Urusei…" I mumble softly, turning my head back to the DDR machine's screen. I blink as I realize that we had already finished the dance, and I had somehow managed a passing C.
"Ha! Perfect timing!" we both whirl around to see that the waitress has come back with our food orders, and Jyounouchi-kun is smiling. He looks very pleased about something, although I don't know what that is. However, I have the suspicion that not only do I not want to know what is going on in that scary mind of his, but that sooner or later I'm going to be finding out whether or not I choose to know.
I decide to ignore that extremely disturbing thought and glance over to see that Seto has earned an A (typical), but then I get distracted by Seto's cocky grin.
"And Mokuba was telling me horror stories about you being as bad as Honda-kun," he grins as he takes me by the hand, leading me back to solid ground.
Funny that it feels like we're stepping away from our dreams, considering how much I detest that machine. But it's still like we're walking away from a place where we can just dance around all our problems, forgetting everyone around us and everything that has happened….
Translations and Notes:
[1] Batsu no game = punishment game. The scene refers to volume 26, after Yami no Malik's duel with Mai. In the anime, the bugs are replaced by sand.
[2] Utada Hikaru is a Japanese singer. Currently she has 3 albums out. If you can get your hands on it, you should listen to her third album "Deep River". It's gorgeous (I actually got it from our good-for-nothing library… O_o).
[3] If you don't understand the nose-bleeding thing, it's basically where you see something so hot that you get a nosebleed.
[4] Three, two, one… (let's) go!
[5] Pathetic dog, mediocre duelist, small fish.
PM *yawns*: Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than usual. But I'm terribly tired. I would have tried to write another scene but our house is threatening to flood again and so I was feeling a bit stressed Saturday night. Which meant no time to write. *yawns again*
Ryuuji: Off to bed with you, PM.
PM *griping unhappily*: Noooooooooo. I want to write that other fic….
Ryuuji: I'd rather you not.
PM *perks up*
Ryuuji *slaps forehead*: Oh Kami-sama… just go to bed, PM.
PM: Do I get a goodnight kiss?
Ryuuji *screams and runs out of Writer-verse*
PM: Oh phooey.
Pikachumaniac
