Disclaimer: When you see naked Ryuuji in YGO, then you know who owns it. XD

Look the Other Way

PM: This is a… um… horrendously short chapter, people. ^^;; Sorry about that… it was originally combined with the next chapter, but I thought it might be too confusing and at least this way, I have more time to write the last two chapters and make them better. ::^_^::

Yami: Do you have excuses for everything?

PM: Well, yeah?

Yami: --;; You're not supposed to agree….

PM: *chibi grin* Anyhow, ignoring Yami-kun here, this chapter takes place on Sunday evening in Ryou's POV. I apologize before-hand if there are any… um… problems with the international date line. I did my best to work around it but… ^^;; Well, I'm certainly not perfect.

^_^ Many thanks to rayemars-san for beta-reading, as well as Sharem (:p You make it sound like a bad thing….), cheesepuff (Three more chapters, including this…), treana (Thanks for the comments on the characters! It makes me feel better….), Erfaciel (Ma… matte! You can't get the kiss if you don't tell me what you think BriscoNLogan means!), Shamanic Guardian Lena (Yuki isn't dead… if Black Magician hurt him, I'd probably pair him up with past Bakura, and we all know he doesn't want that. XD 'Course, Yami don't know that… *innocent grin*), The Evil Laugh (The book is called "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris. I recommend that one highly. It's better than "Naked", although "Naked" is really good too), MarmaladeGirl (Ryou: It's about time he got over here!), Ishizu Sango Halliwell (*oohs and ahhs with you*), SailorSaturn1025 (XD Yay! You got it! *grins* And now you can tell your parents that a psychopathic fanfic writer named after a yellow electric rat ALSO watches it religiously…), Angel-Belle (Seto: If I stop calling him a dog, I'd be lying…), Wildwolf (What was that Yuugi? *blinks innocently*), Lavender Sparkle (^.^ Gomen… there's no room for Meimi POV in this story… but it'll get written somewhere else , promise!), fani90 (XD Good incentive to keep writing… keep people from killing me), Steph-hime (actually, I want you to like Mami-chan… but that's okay if you don't. ^.^), Bronze Eagle (one 'n' in the minna when adding an honorific after it… XD And it was sad! I'm still in shock that he died! *bursts into tears*), Miss Behaving (XD Every Sunday, unless things turn up… remember?), introspective-mortal (No, that's not true! I'm sure SOMEBODY tortures their characters more than me… can't think of anyone at the moment but I'm SURE!), Blondie the Black Sheep (*gets a cattle brand with the words "Seto's B-tch" engraved on it* Now come here, darling Ryou….), Em (D Glad I finally got you to review… *grins*), dani (She doesn't show up in this fic anymore… I think… *Mami goes after Seto and Ryou in America* Matteeeee~! You're not supposed to go! *chases after her*), Ashuri chan (Don't worry! Everything will turn out *just* fine… Ryuuji: Liar. PM: Urusei.), yukoma (*hugs Touya and Yukito* Kawaiiiiii.), Dark Eyed (Ryou: I'm not an idiot! PM-tachi: *COUGH*), Aishiteru Tenshi (O.o And where did that dresses comment come from?!), Shenya (heehee… it's okay! I know I was really off-track for the past couple weeks, but I just had to get my parents off my back and study for once. XD), Chibizoo (Yes, I submitted… I even have your pretty confirmation e-mail! *rummages through e-mails trying to find it… box 'slips' and hits PM on the head, knocking her out* Yami: Heehee…), loanshark (thanks! Except now my mom is on my back about my SAT II math score… since when was a 730 not enough?), Shetan (You know, the first thing I thought of when you said 'punish Black Magician'… is not appropriate for a PG story… X_x Yami! Put that whip back where you found it!), Yami-kun (^_^ You're welcome… good luck with it!), DreamingDragon (*is about to go into her patience is a virtue spew again when soembody knocks her out*), TidBits (XD *has a ball imagining Seto as Gump), Tuulikki (XD I did read your story… it was funny! I especially loved that Malik/Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura/Ryou scene… I laughed myself sick! And thanks for your comments on Mami and Meimi… :p), Fate (*raises hand* I agree with Fate-san), Takuro (I am your god? XD PM-ism! Ryuuji: Don't you mean PMS-ism? PM: *eyebrow twitches as she knocks Ryuuji out*), *i n c o h e r e n t* (Love your comments about Jyounouchi. ^_^), and Dragon Wings (many thanks to your character observations. XD). Thanks, minna!

~ Falling ~

        "I thought you weren't coming back until next week?"

        I shrug as I close the door behind me before turning to face Ben, who is watching me with the expression of pity that just about every single person has been giving me for the past week. I can remember my first interview with him… well, it wasn't really an interview but just a casual affair. I had met his wife Kim at a museum exhibition on the history of lead use in the United States. Did you know, for example, that the United States didn't ban lead in indoor paint until forty-four years after most of Europe? Or that most people today have 625 times more lead in our blood than people did a hundred years ago?  And how on earth could lead have not been removed from food containers in America until 1993?! [1]

        Anyhow, we ended up getting into a conversation about the effectiveness of the Clean Air Act and other legislation on the environment (which really isn't that much). We became friends, and about a month later she introduced me to Ben. He was the one who suggested I write, as it was something I liked to do and wouldn't have interfered with the job I had at the time.

        "Caught an early flight home," I reply dully as I sit down. "I just spent most of the day passing out gifts, and you're my last stop before I go home and write a paper on the growth pattern of mold on leftovers."

        "Nice to know you haven't lost your sense of humor," he replies calmly. I can only stare at him… he really isn't one to talk about a 'sense of humor', as I've never known somebody who can tell a joke with the same tone and a straight voice as well as he can.

        "Nice to know I still have one," I mutter as I place his goody bag on the desk. "Now if you'll excuse me, the mold is calling my name."

        "Did something happen?"

        "Yeah… but it's nothing I really want to talk about."

        "If you don't want to talk about, you really shouldn't advertise it in the first place because that just perks people's interests," he suggests oh-so-helpfully. Yes, I'm sure that is a fine piece of advice but it's also coming a bit too late for me to do anything about it.

        "I'll keep that in mind," is my dry reply. I really don't have anything else to say… what can I say? It isn't like I can and will spill my life story for him to hear… even though he is a good friend, this is a story that I do not want to tell anyone.

        It's not really a mentality that if I don't think about it… don't tell anybody about it, maybe it will go away. No… I know it won't go away. But at least here, I don't have to deal with people looking at me and knowing what I am depressed about. Yes, they know what I'm depressed about… and they pity me for that. If I could, I would ask them not to pity me because what's the point? Pity doesn't get you anywhere. It just makes people feel worse, really. And there is no need for that….

        At least, this way, if they don't know the story, they won't know exactly how pathetic I am.

        Yes, I freely admit that I am pathetic. It was very rash of me to come running back here after only holding out for a week in Domino… but truly… it wouldn't have mattered if I had stayed. Nothing would have come out of it… nothing except more feelings and emotions that I wanted done away with.

        That's what I tell myself, at least. It makes me feel a little less guilty, especially when I'm trying to forget the look on Seto's face when I left.

        I remember this one time that Honda-kun and Otogi-kun got into a huge argument and didn't speak to each other for nearly a month. Since the two had previously been sharing the same dorm room and now refused to be in the same room as each other, Jyounouchi-kun ended up switching with Otogi-kun, thus ending up with me being Otogi-kun's roommate for a month (at the time, I was still in the dorm and didn't move in with Seto until the next year). Although their relationship can be quite volatile, Otogi-kun and Honda-kun never get into really bad arguments. Everyone was afraid they would break up because of this fight, especially knowing how stubborn the two of them could be.

        It strikes me as odd even to this day that although Otogi-kun was just so mad at Honda-kun, he was miserable the entire time. And according to Jyounouchi-kun, the same happened with Honda-kun at being deprived of his, quote on quote, "raven-haired beauty" (I think he was drunk at this time, but one can never be sure with Honda-kun). I had to endure an entire month or so of Otogi-kun complaining about how pissed he was in one breath and then how much he missed Honda-kun in the same breath. It was positively maddening, and there was more than one incident where I wanted to grab him by the ear and yell at him to get his act together.

        Of course, I never did… it's not in my nature. But I really wanted to, and I truly thought that doing that might actually get him to realize that he needed to get back together with Honda-kun (especially before they destroyed what remained of my ever-depleting supply of sanity).

        Now though, when I think of this incident… I can't help but think that perhaps I need somebody to yell at me too. Because I don't seem to be accepting my own thoughts, and nothing else seems to be getting through. I want something so much but I can't get it even when it's laid out in front of me. Isn't this a sign that something is wrong with me?

        Well, that's nothing new, I suppose. Something always seems to be wrong with me. If it isn't bullies, it's the teachers. If it isn't the teachers, it's the psychopathic spirit in the Sennen Ring. And if it's not the psychopathic spirit, it's romantic problems that are enough to drive just about anybody up the roof. It's no wonder that people can't stand me, and that I can barely manage to get close to my friends even when I'm with them for long periods of time.

        This week though… it's been confusing. It's been too much. I was supposed to relax and all I got was one surprise after another. Some of them were really something though… Meimi-chan, for example. She's wonderful, and Seto is lucky to have somebody like her in his life.

        Then again, she's also lucky to have Seto as a father. Seto is used to parenting, since he took care of Mokuba since he was ten and Mokuba five. And he's liable to spoil her rotten, just as I've done to poor Ikumi.

        Mami-san, however… she confuses me. I want to hate her but I really can't. I can't because I feel so sorry for her. She hates so much without really having a reason to, and I think she hates herself for that too. I can tell that Seto can't stand her, and it must hurt her because no one wants to be told that they're hated so much. Still, I really wish I could have told her not to blame me for what happened. I know I never will because I'm too shy and I can't really stand up to people like her because they always seem to twist things to satisfy their own meaning, and this scares me.

        It surprised me that she could be Meimi-chan's mother or Seto's wife. Ex-wife, granted, but wife nevertheless. I wonder what had been going on when Seto chose to marry her… after all, there are many nice girls out there. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had even married Emi-chan… but then again, Emi-chan still remembers what Seto said about her and is more or less slightly tiffed by that.

        Seto, of everyone, confused me the most. He has always confused me, granted, but never this much.

        It was almost like he was begging me….

        "Ryou?"

        I immediately blush. It seems that being in Japan for a week has brought back my tension when it comes to being called by my first name. It's really not something I can get used to easily, especially since I did spend most of my life being called by my last name. The first name is supposed to be special, used by people you are very close to. And while I am close to Ben and Kim, I'm not really close enough to be on a first name basis in Japan.

        But this isn't Japan. It's America. And I moved here to avoid these types of things… well, the main reason why I moved here was because the environment here needs all the help it can get, but that's a different story.

        Don't lie, yadonushi. You moved here because it's a 12 hour flight.

        I choose to ignore him."Hmm?"

        "It's getting late. Do you want a ride home?"

        "I'll walk."

        Ben frowns, "You can't walk at night here. It's too far… and the next bus doesn't come for a while. It can be dangerous. You know that."

        Oops. I've gotten used to walking everywhere… and I never liked the concept of having to drive everywhere, like you do here. It's not comfortable, especially since I still haven't learned to drive. Nor do I have any intention of doing so, but that's a different story.

        "I can take a taxi?"

        My statement comes out more like a question, as if I'm unsure of what I want. Which is definitely safe to say, considering how erratic I've been. One moment I want Seto back more than anything in the world. I wanted my old life back. And when it's suddenly offered to me, I panic and run.

        And this is the result.

        I really am pathetic.

        That's what I've been saying all along, Yami Bakura interjects, in a tone that can actually be termed cheerful. I think being in the modern world for so long has mellowed him out a bit, but Yami Bakura being cheerful at a situation that doesn't involve blood still freaks me out. Even if it is because I'm degrading myself, something he particularly enjoys.

        Urusei.

        "Kim will kill me if something happens to you. It's not exactly like it's out of my way, Ryou. I don't mind taking you."

        I smile as sincerely as I can… which isn't very sincere and we both know that. "Daijoubu da, Ben. I'm sure everything will be alright."

        On any other day I wouldn't mind getting a ride from him. Ben is a very interesting person, and he's easy to talk to. Something that I can't help but be afraid of. I really don't want anybody to hear my story, and Ben happens to be one of those people who can drag a story out of just about anyone before his victim can figure out what's happening. It's happened to me one too many times, so I should know.

        "All right," he acknowledges hesitantly. I can tell that he doesn't believe me, but that's not my problem right now. So instead of trying to convince him further, a task that I definitely would have failed at anyway, I just decide to get out of here as quickly as possible. It's a more effective solution, anyway. "But maybe you can call me when you get home. So I don't have to worry."

        "Fine," I reply hastily. I know that the longer I stay, the more possible it will be that he will find some way of dragging me home, even if he has to chain me to the seat to do so. "I hope you and Kim like the things I brought."

        Before he can protest or somehow change my mind, I quickly get up, turn around, and walk out of the office.

~ * ~

        I didn't really plan on taking the taxi… not immediately, at least. What I really want is some fresh air, and I thought it would be best to walk as far as I could before getting that taxi.

        So that's what I'm doing now. Walking. It's a nice way of keeping fit too… I've done this before. Walked as far as I could before taking a bus or something like that. I'm actually pretty familiar with the bus schedule, so I know that if I walk for about a mile at a little faster than my usual speed, I'll be able to make the next bus to my apartment.

        Currently though, I'm standing at the traffic light, about a block away from the office building where Ben runs his business. It's an okay part of the neighborhood… there isn't much crime around here, but that isn't saying much. My house got robbed once, and basically all the money that wasn't in the safe was taken. Luckily, there wasn't that much… but the incident taught me a valuable lesson. Which was, basically, don't leave anything to chance.

        Of course… if you don't leave anything to chance, then it's also possible that nothing can ever happen. And nobody wants that, right?

        It's cold and the light is refusing to change despite the fact that there isn't a single car in the vicinity. But since I'm too cowardly to deliberately break the law, I just stick my hands in my pockets and continue to wait patiently.

        Upon doing so, I realize that there's something in my pocket.

        It feels kinda plastic-y, but as soon as I see it I can't help but turn rather pink.

        It's the good luck charm that I was supposed to give Meimi-chan.

        I blink at it, as if it's actually a packet of poison that I'm supposed to swallow. The shiny gold characters catch the light, making the pink flower-design pale in comparison. The words are now too obvious to ignore… their pathetic promise of luck in love a mind-numbing taunt. Does anyone really believe that a mere charm could accomplish such a thing?

        It's so easy to believe in these false dreams and hopes. Something to cling onto, no matter the situation… as if by doing so, it might come true.

        Why do I still deceive myself like this? Let myself carry on with all these lies? It's gotten to the point where half the time, I don't know what's real and what's not. I want Seto back but I don't at the same time. I want my old life but I'm too caught up in the new one. I want so many things but I can't have them because of my own stupidity.

        What is wrong with me?

        Why is it always about you?

        … Yami Bakura?

        Yes, I'm here. I'm here and I have to listen to your constant complaining and whining. You do realize that I can listen to all your thoughts? I don't know why I would want to but I am dying of boredom here. But did anyone ever tell you that you whine too much, yadonushi?

        Well, actually….

        Why don't you listen to them?

        I do….

        No, you don't yadonushi. Or if you do, you take their words and twist them to fit your needs. Which is a pretty commendable talent, I admit, but not the way you do it. People usually twist things to their benefit. You seem to do it with the purpose of making yourself feel worse. What's the point of that?

        Demo….

        Don't argue with me on this one, yadonushi. If it was my choice, you'd be on the next flight back to Japan and we'll get this whole mess settled. I'm tired of your whining and if you think I want to help you, you're wrong. The only reason why I 'want' to help you is because you're giving me a headache that can last me to the next life.

        Well they why didn't you say anything before?

        … I was hoping you would figure it out on your own. I can't do everything for you… and I doubt you would want me to anyway.

        I choose not to reply to this as I close my hand around Meimi-chan's good luck charm. Perhaps I can mail it to her, or something. Perhaps I should keep it for myself.

        Of course, if I have had it for this long… why didn't it help when I talked to Seto?

        What on earth makes you think a dinky piece of cardboard and imprinted paper is going to help you when you can't help yourself?

        Seto… he confused me. He really confused me. I don't understand him… although admittedly I always found it difficult to understand him. It seemed like at the one moment I finally understood him … he'd change and become something different. I could just never figure it out.

        I told him that I still loved him. But even though I do, it didn't stop me from leaving. And for the life of me, I just can't figure out why.

        It seemed that half the stuff I said to him makes sense… but what about the rest? How could I believe all of it at that time… while I can't anymore? It just seems… strange, to say the least.

        The light turns green and I finally start to cross. My hands are still tangled in the string of the charm as I step off the sidewalk and onto the street.

        I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don't notice the screech of tires. My head snaps up as I'm suddenly blinded from the bright lights of vehicle.

        Oh… Kami-sama….

        Get out of the way, yadonushi! Yami Bakura screams at the top of his lungs as the vehicle comes closer. Too close… too close to avoid.

        Something registers.

        Are you listening?! Move it!

        I can feel, distantly, him trying to take control as I can only stare at what is hurtling towards me. My body is frozen except for my chest, which is blinding hot from the heat of the Sennen Ring.

        My brain is screaming but my body isn't responding. And I feel like I'm trapped in a horrible, impossible out-of-body situation where I can only stare.

        Someone's screaming. Sounds almost like Seto… Seto, who is half a world away from me and will probably not know of this until it's much too late to do anything. Seto, who isn't here.

        If all of this was so damn wrong, why is it that outside of Mokuba and now Meimi, the only person who could make me truly happy was you?

        I don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

        … it hurts. Everything hurts right now. Where does this pain come from? Why does it hurt so much?

        Ryou!

        It almost feels like I'm falling off a cliff. Falling head first and there's nobody to stop me, nobody waiting for me, nobody to catch me. Just open air, and the slow descent to the crushing embrace of nothingness.

Notes:

[1] Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything", pg 158 - 159.

*long silence*

PM: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *runs away screaming her lungs out*

Pikachumaniac