A/N Please don't hurt me, I know that it's been 3 months since my last update, but, here's a very very very long new chapter. Big Sank Yuu to my lovely and talented beta, Kaminari. She is such a good help! *pat pat*
Sorry to anyone who read this in the original formatting, once I realized it was royally mucked up (say, 3 hours after the original update) I made sure to fix it.
Well, that's all I've got to say. Enjoy.
Eight
"Would you tell me what you know about Sárie?"
Ailin turned to face Legolas, surprised at his request. She had not thought that the Prince would wish to speak only of the heinous Elf Sárie.
"What exactly do you wish to know about her?" Ailin asked sourly.
"Why does she think so poorly of herself?" Legolas questioned, looking at his feet. His brow was creased slightly with worry.
"It does not matter what she wishes to think. Sárie has always been put where she belongs, which is best for all of us. I suppose you know not of why she lives outside the city walls," Ailin STATED, her voice cold and hard.
"No, I am afraid I do not," Legolas replied. "Would you explain?"
Ailin scowled. "Yes, my Lord. You must be unaware of the dark secrets Sárie's family has." Ailin watched as Legolas looked at her, his face a picture of complete shock. She ran a finger along the seam of his tunic. "But do not blame the child, for she cannot help it. It is in her blood. You may wish to sit down, the story is a long one."
Legolas complied, looking back at Ailin as she took a seat next to him.
"How can one blame another for something that is merely in their blood?" he asked, subtly trying to distance himself from the other Elf. Ailin frowned, and moved closer to him, so close that their faces were nearly touching.
"Trust me," she said in a deadly whisper, "if you knew what her family's crime was, you would as well."
"And may I inquire what her kin has done that is so terrible?" Legolas asked, a bit taken aback by the tone of Ailin's voice.
Let's have a little fun with the royal, Ailin thought to herself. It had been so long since she had had any fun, after all. "Tell me, your Highness, you enjoy the folklore of our people, do you not?" Legolas looked wary, but nodded all the same. "Yes, I do," he replied.
"Have you ever heard the tales of Tindómë?"
Legolas' face clouded over with darkness. "Yes, I have," he answered in a quavering voice, not so sure he wanted to know what would come next.
"Well then," Ailin declared, "I suppose it would interest you to know that your little friend is one of those accursed Elves."
Legolas was immediately dumbfounded and looked to Ailin with disbelief in his eyes. Ailin leaned in to whisper into Legolas' ear.
"Her kin has long been expelled from Mirkwood, Lórien, most of the Elf havens. It is a wonder Lord Elrond would allow your friend and that miserable brother of hers to reside even remotely near Imladris. Especially with all the trouble their family has caused in the short time they have been here." Ailin's eyes flickered with malice, her smile curling. "You should know that the Tindómë are traitors. Always have been, and always will. Back in ancient times, the Tindómë betrayed the Elves--their own kin--to the Goblins, Trolls, to all most wicked creatures imaginable. You of all people, Legolas, son of King Thranduil, should understand why they were debarred from Mirkwood. They were horrid murderers with no knowledge of right or wrong.
"They are merely tales, woven to teach and scare us," Legolas insisted.
Ailin laughed. "You would think that, would you not? But they were real. And you must wonder where our friend Sárie comes into this story," Ailin finished, running a delicate finger along Legolas' cheek. He flinched and pulled away from her touch.
"I think I can gather where you are going with this. But I don't care to know, thank you very much. Had this been so important, I'm sure Sárie would have told me earlier. So please, not another word."
Ailin smiled again. It was amazing how one so beautiful could look so terrifying. "But my dear Prince, it is not a matter of what you wish to know, but what you must know. Some secrets are best forgotten, I agree with you. But this is not one of them. For you see, Sárie has committed one of the most heinous crimes imaginable. She has killed another Elf." Ailin's facial expressing changed from one of shamelessness to regret and pain.
Legolas felt his body freeze up in shock, his heart almost stopping entirely stopping. "Surely you cannot be serious! Accusing Sárie of such a thing!!"
"My older brother, Túrelie, was the kindest and most gentle soul ever to grace fair Middle Earth," continued Ailin. "Well, perhaps that is a slight exaggeration, but it is very close to being truthful. He was as handsome as An elf could be, and smarter that the lot of us! That was back when Sárie and I were young, or rather, younger than we are now.
"My family was one of the few here whose supported Mehtar and Sárie when their parents disappeared. It was rumored that the two were traveling to Valinor without their children. Mehtar and Túrelie became fast friends, and as for Sárie and I, well, we were never too particularly fond of each other. Sárie would always follow around her brother, and it was not long before Túrelie began to see that elf as being a younger sister as well. I suppose I was jealous of her.
"I would always tease her, good natured fun, of course, but when Sárie got upset, she always ran into the forest. Foolish…" Ailin trailed off for a moment, her eyes clouding over by pain that would never leave her.
Legolas had to smile weakly, it seemed that from Ailin's description, Sárie had not changed at all.
"Mehtar was furious with me, though he never said so. Túrelie, on the other hand, let me know exactly how he felt. Both left to go find her. Only… Túrelie never came back…" Ailin's voice had gone soft and unsteady.
"No one knows what really happened, except for Sárie, and she refuses to speak about it. She's pretending it never happened. When Mehtar and my father found them, both were injured badly, Túrelie…" she took a deep breath, wavering for a long moment. "Túrelie's sword was found… fatally piercing his chest. Sárie's wounds were serious, but none life-threatening.
"Of course, no one blamed poor, innocent Sárie of the crime. She was too young, too weak to have slain a strapping young Elf. There must of been some horrible attack by a wild beast, and neither could hold it off. But I know the truth." Ailin paused; her speech pattern had gone from long and pained to rapid, nearly panicked.
"The way she looked at me afterward. Indignant. Nearly proud. No one else noticed, but in those dull eyes of hers… I swear she is the one who killed him. She must have slain Túrelie on his own sword. Sárie did not speak for nearly two years after the incident, but since then, she had been dressing and acting more masculine. I fear the day when she comes after me."
Legolas stared at Ailin, his jaw hanging from shock. Quickly regaining his composure, he murmured, "Sárie would not harm anyone."
Ailin heard his quiet words, and sneered in reply. "Oh, you would think so, would you not? They always take her side. Prince, you are a hunter. You know what small, weak animals are capable of when threatened."
"But Sárie isn't a beast, she is an ELF!" Legolas cried in horror.
"Not the way I see it," Ailin muttered under her breath. "Your dear friend Sárie is an abomination and a disgrace to the elves as people! Do not tell me that you disagree. She does not compose herself as an elf should."
"Nor do you," Legolas seethed.
"Pardon me, your highness, but it is because of that vile creature that my brother is stuck in the ground for eternity, forced to lie there while it rains on his stomach. Just because of that nefarious excuse for an elf!"
Legolas stared at Ailin between narrowed eyes. "You lie," he hissed angrily. "Facetious creature, why try to poison my mind? I should have known better than you wasted my time listening to you--"
"But I'm not LYING!" Ailin yelled in exasperation. "Upon my honor!"
Legolas stared into the depths of her dark eyes trying to undercover the deceit, but could not find it. And he realized that she was telling the truth. No actor could carry off such a look. What she spoke was honest.
"You are lying," he said again, this time in a hoarse whisper. Before Ailin could reply, Legolas turned his back and ran for the forest. He had to find Sárie.
****
The sun beat down hard on Sárie's back as she knelt over in Mehtar's garden, caring for the obviously abused plants. Mehtar was always preaching the importance of being self-sufficient, thus his sad attempt at a garden was high on his list of priorities. He had given Sárie the painless job of watering and occasionally weeding it (which on more than one occasion she neglected to do).
Today, in Sárie's humble opinion, the garden was looking particularly overgrown. Seeing no other rational choice, she had picked up a hoe and set to work, clearing out the mess. Sárie attacked the helpless soil with great gusto, using her hoe like a weapon. She knew that this would of course do nothing but cause harm to the garden, but sometimes she had to calm her nerves. If fighting was the only way to do so, it was better soil than her brother.
She could not bring herself to believe the events of earlier that day. First there was the pleasant feeling of quite literally falling into Legolas's arms, then the immense awkwardness of being kissed by Elladan. Her hoe continued to hack away into the ground, though she paid little attention to it.
Most of all, she was frightened by the way Legolas might act at their next meeting. She had a feeling that he had been about to say something important when they were interrupted. Sárie rested the hoe gently on the soil and wiped the sweat from her brow.
She sorely wished that she had not vowed never to pick up a bow. Some target practice would have felt quite rewarding, but alas. She grunted softly and examined her work. Mehtar was surely going to lecture her when he returned from courting his lady friend.
Her thoughts again began to dwell on Legolas. Sárie could feel her cheeks burn as she wondered what he could be doing, and if perhaps he was thinking of her as well. She was surprised at how quickly she had come to care for him, though Sárie knew well that nothing would ever come from it. No one would ever care for her hideous face.
Many times Sárie had watched a happy pair of lovers stroll gaily around Rivendell. They almost seemed to have a glow to them. She had long ago decided that it was the light of joy, happiness and love. She would often wish to know of that loving glow, but knew she never would. Who would care for an elf such as she?
No one could; Sárie just was not meant for such things.
Now is seemed that the Valar must have shined down on her, if only for a brief moment. Sárie grinned as she pictured Legolas in her mind, his fair face smiling. She felt herself slip into fantasy for a brief moment, a dream where the Elven Prince had actually come to care for her. She smiled wistfully, slipping back into her senses moments later.
Sárie scolded herself for being captured by a foolish fantasy. Turning her attention back to the task at hand, She decided now the dilapidated garden was in dire need of some water. She took the hoe back in her hand and spun toward the garden's gate, watching where she stepped, as not to ruin any more of the plants. She swung open the gate and stepped out, rested the hoe against the weak fence, and closed the gate. Sárie turned to find a pail for water, but instead found herself looking at the chest of an Elf.
Sárie leaped back in fright, stumbling to the side, completely off balance. Two strong arms reached out to steady her. Sárie looked up at who they belonged to, and found herself staring into the eyes of a concerned Legolas.
"You needn't sneak up on people!" she gasped in surprise. "I did not hear you approaching the house."
Legolas did not immediately reply. Sárie could not make out his emotions by his facial expression, but his eyes seemed shrouded. "Tell me it isn't true."
Sárie stared at Legolas confusedly.
"What isn't true? I don't understand."
"It ISN'T TRUE. It can't be."
"Legolas......"
"It CANNOT BE!!" Legolas grabbed Sárie squarely by the shoulders and raised his head, sharing at her straight on. His normally cheery blue eyes were full of turmoil and pain. He looked on the verge of tears, something Sárie has never seen before. "Please, Sárie, tell me you didn't kill him. You're an Elf. You couldn't have killed him. Elves don't commit such ATROCIOUS crimes."
Sárie looked blankly at Legolas, before finally saying, "Oh."
"Please, I need to know. What happened in that forest all those years ago?"
"Those events are a secret that only I shall keep," Sárie snapped suddenly. "You have no need to learn of such burdens."
"But did you kill him?"
"I DID NOT!!!" Sárie fell without a sound to the ground. "Please, stop this now...... I want to forget, I always wanted to forget......" She held her head in her arms, her mind racing in a dead panic. She could not go back. She had pushed it into the back of her head, the back of her memories.
"Sárie, tell me! I need to know!" Legolas persisted.
Sárie could not bring herself to look at him. She could only feel terror.
"Sárie, please! I know that is was painful and a long time ago, but clutching onto the memories like precious jewels will only make them more heavy in your heart!" Legolas lightly ran a hand along her check, forcing her eyes to meet his. Sárie wanted to flinch at the touch, but she couldn't, not with Legolas looking so sorrowful and trusting. "Are we not friends?" He whispered softly. "If you can't tell me, who else is there?"
Sárie opened her mouth, and gave a shaky laugh. "I knew it. Now I remember why I used to have no friends. They only cause trouble, butting into your private affairs. Do not touch me, Legolas!"
The Elf pulled his hand quickly away, looking pained.
"I do not care to relive the events of that night. I cannot speak of them. I simply cannot," Sárie pleaded, not able to take her eyes of Legolas', her facial expression, however, had not changed as Sárie repeated the same words: "I cannot."
Legolas almost jumped away when Sárie glared in his direction. His previous anger was forgotten, all of his energies concentrated on his friend. Her shaking figure looked so helpless and lost, a pale shadow of the confident, stubborn Elf he had met some time ago. Suddenly he was filled with an inexplicable desire to draw her close to him and tell her that everything was fine, that she did not have to worry anymore, but he knew that such actions would prove futile.
Sárie could only be reassured by one person, and he seemed to be currently away
"What's going on here? Sárie? Legolas?" Legolas spun around. Ah! Salvation!
Mehtar raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you wish to hug me, Legolas? You seem unusually jubilant today." Sárie watched the two listlessly.
Mehtar smiled at his joke, looking contentedly down at his sister. His blissful expression was immediately plastered over by anxiety. He knelt down and took Sárie in his arms, to which she tensed and pushed him away.
"What is wrong?" Mehtar asked, clasping his hands on her shoulders. Sárie stared blankly at him, giving her reply in a deep shudder. Mehtar pulled Sárie to her feet, and turned to Legolas who was watching helplessly.
"What did you say?" he snapped protectively.
Legolas looked distressed. "I heard from Ailin tha---"
Hello again, Sárie dear.
What are YOU doing here?
Can't someone say hello every once in awhile? We are by no means separated......
One can wish. I don't want to talk to you.
Oh yes, I forgot, you had denounced friendship again, hadn't you? I'm afraid I'm hardly what you might call a friend.
I tend to address you as "My Worst Nightmare".
How sad, you can't wake up until you're dead, then.
Don't tempt me.
You wouldn't. You know you wouldn't. Cause more shame to your family name? It's already tarnished, and you love your brother too much to cause his ruin. Instead you shall live on....... forever and ever, without a soul to call your friend.
Oh, but I thought you said I had you earlier?
Don't encourage ME, dear. I might start visiting more often.
"Sárie?" Legolas asked frantically. Both he and Mehtar were staring at her, their concern greater than it had been moments before.
"Hnnngggg," she replied, looking at both with confusion.
"Who were you speaking to just then?" Mehtar asked, a hand on her forehead.
"I. Was……" Sárie trailed off, her voice distant.
"Who were you speaking to!?" Mehtar demanded, now shaking her harshly.
"No one," she said softly. "I am not speaking to anyone."
They think you're crazy. Both of them DO.
I'm not crazy!
I beg to differ. You are indeed mad.
I AM NOT CRAZY!!!
If you AREN'T, THEN why am I still here? After all these years……
Can't you just leave me in peace?
Peace? Peace is dull, believe you me. I've had my fair share of it, and decided I prefer chaos. Or, in this case, simply driving the sanity out of you."
Sárie felt herself panicking, her breaths becoming shallow and rushed.
Oh, please, the voice inside her head said leisurely. Don't worry, just tell them that whenever you're scared or nervous you talk to yourself to work problems out. It works like a charm every time. Trust me, I know. See, are I not useful sometimes?
You're the reason I have to lie to those I care about! Sárie thought furiously.
Picky, picky.
****
Sárie rested her head against the smooth wooden wall in her room. She stared blankly out the window. Some time had passed since her last encounter with her brother and Legolas, and she was now resting in her room. Sárie had done as the voice had instructed, and told Legolas and Mehtar that her one-sided conversations were merely a device for solving problems. Mehtar had looked both relieved and suspicious at the time, and was now keeping a close watch.
It was clear that Legolas had not believed a word she said.
Sárie rubbed an eye drowsily, staring out at the darkening sky. It was only mid afternoon, but storm clouds were rolling in casting a dreary aura. It was only a matter of time before the rain started. She held a hand toward the sky, reaching as if to touch a cloud.
Through her mind ran the scene from earlier. Legolas's words STILL rang in her ears as if he had only just said them.
Sárie wriggled out of Mehtar's grip, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. That was simply an exhibition of what I do when worried--It's a childish habit, really. Talking to myself when I need to clear my thoughts--I apologize. You needn't look so apprehensive, brother. See how well I am now?"
Mehtar looked uncertain. "Just don't do that again, agreed?" he said, his voice tight with stress.
Legolas frowned. "Sárie, may I have a word?"
"But of cour--" She was cut off as her friend dragged her away from Mehtar.
"Why are you acting so formal? This is unlike you. I don't need planned speeches and excuses, I need the truth. Something happened to you a minute ago that I did not understand, and I did not like it."
"It's none of your concern," Sárie said peevishly.
"I think you'll find, my dear friend, that soon this shall become everyone's concern, if you do not learn to tell me the truth and stop such events from happening again. Good day."
Sárie sighed loudly, pushing a strand of long hair behind her ear. She didn't even want to know what he meant, but she couldn't help but imagine the worst. What if all of Rivendell knew about her "problems"? The clouds broke open and rain began to pour. Sárie listened to the rhythmic beating of the downpour. She had wanted to say more, to explain more, just make something up quickly. Sárie had always been good at lying.
It seemed the world around her was made entirely of an intricate knot of lies, Sárie thought, frowning. How she wished it wasn't so. She wished she could deliver the honestly that Legolas seemed to expect. Wishing never got anywhere.
Sárie could well imagine the consequences of Legolas' ultimatum. She shook her head. "I cannot go back," she whispered. "I must go on with my life. I cannot go back." SARIE had already dealt with the consequences of speaking once. If Legolas was a true friend, he would not want to bring back such painful memories.
There is no such thing as true friendship, she thought bitterly. Dreaming of it comes so easily, it's all I've ever known. All I've wanted to know. Friendship is a fairy tale. She could feel the voice in her head's urge to speak, the suppressed it with much difficulty. She did not want IT to interfere, not again. Her thoughts veered. That night. She couldn't remember. No, she had to. She had to face it. Sárie took a deep and wavering breath, WISHING for all the strength she possessed.
Sárie tripped, her grimy brown dress catching on a stick and tearing. Tears welled up in her eyes AS she picked herself up. She knew that Ailin was watching. More importantly, she knew that there was no way that Ailin would keep her nasty trap shut.
"Sárie, that was beautiful! Completely graceful!" Ailin giggled, flailing her arms in a mocking gesture. "It's amazing how uncivilized you look! I imagine we could go stick you in a flock of humans, and you'd still be the most foolish one amongst them!"
"Thank you for those kind words. I will be sure to treasure them," Sárie spat bitterly.
"You would. Odd child. Pity your parent's didn't take you with them. You're enough of a disgrace to the Elven WORLD that no one would care if you just completely disappeared."
Sárie rubbed an eye and sniffed, the other hand clenched in a fist. Instead of saying anything, she spun on her heals and walked quickly away.
"That's right, run to your brother, you pathetic child. Learn to stand up for yourself and keep yourself away from my brother—You don't need more that one sibling, selfish fool!"
Sárie turned her head and shouted at her. "You can kick the dog when its a puppy, but you best watch yourself when it grows up!"
"You are very aptly named Sárie. Go drown in your bitterness and leave the rest of us be."
Sárie gave Ailin the filthiest look she could conjure up, and stomped off, heading for the dark of the forest. There she wouldn't be tormented so. The Elf was so angry that she barely remembered where she was going, which direction she had come from.
Stupid Ailin, she thought. Foolish, stupid, egotistical, aggravating Ailin! "I hate her, I hate them all!" Sárie screamed aloud, giving the tree next to her a hefty kick. It was then that she realized how quiet the forest had become. Normally, even on the break of night she could hear the birds chirping, but that evening everything was calm.
Too calm.
It feels like I've suddenly entered a tomb, she thought, shivering and clinging to her ripped clothing. There was a loud rustle behind her, and Sárie's heart began racing. Only one word came to mind: Run.
And run she did.
Sárie sprinted through the forest, so fast she could barely see. Branches slashed at her exposed arms and legs, but she did not stop. Some sort of beast was chasing her, and they were so fast--but not fast enough, she thought victoriously.
Sárie remained a few feet ahead of the chaser, and was certain she was nearly there when suddenly an ice cold arm grabbed hold of her. She screamed every curse she had ever heard, thrashing wildly.
"Calm down, child! I'm not going to bite!"
Sárie craned open an eye, and gasped in surprise. "Turelie?!"
Indeed, it was the familiar face of Ailin's elder brother. "Were you expecting another?" he asked. "I came to take you home, but the minute I came near you were off like a deer. Let's go before something else happe--" Sárie didn't hear the end of his sentence.
She felt herself hit something, a tree perhaps. After that, the memory was nothing more than blurry pictures.
Blood, so much blood--but hadn't Túrelie been wearing red? No, no, he was...... blood, there was blood all over him.
And screaming, nothing but endless hollow screaming, but it hadn't been her, it was the monster…. That horrible war cry.
There were rough hands around her neck, and she felt the world spinning, faster and faster until there was nothing more to see.
Wetness stained her face--blood, rain, tears, she knew not what it was.
And Túrelie was crying, she knew he was--but why wasn't she?
Who was she?
Names were running through her head--Sárie, Mehtar, Ailin--but she didn't know their meaning. Was she one of them? All she knew was the feeling of the rough hands..... on her throat, and that they were not good.
Air.
Of course. That's what she needed. But all she could taste was salt and blood and dirt, no sweet clean air to breathe.
Please, let it all stop...... let the Darkness just have it's way......... it would be so much easier.......
But instead of Darkness there was a great white light, and she felt herself falling... Silence washed over her, and the world disappeared.
Sárie took in a deep breath. It was now completely dark. Her face was soaked by tears. It didn't make sense, any of it.
Why couldn't I have died? she wondered helplessly. If I did, I would have saved myself a lifetime of suffering.
Sárie stood up. She needed to get out. Away from everything, but she couldn't. The memories brought back so much old pain and fear that she was terrified to leave her room, let alone the house at night.
So ironic, seeing as a week earlier, she had spent all night wrapped in the branches of a tree. She had tried so hard to forget, but it was something the world would not allow her to do.
You're doing it again, a voice said flatly in the back of her mind.
Sárie sighed. Doing what?
Remembering.
Is there something wrong with that?
There is when you know it will only cause pain. You're so useless.
Can't you ever go away?
How does it feel to know that YOU should have been the one who died there?
The Valar do as they see fit.
The Valar don't control all, foolish creature. Sárie gnashed her teeth angrily, wanting to scream with rage.
Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?
A hollow laugh. Unbelievable. You took my life away, you cunning little thief. I didn't want to die, I shouldn't have had to die--
STOP CALLING ME A MURDERER!
GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE AND I WILL!
The momentum of the last few comments hit SARIE hard, and she fell to the ground.
"……..Túrelie, IS THAT YOU?" she asked softly.
"Sárie, what are you doing on the floor?"
Oh, Illuvatar. Mehtar. She was going to have more explaining to do.
****
It had taken Sárie a considerable amount of time, but by the next day Mehtar was finally convinced that she had recovered enough to go out on her own. She considered this a remarkable feat.
Sárie lay in the grass which was still damp from the night's rainfall. She didn't care if her bottom got soaked. It was funny, she didn't seem to care about anything anymore. Why should she? No one gave a horse's behind about her. Sárie sighed. All she had to do was stay away from people. It was that simple. Why hope? Why pray? It all proved useless, and in the end, obvious that she was going to be hurt.
All she wanted was to let the sun warm her body, though it could do nothing to effect her numb mind. She closed her eyes and sighed, resting her head on an arm placed behind it.
"Sárie? Sárie!?" a concerned voice said, she felt someone gently shake her shoulders.
"Hrrrnnnnng?" she asked groggily. She opened her eyes, and blinked for a few moments before gaining anything more than a blur. She recognized Legolas take shape before her.
"Sárie, what are you doing out here alone? Surely after yesterday—"
"Legolas," Sárie said, cutting him off in mid-scold. "I appreciate your concern, but I am in perfect health. I do not need to be watched over." She sat up and glared at the Prince.
"Good. Then you are well enough to be honest with me. What happened yesterday? And what happened in the forest?" Legolas asked.
"I told you before, my business is private," Sárie stated firmly. Standing up and brushing herself off, she said, "Now if you excuse me, I'll take my leave......"
"Oh no you don't," Legolas said, with a glimmer in his eye Sárie did not entirely trust. Suddenly she found herself on the ground again, with something heavy on her back.
"Legolas, stop SITTING on me!" she screeched in aggravation.
"I will when you tell me what happened!" Legolas said, laughing.
"This isn't funny!"
"It isn't supposed to be. Just tell me the truth--I really am helping you, you know."
"You're helping me by breaking my back. Sure." Sárie wriggled around uncomfortably. Using all her strength, she managed to push Legolas off her back, but didn't get the desired effect. Now Legolas was sprawled over her, his face buried in her neck.
"Erm....." he began, sputtering.
"GET OFF!" Sárie screamed, louder than ever. Legolas scrambled away from her, his cheeks tinted red. The two sat side by side for a minute, not saying anything.
"Please, just tell me what happened," Legolas pleaded. "You're my friend, and I care about you, and don't want to you see you hurt--"
"Oh, do you now?" Sárie said coolly. "I'm sorry Legolas, I truly am. I've managed this far without "friends," and I think it would be easier to continue that way. If you care at all about yourself, you'll leave me be." She laughed bitterly. "Aren't I social poison, after all? Feel free to visit next time you're in Rivendell, but I probably won't be in."
"Will you stop that?" Legolas said, obviously irritated.
"Stop what?" Sárie growled in return. "I was not aware I had done anything."
"You… you are infuriating. You try to act strong an aloof, putting on airs while inside, you are a wreck. Sometimes you seem surprisingly similar to Ailin."
Sárie was taken back, and opened her mouth to protest, but Legolas would not allow her to speak. Her eyes narrowed and she scowled.
"Don't look at me like that. You pretend to be well, and so does your brother. You are both so desperate to live a normal life that you overlook the biggest issues. I can see it is slowly and painfully killing you. You hate yourself. You hate that you have no friends. You can't stand it. It is so plainly written on your face, as if you were a book I could read."
"You are wrong," Sárie snapped. "You are completely and thoroughly—"
"Correct. I am correct."
"No!" Sárie said, standing. "I will not sit here and take this abuse! Legolas, you call yourself my friend." She let out a bitter laugh. "Friends bring me nothing but pain. I have no need for them."
"Sárie," Legolas said sternly, grasping her shoulders. "Pain is a part of life. I know you have seen more of your fair share, but if you decided to confide in me, some of it might be lifted!"
Sárie scowled at him. His blue eyes were full of concern. She wondered, what could make him so persistent? She realized it was because he was truly worried about her, that he was someone who actually cared.
Sárie found that she was unable to look at him. She cast her gaze to the side, and felt him gently squeeze her shoulder as a sort of reassurance.
"You would not believe it," she managed to spit out.
"Why do you say that?" he asked softly, his voice oddly comforting.
"When I spoke of what happened, long ago, they said I was mad."
"Look at me," Legolas said, cupping her face with his hand. She glanced up at him for a brief second, then turned away in embarrassment. "Sárie. Look at me." This time she complied, holding his gaze for a long moment. "I would never call you crazy."
"Yes you would!" she protested.
"I might say you were a bit daft--all in good fun of course-- but never would I accuse you of being mad. Do you believe me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Absolutely not."
"Then yes, I believe you."
Sárie took a deep breath, looking as though she were stumbling for the right words. "I don't really remember much of it, to be honest..... All I know for sure is that there was more than one creature that attacked, that they were neither Elf nor Men, and that I did not kill Túrelie." She saw Legolas glance at her quickly. "I'm positive I didn't, I was......... busy." She shivered. "All I can remember seeing is blood, so much blood....... I was struggling and couldn't do anything and I felt so HELPLESS, and all I wanted was for it all to end. And then it did end, and I didn't know what to do. I blacked out and awoke lying on my back, my mind screaming at me. My head....... Oh, it hurts so much...... Please, may the Valar be kind and not let me die, please please please please....... It was then I realized that I was not thinking those words; something else—some ONE else--was deep in the back of my mind. And I couldn't calm them down. That was the most terrifying part of the whole experience: not understanding what my mind and body was doing, not being able to control it." Sárie took a deep breath.
Though her voice had wavered, she had carried out until the end, and not shed a tear. Quite a remarkable achievement. She waited for Legolas to burst into hysteric laughter, or give some witty comment of how she was making up some half-baked story. She glanced over at him quickly before staring back at the ground. "And now you know," she said, trying to break a most awkward silence.
"Thank you for telling me," Legolas managed to say, obviously not quite knowing what to do. He had never heard anything quite so far-fetched and unrealistic, yet he knew that Sárie would not lie. "Your temperament is not often sweet, but having seen further into your psyche, I now feel that I can properly empathize and communicate with you." He tried to make sense of his words, but he could now, having spouted some flowery rubbish.
Sárie rolled her eyes and stood up, walking away without a word.
"Sárie!" Legolas called after her. "Sárie! Wait for me!" Sárie did not acknowledge him. "Sárie!" he cried, grabbing her wrist and spinning her around to look her in the face. "What has gotten into you?"
"Me? What has gotten into me?" Sárie yelled. "I tell you all, make the truth known to the world, and suddenly you think that gives you the right to act pretentious towards me? I won't have it!"
"That wasn't what I was trying to convey--listen to me!" Legolas tightened his grip on Sárie's arm, making it so she couldn't escape him. "I only wanted to reassure you. I'm not going to abandon our friendship now that I know what ails you so." His eyes seemed to soften then. "If anything, I shall be even more diligent a friend than before."
Sárie smiled for a minute, a true, pure smile, but her happiness crumbled within a moment. "But...... Oh Legolas, how am I ever going to learn to deal with this? Now that someone else knows my burden, I feel that I can't hold it anymore. I don't want this. What am I...... what are we going to do?" she whispered.
****
A/N Well, hope that was worth the wait!
Don't forget to flame! You know I deserve it! XD
