"We were, we are."She paused to let out the breath she was holding. "We got married?"

As she said this Vaughn could no longer hold his emotions in check. Tears began to flow from his eyes and he could barely she Sydney through them. He could, however, see that she was in tears as well. After a few moments he wiped his eyes, and looked at her.

"Sydney, it was on our wedding night," He stopped, he could barely breathe. He had never before even imagined having to explain this to her. After a few moments he gained control of himself. "It was that night that you, you died." He let go again, and the tears flowed faster, and uncontrollably. Sydney stared at him. He was in so much pain, and she was so incredibly confused she could barely comprehend his words. Instead she just watched Vaughn cry. He shook violently from his sobs of pain.

After a moment Sydney gathered up her courage and reached her hand out to him. She touched his hand which was holding his head, and as she did so he looked up at her. As their eyes met, Sydney pulled him to her, and held him. She let him cry against her chest, as she pulled him closer and closer. She kissed the top of his head, and breathed in his scent. And for a moment she closed her eyes and she could almost let herself pretend that their lives together were back to what she remembered. She could almost pretend that it was still the last night she remembered, and they were going to go to Santa Barbra, and that they were still figuring out how much they loved each other.

But Vaughn's cries kept her firmly rooted in reality. He began to call her name as if she weren't there holding him. He cried, and yelled, and held her so tightly she could barely breathe. But she just sat there, through all of his pain, she held him, she cried with him, she told him that she was real, and that she loved him, and that everything was going to be alright. But even as she said these words she didn't believe him. As she spoke calm and soothing words to him she couldn't help but wonder if they would ever have what they had had together. She wasn't even sure what they had together. She tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help but picture his eyes as they looked at her in the safe house in Hong Kong. She could feel the burning scrutiny, the total disbelief, the .nothingness.

The thought of all this sent shivers down her spine, and caused her to cry even harder. She could understand now how he would look at her as though she were a ghost. She practically was one. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there were some things that would never be the same for her again. And she hoped, and she prayed, which she didn't do often, but she pleaded with any power higher than her own, that she and Vaughn could find their love for each other once again, that that would be the same.

Over an hour later Sydney was still holding Vaughn on their couch, in their house. He had fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion. She had waited a while, still holding him, just to make sure she didn't wake him when she slowly maneuvered from under him. After she was free, she wandered through their house. She found his room. It was distinctly male. After his room she wandered into another, larger room. It was the master bedroom. It was theirs.

As she walked through the room they had shared, she found herself searching for feeling, any feeling. She was afraid by the fact that she wasn't feeling anything. Was she just numb, after all she'd learned today? Was she just scared to feel her true emotions? As she wandered further into the room, and searched further through her mind, she found herself feeling one thing. Guilt. She found that she was angry at herself for not remembering. She felt incredibly guilty that she had no recollection of her life with Vaughn. He was her husband, and she could not remember that.

She sat down on their bed and stared into the mirror that hung on the opposite wall. She looked at herself, and it scared her at first. But then her curiosity peeked. Her eyes, she recognized the look in them. She could see deep down into her own soul. But it was the disbelief that shocked her. It was the look of betrayal, and anguish. Her eyes held the expression which Vaughn had had in Hong Kong. She saw herself as an apparition, in disbelief, and in horror. She was a ghost to herself. She had died, and maybe to her it wasn't real, but to everyone else, to everyone she knew and loved, it was a reality. She'd died, and as she looked in the mirror, for the first time she understood the fullness of what that meant.