Goodbye
by Apple-chan

Disclaimer: insert witty disclaimer remark here

AnnaXYoh. A look at what happened right before Yoh left for America. Was supposedly only 2-part, but is now 3-part.

Spoilers: For episode 25 of the Anime

Warnings: Utter weirdness. Lots of utter weirdness.

Others: OOC-ish. Or completely OOC. Yoh is...very weird here. I mean, seriously weird.

Same scenes as the first part, only this time, it's in Yoh's POV.

Part Two: Yoh

Wait for Me

I gave her a sidelong glance as I brushed my teeth.

Less than two days. You'll be leaving in less than two days, Asakura Yoh.

The day after tomorrow, I would be on a plane, on my way to America with my Shaman friends. The second preliminaries were to take place on a village known as Patch, somewhere in that country called America.

America.

I wonder how far exactly it was from Japan?

I wonder how far exactly Patch Village is from Funbarigaoka?

I sighed as I continued brushing my teeth. Probably farther than I would have the patience to count. I can't even distinguish north from south in a map.

I wonder how long it would take, that plane ride from here to America...

I wonder how long before we're able to find Patch Village. I mean, the organizers gave us three months to find it. Just how difficult can finding one village be?

I don't know. As I said, I can't even read a map right. Ren and the guys know how to read a map, though. At least, I sincerely hope they do.

Well...that's reassuring, somehow. I think.

I gazed up at the clock. Two more minutes before I rinse my mouth. Brushing teeth really takes time. A minimum of five minutes per session, and three times brushing session a day. That's fifteen minutes of time spent only on brushing teeth. But tooth-brushing is very vital to the health of the teeth, and thus, the health of the body. And for that reason, it should never been taken lightly. Or so Anna says.

Anna.

I almost forgot about her.

No...I didn't 'almost forgot'. She had always been there, lurking at the back of my...heart. I was just...scared to think about her.

Not because I'm scared of her. Okay, so maybe that's part of the reason. Alright, alright, so maybe half the reason I try not to think about her, and kept the thought of her at the back of my heart, was because I was dead scared of her.

I was scared that if I showed any emotion concerning her, she would...she would kill me. Well, not really kill me, but you know--hurt me a lot for me to wish I was dead if I ever did anything...tried anything at all to show that...well...that I was going to miss her.

The other half reason as to why I try not to think of her, and of leaving her, is because...it...hurt. A lot.

How many months, exactly, would I be gone, after all? Three? Five? Half a year? Maybe...a whole year?

Just thinking about not having her around for, say, a couple of days, made me feel...incomplete. Somehow.

And just thinking about leaving her...well, I already said that, didn't I? That it hurt. Thinking of waking up in the morning and not seeing her with me hurt. Thinking of sleeping at night without the assurance that she would be in the other room hurt.

And the thought that...that there's a possibility that, in less than two days, when I say goodbye to her, it might be the last time I will see her...that hurt.

It's so nice to think positively. That I'll be back. That everything will be alright, somehow.

That when I come back, she would be there, waiting for me.

And I will come back.

But I might not.

That's why I try not to think of her. Of leaving her. Because thinking of leaving her gave me pain, and thinking of that pain, makes me remember that there's that fifty percent chance that I might not come back. To her.

It was hard, like this. Half of me wanted to smile and say to her that "I will win and I'll come back," while the other half wanted to just...I don't know. Do something. Anything. Anything to make me remember her. Anything to make me go on for a while without her there physically with me. Anything.

I gave her another sidelong glance as I finished brushing my teeth. I rinsed my mouth. Then I gazed at the clock.

Exactly five minutes. Great.

Less than two days before I leave for America.

Less than two days, and I still hadn't been able to say goodbye. To her.

I mean, as my fiancée, and with all the training and everything she had given me, I owe her at least that much, before I leave.

And I owe it to myself, as well.

I needed something to remember her by. I will be leaving, but I was going to come back. And I need to have a memory of what I was going back for.

-Who- I was going back for.

Gathering up the last bit of my courage, I spoke. "Anna..."

"What?" She glared at me. I cringed. So much for that. Why was she so angry...?

Is it because...I haven't said goodbye to her yet...?

"Ah...ano...you...want to take a walk with...me...?" I asked with hesitation. Please say yes, say yes, say yes...

"Walk?" She repeated.

I nodded. As I examined her face, I heaved a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't glaring anymore. Good. Omedetto, Asakura Yoh, I thought, patting myself at the back mentally.

"In this weather?" Oh no. Is that hesitation I hear from her voice...? I hope to God not. I mean, it was cold, but it wasn't that cold...

Was it...?


Oh, never mind. "Uh-huh," I smiled. It was the only thing I could do to not look like an idiot. But maybe I already looked like an idiot before I even started to speak. Ah, well. Why would it matter, anyway? Anna already thinks YOU'RE an idiot, so it's an irrelevant subject to think about...

A number of conflicting emotions flashed across her pretty face. God, she's pretty. Beautiful, in fact...so beautiful that I...

Wait, hold on a second...

Conflicting emotions on her face...? That's...that's...the Kyouyama Anna I know has a poker face that's very hard to crack, so why...

Is there something wrong with her...?

"Anna?" I tried. I called her.

She seemed to snap back into focus. Poker face was back in full flash. But she was still lost in thought, I could tell.

Not for long, though. "Okay." She said. Poker face still in check.

Wait...she said okay? She actually agreed?

Omedetto gozaimasu, Asakura Yoh. Great job. "Great!" I could feel the excitement that was probably written on my whole face. As I went to my room to get some warm clothes, I could have sworn I saw a hint of an expression on her face.

A smile...that made her so beautiful...

Now I understand why she never smiled at me much lately. If, at any point before I left, she smiles at me directly, I don't think I would be able to leave at all.

I don't think I would ever want to leave. Who would? Seeing her smile like that was probably better than being Shaman King.

*~*~*~*~*~*

So peaceful, this lake. And so beautiful, at night. Even at this cold weather.

And her.

I didn't risk a glance at her, but instead, I leaned across the railings and stared out at the lake, and at the sky. At the periphery of my eyes I saw her, and I knew she was standing right next to me.

I don't think anything else would be more perfect than this...

"Three months, isn't it?" Her soft, lilting voice broke my reverie.

The journey to Patch Village. That was what she was talking about. I gazed at her, and with a nod, I said, "Three months to get to Patch Village..." I murmured the last couple of syllables to the lake. I couldn't look at her anymore, not when she was looking at me like that.

Not when she was looking at me like it would be a long time before she gets to see me again.

Not when she was looking at me like all of that mattered to her.

Like I--and my forthcoming absence in her life--mattered to her.

A long silence followed.

Less than two days, Asakura Yoh.

That's still plenty of time. Plenty of time to say goodbye.

But...how can I say goodbye...when I don't even want to leave...?

If you look at it in a more...negative way, there was only a whole day and several hours before I leave. To be more precise, A whole day and an hour and fifteen minutes. And five seconds.

Okay--a whole day, an hour, and fifteen minutes flat now.

You need to say goodbye now. Now. Why did you even ask her for a walk?

I'm entitled to that. I can take her for a walk every now and then, can't I? I'll be marrying her someday, after all. She -is- my fiancée, after all.

But there was a reason that you asked her for a walk right now.

No, there is no reason. I just felt like taking a walk with her.

No, you don't. If this was any ordinary day, you'll be too scared to do something like this.

Hmm. You're right.

Admit it already. You want to say goodbye to her.

Yeah, I do. I want to say goodbye to her.

Good. So, what are you waiting for? Do it already!

Right, right.

But I don't want to leave.

And I don't want to say goodbye.

But I have to.

How do you say goodbye?

"Yoh." Anna. Anna is talking. She's talking to me.

"Yeah?" I looked at her questioningly. I didn't want to look at her, but I did anyway.

And I couldn't look away after that. I just continued to gaze at her, examine her profile, her eyes, her face, her movements...

"I..." She seemed to be struggling against some inner turmoil. "I..." Her body trembled.

"You cold?" I asked.

She nodded.

Let's see. I know there's a vending machine around here somewhere...there it is. I went to it, fished a couple of yen from my jacket's pockets, and bought some tea.

I tossed one of the cans towards her. She had sat down at one of the benches. I remained standing, watching her. She gazed at the tea, then at me. Then she rubbed the can against her cheek gently. "Warm..." she murmured softly.

God...is anything more perfect than seeing her like this?

Now I REALLY don't wanna leave.

But she'd probably kill me if I told her that. "You were saying?"

She looked up at me, surprised. No more poker face. I felt like I was seeing a whole new different Anna--an Anna who showed her emotions.

I like it. "I...Yoh, I..." She was struggling for words to say to me. This is the first time I've seen her tongue-tied. And with ME, at that.

Maybe because it's YOU.

Well, that's reassuring. I nodded at her, asking her to go on, continue with what she was saying.

She looked at me. And I mean looked, straight into my eyes.

Okay, I can die right about now...

"If you lose, I will never forgive you."

I was startled by that. Not exactly what I was hoping for. But hey, this is Anna. I'll take what I can get. "I know. I won't lose." I said with a grin.

"Good." She smiled, and I knew I said the right thing.

She started to stand up, and at that second, I knew our walk--and our talk--was over.

"We should be getting home. It's late." She stood up completely, brushed something off her skirt, and turned towards the direction of the house.

Wait...wait. Wait!

I haven't even said goodbye yet!

Stupid, stupid, idiot, idiot Asakura Yoh. Waiting until the last minute. You don't even know how to say goodbye to her, do you?

It doesn't matter, I shot back at the voice that keeps interfering with my thoughts. Not anymore. I don't have any more time left. I have to do something...say goodbye, in whatever possible way. Say goodbye in a way that would make her remember me...a way that would make me remember her...a way for us to remember each other...

Something. Anything.

I took a step towards her retreating back. It's now or never. I took a step closer.

And closer...

And closer...until I was standing directly behind her, my front only a mere millimeter away from her back.

Upon reflex, or instinct, I don't know. But at next second, my arms were around her in a warm, possessive,--almost frantic--embrace.

And I felt her body rest against mine.

Minutes passed like seconds. Seconds disappeared into nothingness.

Time stood still. Or so it seemed, to me. To both of us.

And I could feel my heart pounding. Or was that...her heart?

It was pounding frantically, almost...almost...like it was crying.

Like she was crying.

She was crying. She was really crying.

Yoh. Say something. Say something, quickly. Anything...

I had no indecision. "You can slap me now if you want," I said softly, almost reverently. "I don't care. But this is the only time I'll get to do this. I need to do this before I leave. I want to remember you. I want to remember what I'm coming back for. "

-Who- I'm coming back for, I thought.

But I didn't say it out loud.

She didn't answer, but I didn't feel her struggling either. Dear god, I hope she wouldn't break away from my embrace.

She didn't.

"Are you angry with me?" I had to ask. I wondered if she was.

She shook her head. I heaved a sigh of relief. "Good." More than good, I thought. Wonderful. I wrapped my arms around her tighter, savoring the feel of her against me.

THIS was heaven.

How can I even leave her after this? I wondered.

"Yoh..." She touched my arms...and my hands. But she didn't pull away. She touched my arms and hands like she wanted them there, around her.

Like she wanted me to embrace her.

And never let go.

"Anna...?" I wonder what she wanted to say.

"I..." An indrawn breath. "I..." She was struggling for words again. And I never really thought ANNA would ever struggle for words to say to ME.

"What is it, Anna?" I gazed at her face from where I am. My face was so close to hers...

She shook her head. The tears...were still falling down her face..."Just...just...come back to me, okay?" Her voice cracked a bit while she said that.

She said that...like she wanted me to come back.

Which means, she had already accepted that I was going to leave. And she was ready for it.

And upon hearing that--maybe I am, too.

I'm ready to leave. I know she would be waiting for me. Waiting for my return.

And I smiled. "I will." I embraced her even tighter. "Of course I will."

And you'd better be there when I get back.

You'd better wait for me.

"Yoh."

"Yeah?"

"I..." She paused. Very briefly. "I'll miss you."

I think that was what she was trying to tell me all this time. That was why she was struggling so much. She didn't want to tell me she was going to miss me.

I gave a little chuckle. "I'll miss you too."

I could swear I heard a faint laugh from her. I don't think she even noticed.

We stood there, for a while, with me holding her, and her leaning against me.

The sound of her heartbeat against mine was strangely comforting. It was beating the same way, like it was...feeling the same thing my heart was feeling.

And she didn't need to say it. I knew it. I felt it.

Just come back to me...a faint whisper, coming from her heart.

Wait for me, my heart answered.

Wait for me.

TSUZUKU.

Replies:

yuri maxwell = Ne, no one can stop writer's blocks, can they? But I sure as hell am glad I'm not getting it lately.=) Uhm...the only inspiration I have for this fic is Yoh. Yoh, and Anna, no one else. =) Anyway, thanks for reviewing, yuri-chan! Hopefully you'll get to read this before it disappears from the first page of the Shaman King fic list here in ff.net!=)

syaoran no hime = Thanks for reviewing! Hope you didn't get too embarassed at the Internet Cafe *laughs* Ne, don't we ALL wish this was what really happened in the anime...? That's the reason why I made this fic. Glad you liked it. And uhm...about Hao...*looks around* I'm thinking of writing something with him in it...watch out for that.=)

Kataru = *nods in agreement*

WithoutMorals-Revived = Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!=)

falala wuteva/GoddessLD/MomoiroRyuu/anna asakura/KiraX105 = Here you go--second part! Thanks for reviewing!=)

da*mouse = Thanks for the review. I'm glad you think I portrayed Anna well. I sure hope the same goes for my portrayal of Yoh...although I do think this Yoh POV is very weird...but that's just me.=)

Unmei = I'm no expert on writing, but the authors of the books I've read are (or so I think). One of my main influences in my style is uhm...V.C. Andrews. Unfortunately, she's dead.=( But Flowers in the Attic is a very good book. My style is kind of like it. Anyway, thanks for the review!=)

End notes:

Updated July 14, 2003 along with the first part--just the notice above, and the third to the last line below. And the "owarimashita" was changed to "tsuzuku," for very obvious reasons.^^

Yoh is so smitten. Yoh is so in LOVE. Yoh is so WEIRD when he's in LOVE. Enough said.=)

The voice inside Yoh's head is not as annoying as the voice inside Anna's head. That's because Yoh doesn't fight with the voice inside his head much. He usually agrees with it. Anna, on the other hand, is always fighting with the voice inside her head.=)

There's a certain part in the Anime where Yoh was reading a map and he asks the guys which way north was in the map.=) I added that bit of info here as a bonus. That part was really funny.

The tooth-brushing thing: eh...well, for a lack of a better um...filler for that part. The five-minute bit was the first thing that came into my mind while writing that part. And it's true, by the way--minimum of five minutes in brushing teeth, yada-yada. I heard that from my dentist.=)

Thanks for all the reviews for the first chapter. It's confirmed. This is officially now a 3-part fic. Yeah.

I hope you all enjoyed this part. Because I enjoyed writing it. Yes, I did.=)

Reviews will be very much appreciated.