Goodbye
by Apple-chan
Disclaimer: insert witty
disclaimer remark here
AnnaXYoh. A look at what happened right before
Yoh left for America. 2-part. Or in this case, 3-part.^^;;;
Spoilers: For
episode 25 of the Anime
Warnings: Utter weirdness. Lots of utter
weirdness. Might I stress that -this- chapter is, by far, the -weirdest- of the
lot.
The scenes after the walk. And then the morning when Yoh leaves.
Third person POV.
Final Part
Goodbye to You
I believe in you.
I believe that you'll come back
to me.
I believe in us.
And I'll wait for you.
I
will.
Kyouyama Anna contemplated these thoughts as she looked over a
map. With the tip of her finger, she traced a certain area of the Japanese
archipelago where Funbarigaoka would be, and then, she trailed her finger across
the map, right across Pacific Ocean, to that enormous piece of land up north,
far northeast of Japan. And her finger stopped right in the middle of that vast
stretch of land called America.
America...
Is so far
away...
And tomorrow, you'll be going there. You...won't be here
anymore...
You won't be here.
I'll be...I'll be...
I'll
be...alone.
A lone tear escaped from the young Itako's eyes. She
wiped it away hastily.
I will not cry again. I will never cry again.
Not until he leaves, she vowed.
Once was enough. Never
again.
I have to be strong.
I have to be strong for him.
I
have to be strong for us.
With a sigh, Kyouyama Anna the Itako stood
up, folded and put away the map she had been studying, and went down the stairs
to help Tamao prepare dinner.
Dinner...for him. For Yoh.
For
the last time.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Have faith in
me.
I promise I'll come back to you.
I will...just trust me.
Trust in me.
Trust in us.
And you'd better be waiting when
I get back.
You'd better wait for me.
"Yoh-kun?" Asakura Yoh
looked up as a small, hesitant voice broke his reverie. They were on their way
home, and had only paused at a traffic light.
"Yeah?" He looked down over
at the small boy and gave a smile.
Manta looked up at his friend with
concern. "Are you alright?"
No. "Uh-huh," the young brown-haired
shaman smiled again and nodded. I'm not alright.
Tomorrow
morning, I'm leaving.
I'm going to America.
And...it's so
far...from Japan...
It's so far from...her.
When I get there, she
won't be there...she'll be here.
Not there with me, but here, without
me.
And I don't want that.
I don't want to leave.
I
don't want to leave her.
Yoh gave a sigh. But I have to. She
expects me to. She wants me to. I don't want to disappoint her. I have to do
this. I have to do this for her. For me.
For us.
"I'll see you
off at the airport tomorrow, ne, Yoh-kun?" Manta told him, interrupting another
one of his train of thoughts.
Although he was distracted, Yoh didn't show
it. He just smiled at his small friend again and replied, "Yeah. See you
tomorrow." Manta waved at him and he waved back.
He then looked over at
his spirit. "We had better get back. Anna is waiting for us."
"Aa."
Amidamaru nodded, and followed his master's retreating back.
Anna...is
waiting for me.
Waiting.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You
didn't eat.
It's your last day here, and Tamao and I took great pains in
making a wonderful dinner for you, and you didn't even come home in time to eat
it.
You know, sometimes I really hate you.
Sometimes I really
do...yet...a lot of the times...I just forget.
And then I
remember.
I do.
I can't hate you. I can never hate you.
I
can never hate you...because I...
The young Itako slid open the door
of her fiancé's bedroom and gazed at his sleeping form. "You went home without
even greeting me," She said to him coolly. "You didn't eat dinner," she added
icily, not particularly caring if he was asleep or awake. "It's brave of you to
even try that, really," she said, lacing her voice with sarcasm to cover up the
hurt she really felt inside. You didn't even say goodnight to me.
That
hurts.
That hurts a lot.
And you're leaving tomorrow.
That
hurts even more.
But I don't hate you.
I
can't.
"Anyway," She continued in an icy tone, ignoring the way her
voice practically cracked at the next syllable, "your new battle clothes. I just
finished them." Her voice dropped several decibels lower at the last word. She
tossed a small bag containing the said battle clothes at the foot of his
bed.
With a final whisper, she added, "Oyasumi."
Then she closed
the door.
And then, Kyouyama Anna leaned at the closed door heavily, as
if all her strength had left her.
You're stronger now. Much stronger
than before.
And it's not because of me. It's because of
you.
She drew in a shaky breath. And tomorrow, you won't be here
anymore.
You won't be here.
You...won't be...with
me...anymore.
Not anymore...
*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm
sorry.
I'm sorry, Anna. I know I should have come home earlier, but...I
just couldn't face you.
I couldn't. No matter how much I want
to.
Because...because...it hurts.
Because I'm leaving. I'm leaving
you.
No matter how many times I try to accept, it still doesn't change
the fact that I'm...I'm leaving.
I'm sorry. I don't think I could have
eaten dinner--no matter how delicious it is--and I know, with you and Tamao
working on it, it must have been wonderful--while I was feeling like
this.
Feeling like...my heart was breaking.
I'm
sorry, Anna. I just...I just...
Asakura Yoh heard--and
felt--something being tossed at the foot of his bed. He didn't dare move an
inch. He knew she was still there. He knew it.
Conflicting emotions
fought inside him, evident in the expression on his face. Part of him wanted to
get up and apologize and say thank you and goodnight and hug her and...but
another part of him--the stronger part, willed him not to get up, not to say
anything, not to do anything. And of course, that part won.
"Oyasumi."
Her final word was said in a whisper.
And Yoh could feel his heart
smashing into pieces.
He really should have gotten up and greeted her. He
really should have.
I'm sorry, Anna. I can't look at you right now. I
don't know if I can.
Because...
It hurts...so much...to look at
you...
I'm sorry.
Anna...have I ever told you? I...
Oyasumi
nasai, Anna.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
I'm leaving
you.
You...
*~*~*~*~*~*
Goodbye.
Such
an easy word. Seven letters, two syllables.
Goodbye.
There
was a whole world of meaning underneath such a simple word. A whole
world.
The whole world.
The whole world...is exactly what he is
to me.
He is...my world.
Goodbye.
Underneath all that
simplicity, was the pain. The heartache. The meaning behind it.
So
simple, yet...so final.
Goodbye. One word. Just one.
Easy,
right?
Wrong.
Goodbye...probably is the hardest thing in the
world to say.
And it isn't any different with me.
I have
never been good with feelings. Saying "I'll miss you" took a whole lot of
effort.
Saying goodbye is even harder.
The
hardest.
Because...I don't want to say goodbye.
The sound of
front door opening broke Anna's train of thoughts. And then, the door
closed.
From her bedroom window, a voice, calm but loud, was heard. "What
a great weather!" Yoh.
Yoh.
Almost immediately, Anna stood
up. With the swiftness of the long-trained and skillful Itako that she was, she
went down the stairs and headed out to the front door. Tamao was already there,
clutching something in her hand. She looked up at Anna, then at the front door,
clearly debating on whether she should open the door or not.
Anna decided
for her. The young Itako opened the door and got out, with Tamao trailing behind
her.
When they got out, Yoh's friends were already there, quite eager and
ready to leave.
Yoh noticed Anna, and he smiled, but he didn't look her
way. Although he looked as energetic as ever, a hint of sadness laced his
eyes.
Anna refused to look at Yoh, but instead, turned her attention to
the other girl, who seemed incredibly nervous. She then noticed the small object
that Tamao was clutching in her hand like it meant everything in the world to
her. And then Anna understood.
"You have something you want to give to
him, right?" She asked. Tamao nodded vigorously.
Anna watched as the
other girl approached her fiancé. Yoh glanced at Tamao
questioningly.
Blushing profusely, Tamao took a deep breath, and held out
her hand to reveal a small golden medallion with intricate carving.
Yoh
smiled. "Sankyuu," he said, taking the medallion from her
hands.
"Yoh-sama...please look after yourself," Tamao
whispered.
"I will." Yoh answered with another smile at the girl.
And then...Yoh turned...and looked at Anna.
And he smiled. The
biggest, most sincere smile he could muster.
His smile was simple,
directed to her. Yet, his eyes spoke volumes.
I want to remember you.
I want to remember what I'm coming back for, his eyes told
her.
Who I'm coming back for.
You.
"Well then..."
Yoh turned to his companions. And then he looked over at Anna one more
time.
One last time.
And Anna took a deep breath before she
spoke. "If you lose, I will never let you step on this property. Ever
again."
Not goodbye.
I don't want...to say
goodbye.
Yoh nodded, smiling again. "I know."
Anna...wait
for me.
He then turned his back. "Alright, let's go."
Together
with Horo-horo and Ryu, the three of them walked out of the house, out into the
sunlight.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
But...maybe...I already
have.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I didn't say goodbye.
I
didn't.
She did...but I didn't.
Or did I?
I should
have.
Shouldn't I?
In one of the seats of one of the Tao
family's private planes, Asakura Yoh sat and contemplated those thoughts, with
his head cradled in his right hand, his eyes looking out the window and staring
at the clouds.
Then, slowly, he raised his left hand to the window, which
was misty from his breath, and with his index finger, he wrote a couple of
Japanese characters in the mist.
An "a." And then, an "n." And then, the
hiragana for "na."
A-n-na. Anna.
Anna.
Yoh sighed,
staring at the name he wrote on the mist.
You told her that you want
to remember her.
You promised to come back.
You hugged
her.
Wasn't all that enough?
Was it? He asked the voice.
Was it really?
I mean, goodbye. How hard can saying that be?
It's such a simple word.
I'm just a coward. I mean, I had her alone that
day, and even then, I couldn't do it.
I couldn't...because...it's not
easy saying goodbye.
It's not.
Yoh recalled the events of the
previous night. He remembered how she had opened his bedroom door. He remembered
how she had berated him for not coming home in time for dinner. He remembered
how she had told him that he even had the nerve to not greet her.
Most of
all, he remembered how hurt she sounded.
How hurt she was when she told
him his battle clothes--clothes that she made for him--were ready.
And he
remembered the way her voice cracked, like she was hurting so much, when she bid
him goodnight.
But still, he didn't stand up. He didn't even look at her,
or acknowledge her presence. He just...continued to lay down and not say
anything...anything at all, like the coward that he
was.
Coward.
You're a coward, Asakura Yoh, he berated
himself.
A big coward.
"Tea?" One of the plane's attendants
offered to him, breaking his latest series of thoughts.
He nodded.
"Sankyuu." The attendant handed him the can. And he stared at it,
thinking.
The tea.
You bought her tea. Didn't you?
Yes.
Yes, I did. But that...that wasn't part of the goodbye. She...she was cold. It
was the least I could do.
Wasn't it?
Wasn't that tea part of the
goodbye?
The walk, the tea, the talk, and then, the hug...wasn't all of
that goodbye?
And then, Yoh stood up. He paced along the floor of the
airplane, all the while gazing at the can of tea in his hand. All the while
thinking, was all of that really goodbye?
Did I say goodbye to
her...without even knowing it?
Is that even possible?
Think
of it this way, the voice inside his head explained. How do you know
she's already said goodbye to you? I mean, she never even uttered the words, did
she?
No, Yoh answered the voice with a thought of his own.
No, she didn't.
But she did say goodbye, correct?
Yes.
Yes she did.
How did you know?
I heard her.
What did she
say?
Come back to me.
What?
She said, "come back to me."
And then after that, she said she'll miss me.
And what did you
say?
I said I'll miss her too.
And...?
I told her...I told
her to...wait for me.
You did?
Not out loud.
But she
understood?
I think she did.
How do you know?
She answered
back.
-Not- out loud?
Yeah. Not out loud.
How? How did you
know she answered?
Well, my heart heard her...Yoh stopped dead in his
tracks.
My heart.
My heart. Her heart.
My.Heart.
Her.Heart.
Our hearts.
They know.
They've known all along,
haven't they? All this time...they've said goodbye to each
other.
Well...the heart has always been known to be more eloquent
and more expressive than the mind, the mouth, and the body...
It
has?
Yes, it has.
You...you're my heart, aren't
you?
So...you've finally figured it out.
Yoh's face broke out
into a smile.
Aa. I finally
have.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kyouyama Anna gazed up at the sky,
as if seeing the plane Yoh was riding in taking off into the
sunlight.
You've known all along, haven't you? She asked the voice
inside her.
Uh-huh. Of course I have.
You could have told
me.
Now, where would the fun be if I had done that? The voice asked
teasingly.
Never mind.
But you -did- figure it out, didn't
you?
Anna smiled her rare, beautiful smile. Yes. Yes, I
did.
You should do that more often. He likes it.
Who
does?
You know who I'm talking about. The teasing tone was back in
the voice again. He's figured it out, too.
I know. Anna
smiled at the sky. I know.
I can feel
it.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Goodbye--such a simple word.
So
simple, yet so complex at the same time.
Just like love.
OWARIMASHITA.
Replies:
KiraX105/Sweet Anime Fan/GoddessLD/Dark-Hooded Eriol the Mag = Thanks for the lovely reviews! Here's part three! I hope you like it!=)
yuri maxwell = You know me too well.=) Anyway, here's the third and final part...and request for another fic granted.=) Chapter 1 of Celebrations is up!
Bratty = You are very welcome.^_^ Thank you so much for the review!
da*mouse = Archive permission rights granted. I'd be honored to have this fic hosted at your site! I've seen it, and I absolutely love it! Arigatou for being such a wonderful reviewer! Oh...and would you please continue "If I Could Change the World" already? If you don't...I'll have to threaten you with a knife as well.*grins* Just kidding! Thanks again!
Unmei = I really wonder why anyone would even review just to get credit for themselves...I mean, that's not a purpose of a review, is it? The purpose of a review is to either critique (in a nice way) or praise or comment on another person's work. Isn't it?^_^ Anyway, that email you got...is probably from someone who doesn't understand these things. Else, he/she is just probably jealous of you.=) The important thing is, you know who you are, and you know that you sincerely mean anything you say(or, in this case, anything you write). Ne?^_^
End notes:
I really, sincerely hope that made
sense.^^
Eh...had to write this. I just couldn't stand to leave it
hanging like that, with the two of them going on and on and Yoh not leaving.
Well, that and uh...the death threat...with the knife and everything. Yeah.
Scared the hell out of me.^^;;;
Goodbye to You
belongs to Michelle Branch. Although I did not put it along with this fic, I
still used it when I wrote this chapter, so it deserves some
recognition.
This is the last of this particular fic series for me, so
thanks to all who have read and reviewed and liked it and those who read but not
reviewed and liked it anyway^^. I'll be seeing you all in my next SK fic.
Although you shouldn't get your hopes up too much, if I get into the mood, I
just might write a spin-off for this. Meaning...based from this, but not exactly
along the lines. Maybe somewhere farther off into the series. Again, might.
Stress on the word might.
Which reminds me...PLUG: Please read
Celebrations and kindly review, if you may. It's a little bit different
from my previous SK fics, a lot weirder, and...um. But it's still got
AnnaXYoh...and you all like that, don't you? Because otherwise...you wouldn't be
reading this.=) As I said, it's mostly AnnaXYoh, with some other stuff. Anyway,
that's it. Celebrations. Please read. Please review. Thank you
all.^_^
And yeah, for this chapter, reviews will still be very very much
appreciated.=)
