Title: Once Again
Author: Tasha
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Action/Adventure with a little Angst thrown in for good measure.
Summary: J/I Takes place after Endgame
Disclaimer: I do not own Alias and am not making any money from this fic.
Jack still had half a cup of coffee left when he saw Sydney enter the building. She was walking beside Michael Vaughn, her face glowing. They weren't touching, not quite, but occasionally Sydney would sway towards him and he would stop himself from reaching out to her. As much as Jack had once disliked their relationship, he could see her happiness in her eyes. Eyes that at that moment, caught his and shuttered instantly. Even from 20 feet away, Jack saw his daughter tense at the sight of him and watched as she turned her cold eyes from him. He had to will the pain away, the pain no father ever wants to feel. The pain that comes of knowing your daughter hates you and knowing you caused it.
~*Flashback*~
She took a while to answer the phone, it had been 7 rings and he was on the verge of hanging up. That was why when she answered, he had to think for a second. He had to take a moment to think about the carefully rehearsed words he had been practising ever since she left the office a few hours before.
"Sydney. It's…"
"Hello. Can I help you?" Her voice was slightly tight and sharp. She sounded hurried, like a doctor's secretary or a teenage sales clerk.
"I…I need to meet with you, Sydney. Tonight…if that's possible." He spoke slowly, carefully as if his tongue wouldn't quite shape the phrase he wanted. When he heard silence at the end of the line, only punctuated by one soft intake of breath and the faint hum of voices in the background, Jack felt his chance slipping away.
"Okay." She sounded almost as surprised as he was.
"The Raller Street Pier in forty-five minutes." The stumble was gone from his voice and Jack was back in control. Back in control and telling himself that the feeling in his stomach wasn't fear.
Forty-five minutes later, he had a harder time convincing himself. Jack had been waiting for five minutes in the darkness. It was a warm evening and the sounds of traffic from the freeway and the crash of the ocean against the pier were the only sounds. His back was to the road but his ears picked up the sound of Sydney's SUV at the same time the reflection of her headlights appeared in the water ahead of him. It was only when he heard her car door slam that he turned towards her.
Neither of them spoke, not when Sydney looked up and caught his eye, not when she took the few steps to stand beside him, not even when she came and rested her arms against the wooden railing he leaned against.
Jack watched as she opened her mouth and closed it again, grasping for the words.
"Do you understand how much this means to me?" Her voice quavered with emotion.
Jack didn't have to ask what she meant. "Of course I do. Of all people, I can understand how much you hate Sloane and Derevko."
"Why didn't you back me when I went to Russia, then? It was the one solid lead we had. You say you understand we need to get Sloane and Derevko, but you don't back it up. Elsa Caplan's intel was good, I knew that. But you let your stupid grudge against Mom…Derevko cloud your judgement. You tell me not to get emotionally attached! You tell me! You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever met. And as much as that is a major problem, it's not even the issue here. You let your feelings screw up my op. We could have got them but you didn't authorize it! And then you have the nerve, the gall, to think you can tell me if I do something like this again, you'll take me off the team. Well, I'm sure as hell not going to let your -whatever they are- stand in the way. You say you want to take them down. Then do your job!" The words flew out of her mouth, harsh and biting and when she spit the final word at Jack, she spun on her heel.
Before she could even take a step forward, Jack had grabbed her arm, pulled her back while he barked out one sharp word. "Stop!"
When she felt his hand grab her, instinct took over and she flipped him off her, hard against the rail. Jack stood there, stunned for a moment but quickly recovered.
"Don't walk away from me, Sydney." His voice was rough.
"That's rich. Don't walk away from you! That's all you've been doing to me for the past 30 years. So, I'm giving you just as much time as you've shown me."
"As much as that appears to be a major problem, it's not the issue here. I called you here to…"
Sydney realized that he was echoing her own words from a minute before and annoyance flooded her. "What, what did you call me here for, Dad?" she spoke the term with scorn.
"I called you here tonight to…talk about what I said today. You are my daughter, but that does not give you free rein at the CIA. You were wrong to act independently in Russia. What I said was true. If you ever do anything like this again, you will be removed from the task force. I am trying to protect you. I know you think I am biased on this issue, but so are you, Sydney. It just happens that with this bias comes knowledge of Derevko and Sloane. If you think I was harsh that's fine, but I am not going to let you get yourself killed." Now that he had started, the words spilled out, almost an apology, as foreign to him as Latin, but as necessary as air.
"I am only trying to do my job and I didn't believe Elsa Caplan could be trusted. Maybe I am erring on the side of caution, MAYBE! But I will not sacrifice the lives of my agents to test that theory."
"Don't think I am going to apologize for disobeying your orders. I would do anything to get them. If you think I'm being reckless, that's your prerogative, but don't expect I will respond to what ever guilt trip you think you can lay on me."
Her eyes still flashed fire and Jack sighed heavily. "This is pointless. Go home, Sydney."
"You think so? Whenever things get difficult, you always walk away. Well, keep doing it Dad. Maybe someday, you'll reach a point where you can't walk anymore."
He turned away and heard her footsteps walk to the car, heard the car door slam and the engine turn over. He listened as his daughter drove away.
He got into his car, a nondescript black sedan that he had driven for the past year and drove away from the pier, not angry, but bitter.
~*End flashback*~
Jack came back to the present sharply as the bitter taste of bile rose in his throat. Since that night two weeks ago, he hadn't talked to Sydney, except during task force meeting. She would look over at him and her eyes would shutter out any emotion.
Irina has always acted like this. When she was angry, she was like ice. She would give the object of her rage cold, black looks. She would never speak unless she had to, not revealing anything. Sydney, on the other hand was like fire when she was angry. Her emotions, her temper, would spill over and she would yell and bluster. In his eyes, Sydney's usual fire was preferable to this icy coldness modelled after her mother. Fire burned out quickly, but ice, it had to be slowly dethawed.
It as then he looked up to see Agent Vaughn at his office doorway. His hand was raised, as if to knock.
"Agent Vaughn." Lowering his fist, Vaughn came into the room.
"Director Bristow." He looked Jack in the eye when he addressed him, challenging the older man.
"Is there something you want?" Jack's voice was brusque, but not unkind, as he looked back unflinchingly.
"Sydney didn't ask me to come, but I thought I should. This fight you're having is hurting her, more than she will admit. She needs you to come to her, and I know you're probably not willing, but I thought…"
Jack cut Vaughn off mid-sentence, "I don't think you need to say anything else. I don't believe this is your business. You are showing nerve to come talk to me, and I respect you for it, but you would be wise to concentrate on your own performance instead of my relationship with my daughter."
"Jack…"
"I think you should leave, Agent Vaughn, before you cross the line between being bold and being insubordinate."
Seeing the look in Jack's eyes, so like the one he had seen in Syd's this morning, Vaughn turned and left the office.
Author's Note: It would mean a lot if anyone who is reading this could review! PLEASE! I would update a a lot quicker, because I know I've been slow. I've tried to do a lot better with this chapter and have some real dialogue, so let me know what you think of. I've had a little change of plans, so the next few chapters will be more Syd/Jack encounters I think, and then there will be a major plot twist! Tasha
