The legend of Zelda Ch.3

Link: This is it! The monster is down there!
Navi: Well then hurry up and use a bomb, faggot!
Link: Okay! (He runs over, sits on the weak ground like it's a toilet,
farts, and then the thing breaks)
Navi: 0__O You are weird my friend, you have problems. (Then they fall
down) Link: Noooooooo!
Navi: Shut up we're suppose to go down here you faggot!
(They land at an angle to where they can only see Dodongo's back)
Link: Omigosh, it's the boss, I have to get an autograph! (He runs over to
Dodongo, but then is whacked away by his tail when he turns around)
Dodongo: Wh-wh-who dare di-di-disturb me? (Link and navi look around his
back to see beer & weed)
Navi: Can I have some? Pleeeaaaaaaase?
Link: ~__O. Hey your not suppose to drink!
Navi: Shut up faggot, that's why nobody likes you!
Link: Well then why did Nintendo hire me?
Navi: They never told you? Link, do you promise not to cry if I tell you
this?
Link: Y-y-y-yes.
Dodongo: This should b-b-be good! (Whispering to himself)
Navi: They hired you because you're the only one they could find that
looked like a ugly-ass keebler elf! ^___^
Link: (Starts to cry) N-n-n-n-n-no they didn't!
Dodongo: Bwa ha ha ha ha! You are sooooo stupid!
Link: S-s-s-s-STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!(Link grabs his sword runs up to
Dodongo and kills him in one hit)
Link: Who's da' bitch noww?(Then he walks over to Navi)
Navi: O________O.Err, um, look a piece of heart!
Link: Omigosh, where?!?
Navi: Over there!( He gets the piece of heart and then they leave. When
they arrive, they see Daruna and all the other Gorons waiting)
Daruna: Link, my otha' brotha' from another mother!
Come give a brotha' a hug!
Link: Naww, dog, I ain't got da' time!
Daruna: Link, here's yo' bling-bling you asked for!
(He gives him the second spiritual stone) I's full o' spirit for a
brotha'!
Link: See ya' latta' dwag!(They're walking through the gate when the guard
slams his stick into links head)
Guard: Die bitch!(Then he stops) Oops, sorry I couldn't control myself.
Didya' get the drugs?
Link: Yea, I swiped some from the boss. So, how much money ya' got?
Guard: I'll give you 500 rubbies!
Link: I can't hold that much, but okay!(They're in the middle of an exchang
when the swat team saw wat he was doing)
Swat team: Hey you, stop!
Link: Holy shit!(They run away)
Swat team member: Damn, I wanted some weed!
At the gates of the Zoras' domain
Navi: Damn it! How do we get past without speaking to that owl?
Link: I know! (He pulls out a shotgun) Lookit! ^___^
Owl: hoot hoot you faggots, time to listen to my pathetic shit! As we begi-
(But Link interrupts him)
Link: DIE STUPID FAGGOT-ASS OWL! (He shoots him)
Owl: Nooooo! x__x(He dies)
Link: Yay! Now how do we get past that rock?
Navi: Use a bomb!
Link: Okay! (He runs up to the rocks, farts, and the rocks explode.)
Navi: Uh, stinky blah! x__x (She faints)
Link: What happened to everybody?
(Link picks up Navi and walks on to the waterfall)
Link: Open sesame! (Nothing happens, and then he reads the stone thing)
Ohhh! I'm supposed to play the royal melody!
(Irish music starts playing and Link starts tap dancing)
This is so embarrassing! (Then the path opens)
Navi: Hey, Link nice tap dancing! Bwa ha ha ha ah!
(Link gives her the bad finger)
Inside Zoras' domain
Navi: we have to play that game up there so we can get the scale! (They
head up to the game, but there's just a stripper there stripping for some
guy)
Link: Uh, we're here to play the game.
Stripper: I can play lots of games.(Link blushes and then Navi slaps him)
Navi: Not the place we're looking for, bye! (They leave)
Link: Great Einstein, now what are we suppose to do?
Navi: We'll wait until happy hour is over, then we'll get the scale thing!
Link: I'm going in! (But Navi slaps him and holds him down)
Navi: No you aren't!
Link: Security!
Navi: Have fun! (Link goes in, but happy hour is already over)
Link: Damn it! Now we have to play the dive game!
Zora: Now I'm going to throw these rubbies in the water and you get them,
okay!
Link: Whatever! (Then she throws them in the water and Link dives in after
them) Got one! That's three! (He gets all of them) Yes!
Zora: Yay, good job, now come up here and get your present! (Link goes up
there to get his stuff)
Zora: Here's an item to help you breathe!
(She gives him a paper bag)
Link: How the hell am I suppose to use this?
Zora: I don't know! (She leaves)
Navi: Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha! You stupid faggot! You've got no use for that
bag! (Link gets an evil smile on his face) Don't look at me that way. (Then
he traps Navi in the bag)
Link: Who's da' bitch nowww?
(Link dives down using the bag to breathe his own breath)
Link: I must have had fish today because my breath stinks!
(After he gets the letter they head on to the fat-ass king who was drinking
beer)
Drunken king: Hello, what your name?
Link: Uh. Whatever. I found a letter that you might want to read.
Dk: I not know how read. Would you wike some beer?
Link: No. Can you move so we can save your daughter?
Dk: I no have daughter. What you talk about?
Link: Move fat-ass!
Dk: Dat not nice! (Then Link pulls out a shotgun) Ooh pretty, can I pway
with it?
Link: No, now move faggot!
Dk: Okwayy.(He moves and Link puts the shotgun away)
Link: finally! Lets hurry!
The end. For now!