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Blood IS Thicker Than Water, Right?
There has been one question that has been plaguing me for some time now. If the vampires are burned and/or killed by water, then why is it they survive on blood that is made up of something like 90% water? I decided to trace my question to its source.
(Enter Nosgoth)
I decided I would pay Kain and the Lieutenants a visit at the Sanctuary of the Clans, and ask them if they knew the answer to my question.
ZEPHON: Human wench! How dare you show yourself here!
MIKOTO: Can it, Zephon! Or else I shall be forced to use this! (Wields fly swatter. Zephon backs away.)
KAIN: (Trying hard not to show his displeasure at my arrival.) Mikoto! What a.pleasant surprise. What brings you to these parts today?
MIKOTO: Oh, I just have a little favor to ask of you.
KAIN: (Gulps.) What is it *this* time?
MIKOTO: Why do you guys drink blood? It's made of water, which burns you upon contact. So, since it's made of water, how do you survive on it rather than die from it?
(The lieutenants look questioningly at Kain, awaiting an answer. The master vampire sweats under the pressure.)
KAIN: That's nonsense! I'll prove it to you now! (He grabs a nearby slave.) Here, Dumah! Drink!
DUMAH: Okay! (Accepts Kain's gift and begins to feast hungrily on the poor guy.)
KAIN: See? No problem!
DUMAH: AAHHHH!! IT BURNS!!!!
(Dumah drops his meal, fanning the flames roiling from his mouth. He is too stupid to spit the blood out, which would end his torment. He runs around screaming in pain and choking on the blood in his mouth. He blindly runs into a wall and falls to the ground unconscious.)
RAHAB: (Chuckling at his older brother.) He screams like a girl.
(The flames continue to lick at Dumah's face until they spread to his brain. His head explodes with a loud bang.)
MELCHIAH: How the hell did that happen?
RAZIEL: (While giving Turel a high five.er, three.) That was awesome!
TUREL: Yeah! If we get a new brother, we'll have to force him to sniff gunpowder too!
(Zephon picks his nose, wondering if his oldest brothers did the same to him.)
MIKOTO: Well? You still haven't answered my question! You've only managed to prove my theory!
KAIN: (Fidgeting) Well, I. Uh. That is. Get her! Throw her in the dungeon!
MIKOTO: Hey! Wait a minute!
Well, Raziel and Turel captured me and took me away. I was an idiot and didn't try to fight. I was rendered stupid due to Raziel's nearness to me. Turel, I could care less for. They tossed me into a prison cell like a sack of potatoes. I decided to make myself at home. The last time I had been thrown down here, I didn't get out for three days. I immediately introduced myself to my new cellmate.
MIKOTO: Hi! I'm Mikoto! Been here long?
SKELETON ON FLOOR: .
MIKOTO: Didn't think so. So what's your name?
SKELETON ON FLOOR: .
MIKOTO: Oh, you're trying to sleep. Well, until you wake up, I'll just call you Clyde. So Clyde, how long you in for?
CLYDE: .
MIKOTO: That sucks. I don't know how long I'll be in this time. Hey, since you're using the floor, you don't mind if I take the bed, do ya?
CLYDE: .
MIKOTO: (Leaps onto dusty bed.) Cool! You're the best!
Blood IS Thicker Than Water, Right?
There has been one question that has been plaguing me for some time now. If the vampires are burned and/or killed by water, then why is it they survive on blood that is made up of something like 90% water? I decided to trace my question to its source.
(Enter Nosgoth)
I decided I would pay Kain and the Lieutenants a visit at the Sanctuary of the Clans, and ask them if they knew the answer to my question.
ZEPHON: Human wench! How dare you show yourself here!
MIKOTO: Can it, Zephon! Or else I shall be forced to use this! (Wields fly swatter. Zephon backs away.)
KAIN: (Trying hard not to show his displeasure at my arrival.) Mikoto! What a.pleasant surprise. What brings you to these parts today?
MIKOTO: Oh, I just have a little favor to ask of you.
KAIN: (Gulps.) What is it *this* time?
MIKOTO: Why do you guys drink blood? It's made of water, which burns you upon contact. So, since it's made of water, how do you survive on it rather than die from it?
(The lieutenants look questioningly at Kain, awaiting an answer. The master vampire sweats under the pressure.)
KAIN: That's nonsense! I'll prove it to you now! (He grabs a nearby slave.) Here, Dumah! Drink!
DUMAH: Okay! (Accepts Kain's gift and begins to feast hungrily on the poor guy.)
KAIN: See? No problem!
DUMAH: AAHHHH!! IT BURNS!!!!
(Dumah drops his meal, fanning the flames roiling from his mouth. He is too stupid to spit the blood out, which would end his torment. He runs around screaming in pain and choking on the blood in his mouth. He blindly runs into a wall and falls to the ground unconscious.)
RAHAB: (Chuckling at his older brother.) He screams like a girl.
(The flames continue to lick at Dumah's face until they spread to his brain. His head explodes with a loud bang.)
MELCHIAH: How the hell did that happen?
RAZIEL: (While giving Turel a high five.er, three.) That was awesome!
TUREL: Yeah! If we get a new brother, we'll have to force him to sniff gunpowder too!
(Zephon picks his nose, wondering if his oldest brothers did the same to him.)
MIKOTO: Well? You still haven't answered my question! You've only managed to prove my theory!
KAIN: (Fidgeting) Well, I. Uh. That is. Get her! Throw her in the dungeon!
MIKOTO: Hey! Wait a minute!
Well, Raziel and Turel captured me and took me away. I was an idiot and didn't try to fight. I was rendered stupid due to Raziel's nearness to me. Turel, I could care less for. They tossed me into a prison cell like a sack of potatoes. I decided to make myself at home. The last time I had been thrown down here, I didn't get out for three days. I immediately introduced myself to my new cellmate.
MIKOTO: Hi! I'm Mikoto! Been here long?
SKELETON ON FLOOR: .
MIKOTO: Didn't think so. So what's your name?
SKELETON ON FLOOR: .
MIKOTO: Oh, you're trying to sleep. Well, until you wake up, I'll just call you Clyde. So Clyde, how long you in for?
CLYDE: .
MIKOTO: That sucks. I don't know how long I'll be in this time. Hey, since you're using the floor, you don't mind if I take the bed, do ya?
CLYDE: .
MIKOTO: (Leaps onto dusty bed.) Cool! You're the best!
