Ollen70: You know the drill by now. I don't own Chrono Trigger, or any of the characters contained therein. And just to give fair warning, this section is rated more toward PG-13 than the chapters before it.
If you can't tell on your own, this is where writing this story got a little more difficult. I'd very much appreciate reviews and outside remarks, because I'm not really happy with the way this chapter turned out. If you think you can help me improve it, (If that's even a relative possibility,) then let me know. I'm definitely open to suggestion.
This chapter is stranger than the others before it. I go outside the scope of the game a bit to create the relationship between Lucca and Magus, but not much. Just thought I'd give a 'heads up.'
Chapter Three -- The Bearer
No words. Not one, since he had returned late that night. Ayla had smiled at him as he entered the inn, and he watched her gnaw on a leg of lamb that had been intended as dinner for all of the guests at the inn. He came close to smirking at the sight of her, gravy smeared all over her hands, happily chewing away. Never in eternity would he admit it to anyone, but he liked the prehistoric chief in spite of himself. All those years ago in his childhood, he remembered when Crono, Glenn, and Ayla had come to Enhasa. Ayla's exact words toward him were hazy. She had said something odd about his dear pet, Alfador, then spoke again after he had steeled himself to predict what would happen to one of her party. Again, the words weren't totally clear in his memory. He remembered only that they were kind, as was nearly everything she did.
From the others, there was no such response. He supposed there might have been, had he stayed downstairs to sup with them. Instead, he was more content to climb the stairs to his room and curl up, facing away from anyone who might come to him. Not that he was expecting anyone to. For all Glenn's orations that Lucca wanted to find him, she hadn't even looked his way when he was near her, waiting for the bartender to bring him a cider and some bread. Something deep inside of him wanted her to speak to him, not just look away, as if there was some disappointing air about him that she couldn't stand to face.
'Just like her, so damned self-righteous. What else should I have expected?' Assuming this was still about what he had told her the night before, he lay with eyes half-lidded, staring sightlessly at the wall. 'Should I...apologi...what am I thinking?!' He raged mentally. "Since when did Magus of Zeal apologize to anyone?' And that was that. Of the many things Magus was proud to be noted for, his resolve was definitely one of them.
Why did every evening have to end the same way? Lucca prodded the wedge of cheese before her, having no intention of biting into it any time soon. An oily stain spread out beneath it, displaying just how long it had been sitting patiently on the counter. Beside it was her mug of cider. By now it was warm, no longer fizzing pleasantly when she tapped the mug's rim.
Her thoughts turned once again to the sight of Magus on the bridge. Glenn had advised to her keep her distance.
"Give him time, dear one." He had told her. "The dark one has much to struggle against."
'So who doesn't?' Just because she didn't believe she could approach him, she was more than content to watch him from a distance, hoping he might notice her, knowing even to herself how foolish he would think that hope to be, if he'd heard it. It didn't matter. When she saw him, something changed. The steel gray of the sky and the throbbing within her weren't as prominent as they had been, only moments before. His lonely vigil on the bridge was an endearing reminder of the things he strove for, of the things he would seek, and never find.
'I'm plain to him. Boring, unattractive, boyish.' It didn't matter if he'd directly said any of those things, which he hadn't. All her life she heard them from one boy or another, never given the chance to get closer because of how she appeared. Tonight, however, things might be different.
Magus lay, doing his best not to be interrupted by thought. He found that through his weariness, he had stumbled into a plane where nothing mattered, neither reality or dream. In this state between sleep and reality, he was content to remain for as long as possible, neither denying nor confirming anything. Here there were no expectations, no promises, no failures. Here, all time for once had left him alone, free to simply exist for as long as he could, numb with cold and heartache.
When the door to the room startled him out of his reverie with its mind-rending creak, he sat up at once, determined to swear out whoever had disturbed him to the absolute best of his ability.
"Magus?" Thunderstruck, he could only stare dimly at the creature in the doorway. She had Lucca's voice, but that was all.
The stunned mage lying before her, Lucca strode confidently into the room. At least, she projected an air of confidence to the best of her ability. In reality, the long skirt she'd dawned was all that kept the world from knowing how hard her knees shook. Marle, now that she had returned to the inn, had done an excellent job when she heard Lucca's request. At first, the princess had expressed some doubt.
"Are you insane?!" She'd cried. "All the people in the world and it's Magus you fall for? What on earth has gotten into you?" In spite of the outburst, which carried on for as long as Lucca was within earshot, Marle seemed happy enough as she french-braided Lucca's hair, longer now than anyone might have guessed. Released from her hat, it stretched down easily to the middle of her back.
Watching Lucca step into the light of the room, Magus still hadn't found his voice. Wearing Oranges and yellows that immediately reminded him of the women in Zeal, she shone in the glow of the candles. A faint aura of jasmine and rose exuded from her as she drew closer, standing beside the bed but not sitting.
"W-what..?" Was all he could think of to say, ashamed that he should be blathering like an idiot at a time when eloquence would be much better received.
"What have you done to yourself?" he asked at last. Lucca had always been pretty in his eyes, but never quite so feminine. Her beauty came from somewhere else. Unlike Marle, she didn't wear the kind of things one generally associated with a pretty girl, but he was shocked at how a thin girl could become slender, supple, and firm with so little effort.
Lucca of course didn't know of the thoughts that accompanied his remark, only hearing his words. A shadow crossed her face, but before she could retreat, he turned.
"I...I apologize.." So halting was his voice that she wondered if he'd ever said those words before. "I..you astonished me, is all."
Though he couldn't see her smile, Magus felt it. A very light touch landed on his shoulder, perching like a butterfly in its faintness, and he was afraid to move lest he frighten it away. When he spoke, it was with a tincture of regret.
"Be careful. I've ruined a great many lives. Come too near and I cannot promise yours will not be one of them." 'Much as I'd like to..'
"Haven't you figured it out by now?" She smiled at his perplexed, somewhat indignant features. "If I'd wanted guarantees, I'd be at home right now, doing my best to convince myself that none of this had ever happened. I don't need reassurance. I don't need someone to tell me that everything'll be alright. I know as well as you do that they probably won't be. But in a way, that's fine."
"You want a real man who can dedicate his life to you. I can't..."
"Don't tell me what I want." She sat down, sliding close to him as a tear dropped from his eye. That in itself surprised her. He wasn't whimpering. If not for the tear, she wouldn't have known he was crying.
"Part of me belongs to someone else. I can't let go of Schala, no matter how hard I try." He dried the tears with the back of his hand like a child, obviously ashamed.
"She matters to you very much. That's understandable. Crono was like a brother to me, so in some small way, I can relate to you, if you can believe that. The question is, do you want that to be all you have in life? What if we never find either of them? Do we pine our lives away? Or do we just stop looking? If that happens, the pain won't ever leave."
"Maybe," he said tentatively, after an impossibly long silence," we can keep looking. Maybe clinging to what you love is not weakness after all."
Moving toward him oh so slowly, she took his hand and brought it close to her. "And maybe we don't have to stop living to do it. Schala won't hate you, you know, if you find you can love someone else. It doesn't mean that you don't care for her just as much."
In one movement, she kissed him softly. It was not a passionate kiss, nor was it particularly probing and deep. Both waited, expecting the other to pull away. When neither made any move to do so, they moved against each other just a bit, Lucca steeling herself to put her arms around the mage, nearly trembling with relief as he followed suit.
When he finally broke away, she felt her heart pound as he smiled brightly, the first pure smile she'd ever seen on his face. "I know that now."
Lucca opened her eyes slowly. She couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour or two, after the weariness had overwhelmed them both and they had been forced to part for the sake of sleep. That troubled her, mainly because, in all likelihood, Magus would pretend nothing had happened, and everything she had gained would vanish again. Such was life. With a sad sigh, she nestled under the warm object wrapped around her, coming to her senses in one moment. It was Magus's arm. Letting a smile curve her lips, she touched it tenderly and possessively, letting the emptiness of sleep spiral down on her once again.
It was perhaps an hour later, if even that, when she awoke once again, reaching for her glasses in the dim light. Something had jolted her out of her sleep moments before, and now as she became more fully conscious, she realized what it was. Magus was gone. Slipping a frantic hand under the mattress, she realized that the gate key was no longer in its hiding place. Dressing herself in record time, she was still struggling into her boots as she burst out of the door to the inn, not worrying how many other guests she must have disturbed in her haste.
The night was thick about her, like the snow around her feet. Instead of falling shrouds of white, the clouds had broken, leaving a mist like a silver veil over the ground. Through this Lucca tore ahead viciously, damning her poor vision as the glasses fogged due to her own breath. Truce canyon lay ahead, silent in the night, prompting Lucca to increase her speed. She ran until her sides ached, her legs threatening to give way. Past frozen cascades and up the rock faces she scrambled, one thought in her mind. Magus had the gate key. What he planned to do with it she didn't know, nor did she care. Given the context of their conversation last night, she was willing to bet that the outcome would not be happy if she weren't able to dissuade him. With a final rush of strength, Lucca scaled the small cliff before her and made for the snowbound clearing, where the gate waited.
'In one moment...' Magus thought dreamily,' everything will change. Every mistake in my life will be amended, or else I will merely die. At any rate, I will end the pain.' Or some of the pain, at least. The sleeping face of Lucca came to his mind, so peaceful, so calm, so...beautiful. In her own way, she was.
'What am I become?' The scorn was clear, even in his own mind. There were bigger things at stake besides a fleeting moment of weakness. If eternal separation from one girl was the consequence for saving his sister, the soul of his mother, and even that fool Crono, why should he be loath to go ahead...?
He should have stepped into the gate. There was no reason for him to delay, but his legs were no longer under his control. He stayed stock still, watching the glittering key in his hand with a mixture of wonder and horror. 'God have mercy on me..'
Before he could make any forward movement, a loud rustling and a strangled cry erupted from the branches around him. Struck from behind by a heavy object, he sprawled helplessly onto the frozen turf. Blindly he lashed out with his magic, decimating a nearby tree with a forked branch of lightning.
'A disgruntled mystic,' he thought suddenly, glad his scythe was still beside him, easily within reach. Whirling from the ground with all the speed he could muster, he readied the blade for one quick swing, and froze.
"What's WRONG with you?!" Lucca cried, slapping him in the face with more force than he would have expected from her. Under normal circumstances, he might have just struck her in return. Instead, he was caught and fixed by the hurt, fear, anger, and sorrow that filled her eyes. If it was ever the time to turn and run, he assured himself that now was probably it. He still had the gate key. If he could make it through without her following, his plan might still carry through.
"Why on Earth do you put me through this?!"
"What have I 'put you through?'" He asked, hoping to sound haughty but only managing to be vaguely sheepish. He knew what she meant, and once again it saddened him to see her. Still, his purpose was greater than these feelings, regardless of how strong they were. Magus braced himself for another outburst, but none came. Lucca just stood there, shrugging slightly.
"If you didn't ever really care..."
"You don't understand." He started hurriedly, crimson eyes locked obstinately on his bark and soot covered boots.
"Well, you haven't been much help in that area." Her tone was waspish. Even without looking, he could tell she wore a trenchant expression. "I'm not a mind reader, after all."
"Then listen, for once!" Didn't she understand that it was hard enough for him to vocalize this without her deriding him at every turn? Finally daring an upward glance, he saw her shock and began to feel ashamed. Rather than let it show, he let his plan flow from his mouth, for once not caring if it was eloquently worded or mixed with the right amount of bitterness.
"You were going to do WHAT?"
"Are you always this daft?" He asked sharply, annoyed in spite of himself. "Once I reached 65,000,000 B.C., I will cast the summoning spell again, and call Lavos to the surface. When he comes, I had planned to use this," here he held up the gate key, "once Belthasar and Gasper, if I find him, help me modify it, I might be able to turn Lavos's gates back on him. If I can destroy him that far in the past, this future will no longer exist." 'And Schala and Crono will be alive,' he added silently.
Eyes wide, Lucca only stared for a long while.
"You were going to destroy yourself for us?"
"Not 'destroy,' really. If Lavos is gone, then our futures will change, as I said. None of us will ever meet." 'I will never enchant Glenn, kill Cyrus, wage war on the humans here, or meet you, Lucca.'
"You can't do that." Her hand took the gate key from his gently, tucking it back in her pocket. He supposed he should have fought her for it, but couldn't quite bring himself to.
'I could kill her.' He thought plaintively. 'If this works, she would be born again and live her life without the agony Lavos has brought her.'
"Think for a moment, Janus." Like a snowflake falling gently, her hand floated toward his face as if it were one of many potential and equally opportune destinations. "What if it were to go wrong? Man was never meant to manipulate time the way we have. To fold Lavos within his own gate...It could destroy the world." Her voice was softer now, more caring than he would have thought possible. From her eyes he could tell that she was equally taken aback, but matters of dignity, at least between the two of them, were of less importance moment by moment. " I know why you meant to do it. Just because you can't, it doesn't make the thought any less important."
"Yes it does." He replied, inclement as usual.
"Think that if you want.."
"If you tell them any of this," he waved in the general direction of the inn, "I'll deny it. And then..."
"Don't worry. I'm not cruel." With that she leaned in and stole a quick kiss, smiling at the look of absolute shock he gave her, eyes impossibly wide. As a thin, initially unnoticeable smile grew, she leaned into him again.
Standing there near Magus, waiting for his hesitant yet inevitable embrace, she let herself consider exactly what was taking place. All that she'd learned came immediately to the front of her mind, assuring her that whatever his full intentions had been, forgetting her had never been one of them. Since they were alone, she took another risk and pulled him close, the two of them heading slowly back down the slopes toward the village where the odd candle still burned.
If you can't tell on your own, this is where writing this story got a little more difficult. I'd very much appreciate reviews and outside remarks, because I'm not really happy with the way this chapter turned out. If you think you can help me improve it, (If that's even a relative possibility,) then let me know. I'm definitely open to suggestion.
This chapter is stranger than the others before it. I go outside the scope of the game a bit to create the relationship between Lucca and Magus, but not much. Just thought I'd give a 'heads up.'
Chapter Three -- The Bearer
No words. Not one, since he had returned late that night. Ayla had smiled at him as he entered the inn, and he watched her gnaw on a leg of lamb that had been intended as dinner for all of the guests at the inn. He came close to smirking at the sight of her, gravy smeared all over her hands, happily chewing away. Never in eternity would he admit it to anyone, but he liked the prehistoric chief in spite of himself. All those years ago in his childhood, he remembered when Crono, Glenn, and Ayla had come to Enhasa. Ayla's exact words toward him were hazy. She had said something odd about his dear pet, Alfador, then spoke again after he had steeled himself to predict what would happen to one of her party. Again, the words weren't totally clear in his memory. He remembered only that they were kind, as was nearly everything she did.
From the others, there was no such response. He supposed there might have been, had he stayed downstairs to sup with them. Instead, he was more content to climb the stairs to his room and curl up, facing away from anyone who might come to him. Not that he was expecting anyone to. For all Glenn's orations that Lucca wanted to find him, she hadn't even looked his way when he was near her, waiting for the bartender to bring him a cider and some bread. Something deep inside of him wanted her to speak to him, not just look away, as if there was some disappointing air about him that she couldn't stand to face.
'Just like her, so damned self-righteous. What else should I have expected?' Assuming this was still about what he had told her the night before, he lay with eyes half-lidded, staring sightlessly at the wall. 'Should I...apologi...what am I thinking?!' He raged mentally. "Since when did Magus of Zeal apologize to anyone?' And that was that. Of the many things Magus was proud to be noted for, his resolve was definitely one of them.
Why did every evening have to end the same way? Lucca prodded the wedge of cheese before her, having no intention of biting into it any time soon. An oily stain spread out beneath it, displaying just how long it had been sitting patiently on the counter. Beside it was her mug of cider. By now it was warm, no longer fizzing pleasantly when she tapped the mug's rim.
Her thoughts turned once again to the sight of Magus on the bridge. Glenn had advised to her keep her distance.
"Give him time, dear one." He had told her. "The dark one has much to struggle against."
'So who doesn't?' Just because she didn't believe she could approach him, she was more than content to watch him from a distance, hoping he might notice her, knowing even to herself how foolish he would think that hope to be, if he'd heard it. It didn't matter. When she saw him, something changed. The steel gray of the sky and the throbbing within her weren't as prominent as they had been, only moments before. His lonely vigil on the bridge was an endearing reminder of the things he strove for, of the things he would seek, and never find.
'I'm plain to him. Boring, unattractive, boyish.' It didn't matter if he'd directly said any of those things, which he hadn't. All her life she heard them from one boy or another, never given the chance to get closer because of how she appeared. Tonight, however, things might be different.
Magus lay, doing his best not to be interrupted by thought. He found that through his weariness, he had stumbled into a plane where nothing mattered, neither reality or dream. In this state between sleep and reality, he was content to remain for as long as possible, neither denying nor confirming anything. Here there were no expectations, no promises, no failures. Here, all time for once had left him alone, free to simply exist for as long as he could, numb with cold and heartache.
When the door to the room startled him out of his reverie with its mind-rending creak, he sat up at once, determined to swear out whoever had disturbed him to the absolute best of his ability.
"Magus?" Thunderstruck, he could only stare dimly at the creature in the doorway. She had Lucca's voice, but that was all.
The stunned mage lying before her, Lucca strode confidently into the room. At least, she projected an air of confidence to the best of her ability. In reality, the long skirt she'd dawned was all that kept the world from knowing how hard her knees shook. Marle, now that she had returned to the inn, had done an excellent job when she heard Lucca's request. At first, the princess had expressed some doubt.
"Are you insane?!" She'd cried. "All the people in the world and it's Magus you fall for? What on earth has gotten into you?" In spite of the outburst, which carried on for as long as Lucca was within earshot, Marle seemed happy enough as she french-braided Lucca's hair, longer now than anyone might have guessed. Released from her hat, it stretched down easily to the middle of her back.
Watching Lucca step into the light of the room, Magus still hadn't found his voice. Wearing Oranges and yellows that immediately reminded him of the women in Zeal, she shone in the glow of the candles. A faint aura of jasmine and rose exuded from her as she drew closer, standing beside the bed but not sitting.
"W-what..?" Was all he could think of to say, ashamed that he should be blathering like an idiot at a time when eloquence would be much better received.
"What have you done to yourself?" he asked at last. Lucca had always been pretty in his eyes, but never quite so feminine. Her beauty came from somewhere else. Unlike Marle, she didn't wear the kind of things one generally associated with a pretty girl, but he was shocked at how a thin girl could become slender, supple, and firm with so little effort.
Lucca of course didn't know of the thoughts that accompanied his remark, only hearing his words. A shadow crossed her face, but before she could retreat, he turned.
"I...I apologize.." So halting was his voice that she wondered if he'd ever said those words before. "I..you astonished me, is all."
Though he couldn't see her smile, Magus felt it. A very light touch landed on his shoulder, perching like a butterfly in its faintness, and he was afraid to move lest he frighten it away. When he spoke, it was with a tincture of regret.
"Be careful. I've ruined a great many lives. Come too near and I cannot promise yours will not be one of them." 'Much as I'd like to..'
"Haven't you figured it out by now?" She smiled at his perplexed, somewhat indignant features. "If I'd wanted guarantees, I'd be at home right now, doing my best to convince myself that none of this had ever happened. I don't need reassurance. I don't need someone to tell me that everything'll be alright. I know as well as you do that they probably won't be. But in a way, that's fine."
"You want a real man who can dedicate his life to you. I can't..."
"Don't tell me what I want." She sat down, sliding close to him as a tear dropped from his eye. That in itself surprised her. He wasn't whimpering. If not for the tear, she wouldn't have known he was crying.
"Part of me belongs to someone else. I can't let go of Schala, no matter how hard I try." He dried the tears with the back of his hand like a child, obviously ashamed.
"She matters to you very much. That's understandable. Crono was like a brother to me, so in some small way, I can relate to you, if you can believe that. The question is, do you want that to be all you have in life? What if we never find either of them? Do we pine our lives away? Or do we just stop looking? If that happens, the pain won't ever leave."
"Maybe," he said tentatively, after an impossibly long silence," we can keep looking. Maybe clinging to what you love is not weakness after all."
Moving toward him oh so slowly, she took his hand and brought it close to her. "And maybe we don't have to stop living to do it. Schala won't hate you, you know, if you find you can love someone else. It doesn't mean that you don't care for her just as much."
In one movement, she kissed him softly. It was not a passionate kiss, nor was it particularly probing and deep. Both waited, expecting the other to pull away. When neither made any move to do so, they moved against each other just a bit, Lucca steeling herself to put her arms around the mage, nearly trembling with relief as he followed suit.
When he finally broke away, she felt her heart pound as he smiled brightly, the first pure smile she'd ever seen on his face. "I know that now."
Lucca opened her eyes slowly. She couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour or two, after the weariness had overwhelmed them both and they had been forced to part for the sake of sleep. That troubled her, mainly because, in all likelihood, Magus would pretend nothing had happened, and everything she had gained would vanish again. Such was life. With a sad sigh, she nestled under the warm object wrapped around her, coming to her senses in one moment. It was Magus's arm. Letting a smile curve her lips, she touched it tenderly and possessively, letting the emptiness of sleep spiral down on her once again.
It was perhaps an hour later, if even that, when she awoke once again, reaching for her glasses in the dim light. Something had jolted her out of her sleep moments before, and now as she became more fully conscious, she realized what it was. Magus was gone. Slipping a frantic hand under the mattress, she realized that the gate key was no longer in its hiding place. Dressing herself in record time, she was still struggling into her boots as she burst out of the door to the inn, not worrying how many other guests she must have disturbed in her haste.
The night was thick about her, like the snow around her feet. Instead of falling shrouds of white, the clouds had broken, leaving a mist like a silver veil over the ground. Through this Lucca tore ahead viciously, damning her poor vision as the glasses fogged due to her own breath. Truce canyon lay ahead, silent in the night, prompting Lucca to increase her speed. She ran until her sides ached, her legs threatening to give way. Past frozen cascades and up the rock faces she scrambled, one thought in her mind. Magus had the gate key. What he planned to do with it she didn't know, nor did she care. Given the context of their conversation last night, she was willing to bet that the outcome would not be happy if she weren't able to dissuade him. With a final rush of strength, Lucca scaled the small cliff before her and made for the snowbound clearing, where the gate waited.
'In one moment...' Magus thought dreamily,' everything will change. Every mistake in my life will be amended, or else I will merely die. At any rate, I will end the pain.' Or some of the pain, at least. The sleeping face of Lucca came to his mind, so peaceful, so calm, so...beautiful. In her own way, she was.
'What am I become?' The scorn was clear, even in his own mind. There were bigger things at stake besides a fleeting moment of weakness. If eternal separation from one girl was the consequence for saving his sister, the soul of his mother, and even that fool Crono, why should he be loath to go ahead...?
He should have stepped into the gate. There was no reason for him to delay, but his legs were no longer under his control. He stayed stock still, watching the glittering key in his hand with a mixture of wonder and horror. 'God have mercy on me..'
Before he could make any forward movement, a loud rustling and a strangled cry erupted from the branches around him. Struck from behind by a heavy object, he sprawled helplessly onto the frozen turf. Blindly he lashed out with his magic, decimating a nearby tree with a forked branch of lightning.
'A disgruntled mystic,' he thought suddenly, glad his scythe was still beside him, easily within reach. Whirling from the ground with all the speed he could muster, he readied the blade for one quick swing, and froze.
"What's WRONG with you?!" Lucca cried, slapping him in the face with more force than he would have expected from her. Under normal circumstances, he might have just struck her in return. Instead, he was caught and fixed by the hurt, fear, anger, and sorrow that filled her eyes. If it was ever the time to turn and run, he assured himself that now was probably it. He still had the gate key. If he could make it through without her following, his plan might still carry through.
"Why on Earth do you put me through this?!"
"What have I 'put you through?'" He asked, hoping to sound haughty but only managing to be vaguely sheepish. He knew what she meant, and once again it saddened him to see her. Still, his purpose was greater than these feelings, regardless of how strong they were. Magus braced himself for another outburst, but none came. Lucca just stood there, shrugging slightly.
"If you didn't ever really care..."
"You don't understand." He started hurriedly, crimson eyes locked obstinately on his bark and soot covered boots.
"Well, you haven't been much help in that area." Her tone was waspish. Even without looking, he could tell she wore a trenchant expression. "I'm not a mind reader, after all."
"Then listen, for once!" Didn't she understand that it was hard enough for him to vocalize this without her deriding him at every turn? Finally daring an upward glance, he saw her shock and began to feel ashamed. Rather than let it show, he let his plan flow from his mouth, for once not caring if it was eloquently worded or mixed with the right amount of bitterness.
"You were going to do WHAT?"
"Are you always this daft?" He asked sharply, annoyed in spite of himself. "Once I reached 65,000,000 B.C., I will cast the summoning spell again, and call Lavos to the surface. When he comes, I had planned to use this," here he held up the gate key, "once Belthasar and Gasper, if I find him, help me modify it, I might be able to turn Lavos's gates back on him. If I can destroy him that far in the past, this future will no longer exist." 'And Schala and Crono will be alive,' he added silently.
Eyes wide, Lucca only stared for a long while.
"You were going to destroy yourself for us?"
"Not 'destroy,' really. If Lavos is gone, then our futures will change, as I said. None of us will ever meet." 'I will never enchant Glenn, kill Cyrus, wage war on the humans here, or meet you, Lucca.'
"You can't do that." Her hand took the gate key from his gently, tucking it back in her pocket. He supposed he should have fought her for it, but couldn't quite bring himself to.
'I could kill her.' He thought plaintively. 'If this works, she would be born again and live her life without the agony Lavos has brought her.'
"Think for a moment, Janus." Like a snowflake falling gently, her hand floated toward his face as if it were one of many potential and equally opportune destinations. "What if it were to go wrong? Man was never meant to manipulate time the way we have. To fold Lavos within his own gate...It could destroy the world." Her voice was softer now, more caring than he would have thought possible. From her eyes he could tell that she was equally taken aback, but matters of dignity, at least between the two of them, were of less importance moment by moment. " I know why you meant to do it. Just because you can't, it doesn't make the thought any less important."
"Yes it does." He replied, inclement as usual.
"Think that if you want.."
"If you tell them any of this," he waved in the general direction of the inn, "I'll deny it. And then..."
"Don't worry. I'm not cruel." With that she leaned in and stole a quick kiss, smiling at the look of absolute shock he gave her, eyes impossibly wide. As a thin, initially unnoticeable smile grew, she leaned into him again.
Standing there near Magus, waiting for his hesitant yet inevitable embrace, she let herself consider exactly what was taking place. All that she'd learned came immediately to the front of her mind, assuring her that whatever his full intentions had been, forgetting her had never been one of them. Since they were alone, she took another risk and pulled him close, the two of them heading slowly back down the slopes toward the village where the odd candle still burned.
