Disclaimer: You have, two, new messages. New message, Monday, June, 23rd, 10:57 a.m. "Yes. Hi. I'm calling on behalf of Crystal Dynamics. It seems as though you have been infringing on the copyrights of some of our characters. If you would please give us a call back to straighten this matter out, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks."

New message, Thursday, June, 26th, 3:42 p.m. "Hello. This is Crystal Dynamics. We received your package in the mail. It seems the stick and empty box of matches is not enough to compensate for the monetary damages you are being held liable for. We would really appreciate hearing from you as soon as possible. Thank you." End of messages.

Mikoto: Those fools! They shall never find me! Muahahahahaha! (I close myself inside a cardboard box labeled 'Mikoto is far, far away from here!')

Donating Blood is Cool!

MIKOTO: And did you know that in my world, people actually GIVE their blood away to other people? They just GIVE it way! For free!

ZEPHON: Will you stop tormenting us, woman? We don't care to hear any more of your farfetched tales!

MIKOTO: (ignoring Zephon) And it's really cool to watch when they take your blood. The little pouch just fills and fills and it's really weird that it's a whole pint of your very own blood in that little bag!

ZEPHON: Gah! You're driving me insane! (runs through the wall in a psychotic fit, leaving a Zephon-shaped hole in the wall)

KAIN: Idiot. Oh well. I needed a new door somewhere.

MIKOTO: And if the nurse isn't looking, you stand up really fast and you get all dizzy and stuff and you fall over. Then you get juice and cookies.

MELCHIAH: (finally done with his 'Silence of the Lambs' impression, thank god) I want juice and cookies!

TUREL: You have to go donate blood first, dummy.

MELCHIAH: (sadly) Well, okay, I guess. If I gotta.

RAZIEL: (wielding a long, sharp sword) Find me a vein Turel.

MELCHIAH: (with big, worried eyes) Is this gonna hurt?

TUREL: (grabbing Melchiah's arm forcefully) Of course not! (while searching Mel's skinless arm) Hey! Where's the vein?

RAZIEL: Who cares! I wanna stab something!

MIKOTO: Um, guys. That's not how you donate-

MELCHIAH: YYEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!

RAZIEL: Aw, pipe down! You're arm will grow back!

TUREL: Hey! Check it out! I got Melchiah's arm! (hits Mel with his detatched arm) Hey Melchiah, quit hitting yourself! (hits him again)

MELCHIAH: Quit it! Give it back!

TUREL: (holds the arm over Mel's head) Oh. You want it back? Here ya go. (Mel reaches for his arm. Turel pulls it away) Oops! Too late! Wanna try again? (Mel tries again, misses) Oh! Too slow!

KAIN: Turel! That's no way to treat your brother! Now give me his arm!

TUREL: (disappointed) Awww. (hands Mel's arm over to Kain)

KAIN: (offers arm to Mel) Here you go Melchiah. (Mel approaches Kain to retrieve his arm, but at the last second Kain pulls it away)

MELCHIAH: I though you were gonna give me my arm back!

KAIN: No. I just wanted to have a turn! This is really fun!

I couldn't stand to watch Melchiah get tormented any longer. So I decided to take action. But I have a short attention span, so I decided I would see what Dumah was up to.

MIKOTO: Hey Dumass! Er, I mean Dumah! How's it going?

DUMAH: (following the movement of one of many flies buzzing around his smelly head) None of your business.

MIKOTO: But I have a gift for you. (pretending to be disappointed) But I guess you don't want it.

DUMAH: (interested) What is it?

MIKOTO: (excitedly) This! (wields her fly swatter used for smacking Zephon)

DUMAH: Why would I want that useless thing? (fly lands on his nose, he focuses his eyes on the pest)

MIKOTO: For this! (takes aim and swats at the fly on Dumah's nose really hard, misses but leaves a red, square welt on Dumah's face)

DUMAH: How dare you!

MIKOTO: EEP! (throws swatter at Dumah then runs away really fast) CLYDE!!! HELP ME!!!

I ran away to find Clyde with Dumah chasing after me, right on my tail. That was always the scariest part of SR1, when Dumah would chase me (Raziel) through his whole fortress. Now I was experiencing it firsthand! I just hope he doesn't catch me! Clyde, please be awake when I find you!!