Chapter Five: Hermione Fights Back!

   "A present for me?" Ron grinned, waving his hand wildly over his open mouth. "Aww, Hermione, you shouldn't have."

   I glared at Ron as I awkwardly placed the box down next to the table. "Please tell me why I forgave you again."

  Suddenly, Ron found his peas very fascinating.

 Harry smiled at me. "Well, since I have done nothing to offend you. Am I allowed to ask why are you carrying around a heavy box?"

  "Draco just passed it to me." I said glumly as I poked my salmon.

  "Well, so it didn't turn out so bad after all?" Harry asked hopefully.

  "Of course not." I gave a bright smile. "It turned out a hundred times worse! Do you know what that horrible Malfoy ordered me to do? He asked me to reply all his fan mail with this!"

  I practically slammed the folder Draco gave me into Harry's face. "I'm sorry." I said as Harry opened the folder.

  Harry's eyes practically popped out of his sockets. "Oh my god, I thought such crap like these were banned a long time ago."

   Ron turned from his peas to look into the folder too. "Its times like these that make me wish I was illiterate."

  "Which reply are you reading?" I asked curious.

  "Number three." Ron said, as he passed the folder back to me.

   "Dear insert name of fan girl who likes poetry here,

                                                                                     Firstly, I would like to thank you for the wonderful poem you have written of me. It touched my heart as I think of how inspiring I am to my dear fans. I have framed your poem on my wall, so I can read it before I got to sleep and when I wake up. Your poem is the first and last thing on my mind each day, and I congratulate you for having such great wisdom and taste to appreciate the beauty and wonder that is me. To reward you, I have written a poem just especially for you. And yes, I give you permission to frame it on your wall too.

Love,

Draco

        I'm handsome,

        I'm rich,

        I'm loved by every witch.

        I'm wonderful,

        I'm kind,

        I know I am so fine.

        I'm clever,

        I'm cunning,

        I set girls' hearts a running.

        I'm smooth,

        I'm suave,

        I can make any girl cave.

        But sadly baby,

        It's time for this poem to end.

        Don't cry,

        Don't weep,

        You will wake others in their sleep.

        Just always remember me,

        The most perfect boy you see."

     "Awfully modest isn't he?" Ron remarked as I finished reading reply number three.

     "You know sometimes when I speak to Draco, I can't see anything else." I deadpanned. "His head just blocks everything out."

  Harry choked on his salmon.

 With tears in his eyes, he gave me a grin. "Join the club."

  Dinner was quite pleasant.

 Harry and Ron really cheered me up a lot and prevented me from bursting a blood vessel from thinking about the hideous task Draco had set me.

 Ron gleefully reported to me that Fred and George had joined his "Laundry Force" and had thought up many wonderful ideas on handling the Slytherin's laundry.

  The thought of actually having to wash the laundry before they can actually do anything mischievous didn't seem to bother them at all.

  "Ron, Fred and George! Stop pacing around the room." I cried. "Nobody is going to give birth no matter how much you paced. And Draco said he will send someone over with the laundry quite late in the night, so just be patient."

 Ron sighed frustrated as he sat down next to Harry and me. "I just can't wait. Fred and George have such wonderful ideas."

  "What ideas?" I asked.

  "Well for one, Fred and George had devised a way to make the robes change colour and pattern. It's really clever. Ok, picture this with me." Ron said, gesturing wildly to Harry and me. "They collect their laundry. It's perfectly clean and looks perfectly normal. They wear it and it's still normal. They come out of the dorms, walk around, and attend lessons. Then suddenly, boom! Their robes change into weird colours, for boys bright neon pink and girly patterns like roses, babies, you know the usual. And maybe we will make some that say Gryffindor Rules, I'm an idiot and Draco is nuts, etc. We will make their robes into something like a walking time bomb!"

  "I get what you are trying to tell me." I say to Ron. "But still, I don't quite understand."

  Ron looked at me patiently, he talked slowly and carefully. "Firstly, will the Slytherins wear the newly washed laundry straight away?"

  I paused to recall. "Well, I remember Draco saying that the laundry will consist much of their wardrobe and I think he said they would wear it immediately to check if I was competent. I think they would wear it tomorrow if you guys can get everything ready and sent to the Slytherins in time before breakfast."

  Ron broke into a wide grin. "Great! Because Fred and George told me that they can set the clothes to change at the breakfast in the Great Hall. Can you imagine all the slytherins wearing gaudy pink robes? They are going to be so horrified!"

  "How long would the effect last?" I asked.

  Ron paused. "I don't really know, Fred and George doesn't either. They said it's not really fully tested, but should last for at least an hour."

  "Well, it would be great even for a second." I said, then thought for a moment. "Maybe you could ruin some robes too. That would be too mean though. Well, just ruin some of Draco's robes. I think he have some kind of special label on his robes."

  Harry laughed. "How about making some robes itchy! Like with itching powder that will still itch even when they wash off."

  Ron gave an "hmm". "Great idea! We will work on it."

  "You know, Draco giving us the laundry is seriously not a smart thing to do at all." I said. "It's like going to the enemy and say, Here! I would like to give you ammunition!"

  I smiled. "Draco is going to be so mad!"

 With that, I left Ron on his own to think up of more evil ideas.

  I had work to do.

 To be more precise, I had some Draco Fan Mail to manipulate.

  "Harry, are you free?" I asked.

  "Yeah, just about finish this essay for Professor Snape." Harry said, looking up from his parchment.

  "Good. When you finish, would you do me a kind favour?" I smiled at Harry sweetly. "Just take this stamp and stamp on these papers and put it in the envelops here. I have already labeled them."

  I passed Harry the "Draco" stamp and showed him the writing papers Draco placed in the box and the envelops.

  Harry looked confused. "What is the purpose of this?"

  "No real purpose except I can't possibly finish replying all the fan mails so I will just send the fans a piece of paper with Draco stamped on it. I'm sure it's enough to make most of them swoon." I laughed.

  Harry nodded and smiled. "Though it doesn't sound fun, I'm up for it."

  "Good." I said as I took a letter from the box and prepared my writing pad and quill. "Now it's time to wreck some havoc."

   I scanned through the letter. "Dear Draco,… you are so wonderful… I'm in love with you… blah blah blah." I tossed the letter after three sentences.

  I started writing. "Dear Portia, I have a confession to make. I still wet my bed every night." I gave a wicked grin as I stamped Draco's name on the paper.

  "Ok next. Another Dear Draco, I love you." I shook my head. "Seriously, where is the creativity?"

  Quickly, I scribbled another reply.

   "Dear Darlene, I'm sorry to hear that you like me. Because I have no interest in girls at all. You see… I'm gay."

  Satisfied, I stamped "Draco".

  "Dear Draco, I don't know how to live without you."

 I shook my head, another hopeless case.

  "Dear Yolanda, Seriously you don't know what you are talking about. I'm the most horrible person in the whole wide world, one second with me and you will start puking."

   And so, it went.

   I actually had a great time tarnishing Draco's reputation. So far, I had made him a bed-wetter, mummy's boy, gay, someone really obsessed with ducks, someone scared of jellybeans and basically, a jerk.

  And don't look at me like I'm doing something wrong.

  I'm just telling the truth.

  As I see it.

  I paused for a moment when I reached one letter. It went like this.

  "Dear Draco,

                        I don't know if you will ever read this because you are so popular and I know you have tons of fan mail. I just want to say thank you for helping me out when Pansy and the other Slytherin girls were teasing me about my new hairstyle. I wish I could say this to you myself, but I'm too shy and I stutter a lot. It's also really hard to get the chance you speak to you. I just want to say I think you are really nice and the sweetest boy I have ever known.

Yours Sincerely,

 Megan"

   In that case, she must only know one boy.

   Although I refuse to believe Draco actually helped someone out (it must be an accident or something), I found the letter really sweet. Harry noticed my pause.

  "What's the matter, Hermione?" Harry asked, stopping his stamping routine.

  "No, it's nothing." I said as I placed the letter aside.

  "You are not replying that?" Harry asked noticing my actions.

  For a moment, I was tempted to reply that letter.

  I wanted to tell that sweet girl how Draco is a terrible person and would make her life miserable and she should find someone more deserving of her.

  But I didn't. I took in a deep breath.

  "That one's special." I finally said. "I'm going to make Draco read that one."

  "Ok." Harry smiled and continued stamping.

  I pretended to read another letter, though I was actually thinking.

  Was I ruining all those girls' dreams of Draco?

 But they were false illusions anyway. I consoled myself.

  I sighed as I started writing another "gay" confession from Draco. I just hoped I was making the right choice.

 For the sake of all the "Megans" out there.

 This chapter ends on a more serious note than the others. Though not really serious, I wrote that because I thought that was a very Hermione thing to do. Hermione has a very big conscience, and although she's really mad at Draco, she still thinks about the consequences of her actions. ^_^ Well, the next chapter is incredibly fun to write. Because, a lot of very wacky stuff happens. I'm not going to say anything more so I won't spoil anything!

  I hope you like the chapter and I would like to dedicate it to these special people:

  Fire Soul, Strawberries and Blueberries, Tabii, Amy, Mystery Gurl, LayDe3 tR1n1ty, wolfy65, kaylakmk, Red of Rose, ~The Simon Cowell of Fanfiction.net~, Indil Elondili, AlienSmile13, Annabelle, Pendragon Sedai, Phoenix-Wings, sierradogbaby, Gandella Raye, Ezmerelda, Kiya Kideackiy, Katherine, Kelli, Mari, crazy, quidditch-playa-lover, Salem Cat, Snowbear, Ada, JDPhoenix, LoOkEn4CoFfEeGoD, sakura_angel90, couch_potato01, heavengurl899, AlyBaby, Crazie4DracoMalfoy, TokyoBabe2040, Lisa-Ann, gail olsun, Foxxie-Kitty, LiNe, Erica, Selita-Malfoy, krisleigh, Makura Koneko, eth and Sweetchick23!

 Thank you so much! All your reviews were very inspiring and enabled me to update and write so quickly! ^_^ I can't reply everybody one by one because I have exceeded my computer time! I promise to do so next chapter…. ^_^ till next time…….