Disclaimer: Okay Crystal Dynamics! You've asked for it! I've got the lieutenants and Kain hostage and I'm holding them at gunpoint with my Super Soaker XL 3000! Give in to my demands or you shall never see them again! Mwahahahahaha!

Bloodshed is a Terrible Thing.

Dumah is a very persistent vampire. He continued chasing me all the way to the dungeons, although I did gain some distance away from him. As I ran through the cellblocks trying to find Clyde, I ran into a familiar face.

MIKOTO: Lara?

LARA CROFT: Mikoto?

MIKOTO: Hey! What're you doing here?

LARA CROFT: You know. The same old reasons.

MIKOTO: Still trying to steal Kain's Soul Reaver, then, eh?

LARA CROFT: (sighs) Yes.

MIKOTO: So what've you been up to lately?

LARA CROFT: (gesturing to a skeleton on the floor) Well, Frederick and I have been having the most intriguing conversations.

MIKOTO: Really? What about?

LARA CROFT: Prince William's 21st birthday party.

MIKOTO: (confused) Why? What about it?

LARA CROFT: (angry) I wasn't invited.

MIKOTO: (shocked) You weren't? Why not?

LARA CROFT: I haven't a clue. It was very rude of them not to invite me, though. It's not like I'm going to steal anything from them. (suspiciously nudges a big sack of loot labeled 'Things I Stole From Queen Elizabeth' under the cot)

DUMAH: (from a distance) Mikoto! If you keep running you'll only make your death more painful!

MIKOTO: EEK! I gotta go! It was nice chatting with ya! Nice to meet you Frederick!

LARA CROFT: Good luck!

(I ran as fast as I could all the way to Clyde's cell. Dumah was not very far behind.)

MIKOTO: Clyde! Quick! Wake up! Dumah is coming to get me! You have to save me!

CLYDE: .

MIKOTO: Clyde! I'm serious! Wake up!

CLYDE: .

MIKOTO: C'mon Clyde! (Clyde's head moves slightly in my direction.) Clyde? Are you awake?

(A rat pokes his head out through Clyde's eye socket.)

MIKOTO: Hey! You big jerk! Get out of Clyde's brain! He doesn't want you in there! How would you like it if he tried to climb into YOUR brain? (tries to imagine what that would look like)

I kicked at the rat in Clyde's eye. It ran out of the way at the last moment, causing me to accidentally kick Clyde in the head. His head goes flying into the wall and smashed into pieces upon collision.

MIKOTO: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Clyde! It's not fair! Why did this have to happen? Why!

DUMAH: (enters the cell) What are you driveling about now, wench?

MIKOTO: (vengeful) This is all YOUR fault! (points to Dumah)

DUMAH: Me? What did I do?

MIKOTO: You killed him! You killed Clyde!

DUMAH: Who's Clyde? I didn't even touch anyone named Clyde!

MIKOTO: Because of you, Clyde is gone! Now I shall make you gone! (whips out Super Soaker XL 3000)

DUMAH: (spots Super Soaker) Ah, hell. (runs away)

MIKOTO: (chasing after Dumah) Get back here murderer!

It seems the tables had been turned. Although I have no idea why I didn't just break out my Super Soaker when Dumah first started chasing me. But anyway, I chased Dumah through the dungeon, soaking him a few times with my Super Soaker. We ended up at the far end of the dungeon, where I cornered the cowardice vampire.

MIKOTO: (taking aim at Dumah's head) Now it's time for retribution.

DUMAH: Wait! I have something for you! (reaches behind him, searching for something)

MIKOTO: Well? Out with it!

DUMAH: Here! (pulls a skeleton out from behind him, realizes what he has grabbed, and believes he is done for)

MIKOTO: (gasps) Dumah! How sweet of you! (puts Super Soaker away and yoinks skeleton from Dumah) You found me a new friend! What's your name?

SKELETON: .

MIKOTO: You like to sleep too, huh?

SKELETON: .

MIKOTO: You remind me a lot of my last friend Clyde. He liked to sleep a lot too. How about I call you Clyde II until you wake up? Is that okay?

CLYDE II: .

MIKOTO: Great!

Well, Dumah got off the hook easy, I guess. Me and Clyde II walked back to the Pillar Room where the rest of the vamps were waiting for us. Dumah insisted on following behind us for some reason. I guess he was afraid I was still angry at him.