Disclaimer: Too much work and too little fanfic make Mikoto go CRAZY!
MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Off to the loony bin I go! Take
me away boys! Check me into my usual room! MAHAHAHAHA! Oh, yeah,
something about copyrights should go here?
I Need to Vent a Little Frustration
(Upon my reentry to Nosgoth)
Raziel, Clyde II, and myself were trapped at the edge of the abyss with Kain, Turel, Rahab, Zephon, and Melchiah coming after us. Well, they were actually coming after just me. After a long, tiring day at work in the real world, the last thing I needed was this.
MIKOTO: Damnit Raziel! Weren't you supposed to have grown wings by now or something?
RAZIEL: I'm supposed to grow wings?
MIKOTO: Yes! So hurry up and grow them!
RAZIEL: Okay, I'll try!
(Raziel starts to concentrate really hard, clenching his fists and grinding his teeth, looking like one of those anime cartoons where they 'power up' but look all constipated instead. If you've ever seen Dragonball Z, then you know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. You KNOW they look like that. Kain and the vamps appear from around the corner.)
KAIN: Get her!
MIKOTO: Aw crap! I need a diversion!
(This is where I vent my frustration. I reach into the sky and grab hold of a zipper, and pull it towards the ground, 'unzipping' a portal between the Nosgoth universe and our own. Reaching inside, I use all my strength to pull out an annoying, big, fat man, about six foot tall and probably close to 300 lbs.)
ANNOYING MAN: (pretends to be startled upon seeing me) Oh, it's just YOU.
MIKOTO: That wasn't even funny the first time you did that, Chris.
CHRIS: Do you see me laughing? Where the hell is this place anyway.
(Author's Note: Let me explain who Chris is. He's this guy I work with. He's a pompous ass who thinks he's hot stuff, but he's just an obnoxious jerk and no one likes him. Where we work, he's an hourly supervisor, like myself, but he seems to think he's my boss or something.)
MIKOTO: This is Nosgoth. And they (points to Kain and vamps) are going to kill you.
CHRIS: (disbelieving) Yeah, sure they are.
MIKOTO: I would listen to me, if I were you.
CHRIS: Like I would ever listen to you. Let alone want to look at you.
MIKOTO: You're nothing pretty yourself, pal.
CHRIS: I'm not your pal. And you're just jealous that you aren't at the same level of beauty I am. You wish you could wake up in the morning and see such beauty in the mirror.
MIKOTO: (gagging) Whatever. But seriously, I brought you here as a diversion. See, while the vamps are tearing you to shreds, me, Raziel, and Clyde II will be making our getaway.
CHRIS: What? You're THAT desperate for friends that you have to befriend a skeleton and a freak?
RAZIEL: (still trying to grow wings in the same 'constipated' pose) Dear God, please make me a bat; so I can fly far; far, far away. Dear God, please make me a bat--
(Kain approaches.)
KAIN: (to vamps) Don't let her get away! I want her dead!
CHRIS: (to me) So, there's someone out there who hates you just as much as I do.
MIKOTO: THAT'S IT! Kain! This guy said you're a total wuss and that he could kick your arse. He also says that your long hair is rather girlish and makes you look gay.
KAIN: (angrily) Oh, really?
CHRIS: I don't know what she's talking about. She's a liar.
MIKOTO: Kain, this guy's a bigger jerk than I am. Don't let him fool you. He'll pretend to be nice to you and then he'll turn around and talk trash to you.
CHRIS: She's crazy. I would never say anything like that. I'm a nice guy.
RAZIEL: (still trying to grow wings) No, you're not. You called Clyde II a freak and called me a skeleton! I'm not a skeleton! I'm a vampire!
CHRIS: (raises eyebrow) Wow. I'm not even gonna touch that one. Whoever spawned that guy must've been a few chromosomes short of a DNA strand. Someone should hunt down the ones responsible for his creation and shoot them with a shotgun.
KAIN: (growling in irritation) You know, Mikoto. I actually believe you, for once.
CHRIS: Now wait a minute! How could you believe a conniving face like hers!
MIKOTO: Kain, will you just hurry up and kill him?
KAIN: Certainly.
(Kain and the vamps pounce on Chris and begin to mutilate him. Flesh and blood go flying.)
MIKOTO: (sadistically) Mahahahaha! Kill! Destroy! Rip his guts out!
RAZIEL: Hey, Mikoto! I think I got it!
(I look over to Raziel, and sure enough, he finally sprouted those famous wings of his. They are so awesome. I stare at them with wide eyes. I snap out of my daze and run towards him, scooping up Clyde II along the way. Kain and the vamps are too distracted drinking Chris's blood to notice my actions.)
MIKOTO: (to Raziel) To the Bat-Cave, Robin!
RAZIEL: What the hell's the 'Bat-Cave'? And who the hell is 'Robin'?
MIKOTO: Nevermind. Just fly.
RAZIEL: Okay.
(I hop on Raziel's back while holding onto Clyde. Raziel flaps his wings and we slowly lift off into the air and fly over the abyss. Suddenly, Raziel's wings give out and we tumble downwards towards the Lake of the Dead.)
MIKOTO: What are you doing!
RAZIEL: I thought you said I could fly!
MIKOTO: You ARE supposed to fly! Why else would you have wings? To make Kain jealous enough to cast you into the abyss?
CLYDE II: o_O
RAZIEL: Well, what do we do now?
MIKOTO: How the hell should I know?
We continued our downward spiral. (NIN rules! Get it? Haha? Nevermind. Oh, look! Nirvana, too! Boo-ya! Okay, I'll stop now.) The abyss drew ever nearer. It seemed our fate was sealed.
(BTW: Chris's dialogue is taken from actual things he has said to me. Isn't he a jerk or what? See why I needed to vent? I put up with that all day! See, I may be mean to Kain, but I have my own tormentor as well. Now if I could only arrange Chris's execution at the claws of the vamps to actually happen.)
I Need to Vent a Little Frustration
(Upon my reentry to Nosgoth)
Raziel, Clyde II, and myself were trapped at the edge of the abyss with Kain, Turel, Rahab, Zephon, and Melchiah coming after us. Well, they were actually coming after just me. After a long, tiring day at work in the real world, the last thing I needed was this.
MIKOTO: Damnit Raziel! Weren't you supposed to have grown wings by now or something?
RAZIEL: I'm supposed to grow wings?
MIKOTO: Yes! So hurry up and grow them!
RAZIEL: Okay, I'll try!
(Raziel starts to concentrate really hard, clenching his fists and grinding his teeth, looking like one of those anime cartoons where they 'power up' but look all constipated instead. If you've ever seen Dragonball Z, then you know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. You KNOW they look like that. Kain and the vamps appear from around the corner.)
KAIN: Get her!
MIKOTO: Aw crap! I need a diversion!
(This is where I vent my frustration. I reach into the sky and grab hold of a zipper, and pull it towards the ground, 'unzipping' a portal between the Nosgoth universe and our own. Reaching inside, I use all my strength to pull out an annoying, big, fat man, about six foot tall and probably close to 300 lbs.)
ANNOYING MAN: (pretends to be startled upon seeing me) Oh, it's just YOU.
MIKOTO: That wasn't even funny the first time you did that, Chris.
CHRIS: Do you see me laughing? Where the hell is this place anyway.
(Author's Note: Let me explain who Chris is. He's this guy I work with. He's a pompous ass who thinks he's hot stuff, but he's just an obnoxious jerk and no one likes him. Where we work, he's an hourly supervisor, like myself, but he seems to think he's my boss or something.)
MIKOTO: This is Nosgoth. And they (points to Kain and vamps) are going to kill you.
CHRIS: (disbelieving) Yeah, sure they are.
MIKOTO: I would listen to me, if I were you.
CHRIS: Like I would ever listen to you. Let alone want to look at you.
MIKOTO: You're nothing pretty yourself, pal.
CHRIS: I'm not your pal. And you're just jealous that you aren't at the same level of beauty I am. You wish you could wake up in the morning and see such beauty in the mirror.
MIKOTO: (gagging) Whatever. But seriously, I brought you here as a diversion. See, while the vamps are tearing you to shreds, me, Raziel, and Clyde II will be making our getaway.
CHRIS: What? You're THAT desperate for friends that you have to befriend a skeleton and a freak?
RAZIEL: (still trying to grow wings in the same 'constipated' pose) Dear God, please make me a bat; so I can fly far; far, far away. Dear God, please make me a bat--
(Kain approaches.)
KAIN: (to vamps) Don't let her get away! I want her dead!
CHRIS: (to me) So, there's someone out there who hates you just as much as I do.
MIKOTO: THAT'S IT! Kain! This guy said you're a total wuss and that he could kick your arse. He also says that your long hair is rather girlish and makes you look gay.
KAIN: (angrily) Oh, really?
CHRIS: I don't know what she's talking about. She's a liar.
MIKOTO: Kain, this guy's a bigger jerk than I am. Don't let him fool you. He'll pretend to be nice to you and then he'll turn around and talk trash to you.
CHRIS: She's crazy. I would never say anything like that. I'm a nice guy.
RAZIEL: (still trying to grow wings) No, you're not. You called Clyde II a freak and called me a skeleton! I'm not a skeleton! I'm a vampire!
CHRIS: (raises eyebrow) Wow. I'm not even gonna touch that one. Whoever spawned that guy must've been a few chromosomes short of a DNA strand. Someone should hunt down the ones responsible for his creation and shoot them with a shotgun.
KAIN: (growling in irritation) You know, Mikoto. I actually believe you, for once.
CHRIS: Now wait a minute! How could you believe a conniving face like hers!
MIKOTO: Kain, will you just hurry up and kill him?
KAIN: Certainly.
(Kain and the vamps pounce on Chris and begin to mutilate him. Flesh and blood go flying.)
MIKOTO: (sadistically) Mahahahaha! Kill! Destroy! Rip his guts out!
RAZIEL: Hey, Mikoto! I think I got it!
(I look over to Raziel, and sure enough, he finally sprouted those famous wings of his. They are so awesome. I stare at them with wide eyes. I snap out of my daze and run towards him, scooping up Clyde II along the way. Kain and the vamps are too distracted drinking Chris's blood to notice my actions.)
MIKOTO: (to Raziel) To the Bat-Cave, Robin!
RAZIEL: What the hell's the 'Bat-Cave'? And who the hell is 'Robin'?
MIKOTO: Nevermind. Just fly.
RAZIEL: Okay.
(I hop on Raziel's back while holding onto Clyde. Raziel flaps his wings and we slowly lift off into the air and fly over the abyss. Suddenly, Raziel's wings give out and we tumble downwards towards the Lake of the Dead.)
MIKOTO: What are you doing!
RAZIEL: I thought you said I could fly!
MIKOTO: You ARE supposed to fly! Why else would you have wings? To make Kain jealous enough to cast you into the abyss?
CLYDE II: o_O
RAZIEL: Well, what do we do now?
MIKOTO: How the hell should I know?
We continued our downward spiral. (NIN rules! Get it? Haha? Nevermind. Oh, look! Nirvana, too! Boo-ya! Okay, I'll stop now.) The abyss drew ever nearer. It seemed our fate was sealed.
(BTW: Chris's dialogue is taken from actual things he has said to me. Isn't he a jerk or what? See why I needed to vent? I put up with that all day! See, I may be mean to Kain, but I have my own tormentor as well. Now if I could only arrange Chris's execution at the claws of the vamps to actually happen.)
