Evil Gryff roared, being propelled forward by some unseen force (Jesus, that's a lot of forces you can't see!). Ash calmly waited until the ugly schmucks face was inches from the Remington's muzzel & fired. Gryff's body flew backwards a couple yards, as his head had ceased to exsist.
"Well?" Ash offered to the Demon Thugs.
"Let's get 'im!" one thug said to the other.
"Yeah......uh...you go first!" replied its possessed cohort.
"Pussy!" the first thug tuanted & charged towards Ash. Our one-handed hero had just finished reloading his trusty boomstick &, with a stylish flip of the gun, blew the thug to chunks.
The next two thugs charged, growling & foaming at the mouth. Ash plunged his bad-ass chainsaw into the first's chest, then violently ripped it out of the Deadite's side, decapitating the second on the follow- through.
"Groovy," Ash muttered, quite pleased with himself.
He quickly looked to his left, where the final Deadite was quietly slipping away. He cocked the shotgun & aimed it at the cowardly corpse.
"Ah shit," the Deadite groaned as he realized his fate.
BWAM!!
"I gotta tell ya," Ash said, smiling as he victoriously turned to Vash & the Padre, "I'm an artist!"
"What were those things?" Wolfwood asked.
"Deadites. Demons with nasty BO...that's how ya know they're coming," Ash explained casually, as he slung his boomstick over his shoulder. He'd been through this conversation before. "Ya see, they're summoned by this old book called the Necronomicon. Real ugly thing, too. Bound in human flesh & inked with blood. And right now, a red-haired bearded shithead with a bad accent, calls himself Mr. Grey." (based on the villian from Dreamcatcher, but not him) "Seen 'im?"
"Sorry, but we haven't seen anyone out here but you & Dread Knights," Vash shrugged.
"Deadites," Ash corrected.
"Well, we haven't seen him," Vash continued as if he never heard the time-traveling store clerk. (that would be a cool friggin' job, wouldn't it? ^_^)
"He might be back in town," Wolfwood suggested. "It's a couple miles east."
"Thanks, Padre," Ash nodded, shaking Wolfwood's hand. "See ya 'round, Pretty boy," he called to Vash the Stampede, who glared at him. And so, our hero set off east. He only got a few steps before a female scream floated over the hill.

* * *

"What are they, Meryl?!" Milly Thompson called back as she & Meryl Stryfe rode furiously on thier horses ('cuase i couldn't remember what the hell those wierd donky/kiwi thingies were called, so bite me) to escape thier bizarre pursuers.
"I dunno, Milly, but they sure can take alot of shots!" Meryl replied, tossing away yet another pair of empty derringers. Twenty-four she'd gone through & had yet to down even one of the creatures chasing them.
"C'mon back, baby," one of the once human beasts called after them with a twisted voice, "we could have lots of fun!"
"Go fuk yerself!" Meryl suggested, tossing a canteen at the nearest one.
"Meryl," Milly scolded, "Language!"
Meryl had almost forgotten the handful of orphans they had managed to save & take with them as they fled the city, which had been overrun by thosse things.
"Sorry!" Meryl tossed a frying pan at another monster.
"S'alright!" replied one of the creatures.
"Not you!!" she threw that wierd-ass cat at the one who had spoke.
"Look, Meryl, it's Mr. Vash!" Milly pointed forward. As they came over a hill, Meryl saw Vash & Wolfwood standing with a mysterious stranger who would later be revealed to be Ash, the grooviest living being in the universe (^_^). Vash looked rather humorusly suprised to see the girls, while Wolfwood was more concerned by the monsters following them.
Ash looked disdainfully at the hoard of Deadites; they always seemed to try to kill the cute ones. Quickly reloading his Remington, Ash prepared for another ass-whuppin'. He was quite happy to see Pretty Boy & the Padre pull guns; there must've been dozens of Deadites charging down the hill, and ,despite his over-powering grooviness, Ash could use all the help he could get.