Disclaimer: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And it is my
opinion that I can abuse Kain and the vamps in any way I choose and there
is nothing Crystal Dynamics can do about it! Mwahahahaha!
Lunacy is My Middle Name
Clyde II, Raziel, and I ran into a very ticked off Dumah.
MIKOTO: (stuttering) Oh, hi Dumah! Long time no see, huh?
DUMAH: (growling) I'm not in the mood for pleasantries, Mikoto!
MIKOTO: (frightened) Oh, you're not? Well, um... How did get here so fast anyway?
DUMAH: A convenient plot hole. One you shouldn't have left lying around.
RAZIEL: (interrupts) Hey, Dumah! Check it out! I grew wings!
DUMAH: (puzzled) Why are you proud of THOSE?
I look to Raziel and notice he's sporting a lovely pair of butterfly wings.
MIKOTO: Raziel!! Where'd those butterfly wings come from? What happened to your bat wings?
RAZIEL: Well, the bat wings didn't work out so well, so I grew new ones. Aren't they pretty?
DUMAH: They're hideous!
RAZIEL: You're mean! (cries)
MIKOTO: (angry) Why'd you have to go and upset Raziel like that for!
DUMAH: Why are you feeling sorry for him? He's the one who put gunpowder up my nose!
RAZIEL: Nuh uh! Turel did!
DUMAH: You still helped!
RAZIEL: So!
MIKOTO: Everyone feels sorry for Raziel because everyone likes him. No one likes you, Dumah!
DUMAH: (very angry) Oh yeah! Well, I'll show you! I learned a new ability that will make everyone like me! While my head was blown to pieces, I was in the spirit realm where I grew stronger! Not even Kain can surpass my new abilities now!
MIKOTO: Oh, really? Prove it!
DUMAH: Gladly. : )
We watch as Dumah takes a few moments to stretch his arms and legs. He gets up on his toes and stretches his arms to the sky.
DUMAH: This is called 'constrict'!
Dumah begins to circle us on his tiptoes as we watch in confusion. He seems to not be doing anything at all, except mimicking the worst ballet dancer I could imagine. He completes his circle and as I suspected, nothing has happened.
DUMAH: There! Now you should be stunned!
MIKOTO: Nope, I'm fine. Raziel?
RAZIEL: That was the coolest! I wanna be a ballet dancer too! (prances around) All I need is a pink tutu to go with my wings!
DUMAH: (angry) It was NOT ballet! It was constrict!
MIKOTO: It was idiocy! Not even Clyde II was effected by that! Right, Clyde II?
CLYDE II: @_@
MIKOTO: Clyde II!! No! Not Clyde II! You monster! You hurt another one of my friends! How could you!
DUMAH: (satisfied) Constrict is a force to be reckoned with!
MIKOTO: I'll show you a force to be reckoned with, you jerk!
From one of my many plot holes, I pull out an entire fire engine with all my strength. I wield the fire hose, aiming it at Dumah. He stares at me terror-stricken.
DUMAH: You wouldn't!
MIKOTO: Yes! I would! This is for Clyde and Clyde II!!
I pull back the lever on the nozzle and spray Dumah full force with the fire hose. He screams in utmost pain and agony. Several long minutes go by, and his wails have finally ceased. Caught up in sick pleasure, I continue to run the water at full blast until the entire fire engine is empty and only a trickle drips from my hose. I (literally) kick the fire engine back into the plot hole. Not a trace of Dumah is left.
MIKOTO: That'll teach him.
RAZIEL: It was awfully cruel of you, though.
MIKOTO: Who cares? You'll be thanking me later when a certain someone decides to throw you into the abyss.
RAZIEL: YOU'RE not throwing me into the abyss? Are you?
MIKOTO: Would I have carried you across it if I wanted you in there in the first place?
RAZIEL: Maybe you changed your mind...
MIKOTO: I might if you don't get rid of those butterfly wings...
RAZIEL: EEP!
Raziel bites on his tongue in concentration and "POP!" his old wings come back.
MIKOTO: Better. Hey, what's that?
I go over to the last known spot where Dumah was standing moments before his watery demise. A skeleton is on the floor in Dumah's place. I look at it carefully. I realize who this skeleton is and I scoop him up into the air.
MIKOTO: (happy and excited all at the same time) Look Raziel! It's Clyde! The original Clyde! His head is all better! It must've healed in the same plot hole that healed Dumah's head!
RAZIEL: Hey, Clyde! Glad to see you're feeling better!
CLYDE: ...
MIKOTO: (to Clyde II) Sorry Clyde II, but Clyde is back so we'll have to send you back to the 'Be My Friend' clinic. No hard feelings, right?
CLYDE II: ...
MIKOTO: Good. Well, I'll be seeing ya around, right?
CLYDE II: ...
MIKOTO: Okay. Bye Clyde II!
RAZIEL: Bye Clyde II!
CLYDE II: ...
We left Clyde II in the snowy fields of northern Nosgoth to go on our separate ways in hopes that we might see him again. However, at that time, we were unaware that we would never see him again...
Mission Update!!!
I just got my webpage to a decent level of completion, and since I feel pretty satisfied with it, I've posted it on my author page! Take a look! Also, I bought the new Tomb Raider! Seems pretty cool so far, if only I can get used to the controls.
Lunacy is My Middle Name
Clyde II, Raziel, and I ran into a very ticked off Dumah.
MIKOTO: (stuttering) Oh, hi Dumah! Long time no see, huh?
DUMAH: (growling) I'm not in the mood for pleasantries, Mikoto!
MIKOTO: (frightened) Oh, you're not? Well, um... How did get here so fast anyway?
DUMAH: A convenient plot hole. One you shouldn't have left lying around.
RAZIEL: (interrupts) Hey, Dumah! Check it out! I grew wings!
DUMAH: (puzzled) Why are you proud of THOSE?
I look to Raziel and notice he's sporting a lovely pair of butterfly wings.
MIKOTO: Raziel!! Where'd those butterfly wings come from? What happened to your bat wings?
RAZIEL: Well, the bat wings didn't work out so well, so I grew new ones. Aren't they pretty?
DUMAH: They're hideous!
RAZIEL: You're mean! (cries)
MIKOTO: (angry) Why'd you have to go and upset Raziel like that for!
DUMAH: Why are you feeling sorry for him? He's the one who put gunpowder up my nose!
RAZIEL: Nuh uh! Turel did!
DUMAH: You still helped!
RAZIEL: So!
MIKOTO: Everyone feels sorry for Raziel because everyone likes him. No one likes you, Dumah!
DUMAH: (very angry) Oh yeah! Well, I'll show you! I learned a new ability that will make everyone like me! While my head was blown to pieces, I was in the spirit realm where I grew stronger! Not even Kain can surpass my new abilities now!
MIKOTO: Oh, really? Prove it!
DUMAH: Gladly. : )
We watch as Dumah takes a few moments to stretch his arms and legs. He gets up on his toes and stretches his arms to the sky.
DUMAH: This is called 'constrict'!
Dumah begins to circle us on his tiptoes as we watch in confusion. He seems to not be doing anything at all, except mimicking the worst ballet dancer I could imagine. He completes his circle and as I suspected, nothing has happened.
DUMAH: There! Now you should be stunned!
MIKOTO: Nope, I'm fine. Raziel?
RAZIEL: That was the coolest! I wanna be a ballet dancer too! (prances around) All I need is a pink tutu to go with my wings!
DUMAH: (angry) It was NOT ballet! It was constrict!
MIKOTO: It was idiocy! Not even Clyde II was effected by that! Right, Clyde II?
CLYDE II: @_@
MIKOTO: Clyde II!! No! Not Clyde II! You monster! You hurt another one of my friends! How could you!
DUMAH: (satisfied) Constrict is a force to be reckoned with!
MIKOTO: I'll show you a force to be reckoned with, you jerk!
From one of my many plot holes, I pull out an entire fire engine with all my strength. I wield the fire hose, aiming it at Dumah. He stares at me terror-stricken.
DUMAH: You wouldn't!
MIKOTO: Yes! I would! This is for Clyde and Clyde II!!
I pull back the lever on the nozzle and spray Dumah full force with the fire hose. He screams in utmost pain and agony. Several long minutes go by, and his wails have finally ceased. Caught up in sick pleasure, I continue to run the water at full blast until the entire fire engine is empty and only a trickle drips from my hose. I (literally) kick the fire engine back into the plot hole. Not a trace of Dumah is left.
MIKOTO: That'll teach him.
RAZIEL: It was awfully cruel of you, though.
MIKOTO: Who cares? You'll be thanking me later when a certain someone decides to throw you into the abyss.
RAZIEL: YOU'RE not throwing me into the abyss? Are you?
MIKOTO: Would I have carried you across it if I wanted you in there in the first place?
RAZIEL: Maybe you changed your mind...
MIKOTO: I might if you don't get rid of those butterfly wings...
RAZIEL: EEP!
Raziel bites on his tongue in concentration and "POP!" his old wings come back.
MIKOTO: Better. Hey, what's that?
I go over to the last known spot where Dumah was standing moments before his watery demise. A skeleton is on the floor in Dumah's place. I look at it carefully. I realize who this skeleton is and I scoop him up into the air.
MIKOTO: (happy and excited all at the same time) Look Raziel! It's Clyde! The original Clyde! His head is all better! It must've healed in the same plot hole that healed Dumah's head!
RAZIEL: Hey, Clyde! Glad to see you're feeling better!
CLYDE: ...
MIKOTO: (to Clyde II) Sorry Clyde II, but Clyde is back so we'll have to send you back to the 'Be My Friend' clinic. No hard feelings, right?
CLYDE II: ...
MIKOTO: Good. Well, I'll be seeing ya around, right?
CLYDE II: ...
MIKOTO: Okay. Bye Clyde II!
RAZIEL: Bye Clyde II!
CLYDE II: ...
We left Clyde II in the snowy fields of northern Nosgoth to go on our separate ways in hopes that we might see him again. However, at that time, we were unaware that we would never see him again...
Mission Update!!!
I just got my webpage to a decent level of completion, and since I feel pretty satisfied with it, I've posted it on my author page! Take a look! Also, I bought the new Tomb Raider! Seems pretty cool so far, if only I can get used to the controls.
