Disclaimer: As previously mentioned, all the people, places, and bits of furniture in this story belong to the maniacs at Marvel. I, sadly, own nothing. Once again, I am making no money from this. However, if you would like to make a donation, please contact Delilah seeing as how she does everything for me anyway. Right then, on with the fiction!
Delilah: Hello we are back again. Oh joy of wondrous joys. *smiles falsely*
Tangy: I don't know why I pay you. You're awful at this sort of stuff.
Delilah: *blinks* You don't pay me. Can I get paid for this?
Tangy: Well, in a world that doesn't hate you…yes. But I am a tyrannical bitch. Yarrharrharr!
Delilah: I thought I was the tyrannical bitch. *looks confused*
Tangy: Well, you're the tyrannical bitch. I'm a tyrannical bitch. Very big difference, my little Beta Buddy.
Delilah: Oh. Well, if I'm the tyrannical bitch and the bible whore, what are you?
Tangy: Tangy and quite delicious. On with the story *whip crack*!
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"Damn it," the
majority of the room chorused. It was around ten in the morning, and the more
important members of the Institute were gathered around a decorative coffee
table in one of the many recreational rooms. A distinctive BAMF was heard, and
the smell of brimstone wafted up to their noses.
"Damn vat?" The thick German
accent floated above the curses, coughs, and damnations that echoed throughout
the room. Amanda Sefton, loosely attached at the arm, yawned wide and looked at
the others with disinterest.
"We were in bed," she glared
accusingly at a few of the others, "And were interrupted by an…eavesdropper."
She shot her shifty gaze in the direction of Professor Xavier, who immediately
turned his head and began to whistle. The others guessed that he had heard a
little more than necessary of the activities taking place in the couple newly
founded basement cabana.
"Vell, vat is going on?" Betsy
was once again patting down one of Warren's fly away hairs with her own saliva.
"It seems," The Professor
began in his I-am-about-to-give-a-large-an-uninteresting-speech voice. He was
not given the time to finish.
"Well, I went down to get an
Eggo and some coffee," Kitty interjected.
"And I was sleeping!" Kitty
gave Bobby a menacing look before continuing.
"And this guy hands me some
coffee—"
"That's when Ah came in. Kitty
was makin' her waffles, and Ah smelled them. So Ah walked in and started
talkin' to Kitty—"
"You did not! You tried to
steal my Eggos!"
"Ah did not!"
"Did too!"
"Ah did not, an that's th'
Gawddamned tru—"
"Did too."
"I'm Jean Grey!"
Jean cried out, waving her Barbie and Ken dolls (named Jeannie and Scottie)
around in the air. The other's looked at her and just accepted it as normal
behavior. She had developed the habit of announcing herself recently.
"Anyway, Kitty was makin'
waffles, which Ah did not try to steal," Kitty gave a short 'Hmph!', but
did not interrupt. "And like she said, this guy was handing out coffee. He made
me some tea. So Ah look up, and Ah say 'Oh mah Gawd Kitty—"
"You didn't say that."
"How would you know, Bobby,
you hadn't come in yet!"
"I had so, Kitty."
"Had not."
"Had so."
"Had not."
"Had so times one hundred!"
"Had not times infinity! Hah, I win!" Bobby hung his head in shame, and Kitty had a triumphant look on her face. If she couldn't beat Rogue, she always had Bobby.
"ANYWAY," Rogue's glare shut the pair up. "As Ah was sayin', Ah turned to Kitty and said—"She was interrupted by a loud thump. The group slowly turned their heads up to where bits of ceiling plaster were floating down and settling on their noses.
"What was that?" Ororo looked concerned. Piotr looked frightened. Jean seemed uninterested and continued with her dolls, and Scott was enthralled by the make out session that "Jeannie" and "Scottie" were participating in. Rogue had focused on Remy, who looked much the guilty party.
"Spill it, Cajun," Logan growled from his perch next to Kitty. Betsy was busying herself by swatting chunks of plaster out of Warren's perfected mane.
"Well, Remy went to the bar last night," the group nodded their understanding.
"And did what exactly?"
"Well, de poor guy had nowhere else to go…"
"Oh Gawd, ya brought home a stray?"
"You know you're not allowed to have pets, Remy! Remember the bird?"
"That was an accident! Didn't mean ta blow up de ting. De damned parrot looked like de target."
"That was cool, though." Ororo shot a dissatisfied look in Bobby's general direction.
"Kitty has Lockheed! What's wrong with Remy having a dog? Maybe he'll learn some responsibility." Rogue finally stepped up to defend her hubby.
"That's different. I am intelligent enough NOT TO SET MY PET ON FIRE!"
"HE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!"
"I always wanted a pet dog. But I got Hank instead." Bobby didn't see anything wrong with his statement, but a grumble and fwap over the head from his large blue friend reset his mindframe.
"He's not a dog! His name is Pete!" Remy shouted.
"You can't name your dog Pete." Ororo pointed out.
"I am Piotr." The simple Russian sounded like an automated message machine. Jean had to fight herself not to make him add a 'please leave your message after the beep: BEEP!'.
"I didn't name him Pete! He was already named Pete!" Amanda and Kurt had sat down a good while beforehand. The pressure the conversation was exerting on their already muddled minds was too much to bear.
"Well, he could name it Pete. We'd just have to specify who we were speaking to. You know. Human Pete or Canine Pete." Scott had begun to be disturbed by the Barbie doll's public displays of 'affection', and had joined the conversation.
"For Pete's sake, get on with it!" Kurt yelled.
"Which Pete?" Amanda asked, sincerely.
"Both Petes!"
"There is only one!"
"Maybe I'll name Jeannie and Scottie's son Pete!" Jean seemed excited about the idea.
"There is only one Pete!"
"Piotr shouldn't be so selfish! There are other people named Pete!" Kitty retorted.
"He can't name it Pete. We already have a Pete. There is only one Pete," Ororo spat.
"No, there's two!" Scott complained.
"Three if you count Jean's to-be-named Barbie." Bobby really wasn't helping Ororo's mood, and a loud clap of thunder merely proved it.
"No, Pete's a guy!" Remy tried to explain. It apparently didn't come out quite how he wished, and Rogue quirked a suspicious eyebrow.
"Ya picked up a guy at th' bar?"
"No, Rogue, It isn't like that!" He tried to explain. But, as everyone knows, explanations are lost on Rogue and she went red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"YOU'RE LEAVING MEH FOR A GAY MAN NAMED PETE?"
"Wot the bloody hell are you all callin' me for?" The unmistakable British accent of the infamous Pete Wisdom broke the turmoil. He was rubbing his head, and had the markings of a major hangover.
"PETE?!?!" Kitty shrieked upon recognizing her lost love. Ororo slowly turned, fearing the truth.
"So you're Pete, huh?" Rogue tried to act calm, but she wasn't the best actress.
"Yeah, got a problem with it, mate?"
"Yes, in fact Ah do." With the simple statement out of the way, Rogue did her best ninja impression and lunged at Pete with a definitive 'Hieee-yah'. Hank and Bobby collectively pulled back the rabid woman and held her in place, hoping they wouldn't get bitten in the process.
"YOU BROUGHT THAT VAGABOND INTO OUR HOUSE?" Ororo shot out of her seat and headed towards Remy, ready to murder. Rogue lunged and did her best ninja cry, aiming to kill.
"So he's the one who was in the kitchen?" Amanda scratched her head as Kitty glomp-tackled her lost love. Piotr looked sulkier than usual, and Ororo looked like the late old yeller being held back by a disgruntled telekinetic.
"No, no. The man in the kitchen was—" It seemed that Xavier would never get a word in edgewise.
"Wait, yer Kitty's Pete?" Rogue was calming down after seeing Kitty's more than warm welcome.
"Piotr is Kitty's Pete! THEY ARE DESTINED TO—" Nobody complained when Scott slapped a bit of duct tape across Ororo's mouth and wrists and tossed her into a recliner.
"Ah thought you and Remy had…" She brought her fist to her mouth and coughed.
"Why were you so quick to assume, Chere?"
"Well, you do where Pink," Bobby cut in.
"Stop harassing Remy! Pink is all the rage in France," Betsy cooed, tackling the flyaway on Warren's crown that never seemed to keep flat.
"So you were Kitty's 'Excalibur' Pete." Rogue rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
"He said yes, did he not?" Kurt tossed the question up for debate.
"YA LOUSY BOTTOMDWELLER! WHY AH OUGHTTA TEAR YA UP WHERE YA STAND! NOT ONLY DID YA BREAK KITTY'S LITTLE HEART, YA NEARLY BROKE MAH HEART TOO!" Rogue made another attempted pounce, easily thwarted by Logan. Pete blinked.
"Well, technically I dumped him, Rogue." Kitty blushed, "But I'm ready to give it another go!" She grinned at Pete, who seemed to be happy and at the same moment for the first time in a long while.
"Oh. Well, in that case…Ah'm happy for you two! Well, now that y'all are reunited and such." Rogue smiled and sat down in Remy's lap. It took a few moments to register that she had calmed down, and a silence hung over the air for a bit.
"So who was the man in the kitchen?" Amanda finally asked.
"Well, you see, Mistah Sini—" Rogue attempted to explain, but, Xavier, sick of being denied the fun of sharing bad news, stole the opportunity to tell of the problem that they faced.
"Mr.-Sinister-is-here-and-has-turned-our-lives-into-a-reality-television-program-funded-by-FOX," he said in one breath so that he could not be interrupted.
"FOX!?!?" Bobby exclaimed with a gasp, although he already knew the information.
"Oh is zat all?" Kurt inquired with a huff. "Ve thought it vas important." With a flash of black smoke the remaining members were stuck attempting to rid themselves of the smell of bamf. They assumed that they would not be seeing much of the couple for a very long time, seeing as how they kept to themselves in their own basement love shack.
"I'm Jean Grey!"
"We know, Honey," Scott patted her shoulder affectionately, sighing deeply and contemplating the horrors that Sinister would bring upon them.
Tangy: Well, *cough*, that
was fun now wasn't it?
Delilah: Whatever you say, Tang.
Tangy: Dun call me that. You make me sound like a bitter orange beverage.
Delilah: Well maybe you are one.
Tangy: You are useless, and mean. Go away.
Delilah: FINE!*storms off*
Tangy: Anyways, please review!
Delilah: Yeah, she has a bad enough inferiority complex without them.
Tangy: I thought you left…
Delilah: It was an illusion*creepy finger wiggle*
Tangy: Okay then. Next chapter coming soon to a fanfiction near you!
Delilah: That was cheesy.
And not even good cheese.
