Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone. If I owned them I would be a very rich Tangy and not the poor starving authoress I am today. Sue me if you wish but all you'll get is some lint and an old soda can. Maybe some stuffed animals and X-Men merchandise, but honestly it's not worth the pain of a lawyer. Really, they are evil heartless bastards. Unless you happen to be one. Then they are totally awesome. Yeah. Go lawyers. Anyways, don't sue me and I won't bite you. Thanks and enjoy!

Tangy: Well, here we are. On the road again, hum dum dum dum on the road again...

Delilah: Hello again! What an amazing surprise to see you all again!

Tangy:*Mutters*I won't take that offensively, I won't take that offensively….

Delilah: Right then. . .urr. . .here's a very fascinating chapter

Tangy: Only because…well ..I can't say right now. But it's good. I promise. No wait, I don't promise. I don't want to be held accountable if nobody likes it.

Delilah: Yes, in this chapter when learn how evil sinister really is. I feel sorry for them all. . .well except maybe Kurt and Amanda. They're too preoccupied to care about much of anything.

Tangy: Or I'm too lazy to make them care. Anywho, have fun and enjoy the fun of a most… eventful… reality T.V. series.

Delilah: *mumbles* fun. . .torture more like . . .*in an overly excited tone* Right! On with the fic.


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A buzzer sounded throughout the entire mansion (save the basement, where a more than comfortable couple were busying themselves with things that disturbed more than interested their colleagues) much like the foghorn of the late R.M.S. Titanic.

More than one member of the Institute found themselves on the floor or under their beds, clutching their heads in misery. Mr. Sinister, comfortably seated in a leather recliner in the midst of the living room, hit the button on his "ACME Foghorn" remote a few more times for good measure.

The sounds of cursing and anger made him giddier than a schoolgirl coming face to face with Ben Affleck, and we all know how giddy that would make him.

"Wot the bloody hell are you doin'? Wakin' us up at the crack of dawn with a bleedin' foghorn installed in the walls!"

Pete Wisdom was never one to tone down his attitude, even when threatened by a man such as Sinister. He puffed out his chest in anger and lit up a cigarette.



"Shush, Pete. My head hurts enough without a mixture of your ranting and gaseous toxins." Kitty waved her hand at him lazily before flopping down face down on the couch, intent on getting some sleep.

Sinister pushed his button once more, and was bombarded with pillows in his face from her direction. He scowled, but left her alone while he waited for the others to come down.

"What now?" Betsy yawned, yanking a disobedient Warren into attention.

"I wanna go back to bed," Warren whined, only to receive a cold look from his lady friend. It seemed to be a silent threat that he would be spending the night on the couch (or worse, with Sinister) if he didn't behave.

Sinister held up a pale hand to silence them and motioned for them to sit.

 Soon Scott strutted into the room with a limp Jean by his side. Scott's shaded eyes met with a few that seemed to emanate hatred for his ability to cope with these early mornings. He silently accredited it to his dedication to early morning sessions, but did not voice his opinions for fear of flying objects.

Jean dropped to the floor cross-legged, eagerly watching Sinister's sneering face. Hank, followed by the notorious Bobby Drake, wheeled in Professor Xavier. By the looks of it (it being a slight dent in the side of the professor's wheelchair), the early morning wake up call had indeed knocked him off of his feet--or wheels, as the case may be.

"Hey, Sinister! What's the hap?" Bobby saluted the man in the easy chair, offering a smile and small wave before being jutted out of the way by Hank.


Ororo Munroe, formerly praised as a goddess, seemed to miss her royal treatment back in Africa and gave Sinister the official "How-dare-you" glare. He chuckled, offering her a seat with a clean sweep of his arm after Piotr had clambered in quite loudly. Sinister rapped his fingers impatiently across the arm of the chair. Logan lumbered in, shooting out his claws and letting out a low growl in the only audible response to Sinister's 'alarm clock.'

"Well, we might as well begin."



"Hmph-mmph," sounded the lump on the couch that had been at one point distinguishable as Kitty.


"Hey, get out of my head!" Sinister chucked a large pillow at Xavier, who had been snooping for clues as to what was going to happen.

He toppled over and cried out like a turtle on it's back. Hank, suppressing the laughter that Bobby apparently could not, gingerly pulled him back up. Sinister grabbed a hefty fruit bowl off the coffee table and relieved it of its wax food guarding duties, before placing it over his head.

His facial expression said more than a stuck out tongue and rendition of "neener neener" ever would. Charles scowled and lowered his head.

"As I was saying," a shifty gaze met the Professor's rather shamed one, and the resident villain continued. "I have two reasons for bringing you all down here at this time of day."

"Better be a damned good reason, mate."

"Shush, Pete, he's talking! That's rude." Kitty was now sprawled across Pete's lap, and had given him her best reprimanding look. He merely flashed the you're so so cute when you're mad" smirk.



"Hem, hem." Sinister cleared his throat, allowing a moment of condescending glances before continuing. "Today you will be embarking on your first task for the show. You will be spelunking, so please," he flashed a wary eye in Betsy's direction, "dress appropriately."

"Well I never!" She spouted.

"Well, actually, Betsy, dear, people are always telling you off for that little number you wear." Warren offered a shy smile.

"I don't see you ever complaining, Warren." That seemed to shut him up.

"Will you people please let me continue?"

"I'm all ears, Sinister, my man!" Bobby gave him two thumbs up, and the rest of the group turned their heads in the opposite direction as if to say they were not acquainted with him.

"I have arranged for a few…past attendants…of this school to stop by for an prolonged visit." Sinister crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap, reveling in the dropped jaws of the X-Men sprawled out before him.



"BRING IN THE GIRL!" They all jumped at his sudden outburst, and Kitty restrained a giggle.

The images of Sinister reading a copy of "Dr. Evils Guide to Being, Well, Evil" in front of a fire with a frothy cup of hot chocolate were running nonstop through her head.

 All eyes soon turned to the door, however, as the distinctive click-clack of high-heeled footwear found it's way through the corridor.

"Hubba hubba." Bobby seemed to speak for the majority of the men with his brash commentary. Scott had turned his head along with the short leash that Jean kept him on.



"And hello to you too, Bobby," the icy but strangely calming voice of dominatrix and teacher extraordinaire, Emma Frost, was accompanied by a wink in Bobby's direction.

"Had me worried for a second there, Bub." Logan breathed a sigh of relief.

Yeah, at least it isn't—" Poor simple minded Piotr Rasputin did not seem to have yet grasped Murphy's Law. Anything that can possibly go wrong…will.


Xavier was suddenly stunned by a dozen mental voices screaming "NOOOO!" and fighting not to fall to their knees with clenched fists. Logan, for one, was having he most trouble. Kitty's eyes flared up with a rekindled hatred.

"Logan!" The bouncy and altogether easily hated girl bounded towards the once stable man with her demonic arms outstretched and ready for a hug. Logan was backing up, straight into a wall to his dismay, from the only thing that had ever inspired fear in him: Jubilee.

"Oh, Logan, I missed you so so so so so so so SOOOO much!" The look on his face indicated that the girl was squeezing all life and happiness from his body.

"Er…yeah, kid." Kitty was mumbling incoherent death threats while Pete tried any and all ways to calm her down a bit.

 The others were in an incurable state of shock. Sinister sat with a smug look on his face. Rogue and Remy chose perhaps the worst of times to enter the situation.

"Sorry Ah'm late! Remy and Ah were up late last night." Even if their teammates had been conscious enough to think over the phrase, they would not have been able to make much sense of it. What they could have possibly been doing to stay up late together was soon answered.

"'S not Remy's fault that she don't know de rules of Scrabble."

"Ah do so know how ta play Scrabble." She glowered. Suddenly a realization had come over the couple. Nobody had yet interrupted them, which was a strange occurrence indeed in the lives of these particular mutant superheroes. Yes, poor Remy had caught sight of the demon-girl.

"Oh, God non! Remy thought 'e was rid of 'er!"

"Hah. Try teaching her," Emma whispered sardonically. Jubilee had now released Logan from her death grip, only to find Remy standing in the doorway as he looked for a hiding place.

"Remy!" She plunged at him, but his reflexes were better than she had suspected. He had been practicing in case this ever did happen. He was soon hanging from a chandelier, where he suspected nobody, not even the sparkle spouting spawn of Satan, could reach him. Rogue was snickering with Emma as he swung, at mercy to the whims of gravity.

"That's enough, Jubilee." A stern look from Sinister to the youngster frightened her enough to allow Remy time to hop off and run to safety behind Rogue.


Logan had a vase in hand for the next time she came near him.

"Everyone should now go get ready for the 'hiking trek' you will be taking this afternoon. It will be quite the adventure. Now go!" With a clap of his hands, the entire population of the room (save Sinister himself, and of course, Jubilee) ran from the room, relieved that he had let them escape the atrocious hell bound child.



Delilah: That was short. We apologize.

Tangy: Oh Well. I would like to start by saying that I love all my reviewers more than I will EVER love Deli. So a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I had a few questions asked that I shall now answer!

Delilah: Here we go…

Tangy: Firstly, no. Jean's Barbie doesn't have a visor. He has those cheap 80s style sunglasses that I remember MY Ken doll used to have.

Delilah: You still have Barbies.

Tangy: That's not the point, damnit *fwap*. My second question from my loverly and fluffy reviewers was when will chapter four be up.

Delilah: You know it's up right now. This is it.

Tangy: Chapter four is now up.

Delilah: You're being redundant, don't you think?

Tangy: Good point. Ten points to the Gryffinwhore.

Delilah: Poor brain-damaged Tangy.

Tangy: Anywho, I shall be posting chapter five very shortly, if not within the next 24 hours. I tend to write a chapter every night between 2 and 4 AM. I blame that for my dislike of this chapter. Chapter five will be much better.

Delilah: You hope.

Tangy: You are very bad for my self-confidence*scampers off**Arnold voice*I'll be back.