Jin vs. Ling

A/N: As you may recall, I mentioned that I have several complaints about how long my chapters are. I would like to say that it doesn't really matter on the length of the chapters, it only matters THAT I KEEP WRITING THEM! I would like to add that if I get any more complaints about my chapter- lengths, I will go totally and utterly mental. If my brain get to this extremity, I will most likely do exactly what Ogre does in his Tekken 3 ending, ie. Turn into a huge monster and completely obliterate my house with fire and smoke. This is chapter is what you have been waiting for, the fight of Jin and Ling! *hears faint scratches at the door and then an earth shattering MEOW! coming from the garage* Umm..... excuse me while I make my cat shut up.... *charmaine stomps out of the room and you can hear sounds of hissing and meowing cats* Well, that's all cleared up now.... your probably wondering what I did to them. Don't worry, all I did was give them 20 tins of cat food to shut them up. Your probably going O_O by now and wondering how many cats I have. There are only 3 of them, but they meow and meow and won't shut the fuc/ up! I need peace and quiet to write stories!! AARRRGGGHHH!!!!...... (By the way, I am going to go all out now and post chapters like there's no tomorrow, cause, basically, school is coming in about 4 days, and my world is coming to an end! In short, I'm basically getting kicked out of heaven and going to straight to hell! WWWAAAHHH!!) [And this is just a short note to get down on my knees and thank Jes because he has updated The King of Iron Fart!! HALEAUJH!... ok, my spelling sux, I'm very sorry...]

A/N/J/T/P/Y/O (I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT THIS MEANS, DO DAH, DO DAH, I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT THIS MEANS, OH DO DAH DAY!...): And now, we welcome the (in)famous fireswan!.....

*several minutes pass*

Ahem, now we welcome the fireswan!

*same thing happens=nothing*

Ok, I think I'll need to be a bit louder, everyone plug your ears.

*everyone plugs their ears*

WE WELCOME FIRESWAN ON THE STAGE NOW AND SHE HAD BETTER GET ON THE STAGE WHETHER SHE WANTS TO OR NOT!

*several people are cleaning out their ears and saying to each other "Can you hear anything? No neither can I. Must've gone temporarily deaf...."*

Camera man gets on the stage and whispers in the host's ear, "fireswan won't get on stage until you say sorry...."

Sorry? SORRY?! WHATEVER THE HELL FOR?

"Well, you see, you insulted her...."

INSULTED HER? THIS IN THE FRIKIN' SCRIPT!

"Well, you have to apologize to her or you won't have a show..."

OH I SEE NOW, YOUR BLACKMAILING ME AREN'T YOU! WELL GUESS WHAT? YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB! I'M GONNA HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO HER NOW! GEEZ!

*Walks to the back of stage*

Look fireswan I'm sorry I insulted you.

"Well, I get the last laugh anyway, cause I'm going to wait till the end of the chapter for you to do your crappy interview! You're gonna pay for what you said about me!"

WHY YOU--

*as the host dashes forward, fireswan puts up her hand and shows all of the host's baby pictures*

NNNNNOOOOO!!!

"Actually, YYYYEEEESSSS!!!"

*camera man blocks the host pleading on his knees for fireswan to please burn the photos*

"Well, people, you'd better get on with the story! And don't forget, next will be when we talk to the star Daniel Radcliffe (I think that's his name) about his role in the Harry Potter movies, and then we talk to fireswan to see how she got the idea for the dojo'd treasurer and BB!..... at least, I hope it's this chapter....."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ling or Jin WINS!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ling ran out of the school, hoping to get to the park in time. As she entered to wrought-iron gates, Ling heard the announcer declaring, "Because Ling Xiaoyu isn't here..."

At this moment someone in a pink shirt at the edge of the crowd interrupted with a cry of, "THAT'S what her last name is! It sounds pretty crappy though.."

The announcer went on with starting with the same line teachers do, "As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted (I get this line all the time, and I hate it! AND PEOPLE RECKON I'M AN 'A' STUDENT! You should see the people who are a real pain in the @$$ to teachers!), because Ling isn't here, I will have to announce the winner as being...."

"ME!" Ling shouted, performing a cartwheel (Triangle+O+X [I think that's how you do it.... I'm not sure so don't judge me if I'm wrong!!]) and doing her most powerful attack on the 'pink-shirted-dude-at-the-edge-of-the- crowd', which is Thunder Strike (Back+Square+Triangle, Square+Triangle [Try hitting the last two buttons, ie. Square+Triangle, like mad until she completes Thunder Strike. Just saying that it might help]).

'Jin looks impressed,' Ling thought as she got up on the podium. 'He looks so handsome, standing there...' Ling's gaze lost the wonder it held and her eyes hardened. 'He's just acting cocky because he thinks he can win... I'll show him!"

Ling got up onto the stage, where the announcer practically screamed into the microphone, "SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE! HOLY S#IT, WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOT READY YET! OK, PEOPLE, LAST CHANCE TO PUT YOUR BETS IN! THE BETS PLACED ON LING=0! THE BETS PLACED ON JIN=97! OK, GET READY TO--"

"Hey wait a minute! You sound familiar!" Ling suddenly shouted. "Fireswan, where'd you get this guy anyway?"

I dunno I just made him up. I do have an over active imagination you know.

"Where do ya come from, announcer-dude?"

"The name's Zeke. Zeke M... Mo..... Mor....."

"JUST SAY IT!"

"NO! IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING!"

Listen, I'm the author. I can make horrible things happen to you. I MADE THIS CHAPTER WITHOUT ANYTHING FUNNY IN IT SO FAR (I think) AND SO NOW, AT THE CLIMAX, YOU WON'T OBEY LING! YOUR GOING STRAIGHT TO LEE IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP AND ANSWER LING!

"Ok ok.... My name...is.... Zeke Moron! WWAAAHHHH!!"

"Zeke WHAT?"

"Zeke *sniffle* Moron. M-O-R-O-N..... *sob*"

"BWA HA HA HA HA!"

Everyone ROTFLMAO for a time, then Ling says, "Do you ever appear on Dragon Ball Z?"

"Yes, but I was the guy who said 'Coming up on the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z'. I also played the part of Lee Jordon in 'Harry Potter'."

"I see the resemblance."

"Yeah, well, I've been lying to you."

"WHATEVER FOR?"

"Well, ya see, my name really is Lee Jordon. I just wanted to hide my identity, so I changed my name to sound more french. Zee Mordon. Unfortunetly, as 'zee' means 'the' in french, and the word 'moron' sounds very much like 'mordon' in french. I soon got the nickname 'the moron', which my name literally meant in french. So I changed my name to something more American, which is Zeke Monroe. Sadly, the pen I wrote my new name with didn't work very well, so my name came out as Zeke Moron."

"Umm, Zeke, what would your full name be?"

"Well, I never change my middle name, so do you mean the American version of my name?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"It's Marilyn. Zeke Marilyn Monroe."

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Several people need to be taken to hospital after ROTFLMAO because they laughed so hard that they did really LMAO.

Ok, author getting pissed here! GET OFF THE ARENA/STAGE/WHATEVER YOU BLOODY WELL CALL IT!

The announcer slouches off, and the battle begins.

"It's only fair that you go first Jin, as I have already gone first the last time I whipped your @$$ in the park." Ling said.

"Fine with me." Jin answered. He started off with his Double Chamber Punch, and kept using that attack to until Ling looked pretty beat up.

Ling got up from the floor when Jin had stopped punching her, and sweep- kicked (Come on! Sweep Kicks are easy to do! Fine, I'll tell you! Hold Down and press X) him onto the ground.

While he was getting up, Ling used her Thunder Strike move to Jin. Jin fell backwards, and Ling used an attack which I don't know what it's called but you have to press Up+Square+Triangle repetitively. Now Jin's health was about the same as Ling's, and she was about to do a final sweep kick, when Jin quickly got up and kicked Ling square in the chest.

Ling cried out in pain and fell backwards. She tried to get up, but slumped again down on the floor. The last thing she saw was Jin running towards her, a pained expression laced with compassion on his face, and the words "JIN KAZAMA WINS!" ringing in her ears....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ok, we're back with... umm... what's this show called again? Well, it doesn't matter, as we go to our host... err..... What's-his-face, for an interview with Daniel Radcliffe!"

So, Daniel--

"I'm not Daniel! My name is Harry Potter, and I'm on the lookout for the horrible Goblin of Gryffindor!"

Uh, sorry folks, we have here a case of fictional character syndrome. That's where the actor gets so carried away by the role they are playing, that they actually start to think they are the character.

"Oh no! The horrible Goblin of Gryffindor has arrived, but I'll use my 'Krusio', ie. 'Kroosio' spell on it (that's one of those 3 forbidden spells you learn about in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' that, once performed on someone, does what Doctor B.'s Brain Drain move does)!"

Wow, your spell looks alot like Doctor B.'s Brain Drain move (told ya so :P).

*At that moment cries of "Look out! Doctor B.'s out of his cage again just like he was in chapter 5!" can be heard across the studio*

*Doctor B. notices Daniel Radcliffe/Harry Potter and yells "How could you copy my move! You shall pay!"*

*At this moment, the faithful old (don't call me old!) [I can call you whatever I want cause I'm the author so shut up!] camera man comes onto the scene, and quickly swings the camera around to where fireswan sits with the host, What's-his-face (What's-his-face is meant to be a purely humerous name) [Yeah, I know, but seeing as you don't have a real name, I shall call you What's-his-face from now on...] (NNNNOOOO!!!)*

"Ok, so I pay you seventy-five percent of my wages if you feed my family?"

Yeah, that's the master plan!

"It seems to me that I get the easy job."

Not really, ya see, I'm a real life character, and your not, so all I have to do is type something like this... *food appears before What's-his-face's family* and the food appears.

"No fair!"

Listen, I'm the author, I make the rules!

"Fine! ME SIF NIGH MARE (a little phrase I made up to make people wonder what it means. The information you are about to receive is top secret, and totally confidental. It means 'See if I care!')!"

HA HA!

"Now, tell me fireswan, how DID you come up with the idea for the dojo treasurer and BB?"

I'll never tell you! You'll never know till the next chapter! MWA HA HA HA HA! *cough cough* Oh no! Getting weaker.... School growing stronger..... Going to die..... MUST HAVE MORE HOLIDAYS..... CHOKING..... NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION..... YOU STILL WON'T FIND OUT.... TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER.... MWA HA HA-- *cough cough*

Good old camera man: We'll be right back after these important messages.... AND STOP CALLING ME OLD!

Fireswan: *cough cough* But your 53!

Good old camera man: Good point.....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry to all the Harry Potter fans out there who were insulted. And the author accepts no responsibility for emotional or physical trauma which has been brought on by YOU reading HER story, including vomiting with excitement, pissing-your-pants with excitement, and pooing-your-pants with excitement. No hard feelings :D. The author has completely forgot her disclaimers in several chapters, so from now on she may put a disclaimer in, but only for humerous reasons.