I Lant Vain En Thalion - The Hero's First Fall

The next morning she was feeling strong enough to dress herself and go for a walk as the Sun began to rise. Calina picked up the drawing Legolas had done for her and asked to be taken to the nearest workshop, as such a drawing needed a suitable frame. If the carpenters were surprised to see her they did not say it, word must have spread fast. Calina sat down and set about choosing her wood. She could not cut it herself, for that she asked for help, but she did all the carving herself. Calina chose a pattern of the birch leaves of her family and the beech leaves of her home. The leaves grew out of the wood and entwined themselves into four sides of a frame. Calina worked fast and by lunchtime she was finished. She returned to her room because there was an agreement to all have a late lunch together in Legolas' rooms which had been made the day before. Soon after she was back Verlat came to help her there and Calina was grateful because the work had tired her out and she was feeling fairly drawn and hungry.

She had not been to Legolas' chambers before. He had a set of rooms so in fact he never really had to leave them if he did not want to. A substantial meal was set out on the dining table in one of his rooms and the others were already seated. Legolas seemed more cheerful that morning, but Lineil seemed fairly grumpy. Mineta and Nithin were engaged in a war of words over something or other, but then did seem to fight like cat and dog. Verlat helped her into a chair by Legolas who was busy laughing at Mineta and Nithin. He leaned over and whispered to her, "It is not really that funny. They have been in love for hundreds of years but are too pig- headed to do anything about it. It is incredibly infuriating." she smiled, not really too surprised. She had had the same inclination herself.

They all began to help themselves to food and the men started to discuss a forthcoming archery competition. Now that relations with Lothlórien had been re-established archers were coming from there to compete as well. Verlat was unsure of the standard of the competition,

"But how do we know they will not be better than us? Legolas you said yourself that the bows and arrows of the Golden Wood were of a much higher standard than ours." Legolas interrupted,

"Which is why we are all going to be issued with standard bows at the beginning. Any refinements we make are up to us. This is a competition of skill, not of who has the better tools. The honour of Eryn Lasgalen is at stake gentlemen and we must all play our part." This seemed to quieten Verlat and gave Legolas a chance to address Lineil,

"Lineil, you are very quiet today. Got out of the wrong side of bed?"

"Forgive me if I am troubled by things greater than sport," she said scathingly and then looked away. Legolas frowned, but continued eating and questioned her no more. Lunch passed and Calina kept looking for opportunities to mention to Legolas that she wanted to speak to him alone, but every time she tried to address him in any way, shape or form Lineil would interrupt; her thoughts were obviously not as engrossing as she made out. It must not have been as obvious to everyone as to her because the interruptions were followed by a brief malicious smile of satisfaction in Calina's direction, which gave her the distinct impression that Lineil wanted to make sure she knew that Legolas was hers and she wanted Calina to have no part in his life. It was not as if she was trying to take over. She was grateful to Legolas but that was that. She could not for the life of her see why she was so determined to mark him as her own unless she saw her as some sort of threat.

Having said that, as much as she wanted to sort things with Lineil, Legolas was completely oblivious to it all and stood up after the meal was cleared and said, "Calina, I will take you back to your room if you would like." She had become rather tired from all her exertions that day and she would have been grateful for the time to lie down before dinner that evening so she accepted his offer. Lineil scraped back her chair and left the room without saying goodbye to anyone, but Legolas did not notice, as he was too busy picking Calina up.

She waited until they had left the room and were in the quiet of the lengthy corridor before saying, "Legolas there is something in my room I want to show you. Will you stay for a moment?" He replied that he had a few moments before he was due to begin some discussions with his father and the Captains of the Forest. She had forgotten he was a prince and of course he would have duties to perform and said it could wait, but he insisted that it would not be a problem. They reached her room and she made him sit down on her small couch while she stumbled her way over to the drawer she had left the picture in. Halfway there she slipped and Legolas caught her just before she hit the floor. He deposited her on the bed and said,

"Why do you not let me fetch whatever it is? Calina what have you been doing to exhaust yourself too much? Do I need to send you back to the Healers for compulsory bed rest because if you carry on like this you will never get any better." She sighed and said,

"Look in the top drawer in that chest. There is something in there wrapped in some red material. Bring it here." Legolas did as he was bid and placed the package on her lap and sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked at his expectant face and then she said, "This is for you. I wanted to say thank you, but I could not find the right words to express quite how much.." And she trailed off. Calina passed Legolas what was on her lap. He reached under to material to grasp what was hidden and then pushed the fabric off. He looked at what was in his hands and was silent for a long time. Calina began to get worried, "Do you not like it? I am sorry, I thought you would be pleased." Tears came to her eyes. His hand moved to her face and wiped the first tear that had begun to roll down her cheek. In a hoarse voice he said,

"It is beautiful. I love it. Do not cry. Please?" He leant down so he could look into her eyes, "Please Calina, do not cry. This is a wonderful gift. I am sure your father would be proud of you." At this she smiled, imagining what her father would have said over her shoulder as she had been working on it. Probably something about the waste of wood, or perhaps the slight irregularity in the size of the leaves. "Thank you, Calina," and he placed his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him, "I have to go now," he said, "I want you to get some rest while I am gone. I will be back in a couple of hours." Calina nodded in reply.

She slept in fits that afternoon. Calina did not know what it was that troubled her dreams, but something was. She was woken in the late afternoon by Telina, her maid. She had run her a bath and laid out another dress for her. Calina was pleased to see it was not quite as revealing as the night before. Telina prattled away to her while she tried to fix Calina's hair,

"No that will not do, it is too loose." She twisted the hair another way, "No, that is the wrong line for the dress. Hmm how about this way? No that will come undone in the dancing." Calina was surprised,

"Dancing? Why would there be dancing tonight?"

"It is the end of the summer festival my lady," she said, astonished that she had not remembered,

"It seems I have lost track of time somewhat." She had completely forgotten about it. "Telina, do not worry about my hair. I do not think I shall dance tonight, I am too tired."

"Very well my lady. I shall just get it off your face though so it does not get in your way."

"Thank you Telina."

When she had been at home with her family, they had never really celebrated any of the festivals, they were too busy, but one thing her father had made sure of was that they knew all the steps to the court dances. He had grown up in much less isolation than his daughter and spent his early years quite near to the Halls so consequentially he had been surrounded by such things as a young elf. Calina had lost interest in dancing as she had grown up. It was fun when she was little, pretending with her friends that they were in court with the lords and ladies and dressed up in wonderful trailing dresses, but that phase quickly past and she put her efforts into more important things, such as the family business. However, even though she was only just over 700 years old, it had been a long time since she had stopped pretending and she wondered if she could still remember the dances. Calina had little time to panic though because there was a knock at the door. Telina answered it for her and there stood Legolas' cousin, Garin. He bowed slightly and said,

"My lady Calina, I was wondering if you would do me the honour of allowing me to escort you to the festival." Calina was flattered and rose to find her slippers. Telina was snapped out of her daze at seeing another member of the royal household in her lady's chambers and fetched them from a small box on her bed. She bent down to put them on Calina's feet, but Garin rushed over and said, "Here let me." And slowly he slid the slippers onto her feet. Then he offered her an arm to lean on and they walked slowly from the room.

He spoke to her of the court traditions for the festival. There was to be no formal dinner, just a sort of buffet while musicians played and people danced. Calina did not have to dance if she did not want to because there would be plenty of chairs about for her to rest in. Garin walked her into the Hall and she was shocked by its transformation from the night before. The blossom carpet had been swept up and the green grass underneath stood out against the autumn colours above. The overnight change was quite alarming in some ways. Calina was even more astonished that she had been the day before. Garin stopped at the top of the steps into the room so she could survey her surroundings and look for somewhere to sit. Calina spotted Verlat, Nithin and Mineta in deep conversation on one side of the room and suggested they make their way over there. Garin smiled politely and led her through the crowds of people. The three of them looked surprised to see her with Garin when she sat down. Garin went to fetch her a drink and Mini said,

"I thought you would be coming with Legolas tonight." Calina frowned and said,

"What makes you think that? We never discussed it. I had completely forgotten about the festival till Telina reminded me while I was dressing this evening."

"Oh," said Verlat slightly surprised, "I see." Garin had come back and so the conversation came to an end. Instead the topic went back to something they had been discussing over lunch. There was something distinctly chilled in the way everyone spoke to Garin. He seemed perfectly amiable to Calina though, a considerate partner that evening who always made sure she had a drink and never pressed her to dance. Soon after they had sat down once more, Nithin spotted Legolas on the other side of the room. He stood up saying,

"I think I had better go and speak to Legolas." Verlat and Mineta nodded in agreement, murmuring something about that being a very good idea and preparing him for a shock. Calina watched as they had a quick conversation at the side of the dance floor. Legolas' face was like a thundercloud and there were many looks in her direction and hand gestures. Nithin placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder and it seemed to calm him somewhat. Legolas made one last glance in Calina's direction which happened to be as Garin was saying something to her, and then went to speak to his father. Nithin joined Legolas and Thranduil and finally Verlat and Mineta made their excuses and went to join them. Calina frowned and tried to begin to pay attention to Garin again. He was talking about his family when he spotted Lineil entering the Hall,

"Oh look there is Lineil." He waved slightly and she saw her smile genuinely for the first time that day, but she too walked over to Legolas and Thranduil and did not even say hello. The evening began to follow a pattern. Garin would talk at her, but she would watch the dancers or listen to the music. There were long periods of silence between them and eventually she got bored and asked to be taken to bed. Again, Garin escorted her in a very gentlemanly manner and left her in Telina's capable hands. Calina was soon asleep reliving her memories of dancing as a child with one of her brothers or maybe a friend while her father called out corrections in her steps from a stool on one side of the room.

The next morning she was tired and decided to remain in bed. Calina half expected Legolas to come and see her and give her a reprimand for letting herself get too tired again, but he did not appear. By lunch time she was feeling rested enough to go and get herself some food. Calina walked slowly down the corridors and there he was walking straight towards her. She smiled as they approached each other, but he did not return it. Legolas went to go straight past her without speaking, but she caught his arm as he went past and said,

"Legolas, why do you not talk to me. You did not even say hello last night at the festival."

"If you are feeling lonely, why do you not go and talk to Garin. I am sure he will entertain you." Was the cold reply she got. Calina stared down the passage after him, frankly quite shocked by what he had said. Calina could not see what had changed and she could not understand what he held against his cousin.

She ate by herself and returned to her room that afternoon. Calina picked up a book that was in one of the many shelves and began to read it. It was an elvish novel, nothing exciting and certainly not of literary importance, but it was enough of a distraction from the buzz of questions in her mind. Calina listed them in her head when she found she could not divert her attention anymore.

What could she possibly have done to upset Lineil? What had happened between Legolas, Garin and the others for them to hate him with such ferocity? Why did her friendship with Garin seem to affect Legolas so much?

Telina walked back into her room to hang up some of her clothes and she decided to question her as to what she knew of the relationships within the royal circle,

"Tell me Telina, what do you know of the enmity between Legolas and his cousin Garin?" Telina turned round to face Calina with a pained expression on her face. It was obvious she knew something, "Please, sit down and tell me of it. I am caught up in the middle of the two and yet I do not know what happened between them." Telina sighed and then sat down on a low stool across the room from her and began,

"There used to be six friends, Prince Legolas and five others. Lineil, Verlat, Nithin, Mineta and Rareth, the daughter of one of the relations of the Queen before she died. Garin was in love with Rareth and asked her to go on a walk with him into the forest. This was at a time when the dark forces in the wood were multiplying and it was very dangerous for them to leave the safety of the palace. Rareth was not sure it was a good idea, and against the council of the others who were there as well. All the same, Garin managed to persuade her to come with him. They had been gone many hours when Garin made it back to the Halls. They had been attacked by spiders. The body of lady Rareth was never found, but a small ring she carried on a chain was found several days later entangled in a spider's web along with the remains of her clothing. It was a very sad event for all involved. The Prince and the others blamed Garin for not taking their advice and for bringing about the death of a beloved friend, and to Legolas, a much-loved relation. This was about a hundred years or so ago, long enough for a grudge to still be held."

Calina was silent while she considered what she had heard. Telina rose and left her on her own to think. As the Sun began to sink beneath the tree line and she dressed for dinner she was still deep in thought. Calina could understand the anger they all felt for Garin, but to hold a grudge for so long. She did not know the answer, but by making one friend she was losing five and if she stayed friends with the five, she could not speak to the one.

No one came to escort her to dinner that night, so she made her way on her own, shuffling down the walls of the many corridors to the Hall. There was a flight of steps she had to climb up and so she took her time to do them. Halfway up she stumbled and trod on the hem of her dress. It sent her cascading back down the way she had come. Calina hit her head on the stone floor and the world began to blur and spin. A face started to form above her. Lineil. Calina reached up to her for help, but she swept away and up the stairs to dinner. Calina passed out cold.

When she woke up again, there were stars of light around her. Calina thought she had entered the Halls of Mandos to await the end of Arda, but gradually the rest of the world around the points of light came into focus. The wax of the candles, the stands they were in, the furniture they were placed on and finally the people around her. Calina had been carried back to the Healers and laid in her former bed. Around the bed were gathered Legolas, Mineta and Nithin and also one of the Healers who had attended her whilst she had been ill. Her head throbbed and it was painful to keep her eyes open. Calina moved her hand to her head and groaned. There was a mass sigh of relief from the room. Her hand was taken and moved back from her face. Warm comforting lips kissed its palm, which she laid across that elf's cheek, "My head," the words barely came out of her mouth. Calina was bid to be quiet by the Healer, "It hurts, it hurts." Her voice was coming back to her now and she began to move about in the bed, trying to get away. The quiet voice of Legolas spoke softly into her ear and calmed her down,

"Calina, be still and we will help you. Be calm and we shall serve your needs. Rest now and your trials will soon be at an end." Calina sighed deeply and sank back down into her pillow. A cool cloth was placed on her forehead and the throbbing began to still to a dull ache. The Healer then spoke,

"We must keep her awake, for another hour or so at least so she does not lapse back into the eternal sleep." The three friends nodded, "It is very important. Do not be afraid to shake her awake. Small bumps are nothing to an eternity spent locked in one's own mind. If you can last till this candle burns out then I have no doubts as to her recovery." A time candle was lit next to her bed. It would burn down in two hours. Calina did not know how she could stay awake till then. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and fall asleep. Her eyelids fluttered down, but before they reached the bottom there was a sharp shake of her shoulders and Nithin woke her up. Legolas spoke,

"Calina, the only way to keep you awake is for you to talk. If we tell stories to you then it is likely that you will fall asleep. Do you understand?" She forced her mouth open to reply,

"Yes. Yes I do. But I do not know what I will speak to you of."

"Why do we not all sing instead?" suggested Mineta,

"Yes, I can do that," Calina said. "Choose a long song though." They decided upon on the of the old songs, stories of bygone ages, stories of the desperation of their people against the old evils and stories of the strength of love.

With some difficulty at first, and then with more and more strength in her voice as the pain in her head left her and the moisture came back to her mouth, she sung with the others. Legolas had a tight hold on her hand, almost squeezing her fingers into his. That was a constant reminder that she had to hang on because if she let go for one moment then that would possibly be her last second awake until the end of Arda. Once or twice her attention wavered and someone would shake her leg or arm and bring her back. As she sung she watched the candle burn down and as it finally got to the bottom and the flame was extinguished she knew she could close her eyes and give into the sleep that her body ached for. Calina closed her eyes and heard the other three voices finish the verse they sang. She heard Mineta and Nithin leave, but Legolas still held onto her hand.

He was still holding it the next morning when she woke up with his head resting on her stomach while his body was deep in sleep. Calina shifted her body slightly to rest his head in a more comfortable position. His face was turned towards hers and she watched his peaceful face as he slowly breathed in and out. Calina realised this must have been what it was like for him to watch her during her first stay with the Healers. The door banged shut in the breeze loudly and Legolas stirred, "Calina?"

"I am here Legolas. Thank you for staying." He sat up and stretched,

"My pleasure. I did not mean to fall asleep though, just in case."

"Did you not listen to the Healer?" Calina said teasingly,

"Yes, but, well, you never know. I just wanted to be sure."

"Well thank you Legolas." Calina paused for a second, "Legolas, could I ask you a question? You do not have to answer it if you do not want to, and you have every right to tell me it is none of her business, but I think it is important." He smiled at her,

"Of course. We are friends, I will answer all your questions."

"Very well, but you may not like what I have to ask." Calina took a deep breath as he looked expectantly at her, "Legolas, I know about what happened between you and Garin when Rareth died. Why do you still hold it against him?" Legolas let go of her hand and looked somewhat shocked,

"How did you find out?"

"I asked my maid Telina yesterday. I could not stand being caught in the middle of something I did not understand. Please, I do not mean to drag up the past, merely to understand it." There was a silence and Calina heard the rustling of things in the room as the breeze blew through. Finally Legolas spoke in a low, almost wistful voice,

"Rareth was a distant cousin of mine on my mother's side, but her parents left for the West when she was very young. My mother brought her to the Halls to live with us and she became like a younger sister to me. She fell in love with Garin, and we were all happy for them. There was talk that they were soon to be married. We were all sitting in my rooms when Garin announced that he was going for a walk and wanted Rareth to come with him. We tried to stop him, there had been spider activity close to the Halls and it was not safe for people to go about unprotected. Verlat, Nithin and I all volunteered to go as well, to protect them, but Garin was having none of it, and despite all our misgivings, Rareth decided to go with him. We were all incredibly worried and I had just decided to go and speak to my father about what had happened when Garin burst in, clothes torn to shreds, cuts and bruises everywhere, but Rareth was not with him. Immediately a search party was sent to look for her. I went with them. Calina she was like my little sister, I felt as if I had failed as a brother not being able to keep her safe. Three days later, amongst a deserted spider trap I found some remains of her clothes. She used to wear her mother's wedding ring on a chain around her neck. I found that too. I have never been able to forgive Garin. If he had not been so pig-headed, insisting he was able to fight the giant spiders on his own, then Rareth would still be here. Every time I see him with you I.." Legolas broke off,

"Tell me Legolas, every time you see me with Garin,"

"I remember all that happened and I do not want it to happen again to you. Garin is very cunning, a terrible trait for an elf, and he has taken a fancy to you I am sure and he will get what he wants from you at all costs." Calina was taken aback by such an accusation to his cousin,

"Legolas, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you need not worry about me." Calina said it gently so as not to sound affronted,

"You used to be able to. Calina, you are weakened, possibly permanently, and so you cannot do all the things for yourself that you wish. Do not be upset that I said that. You know it to be true even if you will not admit to it. I know you grew up in the wood and I know that you would have learnt to be safe there, but without all your strength how can you be sure? Calina as your friend I would council you not to let yourself fall in love with Garin any further and to expend your energy on getting well again rather than your own short-term pleasure." Calina was quick to anger,

"How dare you! You have no right to meddle in my affairs in such a way and that is a rather large assumption to make do you not think? The closest Garin has been to my bed was seeing me in through the door over there. I cannot believe you would think me capable of such an act, taking an elf to bed who I hardly knew at all. Garin treats me like a normal elf, not something that would break if anyone laid a finger on it. I do not need to be wrapped up in cotton wool Legolas so I suggest you leave now." Calina sat there and stared deep into his eyes. They were aflame. All his emotions were there - anger, relief, hurt, and a strange sort of pleasure. He stood and left without saying another word and she was left to think about all that had happened.

That afternoon she resolved to leave the Halls and move back into the forest as soon as she could.