I Gwannad - The Leaving

As soon as she made her decision to leave Calina realised there were certain obstacles in the way, Legolas and money, being two of them. He was not going to like what she had to do, but there was not much he could do about it as she saw it. He could hardly order her to be kept in the Halls against her wishes. The Healers finally deemed her fit enough to leave in mid afternoon and then she went to the family bankers just to see how to overcome obstacle number two. It seemed as if they knew she was coming. The family details were all to hand when she entered their premises. Calina was taken completely by surprise when she found out that she would have enough money to buy her own little flet, furnish it, and then do the whole thing again another three or four times. It seemed her father had been saving for many years and amassed a considerable fortune in the process. That settled it, she was leaving Halls for her own new home. Calina did not like to leave, but then she did not like to her treated as a glass object, which needed constant protection or as a toy to be played with when people felt like it.

She was still angry with Legolas for what he said and so she refused dinner that night, preferring to eat off a tray in her room. Afterwards, there was a knock at the door. Calina expected it to be Legolas wanting to start round two, but in fact it was Lineil. She sat herself down across from her at the table without invitation to and spoke,

"Listen Calina, I am not going to beat about the bush. Stay away from Legolas. He is mine" Calina was just a little confused by this,

"Excuse me?" She said, "I did not know he was yours to possess." Lineil faltered in her argument,

"He was mine, and although he is not now, he will be again. That is the nature of our relationship but the next time we get back together I will make sure it is forever and anyone that gets in the way, well, let us say it would not be a pretty sight."

"Which is why you left me unconscious the other night." Calina slipped in. Lineil simply glared back, "Well Lineil, it looks like you shall get your wish. I am leaving." Calina stood up. "This place is too petty for me and full of stuck-up, upper class people who think that just because I grew up in the forest and have learnt to carve rather than how to simper to the royal family that I am somehow lesser than they are and am not capable of living my own life. I am not a toy to be played with or fought over and I am not something that needs protection either. So rejoice in your triumph Lineil, I am leaving. I wish you and Legolas all the luck in the world." And then Calina showed her the door. She did not want to look into that smirking face ever again.

News about her leaving travelled slowly by Halls standards and she had already chosen a small flet in one of the towns a couple of hours ride from the Halls. Calina furnished it with second, or often third or fourth, hand goods that her family had made. She decided she would recover better in a place where she was fully comfortable than in the palace where she spent half her day confused and the rest angry or exhausted.

A few days before she was due to leave she had arranged an audience with Thranduil so she could inform him of her intentions and thank him for his kindness. Calina was nervous as she stood outside the throne room. It was not every day you had to tell the king you were leaving his home, she just hoped he did not ask her why. Calina had not seen Legolas during the three weeks since they had fought. She still could not believe what he had accused her of. It was like a slap round the face to her, a wake up to all that was wrong with the snobbery of the upper class. She did not belong in the Halls and she knew that the best thing to do would be to leave.

Her presence was announced to Thranduil and Calina was shown into a grand- looking room. It was decorated lavishly and Thranduil sat on a gold throne at one end. He smiled indulgently at Calina and she went forward and curtseyed to her ruler. As she straightened her knees and looked up she noticed another royal member seated in the room. Legolas sat next to his father. Calina looked away in disgust and concentrated her attention on his father and getting out as soon as possible. Thranduil spoke,

"Calina, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

"Your highness, I have come to thank you for all your kindness and generosity since I have been here, but I think it is time that I took leave of you and returned to the forest."

"Oh," said Thranduil, "Are you not happy here?"

"I think it is time that I leave and begin to put my life in order. I cannot rely on the kindness of others forever." Calina was avoiding looking at Legolas. She did not want to see what his eyes were saying at that moment,

"Very well, if that is what you wish. Where will you go?"

"I have bought a flet a few hours from here and furnished it."

"It sounds like you are all prepared to leave. Can we delay your departure by a few more days? I know Legolas would like to spend time with you before you leave." Calina did not know how to reply to that. She finally let her gaze wander onto Legolas looking for inspiration. His face was consorted into a strange expression, like he was trying to hold something in that was threatening to burst out at the most inopportune time. Calina thought he was about to say something alluding to her behaviour with his cousin,

"I think it is best that I go soon," was all she could manage under Thranduil's fierce gaze,

"You seem resolved. Very well. It has been a pleasure having you here Calina. If ever there is anything you need, please, do not be afraid to contact someone here." Calina curtseyed once more,

"Thank you your highness. That is very kind of you. I also want to offer your son congratulations for the happy forthcoming event." She did not know where that had come from. Bitterness? Who knows? But Calina turned and left Thranduil looking suspiciously at his son and Legolas utterly confused. He excused himself and left the throne room. Returning to his apartment, he bumped into Lineil and Mineta,

"Did you know Calina was leaving?" he demanded,

"Yes," Mineta admitted, "but we thought you knew too. It is common knowledge. She has been planning it for weeks. Have you not spoken to her?"

"No," Legolas admitted, "I cannot believe you did not tell me. Lineil, how long have you known?"

"Not long," she lied, " Legolas I am sorry, but she is only a carpenter's daughter. She is of no consequence in the long term of things. Come let us go and calm you down." She took Legolas by the arm to tried and lead him away,

"No," he said sharply and pulled away. Mineta looked at them both, knowing very well that Lineil had known for much longer than anyone else, and had told Mineta the news first. "I must speak to her." However as he went to Calina's chambers and hammered on the door Calina was mounting a horse in the stables and setting out to her new home.

That evening as Calina was settling back comfortably in a chair in her cosy warm flet, completely content, Legolas was busy pacing one of his rooms. Nithin, Mineta, Lineil and Verlat were all sitting on various chairs and couches around the room watching him,

"Legolas please, sit down you are making me dizzy," said Lineil, but Legolas failed to hear. He was walking about muttering to himself,

"What did she mean? What was it?" He was nearest Verlat at this point, who said,

"What did she say Legolas? Tell us and maybe we can help." But Legolas again ignored him. Finally he stopped pacing and there was a sigh of relief from all present, until he said,

"I do not know. If only there was someone who did." And the idea came him. Legolas flew from the room and ran down the corridors, turning this way and that. He stormed into one room without knocking and disturbed the people inside. Legolas finally collected himself and said, "Uncle, I am sorry to barge in like this, but it is urgent. Where is Garin? I must talk to him." His uncle looked astonished at his nephew, but replied automatically,

"He is in the stables grooming his horse. He took a friend to her new home. Very pretty that one, slightly strange, and quiet, but very pretty." Legolas was gone. He raced down to the stables. Garin was grooming, singing quietly to himself. Legolas walked up to him and slammed him into the wall. His arm pressed into Garin's collarbone as Legolas held his cousin against the wall,

"Where is she?" Legolas growled out, "I know you took her there. Your father told me so."

"I am not allowed to say," protested Garin, but he was pushed harder against the wall, "She said I was not to tell you but she never said why. Legolas, I swear that is the truth. What did you do to her? It should be me attacking you, do you not think." Legolas growled and spat out,

"If you laid a finger on her, you disgusting excuse of an elf..." But Garin was spared the rest of Legolas' threat as Verlat and Nithin hauled Legolas off Garin, who slid down the wall,

"What in the name of Elbereth are you doing Legolas?" But Legolas just looked in disgust at Garin on the floor and left. Lineil ran after him.

Legolas was wandering in the woods around the Halls. He did not want to be found and it took all of Lineil's skills to find him. She eventually caught him sitting high in a tree gazing out across his father's kingdom. He could see small bunches of flets gathered together, forming the villages and towns of Eryn Lasgalen. Lineil climbed silently up behind him although Legolas must have heard her because he said,

"Leave me." Lineil placed her hand on his shoulder,

"What is so different about her that leaves you drawing pictures and watching her sleep Legolas? She is no different from any other girl in the village you have taken a fancy to before. This will pass, you will have forgotten about her soon enough. Do not cause yourself unnecessary pain by sitting here and dwelling on it." She said speaking from experience, but also from the desperate want of Legolas, the yearning inside of her.

"You never could understand things beyond thinking of yourself. Leave me Lineil." Desperately hurt, she climbed down the tree and went back to the Halls.

Over the next few days, Legolas thought a lot and made a resolution that affected the lives of so many for so long. He decided to go travelling again with Gimli. A message had reached him from Erebor saying that Gimli was resolved to go to the Glittering Caves with some dwarves and work there to improve on the natural glory of the place. He invited Legolas to go along because he also had the task of building the new gates for the White City and of course the King Elessar wished to see his friends. Thranduil was upset that his son was leaving again so soon and pressed him to stay, but Legolas would not hear him. As a father, Thranduil had been concerned for his son ever since he heard that Calina was leaving, indeed Thranduil knew of it before Calina had told him, but he never mentioned it to Legolas. It was not his job to interfere. Eventually Thranduil turned to Legolas' friends in desperation to keep him at home for at least a short time more. Finally Lineil tried to keep him home,

"Legolas, why do you leave again so soon? Anyone would think you would prefer the company of a dwarf to that of your own people who are your friends."

"Not everyone who wasn't born in these Halls is a bad person, Lineil." Legolas said softly whilst staring out of his window, "You just have to look for the good in people, and when you find it, then you know you have a friend for life, even if theirs is finite." He turned to look at her,

"I wish you would not go. Legolas, please stay, please stay for me." Her eyes pleaded with him, "I could not stand it if you went away again, not knowing if you were going to come back."

"I did not know you cared so much," he said coldly and turned back to watch the outside world. She took hold of his arm to shake him to his senses. Her voice was high and desperate,

"I have always cared, can you not see that? Legolas all I want is you. That is all I ever wanted. I would do anything for you. I even.." And she stopped short before her mouth ran away with her. It was too late, she had betrayed herself,

"You even what?" She now had Legolas' full attention. His gaze was fixed on hers, piercing her mind, trying to perceive what she had done. His voice was hard and cold, but Lineil's wavered,

"Nothing. I meant nothing by it."

"Do not lie to me Lineil. Tell me what it is you have done." She shook her head at him, her eyes full of tears. He took her by the shoulders and shook her, "Tell me what you have done," he shouted at her. Lineil cried out,

"Stop it Legolas. Stop it!" She had never experienced the anger that boiled below his surface, the anger that gave him the sense of danger she loved so much about him, "I will tell you." She sniffed and sat down out of Legolas' reach, "When you love something so much you would do anything to protect it. It becomes like an obsession. When you brought that girl to the palace, I saw you care for her as you had once cared for me, and I became scared. I wanted to keep you as my own. I asked your cousin to help me. He hates you Legolas for turning people against him after Rareth's death. I asked him to make Calina fall in love with him. If she were in love with him, your coming back to me again would be almost certain. You would not be able to have her, but I would be willing to be your second best. Garin did his job, and he did it well, but even he did not foresee the one thing that almost secured it. I saw her fall, and walked by as she reached out to me. I wanted her to die. I wanted her to fall into an eternal sleep so that you would still be mine. But in the end Legolas, it was you who sent her away was it not? Garin tells me you hurt her enough to send her away. It was a perfect plan. It would still be a perfect plan if had not chosen a dwarf over me." She said the last part with such disgust. Legolas stared at her, unable to say anything. He looked at her sadly, not angry, just resigned and then said,

"The last time we ended our relationship it was for good Lineil. I explained that to you at the time. You are not the elf I once loved and nor am I the elf you first loved." His voice rose, as he spoke, "You are not the elf I first cared for. The elf I knew would never knowingly trick those she counted as friends. I cannot believe you did that. You took away something that I was only beginning to understand the power of and for that I will never be able to forgive you. I am too weary to be angry now. I am to leave in the morning. I suggest you leave me now to finish my preparations."

Legolas left early the next morning. His father, Verlat, Nithin and Mineta saw him off. Thranduil stayed watching until his son was out of even his powerful sight. The farewell was painful to many. No one knew what had passed between Legolas and Lineil, but she was heart-broken, that much was obvious. She had remained locked in her room since she had last spoken to Legolas and even her brother, Verlat, could not convince her to leave her solitude.

Meanwhile, in the quiet of her new village, Calina was settling in. It was a much bigger settlement that she was used to, but gradually she made friends with the elves around her and she finally decided to begin work again. She would not make the furniture that her father had once made; she could not face trying to attempt to copy his work. Instead, she concentrated on smaller works for the home, picture frames being one of the major lines she excelled in. As her father before her, Calina's work was well recognised for its skill and style. The Birches of Beechgrove name was once again alive.

About three months after she had begun working, so about five since she had left the palace Calina received a letter from the Halls. It was from Garin asking after her health and to give her all the news of the people she had been acquainted with. He also complimented her on the success of her work, but it was one paragraph that caught her attention, and played in her thoughts for a long time:

Lineil has decided to sail West. Her heart can no longer stand the call. Legolas is also gone. His heart does not rest in the woods anymore.

They must have sailed together, Calina thought. So Lineil had won in the end. Calina was disappointed. She wondered how an elf like Legolas could let himself get tricked by an elf like Lineil, but after all, they were from the palace and lived very different lives from the normal village folk. Calina put the letter to one side and thought about it no more. As far as she was concerned that part of her life was over, she did not need it all to be dragged up again. Garin's letter went unanswered moving slowly down to the bottom of a drawer.