Lord of the Comrades
~
"YOU!" Gimli gasped then promptly fainted.
"That's right, me!" The figure cackled evilly and a few more people-er hobbits fainted.
"But, you're.you're.dead!" Aragorn said half slurring his words.
"No, no dear, you can't kill me and besides I never died I just went away. But I'm baaaaaack!" The voice said singing the last few words.
Galadriel stepped forward looking all powerful and intimidating.
"How dare you interrupt our party!" Galadriel accused the figure in the door.
The figure stepped into the light and was now fully visible by every single person in the room, except Gimli and all the hobbits who were still stone cold unconscious.
"I am pure evil and can do whatever I wish." The figure cackled again with evil laughter.
This time the figure had hit a soft spot with some of the villains in the room. Stepped forward, Sauron, Sarumon, Grima, Shelob, Gorbag, The Mouth of Sauron, The Nine Riders, Gollum, and Figwit.
"Figwit, wait for the good guys there buddy." Erestor pulled Figwit back out of the villainous crowd.
"Who are you to claim yourself as pure evil. You certainly can be no match for me for I am the Dark Lord Sauron, forger of the One Ring and enemy of the Free People of Middle Earth." Sauron stood facing the figure, clad in his super-sexy iron suit.
"I am.Miss Swiss and here with my trusty but not allows completely brainy sidekick Twinkles I shall dominant over all!" The figure revealed herself as the one and only creator of Lord of the Friends, director, and Supervisor of the show that all fear.
Sauron fell silent, could it be, this was the Miss Swiss standing before him in all her glory?
"Ah-ha!" Twinkles stepped forward next to Miss Swiss with her usual 'evil' air-head laugh.
"Now who's pure evil?" Miss Swiss let out the most evil of all evil laughs "MWUHAHAHAHA!"
"Yea, like that!" Twinkles giggled next to her leader.
"I- uh, that is to say..er, yea, ok." Sauron turned, there was no way he could possibly compete against that, I mean look at his 'sidekicks' they were ugly, and maybe a little smarter than Twinkles and there were more of them but certainly no match.
"That's what I though iron man!" Miss Swiss had triumphed.
~
Celebwen, Lamoo, Lei, and Lok stood watching this exchange from a safe distance in the far corner. What was this? They had never seen so many shocked faces in their life. And Lei had never been able to snatch so much ale without anyone noticing before either. Good deal whoever this Miss Swiss was!
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Lamoo grabbed Celebwen's arm and pulled her aside. "We could help Sauron and the others defeat Miss Swiss and be named cool!" Lamoo laughed happily, Oh Happy Day!
"How are we going to do that?! You just saw what happened to everyone as soon as Miss Swiss walked in! It looked as though the world had just stopped turning!" Celebwen whispered back furiously, Lamoo had really lost it this time.
"No, no it's fine, give everyone some more of Pippin and Merry's 'special' ale and we'll be fine!" Lamoo encouraged.
"Fine, fine, if we die, I'm blaming you." Celebwen nodded and headed off to fill everyone's mug with plenty of Merry and Pippin's 'special' concoction.
~
Faramir, Boromir, Eomer, and Aragorn were once again huddled in a circle.
"What are we going to do?!" Faramir asked, he was beginning to think the only thing to do was.."PANIC!!!!!!"
"Faramir!" Boromir clamped his brother's mouth shut, "Be a man would you!?"
"Sorry, Miss Swiss terrifies me! And by the way a real man can admit his fear." Faramir said, calming only slightly.
"Alright, alright so she is a little scary." Boromir agreed.
"A little scary? A little scary? If she is a little scary I don't want to even dream what terrifying is to you!" Eomer looked at Boromir as if he was crazy, oh yea, he is.
"Excuse my brother he has an ego problem, he is terrified of Miss Swiss, he just won't admit it." Faramir spoke for his brother.
Boromir just looked a little pride-hurt and went on, "We need to do something and fast."
"I AM THAT HERO!" Aragorn suddenly shouted.
"No, not this time." Eomer shook his head and Aragorn looked crestfallen, he wasn't that hero?
"You were the hero when you saved Aurie, of course now she has to hide from the dwarves though that won't be hard because they have by now probably consumed unhealthy amounts of ale and I know that Merry and Pippin will have done something to the ale by now making it at least as strong as it was when it first came in the door-" Boromir stopped, where was he? Oh yea, "This time we work as a team."
Eomer, Faramir and Aragorn all nodded, yes, 'there is no I in Team or We in Victory' or wait a minute, that's 'no Me in Victory'.
"What's our plan?' Aragorn asked a few moments of the usual men going team moments.
"Oh, let the fangirls deal with her I overheard them planning something. So we sit back wait until the fangirls are done and claim our victory!" Boromir said happily.
"Shouldn't we do our own thing and claim rightful victory though?" Faramir asked, he was confused.
Boromir, Eomer and Aragorn all though for a moment."Na."
~
Just as out trusty heroes were sitting back to watch the fangirls do their magic a long line of elven conga danced past.
With Elrond in the lead and Glorfindel right behind him, who was pulling along Lei and Lamoo who happened to grab the hem of his robe as he boogies past them, shaking his fine elven hinny in the process.
"He's mine!" Lei shouted threateningly to Lamoo as Glorfindel took another turn around a corner.
"NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!" Lamoo shouted back as she tried to pulled her shirt back down, being dragged along a dirty party floor is hard work.
"CONGA!" Galadriel shouted from somewhere in the middle of Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir and Figwit, Haldir, and Erestor.
"I never noticed how many elves were here tonight." Nori commented as the elven conga line progress farther around the room.
"Scary." Lok agreed and turned back to where he and Eowyn left off.
"So as you were saying." Lok looked at Eowyn
"I was so tired of being looked up just because I was a girl and I wanted to get out and-"
"No, before that."
"Oh, how ruggedly handsome you were?"
"I believe that was it." Eowyn smiled at Lok and let out a girlish giggle.
"There's something funny about that one there is." Gandalf whispered to Theoden.
"Who, the fan boy?" Theoden asked.
"Yes." Gandalf glared at Lok who was basking in Eowyn's attention, "I don't think he's really a fanboy."
As soon as Gandalf uttered those 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 fatal words the room went quiet.
"Not a fanboy?" Eowyn asked incredulously.
Lok looked a little frightened. "Yes, yes I am." Lok stuttered and Eowyn jumped up from where she was sitting.
"YOU TRICKED ME!" She accused.
"No! I'm really a fanboy!" Lok's eyes grew big.
"LIAR!" Lamoo shouted from somewhere where Glorfindel had stopped mid- boogey and was watching in horror the scene before him. "That's why you couldn't remember Frodo's name!" Lamoo continued.
"You couldn't remember Frodo's name!?" Miss Swiss snorted from her stand next to the door.
"Uh, I forgot?" Lok looked for the nearest exit, it was the window.
He made a mad dash for the window but Lamoo was to fast! Lamoo grabbed Lok by the shirt and swung him around to the middle of the floor.
"How dare you use a fanboy disguise as an excuse to hit on Eowyn, Arwen, and Galadriel! You little man-skank!" Lamoo gave Lok a nice punch in the mouth before she stood up, "You better run before I decide I'm not finished with you!" Lamoo narrowed her eyes and Lok scrambled to his feet and went running out the door.
"COOL!" Elladan shouted and everyone cheered, see, fanboys really are a rare an endangered species. "She's so cool!" Elladan laughed.
"I'M COOL!" Lamoo cheered, she then in turn did a little victory dance around the room and her and Aurie and Hex all did a girly group hug thing chanting "WE'RE COOL! WE'RE COOL!"
"UGH!" Lei groaned, this was wrong all very wrong!
~
~
"YOU!" Gimli gasped then promptly fainted.
"That's right, me!" The figure cackled evilly and a few more people-er hobbits fainted.
"But, you're.you're.dead!" Aragorn said half slurring his words.
"No, no dear, you can't kill me and besides I never died I just went away. But I'm baaaaaack!" The voice said singing the last few words.
Galadriel stepped forward looking all powerful and intimidating.
"How dare you interrupt our party!" Galadriel accused the figure in the door.
The figure stepped into the light and was now fully visible by every single person in the room, except Gimli and all the hobbits who were still stone cold unconscious.
"I am pure evil and can do whatever I wish." The figure cackled again with evil laughter.
This time the figure had hit a soft spot with some of the villains in the room. Stepped forward, Sauron, Sarumon, Grima, Shelob, Gorbag, The Mouth of Sauron, The Nine Riders, Gollum, and Figwit.
"Figwit, wait for the good guys there buddy." Erestor pulled Figwit back out of the villainous crowd.
"Who are you to claim yourself as pure evil. You certainly can be no match for me for I am the Dark Lord Sauron, forger of the One Ring and enemy of the Free People of Middle Earth." Sauron stood facing the figure, clad in his super-sexy iron suit.
"I am.Miss Swiss and here with my trusty but not allows completely brainy sidekick Twinkles I shall dominant over all!" The figure revealed herself as the one and only creator of Lord of the Friends, director, and Supervisor of the show that all fear.
Sauron fell silent, could it be, this was the Miss Swiss standing before him in all her glory?
"Ah-ha!" Twinkles stepped forward next to Miss Swiss with her usual 'evil' air-head laugh.
"Now who's pure evil?" Miss Swiss let out the most evil of all evil laughs "MWUHAHAHAHA!"
"Yea, like that!" Twinkles giggled next to her leader.
"I- uh, that is to say..er, yea, ok." Sauron turned, there was no way he could possibly compete against that, I mean look at his 'sidekicks' they were ugly, and maybe a little smarter than Twinkles and there were more of them but certainly no match.
"That's what I though iron man!" Miss Swiss had triumphed.
~
Celebwen, Lamoo, Lei, and Lok stood watching this exchange from a safe distance in the far corner. What was this? They had never seen so many shocked faces in their life. And Lei had never been able to snatch so much ale without anyone noticing before either. Good deal whoever this Miss Swiss was!
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Lamoo grabbed Celebwen's arm and pulled her aside. "We could help Sauron and the others defeat Miss Swiss and be named cool!" Lamoo laughed happily, Oh Happy Day!
"How are we going to do that?! You just saw what happened to everyone as soon as Miss Swiss walked in! It looked as though the world had just stopped turning!" Celebwen whispered back furiously, Lamoo had really lost it this time.
"No, no it's fine, give everyone some more of Pippin and Merry's 'special' ale and we'll be fine!" Lamoo encouraged.
"Fine, fine, if we die, I'm blaming you." Celebwen nodded and headed off to fill everyone's mug with plenty of Merry and Pippin's 'special' concoction.
~
Faramir, Boromir, Eomer, and Aragorn were once again huddled in a circle.
"What are we going to do?!" Faramir asked, he was beginning to think the only thing to do was.."PANIC!!!!!!"
"Faramir!" Boromir clamped his brother's mouth shut, "Be a man would you!?"
"Sorry, Miss Swiss terrifies me! And by the way a real man can admit his fear." Faramir said, calming only slightly.
"Alright, alright so she is a little scary." Boromir agreed.
"A little scary? A little scary? If she is a little scary I don't want to even dream what terrifying is to you!" Eomer looked at Boromir as if he was crazy, oh yea, he is.
"Excuse my brother he has an ego problem, he is terrified of Miss Swiss, he just won't admit it." Faramir spoke for his brother.
Boromir just looked a little pride-hurt and went on, "We need to do something and fast."
"I AM THAT HERO!" Aragorn suddenly shouted.
"No, not this time." Eomer shook his head and Aragorn looked crestfallen, he wasn't that hero?
"You were the hero when you saved Aurie, of course now she has to hide from the dwarves though that won't be hard because they have by now probably consumed unhealthy amounts of ale and I know that Merry and Pippin will have done something to the ale by now making it at least as strong as it was when it first came in the door-" Boromir stopped, where was he? Oh yea, "This time we work as a team."
Eomer, Faramir and Aragorn all nodded, yes, 'there is no I in Team or We in Victory' or wait a minute, that's 'no Me in Victory'.
"What's our plan?' Aragorn asked a few moments of the usual men going team moments.
"Oh, let the fangirls deal with her I overheard them planning something. So we sit back wait until the fangirls are done and claim our victory!" Boromir said happily.
"Shouldn't we do our own thing and claim rightful victory though?" Faramir asked, he was confused.
Boromir, Eomer and Aragorn all though for a moment."Na."
~
Just as out trusty heroes were sitting back to watch the fangirls do their magic a long line of elven conga danced past.
With Elrond in the lead and Glorfindel right behind him, who was pulling along Lei and Lamoo who happened to grab the hem of his robe as he boogies past them, shaking his fine elven hinny in the process.
"He's mine!" Lei shouted threateningly to Lamoo as Glorfindel took another turn around a corner.
"NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!" Lamoo shouted back as she tried to pulled her shirt back down, being dragged along a dirty party floor is hard work.
"CONGA!" Galadriel shouted from somewhere in the middle of Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir and Figwit, Haldir, and Erestor.
"I never noticed how many elves were here tonight." Nori commented as the elven conga line progress farther around the room.
"Scary." Lok agreed and turned back to where he and Eowyn left off.
"So as you were saying." Lok looked at Eowyn
"I was so tired of being looked up just because I was a girl and I wanted to get out and-"
"No, before that."
"Oh, how ruggedly handsome you were?"
"I believe that was it." Eowyn smiled at Lok and let out a girlish giggle.
"There's something funny about that one there is." Gandalf whispered to Theoden.
"Who, the fan boy?" Theoden asked.
"Yes." Gandalf glared at Lok who was basking in Eowyn's attention, "I don't think he's really a fanboy."
As soon as Gandalf uttered those 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 fatal words the room went quiet.
"Not a fanboy?" Eowyn asked incredulously.
Lok looked a little frightened. "Yes, yes I am." Lok stuttered and Eowyn jumped up from where she was sitting.
"YOU TRICKED ME!" She accused.
"No! I'm really a fanboy!" Lok's eyes grew big.
"LIAR!" Lamoo shouted from somewhere where Glorfindel had stopped mid- boogey and was watching in horror the scene before him. "That's why you couldn't remember Frodo's name!" Lamoo continued.
"You couldn't remember Frodo's name!?" Miss Swiss snorted from her stand next to the door.
"Uh, I forgot?" Lok looked for the nearest exit, it was the window.
He made a mad dash for the window but Lamoo was to fast! Lamoo grabbed Lok by the shirt and swung him around to the middle of the floor.
"How dare you use a fanboy disguise as an excuse to hit on Eowyn, Arwen, and Galadriel! You little man-skank!" Lamoo gave Lok a nice punch in the mouth before she stood up, "You better run before I decide I'm not finished with you!" Lamoo narrowed her eyes and Lok scrambled to his feet and went running out the door.
"COOL!" Elladan shouted and everyone cheered, see, fanboys really are a rare an endangered species. "She's so cool!" Elladan laughed.
"I'M COOL!" Lamoo cheered, she then in turn did a little victory dance around the room and her and Aurie and Hex all did a girly group hug thing chanting "WE'RE COOL! WE'RE COOL!"
"UGH!" Lei groaned, this was wrong all very wrong!
~
