Evanescent

Chapter 3

Ahhhhhhhhhhh…that would be a noise of relief, hehe. I finally finished my English paper, woo-hoo :) Well, I was excited, you people probably don't care. Okay, so this is actually still R and I might change the rating-rating back eventually…but not yet, lol. So wanna hear like the saddest story ever? So, my best friend never had an easy bake oven…seriously, what a deprived little girl! Didn't everyone one have one of those at some point in time? (and now like half of you are gonna be like, well, I didn't have one either…) So, for her 17th birthday we're getting her…an easy bake over! Hehe :) Wouldn't you love to be friends with me? ;)

And, yes, this is going to be CnM eventually…this is me we're talking about here, lol…

Wish I was

Too dead to care

If indeed I cared at all

Never had a voice to protest

So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason

My flaws are open season

For this I gave up trying

One good turn deserves my dying

And you don't need to bother

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on

I won't let go till it bleeds

(Bother, Stone Sour)

"C'mon, Chandler," Monica knocked on his door a third time, starting to get frustrated with the fact that he wouldn't even answer her, let alone unlock the door. "Chand-" she was cut off when he finally opened the door. "Hey," she smiled at him, surprised that Joey's description of looking "like shit" actually fit quite well.

Chandler turned back around, going to sit on his bed, leaving the door open for Monica to follow. Monica shut the door behind her, noting from the ashtray full of butts and the pack of cigarettes on his nightstand that he was smoking again, but deciding against saying anything about it. Instead, she sat down beside him, handing him two tickets.

"What are these?" he looked at her, confused.

"What do they look like?"

"Tickets to tonight's Ranger's game?" Monica nodded. "Thanks, Mon, but why don't you see if Ross and Joey want them."

"Huh-uh. You and me, Bing."

"You wanna go to a hockey game?" he raised his eyebrows.

Monica shrugged. "Why not? I got the tickets from this guy at work cause he had them but couldn't go tonight, so…"

"Why don't you go with Joey, then."

"Because I want to go with you," she looked him in the eye, but he immediately broke the eye contact, looking down at the tickets and sighing. "Please, Chandler?"

~*~

I wish they hadn't sent Monica this time. And I say 'they' because I know it's a group effort. A let's-cheer-Chandler-up effort so that they don't feel guilty and can tell themselves that they at least made an attempt.

But I really wish they hadn't sent Monica.

I really can't say no to her. Not when she's sitting next to me, trying her best to make eye contact again, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.

"C'mon…Please, Chandler?"

God, why'd they have to send Monica.

"Hey," she moved closer, taking me by surprise and gently touching my cheek. "Cheer up. She wasn't worth this," she finally succeeded in making eye contact, not letting me break it this time.

I almost laugh at that. God, they think it's all Kathy. But she was just the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. She just made me realize how I really am the one to always screw up. I didn't trust her. I was too damn immature to trust her. Story of my life. I once again fucked up.

I finally moved away from her touch, knowing that any longer and she'll break me, and lay down. "I'm not really in a hockey game mood tonight."

"Then I'll just stay here with you," she laid down next to me, once again moving closer.

Godamnit, she's persistent. Which is probably why they sent her this time instead of Joey. She won't give up. And as long as she has something that she needs to get done, she'll act like she cares.

"Does Joey have a date or something and can't go?"

Monica sat up suddenly, getting huffy, and it's then that I realized my mistake, a minute too late. "I don't know, Chandler, and I don't really care. Did you ever think that maybe I just might want to spend time with you?"

~*~

Monica stood up, finally understanding why Joey had given up. Chandler just didn't care. He'd shut everyone out and wasn't about to let anyone in.

"You know what, never mind. I'll just give the tickets to Joey or Ross," she gave up, walking out of the room.

Chandler closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he realized something. They didn't send her because she was persistent. They didn't even know that she came.

He finally jumped up, opening his door in time to see Monica about to walk out the front door. "Um, Mon?" Monica turned around, surprised to hear his voice. "Uh, I suppose I could go to a hockey game…"

Monica grinned in silent victory, closing the door behind her as she walked back over to him. "Okay."

"Um, I'm gonna go take a shower and change and then we should probably go," he started to turn to go get ready.

Monica nodded. "Okay," she smiled at him. "Chandler?" he turned back to face her. "Thank you," she kissed him quickly on the lips, no longer than would be considered friendly, before leaving to let him get ready to go.

~*~

Maybe she really cares. I hadn't given it a second thought that anyone actually gives a shit. Not that I have any guarantee that she actually does, but I'll let myself believe that. As dangerous as that may be, I'll believe it.

I just hope she doesn't kiss me again. That gives her even more control over me, and she already has way too much.

But I guess even a fuck up likes to feel that someone cares.

Tbc…

Yeah, I'm not sure I like the switching of POV's, but I'm gonna keep trying it this way, lol. But anyway, please review, thanks :)