Whee! The last chapter was kind of a pain, but I had bunches of fun with this one. Enjoy!

I do not own them in a box, I do not own them with a fox, I don't own any of these dudes, I do not own them, you dumb boob.

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As soon as Nny heard what was going on, he wisely moved towards the basement. While Willard attempted to stall the policeman, he went to warn the three down there. Unfortunately, his years of solitude combined with his lack of experience when dealing with the law left him ill-prepared to do so. Therefore, when his scream of, "Hey! Have you finished hiding those bodies yet?!?" echoed through the main entrance, Willard pretended not to hear it.

"Could you please come back later, officer?" Willard asked uncertainly.

" 'Fraid not. You folks live out here in the middle of nowhere and I can't be making trips back and forth like crazy." He sniffed and spit over his shoulder.

"Um... it's just that the owner of the house is..." He glanced behind him to where Joe-Bob was still standing comatose. "...out. Really out."

"Now look here mister, I just want to ask a few questions. And all this reluctance is a mite suspicious, if'n you were to ask me."

Willard sighed and took one last glance over his shoulder. Nny was giving him a thumbs-up sign, which he took as a good indication. "Okay, okay, hang on a second..." He undid the latch and opened the door all the way. Officer Hodder walked in, glancing around and quickly noticing Joe-Bob. He raised a couple of eyebrows.

"Uh, so what did you want to ask about?" Willard did his best to maneuver him towards the den. That proved to be a bad idea, since someone had left a few stray knives sitting in a corner there. Fortunately for Willard, Nny re-entered the den at that moment, followed by Carrie, Bobby-Jo and Norman. Someone had successfully gotten Norman to take off the dress, but he still refused to part with the wig.

"Well," said Hodder, looking around and speaking with an air of solemnity while constantly tugging at his pants. "I don't want to alarm anyone, but a lot of people have been disappearing from this area." The others made a few unsuccessful attempts to look shocked.

"Yes, I know, it's upsetting. First there was the murder at the movie theater-" He didn't notice Carrie shooting a 'told-you-so' look at Nny. "Then a man who lived a few miles from here was found in a ravine. And just a few hours ago, Tony's Pizza Place reported over a dozen missing delivery men." At that, everyone sort of averted their eyes. "Now someone from the high school has disappeared."

"I didn't know about that." Said Norman. His eyes widened and he looked back at the officer. "By which I mean I didn't hear, you know, anything about it. On the radio. Where I heard about the other people, which is why I knew about *them.* From the radio. What?"

"Riiiiight. Well, I came here to warn you all to be careful. Who knows what kind of sick, perverted psychopath could be capable of such things?" Nny turned away, looking offended.

"That's why you came then? Just to... warn us?" Bobby-Jo asked, hopeful.

Hodder dug a grimy legal pad out of his pocket. "That, and I have a few routine questions to ask you all. No big deal, just have to ask everyone in the area, you know." Everyone shifted uncomfortably, but tried to look casual. He squinted at the pad. "Have any of you noticed anything unusual lately?" He asked. Negative murmurs fluttered out from the other five.

It was only natural that Socrates picked that moment to stick his head out of Willard's collar. Willard didn't seem to notice at first, but Carrie started to give him little nonverbal signals from across the room. The tricky part was, Officer Hodder was standing at and angle and wearing sunglasses, so Willard couldn't tell whether he'd seen it or not. He then began the difficult task of concealing the rat without attracting any attention to himself. First, he made a few awkward movements, intent upon guiding the rodent out of sight. When that didn't work, he gave a harsh whisper of "In!" That seemed to do the trick, Socrates ducked in and crawled through the inside of his sleeve, back down to his pocket. Unfortunately, it also made Hodder turn at the sound and give him an inquisitive look. He smiled nervously.

"Do you have, uh, any other questions?" Bobby-Jo tried to turn his attention away.

"Oh, yes..." Hodder looked back at the paper and continued. "Is there anyone else who lives here with you?"

"Well..." Bobby-Jo said, "There's those people in the hospital..."

"The hospital!? They weren't attacked by anyone, were they?"

"NO! No, of course not, heh, they have..." she faltered a little.

"Measles." Norman supplied. Unfortunately, at the same time, Nny had supplied "Syphilis" and Carrie had added "Cancer."

"What about that man in the hallway?" Hodder asked, "What the heck does he have?"

"Oh, that's very sad." Nny said, as if that were an explanation in itself.

Hodder rubbed his eyes and continued. "...Anyway... Have you let anyone you didn't know stay here?"

Bobby-Jo was confident as she answered. "Officer, I run a boarding house. Many people stay here, I don't ask questions."

Her answer was probably the best one, but Hodder took it with suspicion. "Uh huh." he said, knowingly. He turned to Willard. "I thought you said the owner was out."

While Hodder's back was turned, Norman raised his arm, which held a knife. Bobby-Jo grabbed it and shook her head sternly. Put on the spot, Willard began to stutter again, just a little. "He is, I mean, one of them is. Two people run the house." He gestured to Bobby-Jo with his head.

The answer seemed to satisfy Hodder, and the others relaxed somewhat. "Is that all you needed to know, then?" Norman asked.

Hodder turned to him. "Are you wearing a wig?"

"...No." said Norman. A great deal of sweaty brown hair was now visibly sticking out the edges of his fake grey hair.

There was a long moment of silence. "Riiight. Well, guess I'll be hitting that ol' dusty road..." Hodder made for the exit.

"I'll walk you to the door..." Norman said, standing.

...It took a few seconds for Bobby-Jo's eyes to widen in realization. "Oh no you won't!" she cried. But it was too late. The others rushed into the main entrance.

"Oh, you idiot!" Carrie moaned.

"Even *I* know you never kill a policeman!" said Nny.

"Oh..." Willard staggered, but didn't throw up this time. Good for him.

It was with an air of profound resentment that Bobby-Jo and Carrie hid this particular body. And before long, more policemen were drawn to the Raunchy Horse by the disappearance of Officer Hodder. Although their investigations never yielded fruit, the other members of the household were slowly growing angrier and angrier with Norman. It wasn't very surprising when he decided to pack up and move on, acting out of self-interest.

The night after the morning Norman left, Nny went out for a walk. Most people go for walks at night when they can't sleep, but Nny was doing so for the opposite reason. He'd begun dozing a little, and he'd hoped the night air might invigorate him. Perhaps it was the tranquilizing effect of his exhaustion, or maybe the timeless docility of nature, but Nny began to feel very strange. "I seem to be... content." he said, almost with wonder. He knew this was merely a reprieve before the familiar application of pain, but he was determined to enjoy it while it lasted.

It did cause him to look over his situation with new eyes, however. Reverend Meat was leaving him alone, which was always good. He didn't have contact with nearly as many people as he was otherwise forced to. True, he'd been spending more time than he might have otherwise liked with people. But at least there were only a few of them to deal with, no crowds in the middle of nowhere. And he liked the simple, natural beauty that surrounded him at the moment. Slowly but surely, he was beginning to feel more optimistic about where his life was going.

And as Nny mused, there were other people *inside* the house who were still awake.

Carrie was kneeling in front of her bed, looking up at a detailed crucifix affixed to the wall. Her hands were folded, and her eyes were closed. After a few moments, she finished and got up. She then paced around the room for a while. Her room looked fairly unremarkable- a bed, a desk, a dresser, a lamp. It was sparsely decorated, but there were one or two personal touches visible. Still, it wasn't a very stimulating environment, and she started to grow bored and restless. She levitated a few pens and papers, and other small objects, floating them around the room at increasing speed. Eventually she decided to go down to the den, maybe watch some TV, until she felt relaxed enough to sleep.

However, she wasn't the only one who'd decided to go downstairs. Willard was already seated in a chair by the window, deep in thought. He didn't seem to notice when she entered, so she relaxed and sat down on the couch, flipping on the television. At the sound of it going on, Willard turned. They smiled politely and greeted each other, then returned to their previous diversions.

It seemed the Raunchy Horse was fated to a night of activity. Because at that moment an investigative reporter, drawn by the suspicion that was now beginning to surround the building, was sneaking around outside. He had parked a considerable distance away, to ensure some degree of stealth. However, this meant he had to go through a small section of the woods to reach the house itself. Making as little noise as possible, he took high, careful steps, crunching leaves quietly underfoot. To avoid branches, he walked slightly crouched, in classic sneaking position, camera clutched to his chest. Being very dark and unobtrusive, Nny was blending in almost perfectly with the night scene, so the reporter didn't notice him until they were almost touching. Nny noticed the reporter, however.

"What exactly are you doing here?" he asked. His voice wasn't particularly loud, but it broke the almost perfect silence, and the reporter jumped.

Recovering his dignity as quickly as possible, the reporter turned to Nny. "Oh, hi there!" He quickly snapped a picture. "Are you one of the members of the, uh, household here?"

"Please don't do that." Nny indicated the camera, blinking away the afterimage.

"Hey relax, man. Just looking for a story. What do you think happened to the policeman that came here?"

Nny turned away. "I don't know. And I think you would be well advised to go away right now, you're beginning to spoil my good mood."

"There are rumors that someone living here murdered him, there's even talk of connections to the wave of killings that have been plaguing this area recently. What do you have to say about that?" He held out a microcassette recorder.

Nny's left eye twitched. "I'd say that you're very judgmental and intrusive."

"It's my job to be."

"I really think you should leave now, you don't want the kind of story you'll find here." Nny began walking back to the house, eager to get away from this man without incident.

That was clearly not to be however, the man's journalistic curiosity was excited by Nny's words. He followed after him, calling for him to slow down. Nny was able to move through the thick plant life with more ease, so it wasn't until they exited the forest and had almost reached the house itself that the reporter caught up with him.

"Hey! Look, I just want to ask a couple questions. Tell you what, there's a twenty in it for ya if you cooperate. What d'ya say?"

That was too much for Nny. "Do you really think my need for privacy can be overridden by a little currency?" He said, turning. "Not everything can be bought and sold, but try telling *that* to anyone!"

Now the reporter was getting a little on edge. Self-preservation was finally overpowering his intrigue. "See, look, I can tell I came at a bad time..." he began backing away.

But Nny was on a rant, and nothing could stop him now. "Oh, stay!" he threw his arms in the air. "I'm sure there's some tragedy here that you haven't yet recorded! Some sick act you can play back to the great unwashed so they can grunt and drool and pretend they're above it all!"

"Really, I can see I've overstepped my boundaries..." he moved away from Nny, towards the house. "Look, I'll leave right now! Just don't do anything crazy!"

"Crazy!?" Nny's eyes bulged. "You want to see *crazy?!*"

"No! Dear God, no!"

...Willard was staring peacefully out the window, lulled into a comfortable, thoughtful trance by the soft noises of the television and the lateness of the hour. Then the bleeding body of the reporter was flung against the window, hard enough to crack the glass.

"Jesus!" Willard screamed, jumping backwards and out of the seat. The reporter moved his lips soundlessly, a look of horror on his face. A gloved hand grabbed him by the cuff of his shirt and dragged him out of Willard's field of vision. He left bloody handprints as he grabbed at the window.

"Jesus." Carrie agreed. Coming from her it almost sounded like a prayer. Whether it was the impact on the glass or Willard's scream that drew her attention, she had clearly seen most of it. The sound of a car skidding came from the TV, causing her to jump again. She shuddered and clicked it off.

"I can't live like this..." Willard said. "I may have done a few bad things in my life, but this..." He swallowed hard.

"I know what you mean. I guess I shouldn't judge but... you'd think they could go a day or two without killing someone!"

"I just don't see how they can kill *innocent* bystanders, who've never done anything to them."

"I agree. Anyone you murder should have it coming to them."

"Those poor pizza guys..."

They shared a moment of silence for all the nameless pizza guys who'd met their end at the Raunchy Horse. Then they looked at each other and smiled.

...The next morning found Nny in a fairly good mood. When Bobby-Jo came downstairs to make coffee, he'd already prepared some, and was sitting at the table, drinking a cupful of it.

"Well, you certainly look chipper this morning!"

"Please don't say chipper. It's probably the caffeine, I don't usually drink coffee."

"Still, it's nice to see you smiling, for once." She glanced around and then looked at her watch, it was much later than she had thought. "Where's Carrie and Willard?"

"Oh, they're gone." Nny took another sip of coffee.

"*What!?*" Bobby-Jo cried.

"Yes. Last night they stayed up talking, and for some bizarre reason, they fell in love. Then they just ran off." Nny shrugged. "Anyway, I'm going for a walk. See you later."

Bobby-Jo remained still for a moment, a look of shock on her face. Minutes later, she could only think of one thing to say. "He's like, thirty! Eww!"

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Eheheh, yeah. Well, since when does age difference even FACTOR into fanfiction? Anyway, stay tuned for the epilogue, as well as information about a sequel.