Evanescent
Chapter 11
Thanks again for the reviews :) and I'm glad those of you that still hadn't got what there was to get finally got it, glad I didn't loose you (lol, I'm sorry, I couldn't not do that ;) you're not gonna update for a month now, are you?). Oh, and I have a question. Am I like the only person in the world who doesn't like Dawson's Creek? Like, I cannot stand the show, lol, but everyone I know loves it. And I've tried to watch it, there's reruns on in the morning, but I just…I can't, lol. So am I alone or can anyone else out there not stand it? Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. Okay…
I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But, oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in everything that I have achieved
I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
(Away From Me, Evanescence)
"Hey."
Chandler immediately looked up, the voice belonging to the one person whom he'd least expected to come. Everyone else had come to see him, everyone but Joey. So he really hadn't expected him to be the one to come bring him home.
"Hey, Joe," he replied quietly, trying to read the look in his eyes.
Joey slowly took a step toward where Chandler was standing, and from the look on his face, he could tell that Joey was either going to hit him or hug him.
Chandler tried to come up with something to say to him, to formulate at least a single sentence, anything. Joey had found him; he'd gathered that much from his absence. So what needed to be said, what words could be deemed appropriate, he had no idea. Nothing seemed to fit.
Joey finally cleared his throat, breaking the all too awkward of a silence for there to be between two best friends. "Monica's on her way. We're supposed to wait for her before we leave," he finally said quietly.
"Oh, um, okay," Chandler replied, still fighting with himself for the right words to say.
"Don't ever do anything like that again," Joey continued, and Chandler looked up, surprised. "You have no idea what it's like to think that you're going to lose one of the most important people in your life," he made eye contact, and Chandler was surprised by the fact that he could tell he was holding back tears.
"Joe, I'm so sorry, I didn't even-"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad," Joey sighed, interrupting him. "I just…I couldn't take it if I lost you, Chandler. You're the closest thing to a brother that I've ever had. You're my best friend. And I-I love you…We all do," he paused, leaning back against the bed, next to where Chandler was standing.
"I know," Chandler whispered, eyes fixed on the floor out of guilt, whether that had been Joey's intent or not.
"And Monica…she feels guilty…"
"I thought I talked to her…"
"You know Monica," Joey laughed, and Chandler finally looked back up at him. "And speaking of," they both looked up as Monica walked in. "Hey."
"Hey," she smiled seeing them, happy that Joey had finally come to see Chandler. "You ready to get out of here?"
"God, yes," Chandler returned her smile as the guys stood up, ready to go.
Joey grabbed the bag that they had brought for him with clothes and stuff in it, leading the way out the door. As they walked through the door, Monica slipped her hand into Chandler's, and at that action, Chandler closed his eyes, the true weight of his actions finally sinking in.
~*~
Ever suddenly realize just how bad you fucked up?
I hurt them. Intentionally or not, I hurt the most important people in my life. I've never seen that look in Joey's eyes before. That look that borders on pain and anger, not sure which one is the stronger emotion. Not even when he found out that I was the "other guy" when his relationship with Kathy ended was it that look. An almost betrayed look.
But I'm with him on everything he said. He's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. I mean, yeah, there's Ross and he's been one of my best friends since college, but…he's not Joey. It's not the same thing.
And Monica. I wouldn't intentionally hurt her if my life depended on it. But here I am; I hurt her. And I have a feeling that the fact that I yelled at her is still part of what's killing her the most.
And as much as I love the rest of them, I didn't see the same look in anyone else's eyes but theirs. They were all mad, glad, happy, sad, whatever…but it wasn't the same. They were hurt, sure…but it wasn't that almost betrayed look that Joey had in his eyes.
But like I said before, story of a fuck up.
I just hurt two of the most important people in my life.
Tbc…
My cell phone just rang once and then turned itself off…and it wasn't cuz the battery's low…how weird is that? But anyway, review, please. Hm, doesn't that sound bossier? Like, bossier than please review? Please review sounds nice…review, please sounds bossy…and I sound insane, so I'll shut up…
