Evanescent

Chapter 16

Know what's weird? The word babe. Well, not the word itself, but the fact that when some guys say it it sounds sweet and charming, but then other guys'll say it and you're like 'eww, pig.' Ya know? Or maybe not, lol. And know what else is weird? The fact that I have a permanent soccer tan. Seriously. It won't go away! I have permanent tan lines from my shin guards and it doesn't matter how tan I get or whatever, they never go away! *sighs* But, um enough of my rambling…Oh, and thanks for the reviews :) And I have a lonnnngggg inside joke about sex in hot tubs with my friends so I've been so dying to do that! Not do that as in sex in a hot tub, but…yeah, I'll shut up, lol. Here's the last part…enjoy…

He spent his whole life being too young

To live the life that's in his dreams

At night he lies awake and he wonders

Why can't that be me

'Cause in his life he's filled

With all these good intentions

He's left a lot of things

He'd rather not mention right now

But just before he says goodnight

He looks up with a little smile at me

And he says

If I could be like that

Well I would give anything

Just to live one day

In those shoes

If I could be like that

What would I do

What would I do, yeah

(Be Like That, 3 Doors Down)

Monica rolled over, reaching out for Chandler, sitting up groggily when all she was met with was a cold empty bed. She blinked rapidly a few times, trying to wake up as she looked around, wondering where he had gone. "Chandler," she said sleepily, standing up and pulling on a robe as she got out of bed when there was no answer. "Chandler," she repeated, looking at the still bolted door and knowing from that that he couldn't have actually gone anywhere. "Chandler," she walked over to the bathroom and switched the light on, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. She frowned, realizing that he wasn't in there and walked out.

She once again tried to keep herself form panicking, not having a clue as to where he could have gone when the door was still bolted, when something caught her eye; the edge of the curtain blowing slightly in the breeze.

Monica went over to the door going out to the balcony, opening it farther so that she could go out. She smiled when she was met by a half-dressed Chandler wearing only boxers and an open robe sitting back against the building.

"Hey," she said quietly, not sure that he'd seen her come out.

"Hey yourself," he replied, putting out the cigarette he'd been smoking.

"You shouldn't smoke."

"Yeah, I know," he said, still not looking at her, taking a deep breath as he tried to find the words to start.

"I-"

"Look-"

The both started at the same time, laughing.

"You go," Monica smiled, still standing in the doorway.

"Look, last night was…amazing," he started, producing a grin from both of them.

"But…"

"But," he smiled at her knowingly. "I don't think I can do this right now. A relationship, I mean. Because I have a feeling that that's what something between us would turn into. But I can't right now. I kind of just need to focus on me right now and figure all this shit out. And I know it's selfish, but…I think I need to be selfish right now."

"I can wait," Monica smiled, walking over to where he was seated.

"I don't know that I'm worth waiting for," he replied seriously.

"I do," Monica looked him in the eye, finally getting him to smile.

"That doesn't mean that I don't still need you, though," he finally said quietly. "Just…"

"I know," she stopped him.

"I just wish that I wasn't so fucked up."

"You're not fucked up, Chandler."

"Yes, I am."

"Well then I like you fucked up," she said, and he laughed. "So…this is just between us for now?"

"Yeah," Chandler nodded.

"Then it's a good thing that hickey isn't any higher or else you'd have some explaining to do to everyone else," she laughed, touching where it was, right above his collarbone, when he looked down. "Sorry."

"Hey, you didn't hear me complaining at the time…"

Monica laughed, letting him pull her down into his arms. She leaned her head back against his bare chest, sighing with content at his arms around her, both staring out at the ocean, lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm gonna go to Ross's party," Chandler finally mumbled against her hair, watching as the sun began to rise over the ocean, signaling the begin of a new day. He smiled, happy to leave everything else in the past.

A new day, a new start.

A new beginning.

ThE eNd

And that, children, is it. I know it leaves a lot of things still…without closure, but…this is the way I was going to end it from the beginning. Seriously, I had the first chapter written and the idea for the last chapter and this one when I started this. And I was going to have a lot more happen between the time he got out of the hospital and here, but…this would've been like 30 parts and I don't have enough discipline to write that much, lol. Seriously, there are like 20 other songs that I wanted to use in this that I didn't get the chance to. But, oh, well. So please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and for all of the reviews *muah*