***Each part will have its own warnings, pairings, ratings, etc.***
Authors: aomurasakiai & Captain Hauq
Category: shounen ai, TWT, OOC, Humor
Warnings: Duo supporting Relena, Heero pulling stuff from "spandex-space", um... a completely clueless and *really* annoying Relena? (who never seems to die?), Relena-bashing (Relena-fans won't like this... but it's all for the purposes of humor.)
Pairings: Implied 1+2/2+1, R+1
Spoilers: A tad of... teeny tiny bit of Episode 38 (Birth of Queen Relena) and Episode 41 (Crossfire at Barge)
Rating: PG-13
Special Thanks: To Captain Hauq, of course, for helping me write this.
Dedication: To Presser for his birthday.
Everlasting Love [Part 02 of 08]
"Hello, Relena? Let's get married."
Duo, in his shock, dropped the laptop as a very loud, very shrill noise emanated from the phone. Heero also dropped the phone and swiftly caught his falling laptop. After placing it on the table, he picked up his gun, aimed at the still shrieking voice from phone, and fired. The poor phone, of course, exploded into a million tiny pieces. Duo laughed.
"*Now* let's see how you are going to get of her." he said as he crossed his arms. Heero cocked his gun again.
"The way everyone wants it done." he replied smoothly.
"But you *can't*, can you?" Duo smirked.
"And why not?"
"Let's see." Duo counted on his fingers. "She's vice-foreign minister. She promoted pacifism. She's important to almost everyone in the colonies, not to mention on Earth..." Duo continued to ramble. Heero just looked at him.
That was a year ago." he said calmly. Duo stopped.
"Yeah. So?"
"This is now. She is nothing more than a political puppet." Duo thought for a moment and smiled.
"Good point. Pity that it takes such a short amount of time to go from the top of the world to the bottom of the pits. Like that time she became Queen of the World and Treize came along to expel her. Remember?"
"Hn. Duo, move over there." Heero pointed to the adjacent room. "You can watch."
Duo smirked. "Good luck." he said before heading inside. Heero went inside his own room to retrieve a grenade. Just a few moments later, the doorbell started ringing and Relena's voice could be heard. Both were soon accompanied by pounding from the other side. Heero opened the door and there stood Relena, *somehow* in a wedding dress and looking extremely estatic.
"Heeeeerooooo! I'm reaaaaaady!" Heero shuddered. Duo managed to cover his ears.
"Damn, she has a shrill voice."
Heero looked at her.
"I love you, Relena." he said mechanically. "I want to marry you." He handed her the grenade. "This is your ring." Duo covered his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. "Right there." Heero pointed to the ring on the grenade. "I'm going to get dressed. Don't put it on." And he headed to his room. Relena watched him go in. When the door closed, she instantly yanked off the ring and placed it on her finger and admired it.
"Oh... how kind of Heero." she said with tears in her eyes.
BOOM!
Duo peeked out of the room. "What a moron!" The smoke cleared and there was Relena, unaffected by the grenade. Duo's jaw dropped and he fell over, anime-style. Heero walked out of his room to meet the same sight. Relena looked up.
"Heeeeerooooo! You're not dressed!!!!"
Heero sweatdropped. "Uh, I forgot... my socks." He ran into Duo's room and slammed the door.
"What now?" Duo asked. He watched as Heero took out a gun. And another one.
"Are you crazy?! You think *those* would kill her?" Duo exclaimed. Heero looked at the guns and dropped them. He pulled out a rocket launcher and looked up Duo for his approval. Duo sighed.
"Oh well, just give it a try. Wouldn't hurt."
"Ryokai." Heero sneaked outside where Relena was still admiring her grenade ring. Heero took aim and fired. No effect. Relena just stood there in the middle of the nearly destroyed living room.
"Such a nice and beautiful ring. Wonder how much it costs? 1 million? 2 million? How thoughtful of Heero. And it's my size too. It's just perfect... like him." Heero sweatdropped yet again and sneaked back into Duo's room.
"Get dressed, Duo. And warm up the Gundams."
"Right, right." Duo ran out of the room.
"Heeeeerooooo! What's taking you so long????????" Relena screamed.
"Uh, I'll be out in a minute!" Heero said.
"Oooh Heero, it's so nice of you to make yourself look extra ready just for me!" Heero couldn't take it anymore. He ran out of Duo's room to where Wing Zero and Deathscythe Hell were, already fired up. He strapped himself in and turned on his infared sensors. He and Duo both fired at Relena's position continuously. After oh about 5 minutes, they stopped. Duo spotted the demolished building.
"Alright! That worked out well." he said as he cracked his knuckle. The smoke cleared.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooooo, where'd you go???????????"
TBC…
