***Each part will have its own warnings, pairings, ratings, etc.***

Authors:  aomurasakiai & Captain Hauq

Category:  shounen ai, TWT, OOC, Humor

Warnings:  A very strong and seemingly indestructible Relena, lots of explosives/explosions, Relena-bashing (Relena-fans won't like this...  but it's all for the purposes of humor.)

Pairings:  Implied 1+2, Hinted 2+1, R+1

Spoilers:  None

Rating:  PG-13

Special Thanks:  To Captain Hauq for helping me write this and for the little endnote there at the bottom on Chernobyl.

Dedication:  To Presser for his birthday.



Everlasting Love [Part 03 of 08]



"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooooo, where'd you go???????????"

Heero raised his eyebrow.

"NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!" Duo yelled from Deathscythe. Duo turned on his communications link to Heero's just to see him using Wing Zero to call Relena's cell phone.

"Heero! What *are* you doing?!?!?!" Heero looked at him and signaled him to enter orbit. Duo glared at him.

"Hello? Heero? Heero, is that you? It is you, isn't it? Talk to me, Heero!!!!"

"Relena, I don't love you." Heero said into Wing Zero's comm link. "I am running away... again." He hung up and they both flew off into space.

"HEEEEROOOOO!! COME AND KIIIIIIIIIILLLL MEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Three neighbors looked out of their windows to see what the screaming was all about.

Heero looked at Duo through the comm link. Duo smirked.

"Ninmu ryokai."

Seventeen missiles where then launched at high speed. The blazing streaks of light flew straight into Relena's mouth.

After the smoke cleared, a couple indignant neighbors (who had a trouble staying alseep through Relena's shrill voice) ran to see if the annoying shrew had finally stopped. The rest simply went with their instincts and followed the bright light and sound of breaking glass.

They heard her before they saw her.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! HEERO SENT ME A SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Duo's mouth dropped opened and he looked at Heero to see how *he* was handling the situation. "Uh, Heero? Are you ok?" Duo asked when he saw Heero's pale face. The cause of it was that Heero realized something.........


His laptop *was* still on the table.......................


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero screamed. He glared at Relena.

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!"

Heero then launched a static verticon missile that would create an expanding bubble to push all the inhabitants 20 miles away.

Then, 32 axionic nuclear missiles were launched to where Relena was, still screaming.

The resulting explosion leveled 10 miles of the city, making Chernobyl [1] look like a picnic.

After the smoke cleared... again... Duo spotted a huge crater. He whistled.

"That's... gotta hurt..." But then, his visual sensors picked up a small white dot at the crater's center."

"HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Duo smacked himself on the head and looked back at Heero. He just growled.

Heero flew down at top speed with Duo right behind him. He landed in front of Relena, who smiled.

"Heero! You came back to me!" She spread out her arms, expecting a hug. Wing Zero lifted its foot and stepped on Relena. Heero lifted it again to reveal... yeah yeah you know... Relena... still standing... with her arms outstretched.

"I GIVE UP!" Duo screamed in frustration. Heero eyes burned. He lifted Wing Zero's foot again and stomps continuously on Relena.

"You! stomp You're the one stomp who took stomp him away stomp from me!!!!! stomp" Relena screamed.

Duo looked at her, amazed that she was *still* talking! "Excuse me?"

"Ahhhhh!!!!! I demand that you stomp stomp stomp bring him back! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??? stomp I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!! stomp stomp stomp I HAVE POWER!!!!!" Relena then lifted Wing Zero off the ground and threw it into orbit. It crashed... on the moon.

"Heero!!" Duo glared at Relena. "How dare you!!!"

"And you! You're his best friend!" Relena continued. "Anyone who takes him away from me is… not good!!!!!"

"You have crossed Shinigami once too many, sister!" Relena scoffed and began walking towards Deathscythe Hell. She stumbled and fell repeatedly due to her wedding gown. Duo grabbed his scythe.

"GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!" And he swung at her. It managed to cut her veil. Relena gasped.

"How could you?!?!?!?!?!? I had this gown especially made for when Heero and I get married!!! I go to sleep in it every night!!!!!" Duo looked at her.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" He swung again and again and again.

"You.... you cut the beautiful ring Heero gave me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She grabbed the scythe on the next swing.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Relena threw Duo on the moon. Duo crashed right next to Heero. The gundams, though salvageable, where embedded into the lunar surface. Duo turned to face Heero.

"Duo... we have a problem..."



TBC…
Author's Notes:
[1] Chernobyl was an incident in Russia where a nuclear power plant exploded. Due to insufficient safety precautions, a nuclear fire burned and solidified the soil. The fire was so hot that when water was poured on it, it split the water into its hydrogen and oxygen components, thereby increasing the fire's heat. The accident also poisoned the groundwater supply and spread deadly radiation isotopes all throughout Eastern and Western Europe.