***Each part will have its own warnings, pairings, ratings, etc.***


Authors:  aomurasakiai & Captain Hauq

Category:  shounen ai, TWT, OOC, Humor

Warnings:  Wufei and his mysterious hidden box of tissue..., Relena is scary-strong, Relena-bashing (Relena-fans won't like this...  but it's all for the purposes of humor.)

Pairings:  1+2/2+1, R+1

Spoilers:  None

Rating:  PG-13

Special Thanks:  To Captain Hauq, of course, for helping me write this.

Dedication:  To Presser for his birthday.

Everlasting Love [Part 04 of 08]



"Duo... we have a problem..."

"Gee Heero... *When* did you figure that out?"

Ignoring the American boy's ranting, Heero picked up his celluar phone and dialed a few numbers.

"What are you doing?" asked Duo.

"Calling for reinforcements."

As Heero began to describe the night's/morning's events to the people on the other line, Duo decided that it might be a good idea to monitor Relena's movements. Pulling out a can of soda and a bucket of popcorn from Deathscythe's secret ration housing, he stared idly at the viewscreen, waiting for Heero to finish his call.

"Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei are on their way. Trowa and Quatre said that they would be here soon after they finish some business. I did have some trouble convincing Wufei that such a strong woman exists though."

Duo laughed. "Oh I think we'll have *no* trouble convincing him when he gets here…"

~~~30 minutes later~~~

Wufei landed first on the lunar surface.

"I don't believe that such a powerful onna exists! She must be a man!!" he bellowed through the comm link.

Duo sighed. "Whatever you say Wu-man. Why don't you see for yourself?" he said while gesturing towards Relena. "She hasn't done much but sit there and weep for the past half hour."

"You know, it might be possible..." Heero said thoughtfully, referring to what Wufei said. Duo sweatdropped. Heero raised an eyebrow. "It would explain a lot of things."

Leaving the pilots on the lunar surface, Wufei raced down to Earth as fast as he could.

"Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" he screamed as he emptied his homing missile compliment. Relena looked up just in time to see them. They made contact.

"Ha! Let's see the onna survive that!!" Wufei said triumphantly. He then heard laughing coming from Deathscythe Hell's comm link.

"You'd be surprised, Wu-man." Duo said through his subsiding chuckles. "Popcorn, Hee-chan?"

The smoke cleared................ again.

Relena coughed a couple of times and looked up at Shenlong. "Who are you?" she asked Wufei.

A vein popped on Wufei's head.

"See! I told ya!" he heard Duo say teasingly. Wufei growled and climbed out of his Gundam.

"Injustice! I refuse to run from this onna!!" he said as he climbed out of his gundam and unsheathed a sword.

Duo smacked his head. "That wouldn't work!!!!!" Duo shouted, thinking that Wufei had lost his marbles.

But Wufei refused to listen.

"Now, pathetic onna, I shall slice you into tiny bite size morsels! You shall be no match for me!"

There were veins throbbing all over Wufei's head now, and he began to pick up his speed, charging towards Relena.

"You shall see that the world is divided into the weak and the strong, and the strong NEVER lose! Justice ALWAYS prevails!"

Wufei leaped into the air.

(bullet time) [1]

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!"

He brought his sword down, attempting to impale Relena.

The sword broke.

Duo spilled the popcorn all over the floor of his gundam as he laughed hysterically. "See? What did I tell ya? That was *the* lamest thing I ever saw!"

Wufei's face paled slightly as he stared at his broken sword.

"Oh no... I've broken Mother!"

Duo laughed even harder when he heard this.

"Grrrr.... Mother was weak!! Father shall be stronger!!!!!" And he took out an even larger sword.

"Hmm... perhaps I should name a laptop after a family member..." Heero said to himself.

"What was that Heero?" Duo asked when he finally stopped laughing.

"Nothing..."

~~~Back on Earth...~~~

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Wufei raced towards Relena. Relena just looked at him.

"Aren't you one of Heero's friends?" she inquired. Wufei swung his sword and.....


.....it broke on Relena's throat.


Duo, *somehow*, laughed harder still, clutching onto his stomach and rolling on the floor of his cockpit.

"THIS IS NOT A TRUE ONNA!! IT IS A MAN DRESSED AS AN ONNA!!!!"

"Yeah... laughs a man infatuated with Heero." Duo said. Heero looked at Duo through his comm link.

"Are you talking about yourself again?" he asked. Duo stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.

Wufei climbed back into Shenlong. "Sensors show... she is a female! Impossible!!! NATAKU!! DESTROY HER!!!!!!!!!!!"

Relena eyes lit up. "Oh! I remember now!! You're Woofa Chang!! The one with the cute ponytail!!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Shenlong rammed straight into Relena.


The gundam split in two.....


"Can it be? A woman.. stronger than... Nataku?" The young Chinese boy then took out a well concealed box of tissue and began to wail for his ruined Gundam.



TBC…
Author's Notes:
[1] Bullet time is the official name of the matrix camera style.