***Each part will have its own warnings, pairings, ratings, etc.***
Authors: aomurasakiai & Captain
Hauq
Category: shounen ai, TWT, OOC, Humor
Warnings: Lots of reference to Sailor Moon stuff and yeah you know... Relena... (Stayin' Alive!), Relena-bashing (Relena-fans won't like this... but it's all for the purposes of humor.), and also... momentary naked Quatre...
Pairings: 1+2/2+1, 3+4/4+3, R+1
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13 for more stuff directed to Relena with intentions to harm/slaughter/maim/torture/kill/destroy/(any other synonym you can think of) her...
Special Thanks: To Captain Hauq, of course, for helping me write this.
Dedication: To Presser for his birthday.
Everlasting Love [Part 06 of 08]
"Heavyarms, initiate... self-destruction."
Quatre, knowing his lover far too well, was already in Sandrock with some extra
ammunition.
~~~At the transport~~~
"Uh, tell me he didn't say what I thought he said..." Duo looked at
Heero and saw his nod of acknowledgement. Duo smacked himself on the forehead.
~~~On the battlefield~~~
"Wait Trowa!!!" Quatre screamed through his comm link. "I have
more bullets!!! Don't do it!"
"Do you *seriously* think that more bullets would help??" Duo's voice
filled the cockpit.
"We can kill Relena later!" Quatre answered. "What's important
right now is that Trowa survives!"
He made it to Heavyarm's location and dropped off the ammunition. Trowa backed
up a few steps from Relena, towards Sandrock, who handed the ammunition to him.
"It's okay, Trowa."
Relena looked down at her tattered white dress. The hundred dollar sequins were
no more, and the expensive feathers plucked from female white doves now looked
like they had been taken from dead ravens. Her veil was gone, and the
"N" on her silver tiara that had read "Queen of the World"
now looked like an "R." [1] The small white roses had melted and the
pearls that had cost her THREE of her mansions had been shattered. To top it
off, her diamond necklace was on the floor, in pieces.
"Oh no… I had to take money from the Relena Peacecraft: "Save The
Homeless Orphans" foundation for this dress! I had to stop buying out
Victoria Secrets to afford it!"
Quatre, with his impeccable sense of fashion, couldn't hold back much longer.
"You call that monstrosity a wedding dress? Those sequins were just
horrible; they looked as if they were machined sewn on. You should've bought a
couture dress. No one puts feathers on the sleeves a dress, unless you're
marrying a giant chicken. That tiara was just horrible, although it looks
better now... and those pearls were obtusely large and just didn't blend in.
Getting rid of the necklace was a good idea though because they'd only have
gone well with a PINK wedding dress. Actually… everything goes well with pink…
That did it. "YOU DARE INSULT THE DRESS THAT I DESIGNED FOR MY
HEERO?!?!?" In a fit of rage, she threw the Gundamium rose in her hand
towards Quatre.
Without speaking a word, Trowa pushed Quatre out of harms way and stood in
front of the rose.
This wouldn't have been so bad...
...if he wasn't still holding the ammunition.
A large explosion was the result of rose and ammo, which knocked Heavyarms to
the ground, while the small red rose protruded from its chest.
"Trowa!" cried Quatre.
Blood trickled down Trowa's face as Quatre looked at the image of his lover's
face.
"You… and that anime…" he managed to say before passing out into
unconsciousness.
~~~Back at the transport~~~
"Wu-man!!! Would you please stop that and call for a doctor or
something?!" Duo was getting irritated. "It isn't bad enough that
we're stuck here with a limited amount of oxygen but must you *do* that at a
time like this?!?!"
Wufei didn't look up from his ritual of burning incense sticks for his... dead
relatives. He just ignored the ever-babbling Duo as he proceeded to bow before
the three tombs.
Duo held his head. "That's it! I'm going to go crazy in here!!!"
~~~Back at the battlefield~~~
"You're going to be fine, Trowa." Quatre looked at the unconscious
figure of the young boy.
"You're going to be fine." His attention then shifted from Heavyarms
to Relena.
"Hahahahaha coughs hahahaha chokes
hahahahahahaha!!!" Relena had her hands on her hips with a triumphant
smile on her face.
Quatre stared at the huge dust cloud that the explosion caused.
"You... you... baddie!!" he yelled through the comm link. Relena
looked towards Sandrock and continued laughing.
"Ahhhh!!! You impetuous harlot!!!"
"It's all your fault, you know! You... ruined... my... dress!" Quatre
backed away from her... completely terrified.
" I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO BE THE BEST MAN!!!"
~~~Back at the transport~~~
"Duo, what are you doing?" Heero asked when Duo turned on the
transport's computer.
"Looking up the words 'impetuous' and 'harlot'." Duo said, in the
process of typing out "www.dictionary.com".
"Impetuous - marked by impulsive vehemence, force, or violence. Harlot - a
female prostitute." Heero stated.
Duo's shoulders slumped as he turned off the computer. "Why do I even
bother?"
~~~Back on the battlefield~~~
Quatre unsheathed his heat shotels from Sandrock.
"I'll teach you to never harm Trowa again! I'll teach you never to mess
with Tuxedo Trowa and Sailor Q!!!"
***Camera, which is centered on Quatre, shatters into 3 views that show Heero,
Duo, and Wufei***
Simultaneously: Sailor Q??"
*Music of Quatre singing plays from a recorder in Sandrock's music player*
Fighting evil with sharp wits,
Drinking tea with crumpets!
Always wearing bright pink outfits,
I am the one named Sailor Q!
I am the one… Sailor Q!!!
There was a momentary pause...
"I think I'm going to start repairs on Wing Zero."
"Go Quat! Show her she can't take money from us orphans…. I'm going to go
uh… rebraid my hair!"
"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE AN ONNA!!!"
~~~Back at the battlefield~~~
"Moon prism power!"
Quatre hit a button and a bright light emanated from behind the cockpit of
Sandrock. Quatre hurriedly took off all his clothes and posed dramatically
naked for a second. He then quickly hit another button and the light turned
off. He ended up wearing a sailor suit that was far too small for him,
outlining *every* part of his body perfectly.
"On behalf of love and on behalf of justice, I shall triumph over evil and
that means you! Moon Tiara Magic!"
Quatre's shotels heated up until it was a fiery red color. He threw one,
spinning like a boomerang, towards Relena.
Relena, who had stopped laughing to see the spinning shotel heading her way,
braced herself for impact. But, due to some good luck (or was it bad luck?), her
foot got caught at the destroyed hem of her dress, which in turn caused her to
slip, falling flat on her back while the shotel whizzed by over her head.
Quatre caught the shotel when it returned. He was getting angrier by the minute
and since this *is* Quatre... it is a very bad thing...
Quatre ran towards Relena with his shotels, ready to impale both into her body.
He attempted again and again to make Relena into shish kabob. Holding both
shotels together, he was stabbing the prone Relena constantly. But his poor
shotels were suffering worse than her since they were both splintering while
Relena was still intact.
Eventually, it got to the point where Quatre gave up and threw his shotel's at
Relena's feet, which shattered, ripping the bottom part of the dress and making
it a mini-skirt.
"GREEN STOCKINGS?? WHO WEARS GREEN STOCKINGS?!? GREEN GOES HORRIBLY WITH
THE COLOR PINK!!!"
Heero was quick to take off his tanktop. Duo, who was watching him repair Wing
Zero as he braided his hair, didn't complain.
Wufei, on the other hand, got a slight nosebleed.
Relena had just about enough. "It's time for you to see what happens when
you insult my Peacecraft sense of fashion!"
TBC…
Author's Notes:
[1] Since the "N" change to an "R", it would be...
"Queen of the World" to "Queer of the World".
