***Each part will have its own warnings, pairings, ratings, etc.***
Authors: aomurasakiai & Captain
Hauq
Category: shounen ai, TWT, OOC, Humor
Warnings: Mysterious forces at hand, non-explicit implied lemon, Relena going absolutely berserk, Relena-bashing (Relena-fans won't like this... but it's all for the purposes of humor.)
Pairings: Implied 1+2/2+1, 1X2 for the non-explicit implied lemon, 3+4/4+3, R+1
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13 for implied lemon
Special Thanks: To Captain Hauq, of course, for helping me write this.
Dedication: To Presser for his birthday.
Everlasting Love [Part 07 of 08]
Relena had just about enough. "It's time for you to see what happens when
you insult my Peacecraft sense of fashion!"
Quatre let out a laugh. "Ha! Don't you mean "Peacecrap"? Please!
I have more fashion sense in my pinky than you do!" he said, wiggling his
pinky for emphasis.
Relena was doing her best to glare at Quatre but she couldn't help but notice
that he looked more beautiful than her in that Sailor Scout uniform. The
extremely short skirt showed off his legs that would make *anyone* nosebleed on
the spot. The top half proved that he had petite form for a guy. Quatre
smirked.
"Like what you see, Your Majesty? I bet even I could win Heero over
you!" he said in a mocking voice. Relena sputtered.
"Hmph! No, I do NOT like what I see! Men are supposed to wear pants, not
skirts! And you know that Heero loves me! We're getting married!!" Her
eyes started to sparkle and her voice started to get dreamy. "Heero... my
knight in shining armor... How I love thee..." She sighed deeply.
Quatre let out a sigh of his own. "Oh please, you're so delusional...
Don't you understand that Heero is gay?"
"NO! Don't ever say or even *mention* Heero and the g-word in the same
sentence!! Heero is not g- I mean, Heero loves me!!!"
Quatre looked bored. "Uh huh..." He rolled his eyes.
Relena placed her hands on her hips angrily. "If Heero is not straight
then I shall be struck... [1]" The skies mysteriously thundered even
though it was a cloudless morning. "Um... I shall be... trampled by...
[2]" Mysterious rumbling was heard from far off in the distance.
"Uh... I... shall be carried... [3]" The wind mysteriously picked up
speed.
"Hahaha!! Even Heaven, Wilderness, and Mother Nature agrees with me!"
"Ugh!" Relena threw up her hands in disgust. "What do they know
anyway?? I mean they haven't *seen* Heero do... naughty things, have
they?"
Quatre suddenly smiled... evilly. "Oh I wouldn't know about that..."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm sorry to burst your bubble honey, but your little "angel"
is quite the little devil." Quatre said to her calmly and slowly so it
would penetrate through her skull.
Relena laughed. "Haha! You have no proof!!"
"Oh of course I don't..." Quatre said sarcastically. His fingers flew
across the keyboard and Sandrock's eyes glowed. He held up a blank vid-disc and
popped it into the slot. "Oh, I wonder what could be on this..."
Whatever was on there projected from Sandrock's glowing eyes and towards
Relena. She gasped loudly.
~~~At the transport~~~
"KISAMA!!!" Wufei exclaimed stuffing wads of Kleenex into his
bleeding nose.
"Uh... Heero? How did Quatre get that?" Duo asked pointing to the
projection that was currently replaying the time when they were caught screwing
like weasels inside one of the Winner mansion's huge pantries.
"Trowa was suppose to give that back to me a long time ago..."
~~~Back to the battlefield~~~
Relena stared fixedly at what was before her. "No..." she said softly
but it was drowned out by the moans and shouts that were currently coming out
of the projection.
//"Ah! More Heero... faster... onegai!!!//
"No."
//Harder... Oh gods!!//
"No!"
//I can't hold back... I'm gonna...//
"NOOOO!!!" Relena covered her eyes and ran through the projection,
towards Sandrock. She swiftly made her way up, slipping and tearing her dress
even more. When she got to the Gundam's eyes, she shattered both of them with
two swift punches. Quatre was furious.
"Do you know how much money it takes to fix that???" He strapped
himself in and Sandrock lifted its arm and grabbed Relena. But, having a
deathgrip on its face, she wouldn't budge.
"Oh, be quiet! I've wasted more money on pink limousines than you'll ever
use on your gundams!!!"
"GET OFF ME!!!" Quatre screamed.
"It's your fault for making up those images! How dare you show me a bunch
of lies?!?! I would never believe them!! I REFUSE!!!"
"Oh Allah!! You've seen it with your own eyes already! Why keep deluding
yourself? Heero does not love you!! He loves Du-"
"No! Don't say it!!" She covered her ears and lost her grip on
Sandrock, falling down to the floor. Relena landed at Sandrock's feet, leaving
an impressive cloud of dust.
"And so ends the life of a really weird girl..." Quatre sighed.
"That's coughs what you chokes
think!!!" Relena bursted from the dustcloud and latched herself onto
Sandrock's right leg.
"I'll teach you for telling such lies about my beloved sweetheart!!"
And... she lifted Sandrock up over her head and began to toss it from side to
side... like a rag doll in the mercy of a little girl throwing a fit.
Quatre managed to get out of Sandrock, even though he was shaken and pale. He
watched helplessly as Sandrock was thrown about, until Relena had twisted it
into an unrecognizable piece of metal.
Under normal circumstances, Quatre was a very kind young man.
However, things were not normal.
"What did you do to Sandrock?!" Quatre screamed.
TBC…
Author's Notes:
[1] ...by lightning."
[2] ...a herd of wild animals."
[3] ...away to the far corners of the Earth."
